Mother of Invention

Mother of Invention

Luna squinted at the Christmas present in deep concentration, as though she could force it to yield its secrets by willpower alone. The package itself was unremarkable, but it was held together by an extremely curious length of twine. The twine was brownish-yellow, completely contiguous with no knots or seams, and when Luna tugged at it experimentally, it gave an odd twang and instantly snapped back around the parcel.

Tonks poked her head into the room at the sound, and rolled her eyes as soon as she saw their present. "Dad must've run out of spellotape when he got to our present," she said, sounding exasperated, amused, and embarrassed all at the same time. "He's got to be the only bloke in Britain who'd wrap a gift with a rubber band just to avoid buying more tape!"

"Rubber band?"

"It's a Muggle thing," Tonks explained. "First they cut a rubber tree and collect the sap, then they... um... do a whole lot of complicated things to it until it turns into these stretchy little bands which Muggles use to tie things together."

"Hm..." Luna answered with a slightly unfocused look in her eyes. Tonks had long ago learned that particular expression meant either Luna had been struck by a brilliant idea, or was off day-dreaming about blibbering humdingers. Even true love couldn't confer the ability to guess Luna's thoughts for certain.

"Sweetheart?" Tonks gently nudged Luna's elbow, "Can you please go back to opening our present?"

"Oh right, yes!" Luna came back to herself and finally tore the wrapping paper from the package. Inside was a hefty book entitled Turning Homes into Havens: How to Safeguard Your Abode Against Floods, Nargle Infestations, Muggle Tourists and Other Common Troubles, along with a Christmas card that congratulated the couple on the purchase of their first house in a booming baritone voice.

At the end of the morning, the book went onto their newly assembled bookshelf, and the wrapping paper went into the bin, but the rubber band was carefully pocketed by Luna for further investigation.

***

After graduating from Hogwarts, Luna decided to follow in her mother's footsteps and became an inventor. She turned out to have an amazing aptitude for the work, and now had clients ranging from Weasleys' Wizarding Wheezes to the Ministry of Magic itself. Last year, Lovegood's Whimsies and Innovations even made the front page of the Daily Prophet when Luna proved that not only did crumple-horned snorkacks actually exist; but after a lot of magical and mechanical manipulation, their horns could be made into Chronophones: devices that allowed the user to listen to conversations from the past or future.

Luna's basement workshop was perpetually overflowing with everything from jumbles of wire to dragon skin and hellhound teeth, so Tonks was not particularly surprised when a large crate of elastic bands joined the other supplies six days before Christmas.

By the time Tonks got home from the Auror's office that day, there was a new harp sitting in their entrance hall. Each of its strings had been replaced with a gilded rubber band, and it was playing a melodic, if slightly twangy rendition of "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen."

"I used a vivificus spell to bring the harp to life, a omni-ambience charm to detect which song would be most suitable for each occasion, and the The Complete Compendium of Christmas Carols and Hymns as the source for the music," Luna explained as she made her way up from the basement. "However, there could be problems later with..."

"I think it's brilliant!" Tonks interrupted, and gave Luna an enthusiastic kiss. The harp paused its playing with a few snaps and twangs, then launched into "Joy to the World" as the two women made their way upstairs.

***

The next afternoon, Santa's sleigh and a herd of miniature flying reindeer appeared on the fireplace mantle, each carefully crafted from multi-colored rubber bands, complete with a tiny red elastic ball for Rudolph's nose.

The morning after that, Tonks rolled out of bed and reached for her clothes, only to encounter a mass of springy ropes and knots.

"Luna, what is this?!" Tonks demanded, holding up a robe made entirely of knotted rubber bands.

"Your new work robes," Luna answered calmly. "Rubber has great heat retention abilities, and will keep you warm on long surveillance stints. The three-dimensional matrix formed by the interwoven bands is excellent for retaining protective charms and deflecting hexes, and physical assaults will just bounce right off." She demonstrated by tossing the alarm clock at Tonks' rubber robe. The clock bounced off harmlessly, and the robe continued to shake and quiver in Tonks' hands like a seaslug heaving its dying breath.

"Luna, I'm really touched, but I can't possibly wear this to work!"

"Why not?" Luna asked, crestfallen.

"Because it... ah, clashes with my hair," Tonks answered as she quickly closed her eyes in concentration and turned her hair bright orange.

"That's no problem, I can dye it any colour you want in five minutes!" With a quick peck on the cheek, Luna departed for her workroom with the robes in hand, leaving Tonks to wonder what she had ever done to deserve such punishment.

***

By the end of the week, Tonks was seriously considering stealing a time turner and preventing humanity from ever discovering rubber. She and her robes were still the laughingstock of the Auror's team, an elastic band on Santa's sleigh had snapped under the strain of the reindeer's constant galloping and smacked an unsuspecting guest during their last dinner party, and the harp had become permanently stuck on the first two verses of "Jingle Bells."

The last straw came on the morning of December 24.

In her work as an auror, Tonks had faced Death Eaters, evil enchantresses, even renegade warlocks and their pet acromantulas without losing her composure. However, one bleary-eyed look into the lavatory made her run out screaming.

"Luna! What's that, that... thing on top of our toilet?"

"The new toilet seat I just made," Luna answered with a proud smile.

"Out of rubber bands?"

"Of course."

"And why," Tonks asked, carefully enunciating every syllable, "is it moving?"

"Well, I put a vigoro charm on it so its shape will change automatically to conform to the user's anatomy, and provide the most comfortable and ergonomic seating possible. It should also keep you warm and --"

"Please take it out," Tonks said as she fought to control her temper.

"Why?"

Tonks' fragile hold on self-control finally snapped. "Because my rubber work robes are going to be the stuff of Auror jokes for decades to come, because Carmichael -- that bloke who got hit by the snapped elastic -- turned out to be allergic to rubber and it took two days before the healers could make his welt and the accompanying rash go away, and because that blasted harp is driving me nuts! Outside of your workshop, I don't want to see a single rubber band in our house ever again!"

"Alright," Luna answered serenely. "You could have said so earlier if they were starting to bother you."

Dutifully, Luna moved her new creations back into the workshop, and the two lovers enjoyed a happy and peaceful Christmas.

In spite of her earlier objections, when a small bag of rubber bands appeared on the bedside table on New Year's Eve, along with some very creative suggestions on how they might be used, Tonks did not complain at all.

Fin