The Marauder Monologues

JAMES POTTER: "A Place of Beginnings"

My years at Hogwarts were the years that shaped my life. How could they not be? I grew up - I passed through puberty, discovered that girls didn't really have cooties, learned basically everything I know about magic, met my best friends and my wife. At Hogwarts, I realized what I wanted to do with my life after school was over. At Hogwarts, I learned about my life - some truths about myself.

The Potters are direct descendants of Godric Gryffindor, I'll say that from the start. That clears up a lot of this business about You-Know-Who and why I always seemed to find myself in the thick of things. I used to love that when I was a kid. Now I wish it wasn't so.

No, back to the story at hand. Hogwarts: my home for seven years of my life. For me, Hogwarts is a place of beginnings.

My first day at Hogwarts, I was scared out of my wits. I had two much older cousins on my father's side who had attended Hogwarts as well, but they had graduated a year earlier, and weren't much help babbling on to me about moving staircases and magical forests and detentions in dank, smelly dungeons. They also had told me plenty about which house I'd want to get picked for (Gryffindor, of course), and which house I absolutely did not (Slytherin); but they hadn't mentioned to me just how I was supposed to get picked for them. I wondered if I'd have to do magic - I certainly didn't know many spells. I knew Alohomora, which I'd learned as a six-year-old trying to sneak sweets before dinner, and Engorgio, because I thought it was funny to enlarge bugs to give my mother a fright. But I didn't think they'd be much help if I had to do something spectacular to get chosen for a house. I just knew I'd die of embarrassment if I wasn't chosen for my ancestors' house.

My mother, Eilie Potter, was the one seeing me off on the Hogwarts Express on the morning of 1 September 1971. It was sunny and bright, but there was a nip in the air - I remember because my mother had tried to force me into my coat. I refused to wear it, thinking it wouldn't look cool; I wanted to make a good impression on my future classmates. I wasn't really short for my age, but it seemed like everyone walking around me - through the barrier, around Platform Nine and Three-Quarters, onto the immense train puffing out white clouds of steam - was so much taller than I was. It was disconcerting. I felt so young... I'd never really been away from my family for a long time before.

The suitcase I held was new and a sort of deep blue color. My grandma on my father's side had given it to me as a start-of-term gift, a congratulations for continuing on the tradition of our family attending Hogwarts. Though being a descendant of Gryffindor, I didn't see how I could not go. She'd told me she'd chosen blue because all of the Potters had the bluest eyes of any wizarding family alive. Bluest eyes, and worst eyesight - I'd worn my stupid, gold-rimmed glasses since I was four or five. I thought the bluest eyes bit was bordering on rubbish, but it was a thoughtful gift, and useful.

My father, William Potter, had bid me good-bye the night before, and then used the Floo network to travel to his next assignment. I adored my father; I just didn't see him very often. He was the Minister of the Department of Mysteries, one of the Unspeakables. This meant that while he held a position of high respect, he was also gone on business most of the time and could never tell us where he was going or what he would be doing. Once in a while Mum and I would talk to him through the fire and see the Sphinx or the Taj Mahal or a rainforest in the background. When he was home, though, he was a good dad.

Mum kissed my cheek and I blushed. "Aw, Mum," I said in half-hearted protest, passing a hand over my cheek.

She smiled at me, proudly, but with a mist in her eyes. I was their only child. "Now behave yourself, James," she instructed me, attempting to straighten my hair. Like blue eyes, untamed mops of black hair seemed to be a family trait as well. "Study hard. Owl us right away and tell us what house you've been picked for." She paused, blinking. I hoped she wouldn't cry. "We are so proud of you, James."

"Thanks, Mum," I said quietly, ready to get on the train, and yet not ready. But the matter was solved for me - the train whistle sounded, and I looked around. Most of the students had already boarded.

"Go on," she said, "find a seat." She leaned down and hugged me, then ran a hand across my hair again. "I love you, James."

"I love you, Mum," I said quickly, then turned and hurried onto the train. She stepped back with the other parents and watched sort of sadly as I disappeared into the inside of the Hogwarts Express. Holding my new suitcase to me closely, I peeked through the window into each of the compartments. Towards the front of the train, they all seemed filled with the older students; some in the middle partly filled, but for some reason I couldn't bring myself to ask if they had a seat free. I wasn't sure what I was going to do.

Behind me, another youngish boy with black hair was following a tall girl onto the train. They were yelling things like "Wait, Sariah, where am I supposed to sit?" "Sirius, find your own seat, you'll have to make friends anyway." "But Mom said--" "Why do I always have to look out for you?" at each other.

The girl ducked into one of the front compartments, shutting the door firmly before her brother could enter with her. He stood in front of the closed door for a moment, and then seemed to realize I was watching him. He turned to me and shrugged, looking rather lost. "Sariah wants to sit with her friends, I guess."

"I don't know where to sit, either," I confessed, taking in his appearance. He was a few inches taller than me, with the same black hair, only much neater, and dark eyes. His clothes were in good condition but wrinkled in spots, like he played around in them a good deal.

He looked past me, farther down the aisle. "Wonder if there's anyone in back of the train," he said casually. He must have been a first year like me.

"Let's go see," I suggested, walking that way. He followed me, and two compartments from the very end of the train, we found one that was completely empty. Big enough to hold six, we figured some other unfortunate first years could sit with us on the ride over.

My companion simply lifted his arms and shoved his bulging suitcase into the luggage rack. I thought I glimpsed an article of clothing zipped up and partially showing on the outside, but I wasn't sure, and I didn't really care. The contents of my suitcase were a mess as well. I tried to store mine as effortlessly as he had, but I ended up having to push a little harder as I didn't have his height.

I looked over and found him grinning at me, and I smiled back. "My name's James Potter, what's yours?" I asked.

"Sirius Black," he said. "First year?"

"Yeah."

"Me too." He sat down on one side of the compartment, and I sat on the other. I peeked out the window as the landscape began to roll away past us. When had we pulled out of the station? I thought of my mother suddenly, then tried to push the thought away. "My sister's always hanging out with her friends - like she's too cool for me or something. She's a sixth year and a prefect, but she won't tell me anything about how you get in a house in Hogwarts."

"I don't know anything either," I said. "But I'm really nervous. I want to be in Gryffindor, because my cousins were in there, and they told me Slytherin was the worst house of them all."

"Yeah, that's what I heard," Sirius said, tapping his foot on the floor rather tensely. "Sariah's in Gryffindor, I know she'll be raving pissed if I don't get in too."

"Is she your sister?"

"Yeah."

There was a pause for a moment, as if we weren't sure what else to say. I looked out the window again just in time to see us pass a long, kidney-shaped lake. I'd never seen this before - I wondered where we were.

"Say, where are you from?" Sirius asked casually.

"Craylor's Seat," I replied, "near Godric's Hollow."

"Really? Pretty swank neighborhood, huh?" he guessed.

"Yeah, I guess you could say that. It's not really a big deal." Craylor's Seat was in fact a very rich neighborhood, and several of my relatives lived there or in nearby Godric's Hollow, but money was something I never discussed with friends. It was a deal I always kept with myself - at that age, and still today, a family's money meant nothing. I'd rather get to know the family instead. "What about you?"

"Abingdon, south of Oxford," he replied. "I live with Sariah, our parents, and our little brother Sebasten." Then he grinned at me again. "Mum's got a thing for s-names, can you tell?"

"Just a bit," I laughed.

Then something by the window caught my eye - another boy was walking by, looking around in a somehow pathetically lost way. He stopped with his back turned to our compartment, peering into the window opposite ours for a brief moment. Sirius must have seen him too, because we both looked.

His clothes were a sight - his sweater was patched at both elbows and frayed in a spot around the collar, and holes in his jeans were starting to show. But they were clean. His suitcase was a little older than mine or Sirius's, but also well kept, and his dark blond hair was brushed neatly, parted to the side. Then he turned around and began to walk to the last compartments on the train, apparently assuming we would have no room for him either. And his face was simply haunted - pale, thin, but with intent gray eyes. I have to say I felt sorry for him at first.

"Looks like he doesn't have a seat either," Sirius remarked quietly.

I glanced over. "Shall we invite him in? I mean - he looks all right," I said quickly, hoping to get Sirius's approval so I could catch the boy.

"Yeah," Sirius agreed immediately, and I opened the door and leaned out. The boy was looking in another window, then stood upright and rolled his eyes.

"Hey there," I called, and he turned abruptly and stared at me with those gray eyes. "Er - are you looking for a seat?"

He blinked and waited a moment, as if he wasn't sure what I was saying. "Yes," he finally said, "I am. Everything on the train seems to be full."

"No," I countered, "there's only two of us in our compartment. We're first years. Would you - ah - like to sit with us?"

Another puzzled blink. It was as if he wasn't sure someone really wanted him to sit with them. "Well - yes. Thank you." He had a quiet and very serious voice; in fact, everything about him looked serious.

"Great." I smiled encouragingly at him. Being an only child, I loved meeting new people. I'd never had many friends to play with when I was young, since most of the kids on our street were a good bit older than me. "My name's James Potter."

"Remus Lupin," he said, and returned my expression with a very small curve of his mouth. He put out his hand and shook mine firmly, a very formal gesture.

"Well... Come on, we're in here." I pointed to the door to our compartment and slid it open. Sirius was watching, and stood up when Remus and I entered.

"Hello," Sirius said, giving us what I now gathered to be his trademark grin.

"Sirius, this is Remus Lupin. Remus, this is Sirius Black," I said, introducing my two new - well, yes, my two new friends. "Remus, you're a first year, right?"

"Right," Remus said, his voice still quiet. We all sat down.

"Where are you from?" Sirius asked.

"Kelly," he said matter-of-factly.

"Where's that?" I asked, unfamiliar with the name.

"Outside of Coventry," he answered. "It's really a small wizarding community, not much to it--"

"Kelly as in Kelly Forest?" Sirius interrupted.

"Except Kelly Forest," Remus amended. He looked away.

"Kelly Forest?" I repeated. "What on earth is that?"

"It's this haunted forest, James," Sirius explained excitedly, "really famous. All sorts of weird things live in there. Or at least people say they do. No one's really seen much from it."

"So it may not be haunted at all," I said, laughing.

"Right, but it's famous! That's really cool, Remus, have you ever seen anything weird from the Forest?" Sirius asked, an eager tone to his voice. He leaned forward to Remus, who sat next to me, as if decreasing the distance between them would procure an answer faster.

"Er...no." Remus's voice was quieter than before. "Can't say that I have."

"Darn." Sirius looked disappointed.

Remus paused, studying Sirius's face carefully, before finally asking, "Do you have a...sister on this train?"

Sirius and I laughed. "Yeah, Sariah," he admitted. "She's a prefect. Hooray for her. Just means she thinks she can boss everyone around."

I nudged Remus with my elbow. "You're pretty sharp."

"Thank you," he replied, quirking a sort of smile at me again.

We talked about different things for the next half-hour, I guess. The sweets cart came and went, and found us sharing Chocolate Frogs, Cauldron Cakes, and of course Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans. Remus was quiet but paid attention closely; Sirius, on the other hand, was loud, talkative, and quite friendly. I was enjoying the conversation with them, but at the back of my mind I kept remembering that the train ride simply couldn't last forever, and sooner or later we'd get to Hogwarts and be chosen for our houses. The thought made my stomach turn - I didn't appreciate the Chocolate Frogs quite as much as usual.

Sirius kept things light-hearted. "Disgusting!" he cried with a delighted laugh as he swallowed an Every Flavor Bean. "This one is definitely smelly feet, I'm sure of it." As we laughed with him, there was a loud noise outside of our compartment, as if something heavy had hit the floor quite hard. "Someone's luggage fall?" Sirius asked, craning his head to look out the window.

"Stop it," someone called from outside our door. Another masculine voice laughed. "Please?" the first voice tried again.

"Shove off, chubby, just give us your pocket money." The masculine voice.

"Consider it doing you a favor - you won't buy more sweets, so you won't get any fatter than you already are." Another boy speaking. More laughter. Although faint through the door, I could hear the unpleasant tones in the boys' voices.

I glanced over at my seatmates. "Sounds like trouble," I muttered, not wanting to picture what was probably going on outside.

"We should stop them." Remus said, again with the matter-of-fact quality in his voice.

"Right," Sirius said, standing up and pushing up his sleeves.

"No, Sirius," I said quickly, "you can't just go beat the snot out of them. We'll all be punished. You have to outsmart them."

"James, we--" he began, but I shushed him quickly as I heard another voice - this time a girl.

"Get off of him!" a young girl cried, as if she had just walked upon the scene. "You have no right to take his pocket money. Leave him alone."

"Get lost, girlie," one of the two boys said, his voice rough. "Unless you've got something you want to give us as well."

"Right, I've had enough of this," I said, suddenly furious. I hadn't seen any of the parties involved, but it sounded like a simple scenario: two bullies picking on a girl and a fat kid. "Come on." I swung open the door and Sirius and Remus followed me into the hallway.

The scene that had formed in my head was correct. I saw two tall, burly boys, thickset and dark-featured, antagonizing the situation. One of them was cornering a short, red-haired girl against the nearest wall. The other had one foot on the chest of a small, portly boy with pale blond hair.

"Oh, there you are," I said loudly, and all four turned around to face my two companions and me. I addressed the victims of the bullies. "We've been looking all over for you. Ready to come back to the compartment now? Your Chocolate Frogs are about to hop away." I hoped they'd be quick enough to go along with what I was saying.

The girl caught on right away. "Oh, thank you. Yes, I think it's time we got back." She started to edge away from the glaring presence of the one who'd backed her up into the wall. He stepped closer to her.

"Now wait. How are we so sure you're their friends? We ain't seen you before," said the boy who was standing on top of the chubby one. "Wouldn't want to hand our little first years over to no bullies, now. You might beat 'em up."

"Of course these are our friends." Sirius insisted. "First years stick together and what not. Let them go, before the Frogs are gone."

"I don't think so."

"Let them go." Remus said quietly, but taking a step forward. There was a force in his voice he hadn't used before. Something in his eyes must have startled the boy nearest him, because he moved back and gave the red-haired girl the chance to run to us. She stood a little behind Remus, watching to see if she could help us instead of running back to her compartment. I liked that.

"Fine. But this one," said the bully standing on the boy; he kicked the boy as he spoke. "This one stays with us. He's our little friend."

"Are you stupid or something?" asked Sirius heatedly. "We told you to let them go, and we meant let them go. Both of them. So bugger off, steal from someone your own size, and leave him alone."

"Bugger off?" repeated the older boy, cracking his knuckles. I swallowed hard. "No, why don't you bugger off, you--" And he called Sirius a name that would have made my mother blush.

"No one calls me that," Sirius said roughly, taking quick steps forward. Remus and I both automatically reached out to put a hand on his shoulders.

"Sirius, we can't fight them," I said quietly. He looked at me, as if to ask, 'Then what can we do?' The boy on the floor made a squeaking noise, trying to wriggle away.

"Right. You can't fight us, firsties," said the second boy, finally speaking again. "Can't get in trouble before you get there. So why don't you just settle in and watch? Hand over what you've got, while you're at it, there aren't any prefects back here to stick up for you." He approached us menacingly.

"No, but there are witnesses," the red-haired girl said coolly. "Want the entire first year to tell the Headmaster you're picking on the younger students?"

"You wouldn't," said the first boy.

"Oh, yes, I would," the girl replied, still as cool as before. She put her hand on the door of the compartment opposite ours.

"Don't," said the first boy. "You'll regret it. I'll make you pay a thousand times over at school, just you wait--"

But the girl wasn't waiting, or even listening to him, it seemed. She slid open the door and said quickly, "Tatiana, Carline, Bethanie, Ouida. Would you come out here? I want to show you two boys who can't fight people their own size." And four first-year girls filed out of the compartment and stood in a huddle behind Sirius, Remus, and me.

"Well, you're right, Lily." The speaker was the only blonde in the group, with flashing dark eyes. "Two stupid boys who don't have anything better to do."

The 'two stupid boys' in question glanced around and tallied up the number on each side of the argument. They were only two, and there were now nine first-years in the hallway. Finally, the boy standing on our classmate swore numerous times and stepped off of the plump student and stalked away. His friend followed him, but stopped when the first boy turned around and faced the red-haired girl. "I'll make you sorry, you--" And he called the girl an even nastier name than he'd called Sirius. She flinched slightly, but didn't turn away. And at last they left.

We all breathed a sigh of relief, and then I extended a hand to the boy on the floor. "You all right?" I asked.

He stood and sniffed, brushing dust off of his jeans and buttoned-up shirt. His short, stringy blond hair was mussed now. "Yeah," he said, in a high, wavering voice, "I'm fine now. Thanks for coming out here," he told me, Sirius, Remus, and the red-haired girl.

"Yeah, thanks," the girl said to me and the boys. She smiled at us - and I noticed how green her eyes were. They were simply shining. I blinked behind my glasses, for some reason speechless. I think I smiled back, but I'm not sure - I don't remember much of what I did in that moment.

"No problem," Sirius said with a fashionable air, running a hand through his hair. Remus watched in silence.

She turned and smiled at him as well. "That was really terrific of you three, helping us out. I just heard them going on in the hall, and - well, I couldn't let them do it."

"Thank you," the boy said again to the girl. She blushed at him.

"Are you all first years?" I asked the girls standing in the hallway. They were a friendly-looking lot.

"Yeah, we are," said a brunette. "You all too?"

"Yeah," Sirius replied.

"I'm James Potter," I said to the boy who'd been on the floor and the red-haired girl.

"Lily Evans," said the girl.

"Peter Pettigrew," the boy answered.

"Well, I'm Sirius Black," Sirius said, with a bit of flair. Talkative, light-hearted, and a show-off around girls. I was starting to really get a kick out of this Sirius.

"Hello, Sirius. And you are...?" she prompted, turning to Remus.

He seemed to get a bit of color in his cheeks. "Remus Lupin," he answered, and actually sort of smiled at her. She returned the look.

"Well, these are Tatiana Shiresong, Carline Geary, Bethanie Vinns, and Ouida Agincourt." As she introduced her friends she pointed at them. Tatiana had a wide, full smile; Carline was a brunette; Bethanie had huge blue eyes and pink cheeks; Ouida was the blonde who'd spoken to the bullies.

"Nice to meet you," the boys and I murmured. We all sort of smiled, unsure of what else to say. Talking to the opposite sex was still awkward then.

"Well, Peter," I said, trying to be practical, "would you like to sit in our compartment? I guess we don't have much farther to go, but you probably shouldn't go out there again."

"Right. Er, yeah, thanks, James," he said, seeming to grow nervous at the thought of facing the bullies again.

"Yeah. Um...okay," I said, smiling sort of stupidly at the girls - at Lily, really.

"Yeah. Well, thanks again," Lily said. She opened the door to the compartment again.

The brunette - Carline - giggled. "See you guys at Hogwarts."

"See you there," said Sirius smoothly. We were eleven and he was already a ladies' man.

"Yeah, see you," I echoed, following Remus into the compartment.

It wasn't much longer 'til we arrived at Hogwarts. Rubeus Hagrid, Keeper of Keys and Grounds at Hogwarts, showed us into the boats and to the castle. Minerva McGonagall, Transfiguration Teacher, Head of Gryffindor House, and Deputy Headmistress met us from there. I'll admit I was quite scared - but impressed and excited and thrilled, somehow, at the same time. Everyone seemed to share the reaction. We formed a line, and I found myself in front of Sirius, Remus, Peter, and a boy I didn't recognize who had a big nose and greasy black hair; we were behind Ouida Agincourt. She was the first to be sorted.

Sorting, I discovered, was how we were chosen for our houses. The Sorting Hat was placed on our heads in alphabetical order and shouted out the name of the house we were to be placed in. I didn't know any of my classmates, save the ones I had briefly met on the train. Ouida Agincourt was sorted into Ravenclaw. Another A and two or three B's, and Professor McGonagall was calling, "Black, Sirius!" to step forward and sit on the stool. Sirius sauntered up there, but his gait wasn't quite like it had been earlier, when we'd been on the train together. His walk was more nervous. But it was brave of him to get up there - just as it had been brave of him to jump into the fray with me on the train. Perhaps that's why he was sorted into Gryffindor. I don't know - but I was glad he was in the house, on the off chance that I got sorted into it as well.

As the C's, D's, and the first half of the E's were called, my mind was at war with itself. Half of me said, 'I'm the descendant of Godric Gryffindor, how could I not be in his old house?' But the other half of me said, 'I don't feel very brave - I didn't want to fight, after all, I tried to talk my way out of the situation on the train, and eight other people were behind me. Just because I'm somewhere down the line of Gryffindors doesn't mean I'm worthy of the house. I'll end up in Hufflepuff, I know it.'

Then something bright red caught my attention, and I saw Lily Evans approaching the stool. I hadn't even heard her name called. She sat down hesitantly, but straight up and alert, as the hat stayed on her head. It was only a few seconds before it cried, "GRYFFINDOR!" just as it had for Sirius. That was two people in the house I hoped I'd belong to - two people I could easily see myself becoming good friends with. Sirius and Lily were sitting at a cheering table on the far left of the Great Hall. I looked up at the darkened sky on the ceiling overhead, as if for answers or advice, but nothing came to me.

It felt like I had so long to wait. Carline Geary, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew were also sorted into Gryffindor, though the hat waited for a very long time before deciding on Peter. And it seemed like so many were sent to Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, or Slytherin - like hardly anyone was getting into Gryffindor. Maybe it was my imagination. There seemed to be a fairly equal number of students at the tables, though the school was small. My father had told me there was only an average of forty new students per year, about ten to a house or something like that. Hogwarts was selective.

My stomach was turning and my palms were rather sweaty when Professor McGonagall finally called, "Potter, James!" to the stool. I walked up there, forcing my feet to move, staring at the hat very determinedly. I would accept whatever decision was made. I wouldn't die if I wasn't sorted into Gryffindor. I would make it...

I glanced at the Gryffindor table before the hat blocked my vision, and saw them all sitting there - Sirius, Remus, Peter, Lily, Carline - I hoped I would make it into the house. Then I heard the hat whispering into my head.

'Well, thank you for joining us,'

it said slowly, with a hint of laughter in its voice, but no sarcasm. 'Glad to have someone so bold here in Hogwarts. And intelligent... Where shall I put you...? There's a great deal ahead for you, boy, and this is merely the beginning...' Again, I was speechless. I couldn't say a word, could barely breathe. But I forced myself to stay calm. The hat continued, 'Of course. Bravo for you, boy, you're in GRYFFINDOR!'

Whipping the hat off, I looked over and saw my friends cheering for me. They told me later I couldn't stop smiling as I practically ran to the table. Sirius scooted over and I sat between him and Peter, across from Lily, Remus, and Carline. Tatiana Shiresong later joined us at the table, but Bethanie Vinns went to Hufflepuff. The greasy-haired boy went to Slytherin, where the two bullies from the train were also seated. They spoke and sat together like they knew each other. There were some other first years, as well, whom I hadn't met before but began eagerly talking to when they sat down. I was so relieved, and, I realized, so hungry. I hadn't really eaten much on the train.

I looked up to the head table where the staff sat to eat. I recognized, in the very center, the man with long, silver hair: Albus Dumbledore. I'd met him only once before, when I'd been out with Dad and we saw him in Diagon Alley. I was about seven. He'd smiled at me and shook my hand as if I were a grown man, and he'd said he looked forward to seeing me at Hogwarts in a few years. I'd liked him right away, but hadn't met him again since.

Lily looked around at our table and laughed. "Who'd have guessed we'd all be in the same house together?" she asked us happily. "I'm sure Bethanie and Ouida will be fine," she added. "But this is wonderful!"

"Sure is," Sirius added, winking at Carline. Remus saw this and rolled his eyes, amused. Peter sniffed again.

Lily, directly across the table, looked at me and smiled brightly. Her eyes were sparkling. "James, I believe at this table are the beginnings of some beautiful friendships."

I nodded. In truth, it was the beginning of much more.