Much Ado About Hermione

Chapter 6: Piecing the Puzzle

Harry entered the dorm and slowly crept up to the other boy's bed. "Hi Ron."

Ron did not respond. His face remained lowered as he focused on his homework, scribbling like mad on his parchment.

Harry sat on his bed and stared at his friend, wondering how to best initiate a conversation. "Why didn't you study with Hermione and me in the common room?"

Ron did not look at him or even raise his head.

"You can look at my answers, if you want. Hermione looked them over, so they'll correct."

"I don't need help with my homework," Ron replied. "I'm capable of doing things on my own."

"Okay." Harry lay on his bed and watched from the corner of his eye as Ron continued working, using the light from his wand tip as illumination. "Is that thing giving off enough light? I see you squinting."

Ron slammed his book shut. "I can see perfectly. Anyway, I'm already done with this stuff." He arranged his work in a pile on one side of his bed. "Nox," he muttered and the beam from his wand disappeared.

Harry sat up on his bed. "Is there something wrong? You've been kinda avoiding me all day." He tried to look at the other boy, but the room was dimly lit and all he could do was stare into the darkness. "I saw you shooting daggers at me with your eyes in class today."

He squinted at the other bed, trying to see if Ron was looking at him, but he couldn't see the boy's face. "I was just wondering if all of this has to do with what happened this morning."

"What do you mean?" came Ron's voice from the darkness.

"Well, you stormed off like you were mad or something."

"I didn't storm off, I had things I needed to take care of."

"But you didn't even bother to say anything to anyone."

"You guys seemed a little preoccupied with your rose."

Harry shifted uncomfortable on his bed. "Are you mad I gave Hermione the flower?"

"Mad? Why would I be mad? It was a really sweet thing to do. I didn't know you were such a gentleman."

Harry tried to decipher whether his friend was being sarcastic, he wasn't sure if his statement was meant as an insult.

"Besides," Ron continued, "you can give her all the flowers you want and she still won't love you."

"What did you say?" Harry asked. Although Ron spoke in a hushed voice, he heard perfectly well what he said. He just wanted his friend to repeat it, to make sure that he wasn't hearing things.

But Ron was being uncooperative and muttered, "Nothing."

Things were not adding up for Harry. If his friend had other things to take care of, then why did he angrily walk out of the Great Hall? And why did he spend the whole day glaring at him and responding to his questions with one-word answers. He suddenly remember the expression on Hermione's face; she looked as though she knew Ron's reasons for walking off.

The question had been on Harry's mind for some time now, but he avoided asking it. He had gotten little clues and signals that made him suspicious about them: the staring, always being around each other and brushing up against one another. All these things indicated that his friends were keeping something from him.

"Ron, is there something going on between you and Hermione?"

"Like what?"

"Are the two of you dating or something?"

Ron was quiet. Harry waited patiently for an answer, assuming that his friend would begin to speak at any moment. He held his breath, as if his breathing would prevent him from hearing the other boy's every word. However, the only sound that filled the room was the creaking of Ron's bedsprings as he positioned himself on his bed.

"Ron? Did you fall asleep or something?" he finally asked.

"No, I'm still here."

Then why don't you answer my question, Harry thought. He waited a few more moments, but soon grew tired of his friend's reluctance to talk. "Ron."

"I hear you. I'm just trying to figure out a nice way to break the news to you."

"Break what news? And can you turn on your lamp? I really don't like talking into the darkness. It's a bit spooky."

The lamp on Ron's nightstand flickered on. He was lying on his bed, his arms folded behind his head. As he turned to glance at Harry, there was a strange look in his eyes that the green-eyed boy recognized; it was the same smug gleam that was always present in Draco's stare.

Ron smiled at him, almost smirking. He then turned his attention to his hand as he brought his fingers to his face and examined his nails. There was casualness in the manner in which he looked over each cuticle. He seemed to be in no hurry to answer Harry's question.

"Ron, you said you wanted to break some news to me."

"Hermione and I are together."

Harry gulped loudly. "What?"

"Well Harry. What I mean is that Hermione and I have been dating." Ron spoke slowly, as if addressing a mentally challenged child.

Harry tried to keep a neutral expression on his face, not wanting to give any of his emotions away. But it was hard to hide the disappointment he was feeling. He knew that he must have been showing signs of being shattered.

"You look shocked," said Ron.

Harry's breathing quickened. "I don't believe this."

"Why would I make it up?"

"I just never thought you guys would get together. I always imagined her being with.... someone else."

Ron sat up. His calm smugness was gone; he was now staring down at Harry. "When you say someone else, you mean yourself, don't you?" Ron sat on the edge of his bed. The angle in which the light hit his face made him look demonic, which matched his tone of voice.

"No, I didn't mean myself," Harry said quickly. "I just thought she'd be with someone more learned."

The glare in Ron's eyes grew more intense. "Oh, so now I'm too stupid for her?"

"No, that came out all wrong. I didn't mean to call you stupid."

"Yes you did. You think you're the only one who's good enough for her? The Great Harry Potter, The Savior of All Mankind is the only person for Hermione?"

"Ron, you misunderstood me. And I wasn't saying that she would be good with me. Where did you get that--"

Ron raised his hand, signaling for Harry to stop talking. His glare disappeared as he smiled to himself. "It's okay. I'd be jealous too if I was in your situation."

Harry scrunched his eyebrows. "Jealous? Why would I be jealous?" He laughed nervously. "I don't even like her."

"Bullshit you don't. I know that you fancy her like mad."

Harry sat with his mouth agape, not knowing what to say.

"You didn't think I knew, did you?" Ron lay back on his bed, in the same position he had been in earlier. "You know Harry, I'm not as dumb as you might think. I definitely know when a guy is crazy about a girl."

He turned his head to stare at Harry. "And that whole `I got ooze on my robes' bit you did in Potions was brilliant, by the way."

"But I did get something on my robes."

"No, you didn't. I know you had some action happening in your trousers and you needed to handle it."

Harry was mortified. But how did Ron know, he thought to himself.

Ron must have read his thoughts because he immediately responded to his unspoken question. "You didn't really conceal your excitement that well. And wrapping your robes around your body like some mummy doesn't help; it draws more attention to you."

Harry felt his pulse begin to race. All the blood must have been going to his head because he felt his face grow warm. He lowered his head to hide his burning cheeks.

Ron continued talking. "I knew you got excited the moment Hermione put her hand on your knee. You nearly jumped out your chair." He began to chuckle.

When Harry had composed himself, he lifted his head and gazed at his friend.

Ron stopped laughing and watched as Harry's face became strained with concentration. "You still don't believe me, do you?"

"I didn't say that," replied Harry. "In fact, I didn't say a single word."

An uncomfortable silence soon grew in the room as they both stopped talking. "Congratulations," Harry finally said. "Hermione is a great girl and you deserve the best."

Ron sat up on his elbows. "What do you mean I deserve the best? Is that because I grew up poor and was always in your shadow? I don't need your pity."

"You're twisting things around."

"'You deserve the best,'" said Ron in a high-pitched voice, mocking Harry. "Well, don't worry about me cause I've got the best. I've got a beautiful, intelligent woman who loves me."

"Ron, I'm really happy for you and Hermione." Harry looked at the floor, trying to think up things to say that wouldn't agitate the other boy. "But why have you guys kept it a secret? Why not just tell me?"

"Hermione's idea. She thought it would upset you too much."

"So you guys have been sneaking around?"

"Yeah." Ron seemed to have cooled off and began to play with his bed curtains. He rolled onto his side. "But the sneaking around part is kinda exciting, it can really spice up a relationship, if you know what I mean."

Harry didn't want to think about what Ron was implying.

"Just the other day," Ron went on, "she and I had the best sex ever."

"When was this?"

"After Hagrid's class. It was the day of your little ooze episode. "

You mean when I saw you wanking, thought Harry. His mind was now whizzing with thoughts. He clearly remembered Hermione going off to her class; she and Ron had gone their separate ways. He tried to think of when they would have had the opportunity to have sex. He began to analyze the events of that day, when everything suddenly hit him; his friend was lying.

A smile slowly grew on Harry's face when he thought of how stupid he was to believe Ron. But he tried not to let the other boy know he had discovered the truth; he thought that would be too cruel. Plus, Ron had somehow convinced himself that he and Hermione were lovers.

Harry hid his smile as he looked at his friend's face. "Really? You guys sneaked off together after Hagrid's class? Why don't you tell me about it?"

"I didn't really burn my arm," began Ron.

Well, no shit, thought Harry.

"Hermione and I came up with that plan so you wouldn't get suspicious."

"Why would I get suspicious?"

"Because you and I have Trelawney's class together and I didn't want you to start wondering why I wasn't there."

Harry was now clearly impressed by his friend's tale, thinking of how the other boy had thought everything through to the last detail. But he didn't give this knowledge away; he merely nodded his head, pretending to be engrossed by the story.

"After I left Hagrid's class, I waited for her in here."

"What did you guys do?"

Ron sat on the edge of the bed once more, his face growing excited. "She went down on me and then we had sex."

Harry raised his eyebrows, trying to feign interest in the lies the other boy was telling.

"She went down on me for about thirty minutes," said Ron. "She was really slow with her technique. I don't know how I lasted that long. I guess she was just trying to torture me."

"What?"

Ron did not hear him and continued to talk. "She can be so kinky, that girl. She wanted me to.... you know.... all over her picture. But I could never ruin a photo of her like that."

"Ron, back up a second."

Finally pulling himself away from his thoughts, Ron glanced at him. "Did you say something?"

"Yeah. You said that she went down on you real slowly, and she wanted you to cum on her picture?"

"Yeah. But who would do something like that to her beautiful face?" Ron reached into the top drawer of his nightstand and pulled out the picture. "Isn't she beautiful?" he asked, holding it up to Harry; it was the same portrait that Harry had seen him kiss.

Ron looked down at the image of Hermione and smiled. "I decided that the only thing this photo should be covered with, are my kisses."

Harry stared at the floor, trying to digest all the information that he was hearing. The way Ron described his sexual encounter with Hermione fit perfectly with the scene he had witnessed after Hagrid's class.

Images of Ron on the bed bombarded Harry as he analyzed what he had seen and what he had just been told. Yes, he had seen Ron's hand moving up and down, but the other boy could have had his hand on Hermione's head as she slowly moved her mouth along his length.

The hand movement, he picture; all the pieces were coming together.

"Harry, are you okay. You look a little strange."

Ron's voice shattered Harry's train of thought. "Huh?"

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing." Harry felt a little embarrassed for not believing his friend. He knew Ron liked to exaggerate, but the other boy had never blatantly lied to him before. "Is that why you got mad this morning? Cause you thought I was making moves on Hermione?"

"Like I said before, I had other things to take care of. I could care less if you send her all the flowers in the world, it only betters my chances." Ron moved his homework as he climbed under his covers.

"It betters your chances for what?"

"To get lucky." Ron tucked himself into bed. "When you gave her that flower, it only put her in a good mood. So, if she's in a good mood, she's more likely to be...what's the word? Amorous."

He rolled over on his side, turning his back to Harry. "Listen, I'm going to sleep, so I can dream about my baby. Goodnight."

"Goodnight," said Harry. But he didn't go to sleep; he stayed awake, rehashing what had transpired during the conversation.