A Sudden Realisation

Fred and George stood over us. I suppose our little tickling session had interrupted a moment in which the twins were actually studying (I should probably alert mum of this great miracle). Honestly. They can interrupt when I'm studying, but not vice versa? Not that I am usually found studying, much to Hermione's disdain.

I was sitting on the floor, breathing heavily, next to Harry. He was putting his glasses back on when Fred spoke:

"That's right, little brother, take a breather from pawing all over The Boy Who Lived," he said, the sides of his mouth turning up in a smile.

I stared. Did he know?

And then I doubly stared as Harry leaned an arm around me, replying with a bit of a grin on his face:

"That's right, our little tickling matches are really just a coy little cover up for the undying love that we share for one another. And as we rejoice in our combined state of love and affection, we paw each other over. Isn't that right, Ronald?"

Hermione excused herself for a minute, her hand reaching up to cover her mouth. I'm sure she was laughing at the absurd look on my face.

~~

Somewhere around the time after Hermione found out about my feelings for Harry, things began to be a bit.. strange. It wasn't that Harry and I weren't getting along, really.. it was just that, well, Harry was getting along with other people besides me. And I suppose that this wasn't really a bad thing. It was after all my idea that Harry branch out, make some better friends. He couldn't depend on Hermione and I solely for the rest of his life, or at least for the rest of Hogwarts. We were going to leave school in about 3 years, we had to make room for change and new people.

But he didn't have to branch out enough so that we stopped.. well.. I couldn't quite figure out what exactly we had stopped. It wasn't as though our friendship was no longer. When he and I were alone, we'd talk forever, just like we always would have since first year. But add in other people, and it just got a bit.. strange. He would always talk to them more, and I'd get a bit jealous. It was strange, feeling jealous over who Harry talked to. It was just.. different, and I didn't like it.

It wasn't as though he didn't spend time with me anymore, we waited for each other after classes, walked to said classes together, all that. He just spent more time talking to the other people there, as if I were just in the background, like a faithful little dog. Well, perhaps I wasn't as pathetic-sounding as that.

I don't know. Possessiveness had previously never made itself known as one of my strong faults, but I found myself beginning to change into quite the green-eyed monster over.. a green-eyed monster who was not quite a monster.

If that makes any sense at all.

But, honestly. Being around Harry was the thing I most wanted to do right now, but other people would always be around and he would always talk to them instead of me. He'd say things to me of course, but it didn't seem as though I were high on the priority list. It didn't do much for my ego, for obvious reasons, but I wanted to be around him, so I had to suck it up.

Don't give me that look. Guttermind.

Right. To continue on. Making things even more confusing (and you thought they couldn't get any worse! Well, HAH! I have proved you wrong!), Harry had a girlfriend. Well, an ex-girlfriend. Well, an inbetween. I don't know. It's all strange and un-sorted out. I told you it was confusing.

And guess what. That girl was my sister, Ginny, you know her.

It was the most startling piece of news I had ever heard in my life.

I mean, Harry should feel free to go out with whoever he wants to. I don't even mind the fact that he went out with my little sister, my only sister. It was just that, Harry broke up with her at the beginning of fifth year (they went out during the summer), and Ginny was a bit devastated-feeling and started coming to me for advice. Seeing as we were always particularily close and Harry was of course my best friend, so I was the perfect person to come to for advice about such a thing.

And although I had the strangest urge to give her the wrong advice, to sabotage their relationship (because even though I couldn't tell Harry, I didn't exactly want him with anyone else.), I couldn't. This is my sister we're talking about, after all, my sister and my best friend. They both deserve to be happy.

Too bad that my own happiness didn't quite figure in with those plans.

I don't suppose I really understand how I finally accepted and acknowledged these strange little feelings of mine. I just started getting used to them. Perhaps they were always there, somewhere deep down inside, like in those romance novels I mentioned earlier where all the heroines pant and sigh and yearn for their heroes, who are always tall, strapping, dark haired, and devilishly handsome.

Damn. Does this mean I'm a heroine?