Blazing Sands

Blazing Sands

~ The love that in your eyes I see

I shall be satisfied with its memory for eternity~

Part VIII:

"The Dementors?" She gasped, searching his eyes to see if what he said was indeed what she heard.

"The Dementors," he said evenly as he stood up, taking his empty plate and going towards the sink. Hermione stared at his bare back, still in disbelief of what she had heard.

"But...that's impossible!"

Ron answered with a sarcastic snort at which she realized that she was saying something rather ridiculous. They had both seen enough of impossible to believe it.

"I mean," she explained rather uncomfortably, "The Dementors don't use spells."

Ron shrugged as he used her wand to mutter a dish-washing spell and turned, "I myself don't know how or why, but now it seems they do. Only I know that they have used the Raety curse. We had initially supposed that they were hiding in the Raety dimension to get away from the Aurors. There were extremely few reports of their activity in the Mahabian and none from the other established dimensions. I suspect I could have been the first guinea pig."

"It doesn't make sense!" she picked her cup of tea, unaware that it was cold and sipped it. Making a face at the bitter taste, because she always preferred hot tea, she put it down and said, "The Dementor's most extreme attack is the worse-than-death state of soullessness. Why would they want to kill? They couldn't suck out everything from the person until his soul was theirs, and if he were to die the soul wouldn't be theirs."

"You do realize I didn't understand all of that," he said matter-of-factly, but with a queer smile.

"Look, when they give their kiss, they take out all the energy possible from the person. That would be the soul. But if they were to kill, even if they took out all the happiness from the person, his soul would still be present which they would lose as soon as he died. That is why they never kill. Why start now?"

"Well, if it is any consolation," Ron said bitterly, "There were some Raeties with them."

"Raeties?"

"At least they looked like the Raeties. I was able to stick their swords in their throats before I could disapparate."

The minute he saw Hermione's horrified expression he realized how insensitive and cold that sounded and all words died in his throat.

Hermione swallowed, but didn't say anything, and looked down at her tea.

"Hermione," he tried to say something more, but couldn't.

Hermione stayed silent, even though he had said something in an explanatory tone. What could she do? Reproach him? Shout at him? Ignore it? She could do neither. It seemed so easy for him to say that he killed someone. She knew how it had affected him. The night he told her he was a Spectre she had learnt that he seemed to have lost all sense of feeling by killing whoever it was he killed. In fact she should not have been so unruffled by the idea of killing. She had set out to be an Auror after all. Geiger had always told her that her weakness for feeling guilt about murder would be her downfall. But Geiger was always the prat of prats and she pitied Ron for having him as the Combat Specialist.

What would it be like? She wondered, to be all alone when you know you haven't done something ethically correct? What would be like knowing you had orphaned someone or widowed someone? Or what would it be like to live in a desert for five years and not be able to love? Hermione almost shuddered at the thought.

"You're doing it again," he said, quietly, breaking her stream of thinking.

"Doing what?" She looked at him.

"Giving me one of your famous thoughtful silences." He smiled and said, "I wish I could have been a little more subtle Hermione, but it's just..."

"No Ron." She said, honestly, "I don't want to hear it. I don't think I could bear to."

He conceded by remaining silent. Needing to break the ice, she tried to think of a way to resume the topic, but the only thing she thought of was the way he said it.

..I was able to stick their swords in their throats before I could disapparate...

Was this the life of an Auror? Did Harry go through the same thing everyday? Would she have survived it if she stayed? She thought of Ron and Snape and all that she had heard.

Finally she asked, "Is Dumbledore really dead?"

Ron nodded with a resigned sigh, "Lupin, Moody and Hagrid too. Only mine and a few other deaths were feigned."

"Why Ron?" she said with a frustrated sigh, "What was the basic need to do so? Couldn't you have just disappeared or something?"

"Hermione..." Ron sighed and swore under breath, before throwing up his hands.

"No Ron, don't expect me to understand!" She protested, "At least there would be a chance for you to come back!"

"Hermione, what about my family?" He stood up and went towards the door of the kitchen and leaned on the threshold, "If anyone suspected us to be behind this they could immediately attack our families. By us being dead, they would never know."

"Has anyone else come close to finding out?" she picked up the cup of tea as she stood and went towards the sink and drained it into it; she had lost her taste for it.

"Whoever has is either dead or severely charmed," he muttered.

Hermione folded her arms over her chest and looked straight at the window, "And me, Ron? Shouldn't you kill or charm me?"

He was stunned brutally by what she had just said. She said the worst thing she could have said to him. What could he say to her? Why did she even dare suggest such a horrible thing?

"I have, after all, found out everything." She turned to him, her eyes brimming with tears, "Why not me, Ron?"

"THAT'S ENOUGH!" he roared.

Hermione turned to look back at the sink and said softly, but loud enough for him to hear, "I know your reasons, Ron. I respect them. But I still have six years of grief to deal with. I'm sorry, but though my mind sees your logic. . . My heart does not."

"Neither does mine," he whispered on her neck. She realized then, he was standing right behind her, but she didn't have the heart to look. Hermione closed her eyes when she felt him clasp her shoulders and pull her back against his chest. The touch as gentle as it was, brought about an overwhelming surge in her and she burst into tears, burying her wet face in her hands. Oh god! She felt so weak. She was so lost in her own frustrated sobbing that when she was able to finally control herself with the thought that she was breaking down in front of Ron, she realized she was crying right into his rock hard chest. She looked up at him and saw no pity there. Only concern, regret and something else. Something she could not understand.

Until he bent his head a good foot down and pressed his lips on hers.

It just felt so...right.

And suddenly emotions raged all over her body and before she had any control over it, she had grabbed his head and opened her mouth and took his upper lip between her lips and sucked. A strangled groan erupted from somewhere and she was sure it wasn't her and the minute his hands came around her waist forcefully, she knew it was from him. Opening her mouth to him as he invaded hers with his tongue.

It must have been the lost expression in her eyes, he thought incoherently as he pulled her closer against him and sucked her tongue. She purred involuntarily as he felt her rising higher on her toes to match her head with him. It was no use, he smiled as he replaced his first kiss with the other. She was still shorted than him, but on second thought she was closer to him. Or it could have been his need for her. As all the blood in his head went down south he grunted and deepened the kiss. Her caressing his jaw had sent intriguing feelings over him as he bent her to rest against the sink and lowered his body a little to make it comfortable for her, all the while sucking and tasting her probing tongue. He could do this for hours, Ron thought and he would never be satisfied with enough. He wanted more. He broke away from her, panting furiously and looked at her. Hermione's face was flushed and she was looking into his eyes with an expression mirroring his. Swallowing, his eyes traveled downwards. She always did have a delectable neck.

And before he could stop, he had her moaning as he tasted the soft flawless skin on her neck. He inhaled the scent of her bathing soap as he sucked gently on the thrum of the rapid pulse on her neck.

"Ron!" she gasped and moved her palms, which were flat on his chest, down his side and to his back.

An action that did not bid well with his sanity.

Groaning he moved his right hand from its grip on her arm towards her neck. Tracing a trail down towards the margin of the crossing of her bathrobe. He could hear her laboured breathing at the action and moved his lips along the same trail, parting her robe till the level of the sash and kissing his way to the exposed strip of creamy skin between her breasts.

"Ron please..." she whispered, as her hands moved lower down his back.

He vaguely felt the towel around his waist loosen and fall to the floor as he rose to capture her lips with his own. Her stroking of his lower back and sides of his hips made him stiffer and he pressed his hardness against her crotch.

She broke away from him and gasped loudly arching her head backwards. Something that made him want to elicit the reaction again.

"Don't..." she whispered, looking desirably in his eyes.

"Why not?" he traced his fingers all over her face, and she seemed to like it as she closed her eyes when he did so.

"Because..." she looked down as his index finger rested under her chin and then made her raise her head. Her eyes were still downcast as she whispered, "You won't be here when I wake up."

Ron jerked backwards and let her go. She felt the stab of disappointment replace with misery. Oh god! How sh wanted him! Just the touch of him could send her sanity scouring elsewhere. But she couldn't let him; her mind had argued as the sweet overwhelming feelings that accompanied his skilful kissing tried to defeat her sense of reason. He would be gone. And she would be left heart broken and empty once again. As badly as she needed him that moment, she would be ripped away from him by fate, just as it had once before, and as it would now. Besides, she knew all too well that what he might have felt at that moment could just be pure animalistic lust.

Her eyes roamed over his naked and aroused body. Gods! He was beautiful! But she couldn't have the luxury of having him all to herself. She would either just be a conquest he would regret; or a desire he could never keep for long. And she wanted to be neither. Yet the sight of him aroused was not good for her raging hormones. She could see the disappointment and sense of guilt in his eyes. He bent down to pick up the towel, still looking at her as though someone had ripped away the most precious thing from him. As he wrapped it around himself, she turned around and bit back a sob.

Why, she thought as she felt him leave the room, did she feel as though she had lost a chance? Even when she knew the consequences taking that chance could bear?

She was right, he told himself, as he picked up a heavy book she had in the drawing room and sat on the sofa. He heard the sound of her footsteps going up the stairs to the bedroom and he forced down the desire to follow her. He shut out the overly irrational fury with his eyes squeezing the boiling irritation and anger at her words, telling himself that she had said the truth. He would leave her before she woke up. He could not play with her emotions after upsetting everything else in her life, no matter how hard the drive was in his body to fling her against the bed which she had given up for him and make her his. He swore and paced the room, trying not to think of how good she tasted, or how amazing he felt when her small body was pressed against his, or how badly he wanted to run his hands over her soft breasts, remembering the feel of them crushed against his chest.

"Fuck you Ron!" he warned himself, "This is one woman you dare not touch."

Because this was the one woman he loved.

Hermione awoke long before she opened her eyes, aware of a protective feeling over her. Deciding against questioning it, she relaxed into the feeling. She only remembered falling onto the bed feeling tired and so empty and crying her to sleep after she and Ron...

Her eyes opened as she saw his large arm draped over her waist. She looked down at herself and found herself covered by the sheets and in her bathrobe. She was laying on her side, with her back towards his chest. She craned her neck to him and found him sleeping peacefully against her. She wondered if she had just imagined pushing him away or did he...

He must have come and lay next to her when she had already gone to sleep. She felt rather normal enough to know that she hadn't had sex. Feeling the panic, which she realized only now, dissipate slowly, she gently pushed his arm off her. He shifted and grunted and turned to lie on his back. Turning towards his side she pulled the covers over him, realizing he was still draped by the towel.

He was right, he didn't have any clothes and he couldn't roam about naked in her house, not as long as she wanted to retain her dignity and not lose herself to him just by the sight of him naked. Sighing softly, she sat up and got out of bed looking at the time, it was well into the afternoon. She went towards the cupboard and checked the drawer in which she kept Harry's clothes. His jeans wouldn't fit Ron, considering Harry was inches shorter than Ron, so Hermione pulled out a set of his robes and held it out. It would suffice for now, but it wouldn't do for him to get out in the only robe of Harry's she had with her. She didn't imagine Ron would fancy wearing Harry's underwear either.

All in all it added up that she should get him some new clothes.

"Where are you going?" his sleepy voice made her squeal and round up, clutching her cloak over herself. It struck her then that she was fully dressed and shrieking unnecessarily. If her squealing didn't wake him up fully then definitely her scared expression did as he sat up and rubbed his eyes.

"I...I..." she began to wonder what it was she wanted to say, unprepared for the sight of the half-naked man awake in her bed. Then she remembered exactly why she was going out and relaxed herself before she said, "I was going out to buy you some clothes."

"Oh." He raked his ginger hair with his hands and sighed, "Thanks."

"Pants and a shirt ought to do it. I..."

She turned around and raised her eyebrows expecting him to continue where he broke off, "What?"

"I don't have any money."

"Oh...that's okay, if you want I will draw some from Gringotts for you."

"No...I mean...to pay you."

Hermione rolled her eyes, "It's okay, Ron. I'll hold you to it some other day."

Ron shook his head and something struck him, "Hermione...I need a new wand."

"A new wand?"

"Yes, mine broke in the Mahabian when I tried to counter-hex the Raeties."

"Oh...umm...in that case, we'll go day after tomorrow. Is that okay with you?"

He nodded, and she draped her cloak over herself and said, "Anything else you want, Ron?"

Ron debated whether to tell her to get in bed with him, but didn't as he shook his head chiding himself for even daring to flirt with her after what happened that morning between them.

She nodded and was about to leave when something struck her. Frowning she said, "Ron, that night when you killed Voldemort..."

Ron raised an eyebrow as she continued, "...how could you cast the cloaking spell and the barrier spell without your wand? It was dropped when you were abducted."

Ron frowned remembering Geiger giving him the wand after he Apparated to Mt. Olympus, he remembered the preceding events and then said, "Oh...umm, I had been given a supply of pixie-dust...it acts as a wand when you don't have a wand..."

"I know what pixie-dust is." She nodded.

Of course, Hermione knew everything. He didn't just call her a know-it-all for nothing.

Hermione rolled her eyes and he realized that he should keep his mouth shut more often whenever he thought.

"I better leave, Ron. I advise not to do the same," she said firmly.

"Oh don't worry!" he smiled getting out to the bed, "I wouldn't dare roam about in the streets naked without a wand."

Hermione shook her head as he went into the bathroom and she left wondering what might have happened if she hadn't said, 'don't...'

***

Hermione stood in the Albus Dumbledore Conservatory for Fine Magical Arts feeling more frantic and worried than she had ever been. Ron was alone in her house sleeping comfortably while she stood extremely nervous with Colin Montgomery who was casting her queer looks. She kept wondering how long she would have to stay. She felt guilty. This was after all, Arthur's Victory Ball and there he stood with his full family thanking everyone in the world and making everyone laugh. Hermione knew that it was Ginny who wrote Arthur's speeches most of the time because he was so worried about boring everyone to sleep. She should have been happy and celebrating with him, but she couldn't. And it became worse, knowing that his youngest son was in her house unable to see any of this.

She knew very well that he wasn't happy with the idea of Colin on the whole, and she felt as though she was cheating on him, but her reason dictated to her that he had no right. No matter how adorable he looked when he was jealous. Hermione had to force that thought out of her head. She had almost lost her mind buying a pair of jeans and a pullover for him, imagining him in all the clothes possible and wondering how long it would be before she could rip them away from his body when he kissed her again. She told herself that if she wanted an intact heart she should keep it with her.

"When the Weasleys throw a party, they throw a party!" Colin whispered in her ear.

Hermione nodded in agreement and smiled as she caught Harry's eye who winked at her. Her smile faded suddenly as her eye met Sirius Black's. She had no idea why, but her feeling of apprehension towas him was increasing with every moment that she thought of Ron and his apparent death. She was tempted to go and punch his face but she controlled herself by saying that he did what he could to protect Harry. . . Even if it meant turning Harry into a guilt-ridden alcoholic.

She could make out that her rage was showing on her face by the queer look that Sirius gave her and she immediately burst into a bright smile as he and Harry made their way to her. She wondered if she looked as fake as she felt giving that smile. Of course, she forced herself to see reason, it wasn't his fault. It was nobody's fault and that drove her insane because she couldn't punish any one and that made her more frustrated than ever.

"Wow!" said Harry, looking at her robes, "Not bad, Hermione."

She smiled in thanks as she watched Sirius and Harry exchange greetings with Colin. Sirius gave her that queer expression as he came to giver her a hug. She stiffened and did not respond as his arms came around her, which he noticed and said, "Is something wrong?"

She smiled uncomfortably, hoping that would ease his suspicion, which was now being picked up by Harry who was also looking at her with the same expression. She smiled more and shook her head but backed away from Sirius and pretended to pay attention to Arthur Weasley's speech, as people around laughed.

"So Colin!" said Harry, "How was Azkaban?"

"Like always, worse than hell!" Colin said with a sickened expression, "I still say those Dementors ought to be extinguished with the other ones that turned on us. If one apple is bad, I say all are bad."

Hermione swallowed remembering what Ron told her about being attacked. Aware that Sirius was observing her rather keenly. She tried to avoid his gaze as she asked Colin to get her something to drink, which he willingly left for. Harry put his arm around her and she relaxed involuntarily as she leaned into his shoulder listening to Arthur.

"Look at the twins," laughed Harry all of a sudden, alerting both hers and Sirius' attention towards the identical Weasley boys with their respective wives. They seemed rather fidgety as Harry said, "I hope they aren't being delayed for any prank. I suppose it does kill them to be serious."

Hermione didn't say anything, remembering their expressions for a year after Ron's death. Serious was not even close to describing an expression where it seemed as though they could never smile again.

"Hermione?" Sirius broke into her thoughts, "Are you okay?"

She glanced at him, trying not to glare, looking back at Arthur she said, "Just a little sleepy. I have been sleeping all day and I don't think it's enough."

"Why?" said Harry, in a teasing tone, "Busy last night?"

You have no idea, she thought and shook her head, lying, "I realized that sleeping is quite a pleasurable experience."

"Finally!" Harry hugged her to his side, "Hermione understands the benefit of rest. Looks like Arthur's victory isn't all we have to celebrate about!"

Hermione laughed, hoping her laugh didn't sound too fake as she glanced at Sirius who looked like he didn't believe her. She gave him an intense stare and looked away, wondering why she was overreacting so much and tried to focus on Arthur as he gave Molly a kiss.

"...and finally," he said, "I know how much we all are impatient to eat and I have two like-faced, like-minded, like-appetit-ed boys on stage to prove it..."

Every one laughed as the twins pointed to themselves with mock expressions that said, 'who-me?', Arthur nodded in falsetto as Molly patted his arm indicating to their audience, he smiled and continued, "...yes dear. Now you all know who runs the ministry of the Minster of Magic..."

More laughter, and she smiled as Harry and Sirius roared their bodies shaking as Molly smiled, rolling her eyes.

"...I would like to mention a special someone who isn't with us tonight...." She saw his expression fade into sadness as all the Weasleys on stage became serious, particularly the twins. Hermione turned to watch Sirius' expression as she felt Harry's arm tense around her.

"...as you all know, my youngest son Ron, who is no longer with us...I...I wish now, more than any other moment, that he could be here with me. Because without him my joy is incomplete. I'd just like to pretend for a moment that his spirit is with us now, which it probably is, and he is here somewhere cheering for me. I would like you all to know that my son is as much a part of my victory as a part of me, because he had inspired me by just being my son for the short time he was with me. So this toast, which my friends and family here have raised for me, I raise it to him also. To Ron."

She saw Sirius's expression flinch for a minute, and then return to an expression that ordinarily would have qualified as sad had one not known the truth. He bent his head and turned to look at her and Harry, and smiled encouragingly as those people with glasses filled with wine raised them in honour of Ron, whom they thought to be dead...and whom she knew was alive. She felt sick all of a sudden, and looked away. She could see from the corner of her eye that Sirius raised his glass slowly.

That was too much for her to take.

She gave a snort of disgust which was loud enough for both men to hear as she broke away from Harry and went towards the bar where Colin had managed to get two glasses of white wine and was headed in her direction. She grabbed the glass and gulped it quickly aware of the gasp of shock that he had let.

When she was done with it, feeling even sicker as the dizziness shot into her head, she gave the glass to Colin and sat on the high chair.

"Wow!" Colin said, looking in disbelief at the glass she had just drained, "You certainly were thirsty."

Hermione nodded, looking at Harry and Sirius who were coming towards her. Sirius looking a little surprised and Harry looking worried.

She didn't have to deal with this now, she told herself.

"Hermione?" Harry asked, "Are you okay?"

"I'mfine." She mumbled and looked at Colin, who was looking between her, Harry and Sirius with a confused expression on his face.

"No, you're not," Harry whispered, aware of Colin who was mumbling something to a confused Sirius, "But we'll discuss this later."

"You know?" Colin said as levelly as his could, "I think I will go and wish Arthur..." He handed her his glass of wine and made a hasty exit, leaving her with Sirius and Harry. She gave a plain expression to Sirius and then without thinking put the glass to her lips and drained.

She slammed the glass on the counter aware of Harry's rather surprised expression and Sirius' obvious confusion.

"All right, Granger." Sirius said good-naturedly, which she found revolting, "Out with it."

"What?" she said nonchalantly and tried to steady her reeling head. Drinking wine that fast was clearly not a wise decision.

"What's been bothering you?" Harry said, "Is this about Ron?"

"Isn't everything?" she said, casting a glance at Sirius who shifted uncomfortably.

"If it is, then why are you shooting daggers at Sirius?"

I have my reasons, she thought, but vehemently said, "I am not shooting daggers at Sirius."

"Hermione...?" Harry put his hand on her shoulder and she looked at him, "Let it go."

"Let what go, Harry?"

"Him...You can't hold on to him forever, you know."

Hermione chortled sarcastically, "Like I don't know that."

"Look..." Sirius began to say, "I know it's painful...but Hermione, we have lost him too."

"Did we now?" she gave him an incredulous expression followed by sarcasm; how dare he have the nerve to say that? How could he say he lost him when he knew Ron was alive?

"What does that mean?" Sirius' expression became cautious and so did Harry's, who was shocked by her actions. She didn't blame him; she too would have been shocked by her bad behaviour. Then she fought with her stubborn tongue not to say anything. First and foremost, Sirius did not put Ron into the Spectres without thinking carefully about it. Secondly, it was Ron's decision and thirdly, no one was at fault; and fourthly if Sirius even so much as suspected she knew about Ron, both she and Ron would be in grave trouble. And she was worried about Ron because she knew that if they demanded of him something so difficult as to break all contacts with family and friends, she knew that they wouldn't forgive him for reestablishing them.

But she still felt apprehension towards Sirius Black.

"What I mean, Sirius," she got off the chair and said as she strode towards the Weasleys, "Is that you've got no business saying that."

She left both men dumbstruck as she headed towards Colin.

Most of the party she spent avoiding Harry's questioning and Sirius trying to approach her and the rest of it she spent wondering if Ron was okay. She debated whether to feign sickness and run out but that would seem too suspicious and suspicion was something she needed to void for Ron's sake. Yet, her nervousness and discomfort grew as she fought away subtle advances from Colin who was trying his best to get her to dance with him. Finally, in a fit of frenzy and desperation she dragged him out towards the balcony and said, "Colin...there's something I have to tell you."

"I have something to tell you, too." Colin shifted his weight on his legs, uncomfortably.

Hermione felt guilty about being so rude to him most of the evening so she asked him to go first.

"Hermione," he caught her shoulders, looking intently into her eyes, "I know that you had a really horrible time...your past and everything, I mean..."

Hermione felt like rolling her eyes at the statement. She was sick of hearing it and it seemed to have become a pick-up line for half the men who made advances on her. Yet, she looked straight at him allowing him to continue, "But...I realize that though things may not be easy, you need to move on."

She stayed silent.

"I mean...Look, I know I have been asking you out on a friends-only basis but I would like it to be more than that."

"Colin..." she started to say, feeling worse about what she was going to tell him, especially considering that she was going to lie to him.

"No, look...I know you see me only as a good friend but...I...I love you."

"You what?" She began backing up in alarm.

"I mean...I think you are the most amazing woman any man could have by his side. You're...you're smart and beautiful and I would really love for us to be more than friends."

"Oh God! Colin!" She turned around feeling frustrated that she had ever been, but she couldn't delude Colin any more. She could never consider him more than a good friend because she could never feel for anyone the way she felt for Ron. Now more than ever.

"I am not that bad, am I?" he tried to laugh and she whirled with an expression of disbelief, "Oh no Colin! How can you say that? You are the sweetest person I could know but...Colin...I..."

What could she tell him? She had been telling him she wasn't ready since they knew each other and she suspected he was tired of hearing it, that is why he told her all that. And even if she did, he wouldn't stop pursuing her. He was always a rather recalcitrant type of person, which was why he was excellent for his job, but not for her. So she decided that her original lie would be best to put him off.

"Colin..." she said, as calmly as she could, "This makes what I have to say even more difficult."

"What would that be?" he whispered.

"I thought it was because I wasn't ready, Colin...but that...I don't think it was that."

"What do you mean?"

Forcing all the guilt and ethics down whatever drain she could, Hermione gathered all her pride and threw it away before saying the biggest lie she had ever said, "I...I...met someone."

Colin's expression was heartbreaking and she immediately regretted saying what she did, but there was no turning back now, "I did...I...he's the most amazing person I know...and I guess it sparked off a passion between us."

"A passion?" his tone was hollow. She couldn't bear to see the hurt in his eyes so she looked away and said, "It's not there between us, Colin. I'm sorry. I just...I don't think I could ever look at you as more than a dear friend."

"You're sure?"

She looked at him and nodded with a sigh. She could see the conflict in his eyes as he swelled with whatever little pride she had left him with.

"Oh," he said and smiled bravely, but she could see the disappointment in his eyes, "In that case, Hermione, I am very happy for you."

"Colin, I'm sorry."

"Don't be," he bit back a sob, which she could clearly make out, "I'm not. I am really happy for you, Hermione."

"Colin..."

"Hermione, don't think this changes our friendship, okay? I will still pester you to take breaks from work," he joked.

She laughed half-heartedly and hugged him, "Thank you for being such a good friend."

He hugged her tightly and she could have sworn he took in the scent of her hair before letting her go, "You owe me on that," he joked, "Now let's go and dance like friends, shall we?"

"I'd rather...stay here, if that's okay..."

"No problem," he said, looking rather brave, "I will go and flirt with some drunken women, is that okay with you?"

Hermione smiled and nodded, knowing fully well that he wouldn't do what he just said. She had just ripped out his pride and grated it on the ground and she couldn't help feeling grateful that he still wanted to be her friend. He nodded and sighed before going back into the hall, but not before saying, "I hope he deserves you, Hermione."

Hermione was left feeling miserable and rotten and she whispered into the darkness of the balcony, "I hope so too."

She stayed for a while in the cool air, trying to calm herself as much as she could. She had moved away from the light, which crept in from inside the hall and into the shadows where no one would see her. She had just about decided to get back to the party and almost stepped into the light when she heard fast footsteps towards the door and involuntarily jerked back. She was about to step forwards when the source of the footsteps strode in and rounded up. She saw that it was a rather annoyed Sirius who went in the direction opposite from hers. He turned facing her and she crept backwards to make certain he wouldn't see her. No sooner had she than someone else came in after him. The new person's robes were rather scruffy and shabby as opposed to Sirius's sleek appearance, but she knew from his face immediately who it was.

Jack Geiger.

Geiger went towards Sirius, who said, "How many times do I have to tell you? I don't want..."

"I know you don't like me contacting you in public, Black, but this is urgent."

And Hermione knew immediately what the subject was. She was able to hear their hushed voices from where she was so she stayed in her spot as Black nodded impatiently.

"We confirmed all reports, he's gone," Geiger said evenly.

"You're sure?" Black seemed shocked.

"Of course I'm bloody sure, you think I would come and tell you my best man was dead unless I had confirmed it first?"

She saw Sirius slump against the wall of the balcony whispering, "Weasley's dead?"

"No body was found. But, there is no sign of him in the dimension. We only found his broken wand. Signs of struggle. We found Raety footprints at the site."

"Other dimensions?" Sirius's voice went so low that she had to strain to hear it.

"No sign." Geiger shook his head, "I double checked with ours. He has not been seen since that night."

"How do you think he died?"

"No idea. I don't even know how no corpse was found, but if he hasn't reported in yet, and believe me, Weasley's the type not to report only if he is dead!"

"But no body was found you say...there's still a possibility..."

"Black!" Geiger exclaimed in a hushed tone, "I am telling you, I think they used a Maut spell, there are sediments of the same poison we found with all other Maut victims. No one can survive that without the antidote. And hell! Those who do know the antidote are not the types to give it away so easily."

"No!" Sirius said suddenly, "Geiger, this is Ron we're talking about. I don't care about you but I have known that kid since he was thirteen. He's stubborn. How many times did we think he was dead and were surprised to find him coming back to us? Until I see a body I won't believe it!"

"Black! I know you liked him. Believe me, I really liked him, too! One of the few people I actually did like in my entire lifetime. But my opinion is that the Raeties took him. I think they could have taken him to the Death Eaters."

"There is no information of Death Eater - Raety association," Sirius argued, "We don't know if they even want to make an alliance with the Death Eaters. You can't be sure until we have a body."

"What if they have already understood it to be Ron? I mean, after all, if the Death Eaters are associating with those freaks it's possible they would have identified Weasley. I am telling you, Sirius, the operative is in danger. We can't exhaust resources on finding his body."

Hermione knew that Geiger only called Sirius by his first name when he was dead serious. Of course, Sirius was no less serious as he hissed, "Geiger! This is not just any public affair I am attending. That kid's father is the Minister of Magic! I have already had to ruin his life once by telling him a fucking lie that his son is dead so we could save everyone's arse. Now you are telling me that I will have to face an already grieving man with the knowledge that his son is actually dead! I have had enough guilt on my sorry arse having to watch him mourn all these fucking years to have the guilt of his son's death on it."

"It's not your fault he's dead!"

"It's my fault he became a Spectre. I have had to see a carefree boy turn into a bigger mess than my godson! I want solid proof of his death, Geiger. Weasley, both father and son have saved your sorry hide for you to even dare to say that you are exhausting resources in finding his body. Do I need to remind you of the time when Arthur stayed your termination?"

Geiger muttered something she didn't understand.

Sirius continued, "Or the countless times Ron came between you and danger?"

"But Black! That's what I mean. Ron is not the type who will wait this long to get information across. He always finds a way."

"All the more reason for you to find his body to prove his death. If information gets into the wrong hands..."

"I know, I know." Geiger seemed to resign, "I need a gopher team to hunt him down, though."

"Use all resources you need." Sirius nodded, "Just find me proof. I cannot let myself believe that the reason my godson is still alive, is dead until I see it myself."

"You're not going to tell the Minister, are you?"

"Of course not, you bastard!" Sirius looked incredulous, "What'll I say, 'Arthur, the good news is that your dead son was actually alive and working for me and the bad news is that now he is actually dead'?"

Geiger shook his head, chuckling, which Sirius did not approve, "Don't laugh, Geiger. Get on your arse and find me some solid proof!"

Geiger muttered something and strode out as she watched Sirius slump again onto the railing of the balcony. In the dim light of the balcony, she could see he suddenly looked ten years older. She watched as he put his head in his hand and shook his head. He wiped his face with his hand and stood straight and for the first time that evening she didn't feel like killing him or hurting him rather seriously; instead she felt like going and telling him that Ron was alive.

She almost did until she remembered that she had better consult Ron first. There was too much at stak. She stepped back and pressed against the wall as Sirius inhaled deeply and walked towards the door. She tensed as he stopped and looked around, as though he sensed her presence but shook his head and walked back inside.

Hermione exhaled the breath of fear that was slowly invading her and stepped into the light of the hall. She had to get home to Ron.

Now.

***

"Ron?" she called out as she bounded up the stairs and burst into her room, "Ron?

He wasn't there. She checked in the bathroom and found him gone. Oh God! He couldn't have left, could he? He promised he wouldn't? Did she put the barrier spell around the house properly?

She opened the door to the bedroom and hurried downstairs calling his name, frantically worried how he could leave.

Wham! She collided onto something hard as she ran towards the drawing room.

"Hermione?" his voice came in her ears as she opened her eyes and found herself in his arms as she practically dangled off him. Feeling if her face was still intact she steadied herself in his arms with his help and caught her breath as she tried to remember exactly what she was going to tell him.

"Hermione?" he waved his hand in front of her eyes and drew her back to some state of comprehension.

"I think you should sit down." He walked her towards the kitchen and pulled a chair for and sat her down. She was still watching him as he drew another chair in front of her and sat. Oh God! He looked stunning in that blue jumper. It brought out the color in his eyes.

"Hermione?"

"Ron!" she exclaimed suddenly, as though it was only now she realized he was in front of her.

"Shh..." he put his hand on her knee to calm her, "I'm here."

"Ron..." she took a deep breath and finally spilled out all the conversation she had heard between Sirius and Geiger.

Ron sat staring at her as though he didn't quite believe all of it, then he suddenl stood up.

"This has gone too far."

"What?" she stood up to look into his eyes as he turned, "I have to go."

"GO?" she felt as though he had just asked her to stop breathing, "Ron! Are you mad? You're still not well!"

"Hermione!" He wheeled, "I don't bloody need to be well to give information. I should have reached them a long time ago."

"But Ron!"

"Look!" he caught her and stared a hole right into her eyes, "The longer I stay down the longer they'll waste their resources in search of me. Do you know what a Gopher team is?"

She shook her head.

"They're the team we send to scavenge for the bodies of dead spies in case we are unable to find any. Highly specialized in retrieving and most prone to death. I can't let them risk more lives for me."

Hermione looked down and said, "I don't think it is a good idea, Ron."

"Hermione..." he caught her face and made her look at him, "There is not a part of me that doesn't want to stay here with you. But the longer I stay here, the more dangerous it becomes. I wish things could have been different."

"Me too." She turned her head, causing him to let his hand drop to her shoulder, "But, you should not be getting back to fighting any Raeties, that is all I know."

"Hermione I..."

"No Ron!" she looked up at him, fighting tears, "Let's not make this anymore difficult. If you want, you can go to Sirius right now. I'll tell you where he lives."

He shook his head, "I have to make sure of something else."

"What?"

He couldn't finish. Their heads jerked towards the banging on Hermione's front door. They looked at each other and for a moment, Hermione was unsure of what to do. Ron motioned towards her cellar and she nodded and went towards the door watching as he slipped into it. She then went out the corridor towards the passage that led to the door which seemed as though the entire army was behind it.

It could only mean one thing. Hermione relaxed as she heard the banging, finding it characteristic to only one person.

Ginny Weasley.