When It All Gets Too Complicated

WIAGTC 02

Ron and Harry sat on the couch, trying to watch TV, but getting very distracted by the muffled giggles and shrieks of laughter from Hermione's room.

Harry frowned. "Do you ever feel like maybe they're laughing at us?"

"Probably." Ron shrugged. "I just pretend they're making out again."

"Heh. That was pretty cool." The two boys nodded to themselves happily.

"They always take so long." Ron sighed, bored. "Hermione wasn't always like this, was she? I seem to remember a time when she was about as girly as you or me."

"She's still as girly as you, Ron."

"I'll take you."

"I'll tell her about the cat thing."

Ron glared. "You can't use that threat forever, you know."

"Oh, you know I can."

"Shut up. I was young. And riddled with testosterone. Seriously, everything turned me on. Hell, Quidditch turned me on."

"As opposed to now."

"Well, I don't get hard from Quidditch, anyway."

"Good to know."

They settled into the comfortable silence that grew from living together for nearly a decade. Sharing a room for most of their adolescence had led to a brutal frankness between the two friends, and there was very little that they didn't talk about.

"So, when are you going to tell her?"

Ron looked at the calender on the wall. "Let's see, today's Friday, so that would make it...never!"

Harry rolled his eyes. "This isn't healthy. You live with her. You see her every day. You haven't picked up in about six months, and every time she brings a bloke home you get all sad and moody for a few days."

Ron ran his hand through his hair and sighed. "I know. I'm just looking for the right moment. And I'm waiting to see if she likes me too."

"I could ask her."

"Don't!" Harry laughed at Ron's horrified expression.

"Come on, let's get dressed."

Le Fay's had a very strict dresscode of dark colours and no modern Muggle clothing. A week ago, Ginny had taken Ron and Harry to the specialist clothing store she worked in, and had fitted them out in clothes neither felt at all comfortable in. For Harry, she had chosen a loose black shirt, and some very tight pants in a colour she insisted was aubergine, but it really just looked like purple to Harry. Ron she had decked out in a full-lenth coat similar to Snape's regular garb. He had protested loudly until she told him that near every girl at Hogwarts developed a crush on the Potions master at some point. This had been sufficient to keep Ron in shocked and disgusted silence for the shopping trip.

Ron gloomily surveyed himself in the mirror. His reflection raised an eyebrow.

"Planning a night out? In 1815?"

"Shut up. The club has a dress code."

"Aha. You've been letting the girls dress you again, haven't you?"

Ron glared at his reflection, did up the last button of his high-necked collar and went to find Harry.

Instead, he found Lavender, who was looking gorgeous, in some kind of outfit that showed off her pale skin quite nicely.

"Ron! Don't you look lovely!" She grinned.

"Yeah? I feel a bit stupid." He smiled to himself. Lavender attention. Always good.

"No, you look wonderful. I love your clothes!" She fiddled with something on his collar, and he felt his cheeks redden.

Down the hall, a door opened and a very miserable Harry stepped out. Lavender looked over at him, and drew in a breath.

"God, Harry, you look incredible."

"I feel like Gilderoy Lockhart on his way to a fancy-dress party. To which he's going as a pirate."

"Seriously, though, Harry, you look great. Every girl in the room is going to be stunned when you and Ron walk in."

"What's going to happen?" Hermione asked, and Ron turned to look at her, and promptly lost control of his brain's higher functions.

"Nggh...arrggh..." Ron's face turned the brilliant (and unbecoming) shade Harry and Hermione referred to as "Weasley Puce", and he gaped at her.

Hermione shook her head. "See, Lav, I said it was a bad idea to wear a corset around Dry Spell Boy."

Lavender giggled knowingly, and winked at Ron, and he recovered sufficiently to look persecuted.

"You know, I don't think that's any of Lavender's business, Hermione."

"Don't worry, Ron. I don't care." Lavender smiled winsomely. "But you know what's a good way to pick up? Going to clubs."

Ron took the hint. "Well, I'm ready. "

"Come on, then. I need to try this baby out." Hermione waggled her torso suggestively, and Ron felt his face heat up again.

"Oh, for god's sake, Hermione, stop torturing the poor boy." Harry glared at her, and offered Lavender his arm. "Let's head off."

Le Fay's was very loud, and very full of people who were, much to Harry and Ron's relief, all dressed in accordance to the code the manager had invented.

"Look, Harry. That guy looks even more of a tosser than you do." Ron pointed to a young man dressed in a bright purple satin whatsit, with green tights.

"Heh. Oh, but look, he's dancing all sleazy with that redhead girl...hey, isn't that Ginny?"

Ron laughed. "Bwah! Seamus looks like a total ponce." He had another look, and went magenta. "Hey, he's touching her on the...No! No no no. My sister doesn't have...parts...and therefore there's no way that Sisterfucker is touching those parts so I must be hallucinating. Harry, please tell me I'm hallucinating." He looked at his friend pleadingly.

"It's okay, they've stopped and they're coming over here. Don't punch him, Ron."

"Ron! Harry!" Ginny hugged them. "I'm glad you could come.

"Hi, Ron, Harry." Seamus grinned amicably and extended a hand, which Harry accepted, and Ron glared suspciously at, as if expecting a knife to appear in it.

"Please excuse my friend, Seamus. He's special."

"Okay." Seamus nodded, looking bemused. "So, where are Hermione and Lavender?"

Harry sighed. "Getting men to buy them drinks."

"Really? Hermione?" Seamus raised an eyebrow. "That doesn't really sound like her..."

"No, she's still Hermione. Just...more relaxed. I think that helping to bring down the Dark Lord at the age of 17 puts things into perspective." Ginny grinned at the boys. "And you know, I'd like it if a certain man bought me a drink."

Seamus opened his mouth, and Ron quickly nudged Harry.

"I'd love to!" Harry looked confused that he had spoken, nodded apologetically to Seamus, and drew Ginny away over to the bar. "I think Ron wants to have a word with Seamus. You know, give him the Big Brother Talk."

Ginny rolled her eyes. "Oh, honestly..."

"Well, it's better than giving him the Big Brother Beating." He smiled. "I think he's worried. He saw you dancing with Seamus, you little minx."

Ginny had the good grace to blush. "Yes, well, he needs to realise that I'm grown up."

"Pfft. Ron'll come around. I think he's secretly glad it's Seamus - he likes him. He just lived with him all through their adolescence, and you have to understand that boys of a certain age talk about things that one wouldn't want to think about in relation to one's sister."

"Yes, Surrogate Brother."

"Hey, at least I don't go around to your boyfriend's place in the middle of the night and threaten to "show him a whole new world of hurt."

"That's okay. Bill's calmed down now."

Ron was talking to Seamus with a pleasant smile on his face and a nice calm tone in his voice.. "Okay, Finnegan. I'm going to tell you this because I like you, all right? If you hurt her or anything silly, or even if you fool around and she doesn't find out but it gets back to me, or if you treat her in anyway that doesn't befit the very nice, well-brought up girl that she is, I will hunt you down and destroy you. I will fix it so your insides are out, your outsides are in, and..." The calm act was betrayed by Ron's bulging eyes, and he managed to choke out the rest of his message. "Pain! Lots of pain." He nodded to Seamus, and Seamus smiled weakly in reply.

"No problem, Ron. I'll be good."

"And no more dancing like before!"

"Okay. Look, Lavender and Hermione are over there! Let's go there, so there are witnesses." Seamus dashed off, and Ron followed, throwing the occasional glare at Seamus's back."

Hermione was having a very nice time indeed. Since she and Lavender had delicately seated themselves at the bar, there had been an endless succession of young men offering to buy them drinks, many of which they had accepted. A warm tingly feeling was starting to spread through her body, and she smiled out at the crowd, waiting for the next suitor.

"Hermione, you are such a tease." Lavender giggled and hugged her. Hermione smiled patiently. "No, I'm not, Lav. I'm simply using my boobies to entice men to buy me drinks. If one of them is suitable, I'll go home with him."

Lavender gasped, scandalised, then considered it. "That's a good plan, actually." She reached down and rearranged her breasts so that they were more visible through her low-cut top, then looked over at Hermione and gave up. "It's no use. I can't compete with that corset. Seriously, Herms, you could rest your drink on that rack."

Hermione tested this, and both girls laughed when the glass stayed upright. "Don't worry. Just hitch up your skirt and flash your legs."

"You think so?"

"Absolutely. You have really amazing legs, Lav."

A small strangled noise came from behind them, and they looked up to see Seamus and Ron staring slack-jawed.

"See, you're not even showing them and they're working." Hermione grinned triumphantly.

"Are you two going to snog again?" Seamus smiled at the girls, and Lavender looked all mysterious.

"Maybe, Seamus. Maybe."

"Yeah, I bet that'd get us more drinks."

"Oh, Hermione. Are you up to your usual man-eating ways?" Harry walked up with Ginny in tow.

"Not as much as I am, Harry." Lavender stood up (only a little shakily), and extended a slim hand to him. "You're going to dance with me."

"Apparently so." He flipped a small thumbs-up to Ron, who flipped him the V-sign in return, and they made their way onto the dancefloor."

"And now you and Seamus are going to dance, Ginny, while Ron and I sit here and bemoan our sad, single ways."

Ginny nodded. "Yes, Head Prefect Granger."

"You're bossy when you're drunk, Hermione." Ron sat down next to her, and noticed with glee that a number of men who had been eyeing her speculatively looked disappointed and turned their attentions to other girls.

"Of course I am, Ron. If I didn't tell people what to do, nothing would ever get done."

"Uh-huh."

"Let me show you. You see that girl over there, in the green top?"

Ron scanned the room. "The blonde with the martini?"

"That's the one. She's been eyeing you since you sat down, go ask her to dance."

Ron raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Really?" The girl was very pretty. No Hermione, but still. Hermione would still be there after one dance. "Okay, then."

"Good boy. Now, go get some!"

Hermione downed her drink happily, feeling very satisfied. Ron and the blonde girl were dancing very close, five songs later. And Harry and Lavender were out on the balcony, continuing the strange tango they'd been dancing for months. There was interest on both sides, concealed by friendship. Hermione was hoping they'd just shag and get it over with.

Someone sat down next to her.

"You want another one of those?" indicating the empty glass.

She looked up, ready to turn up the charm, and saw a very old aquintance.

"Draco."

"Yes. Me. Now, do you want a drink or don't you?"

The bored, straight-forward tone that reminded her of about a hundred Head Prefect meetings made her tilt her head, and then nod. "Okay."

He ordered them two straight whiskeys, and she took hers silently.

"You look good, Hermione. What have you been up to?"

"Studying, mainly."

"Some things never change."

"Have you?"

"A bit." He smiled. "Look, finish that up, I want to dance with you."

She grinned, unable to stop herself. "Smooth."

"We don't mess about, you and I. You know that."

"All right." She threw her drink back, and stood up. " I always wanted to dance with you."

"You should've asked. Plenty of dances at Hogwarts."

"You'd have said no."

He looked at her inscrutably. "You know nothing about me, Hermione." He leant dangerously close to her. "Wanna find out a few things?"