No Other Option

No Other Option

Chapter One - Bittersweet

Forty hours and counting. He had less than forty hours if he wanted to save her. Never in all the years that he had lived and worked at Hogwarts had his lab been in such a state before: large books were opened everywhere, potions ingredients were scattered in a seemingly random manner - although, to his credit, the Potions Master had them exactly where he wanted them to be - and at least six cauldrons were simmering with different attempts to save her life. Amazing how much a person's life could change in little less than a week. To say that Hermione Granger had never been one of his favourite students would be a gross understatement - he had never liked the girl, period. She had always been too much of a nuisance, the living, breathing proof of the "perfection" of Gryffindors. He didn't even know what had annoyed him more about her, that she was an obnoxious know-it-all or the fact that she was one of Potter's sidekicks. After six years, there was no reason why his feelings should change. Then a disgruntled, half-mad Lucius Malfoy had turned up in Hogwarts on the day before the summer holidays, intent on making Severus pay for having betrayed the Dark Lord and, against anything and everything anyone could have ever expected, had lost his pose. Severus had always believed that one of the immutable truths in the world was that, while being a bastard, Lucius Malfoy would always be a cold bastard, a calculating bastard. Veiled threats were his specialty and, when the blow finally landed, it was never traceable back to him. So no one could have anticipated that Lucius Malfoy would draw his wand - and how had he gotten hold of his wand, anyway? - right in the middle of a Hogwarts corridor and attempt to hit Severus with a notoriously dark curse. And he would have succeeded as well, had Miss Granger not suddenly appeared out of nowhere and flung herself between him and the jet of light that had sprung from Lucius' wand. Severus and Lucius had both been stunned, but the Potions Master was the first to recover, disarming the other man with a swift Expelliarmus; Lucius had been hauled back to Azkaban quicker than he had been able to say 'Voldemort', but it was too late for Miss Granger. She had been hit square in the back with a curse that was known to cause complete body failure within seven days. And here he was, five days later, desperate to find a counter-curse, a potion, an anti-charm, anything to save her... anything to not be burdened with the knowledge that someone young, who had never been touched by darkness, had died so that he could live... Especially now that he could no longer spy, was no longer useful... exchanging her life for his was such a waste... Severus shook his head; he had now only thirty-nine hours and a half, he had to make the most out of them.

---

Hermione was in her dormitory, crying silently. She had never thought she would end up like that... that she would die without even having graduated from Hogwarts... that she would die with the harsh words of the very man she had saved still ringing in her ears... when she had seen the scene in the hallway she hadn't even stopped to think, she had just thrown herself in front of the magical jet. Somewhere deep inside her she had thought that the most probable outcome was that she would die, that Lucius Malfoy was probably casting an Avada Kedavra, but the primary thought on her mind had been that Severus had suffered enough, that he deserved a little more time to pursue the life of happiness that had been denied to him for so long... And then there had been another treacherous thought that maybe, just maybe, her feelings for him would be enough to shield them both from the curse.

What she had not anticipated was that she would live another week knowing that her death was certain. After the events in the corridor she had been taken straight to the Headmaster's office where she had witnessed Cornelius Fudge, Pompous Idiot, Supreme Bureaucrat and Utter Fool, rant for twenty full minutes about how it was simply not possible that Lucius had managed to escape on his own, how the whole situation seemed bizarre, and how more likely it was that he had had outside help, all the while casting suspicious glances at Severus. Finally, when it had been impossible to deny it any further, he had grudgingly agreed to take the other man into custody. Which had left only her matter to be solved. Dumbledore had proceeded to inform her, his once twinkling eyes now faded, of the effects of the curse. That it had been conceived as a punishment for suicidal behaviour in ancient China, thus allowing the victim both the longed-for death and the time to regret it. He had also told her that she would not be on the train with the other students the next day; she was to remain in the castle, where himself and Severus would remain as well, trying desperately to find a cure for her curse. She had accepted in the foolish hope that she would get to see more of Severus... that he would treat her differently because she had saved him... How wrong she had been! She had just returned from his laboratory, where she had gone to confess her feelings, but she hadn't even had the courage to begin. As soon as she had stepped foot in the lab he had sent her such a scathing look, so full of hatred and spite, that she was rendered speechless. He, however, had obviously not. His voice was ice cold.

"Did I, by any chance, forget I had sent for you, Miss Granger?" When she hadn't answered he had lowered his tone to a deadly whisper. "Did I?"

"N... no, sir."

"Then what are you doing down here, interrupting me? Why are you here, Miss Granger?"

Because I'm going to die in little more than a day and I wanted to tell you I love you, she wanted to say, but the words refused to come out. Instead she found herself saying "For no reason, sir. Forgive me, I'll be leaving now." Then he had stopped her.

"Miss Granger, if you happened to come down here in hopes of hearing me fall over myself in thank-yous and apologies you have wasted both your time and my own, which is far more valuable. You are to never come down here uninvited again, is that clear?"

She had nodded slowly only to be startled by his enraged shout.

"IS THAT CLEAR, MISS GRANGER???"

"Yes, sir," she had sobbed. Then she had ran away and she was hiding here in her bedroom ever since. Why? Why did he hate her so? She had never believed he liked her, but dislike and hate were a long way away from each other. She had never seen him look with that much hatred at anyone - not even at Sirius Black.

---

He had only twenty-six hours now, and guilt was reigning freely in him. She was going to die because of him, in every possible angle he tried to look at it, that was how it was. She was going to die because she had saved his life, she was going to die because he couldn't find an alternate cure, and she was going to die because of his inability to obtain the key ingredient for the cure he did know. She had come down to speak to him - what about, he didn't know. He had mistreated her obnoxiously when he should have fallen on his knees and begged forgiveness - all because he was nothing more than a coward. All because he had been too afraid to look into her eyes and find the forgiveness he should have been begging. He wanted no more proof of the unfairness of the situation. He had seen her flinch at his look - no doubt she had believed it was aimed at her. It hadn't been. There was no one he had ever known - no Sirius Black, no Voldemort, no one - who was capable of inspiring such hatred in him except himself. Severus loathed himself, and now even more than before.

Finally the owl he had been expecting arrived. His last hope. Her last hope. He opened the parchment with trembling hands.

Dear Professor Snape,

We regret to inform you that we, here at Wing&Ladder, do not stock or sell either the material you requested or any other illegal material. For all your Potions demands that are in accordance with the law, however, please feel free to owl, floo or visit us at any time.

Yours sincerely,

Eugene York

manager of Wing&Ladder

The bastards! 'In accordance with the law'! They traded in almost nothing except Dark Arts material! Oh, Lucius had planned it magnificently, he had to give him that. He had made sure that all the dealers of forbidden or dark ingredients knew exactly where Severus' loyalties lay, that he would have no escape. Only it wasn't him dying, it was Miss Hermione Granger who, despite her many faults, had a brilliant mind and a fair heart. The familiar surge of self-hatred returned. Someone worthy was going to die so that he might live.

---

It was twenty-three hours to deadline when Severus knocked on Albus Dumbledore's door.

"Aah, Severus. How is your research proceeding?"

"Albus, this is no time for platitudes. I have failed. My research is futile at this point, and none of the people I used to purchase illegal items from when I was a Death Eater will sell to me. Lucius saw to it.

Albus seemed absorbed in thought for a moment. Then he spoke, his voice the gravest and most full of sorrow Severus had ever heard.

"Severus, is it truly your wish to save Miss Granger?"

The Potions Master got up so quickly his chair fell backwards with a clang.

"What do you mean, Albus? Of course I wish to save her!"

"Regardless of the cost for you?"

Severus was too hot-headed to understand the implications of what he was being asked.

"Yes, regardless! Have you any doubt that, if my death would save her, I would die? She is dying the death that was meant for me! If there was anything at all I could do to prevent that I would!"

"Calm down, Severus, no one is asking you to die!"

Severus was taken aback by the edge in the elder wizard's voice. Properly subdued, he sat back down and the Headmaster continued.

"The cure you told me about... the one that is dark magic... how many ingredients are you missing?"

"Just one. But it's the key ingredient, Albus, it cannot be replaced by another."

"And that ingredient would be?"

"A mixture of semen with forcefully taken virgin's blood. I suppose I don't need to tell you how."

Silence hung in the room for ten minutes, during which Albus seemed to be getting ready to say something. Finally he spoke.

"Severus, it has come to my attention that Miss Granger is herself a virgin."

Severus was horror-struck. "Albus, what are you suggesting?"

"I am suggesting you save her life. Nothing more and nothing less. I suppose you understand we cannot simply ask her if she agrees to it, or it wouldn't be forcefully taken. I think she would rather live, Severus."

"She's... she's sixteen, Albus!"

"Yes, she is. And she won't live to be seventeen if you don't do this. She will be a dead sixteen year-old tomorrow. We are the only two men in the castle, Severus, and I obviously don't qualify. It has to be you or she dies, there is no other option. You did say regardless of personal cost..."

Severus had never hated Albus Dumbledore before but, at that time, he did. He hated him for telling the truth, for having thought of such vile a path and for sitting there calmly, telling Severus that he would have to be the one to do it. For telling him he thought Miss Granger would prefer it that way. When he got up, his words dripped with venom.

"Yes, of course, Albus. Leave it to the Death Eater to rape the little girl who saved him. How fitting."

He saw Albus getting up and his lips beginning to move, but he left before the older man could utter a sound. He would hear no more.

---

Hermione was still in her bedroom when Dobby appeared. She looked at him fondly. He was still the only house-elf who had ever wanted to be free.

"Miss Hermione, Professor Snape sent Dobby to tell you he is wanting to see you downstairs in his lab. Professor Snape told Dobby to tell you he is wanting to see you now."

Hermione felt a surge of something go through her, but she couldn't tell if it was dread or anticipation. Why did he want to see her? Her scheduled death was in eleven hours, it could be for a number of things. He could want to take another blood sample, or he could want to make his peace with her... he could even have found a cure... She gathered all her courage and willed herself to calm down. All she had to do was go downstairs and she would know.

---

Severus had taken care of everything he could before he had sent Dobby to fetch Miss Granger. He had prepared the potion as far as it would go without its key ingredient and then he had proceeded to taking a bath and putting on fresh clothing. He was determined to make this experience as little unpleasant as it needed to be for Hermione. Being forced to have sex with him was, he was sure, unpleasant enough. Then he had gone to his laboratory to wait.

---

The lab's door was closed, so Hermione knocked timidly. Her Potions Master's voice was terse, but as commanding as always.

"Enter."

She pushed the door slowly open.

"You wanted to see me, sir?"

"I did. Close the door behind you."

Hermione did as she was told and moved a little closer to where he was, her heart beating furiously. Then, without warning, he was upon her, his lips strong and demanding, pressing her between a worktable and his body. It wasn't as she had dreamed it would be - he was being harsh and unyielding, and he hadn't spoken a word - but it was still him kissing her, and she loved him. She tried her best to relax and kissed him back tentatively.

Severus had been prepared for a number of things. He had been prepared for her to scream, to kick, bite or cry; he had been prepared to see the look of hatred and revulsion on her eyes; he had not, however, been prepared to feel her kissing him back. He had not been ready for such a gentle surrender, made all the more bitter because he couldn't take it, he had not been ready to feel her pressing closer to him instead of backing further against the table. And he had most definitely not been ready for what he would feel, knowing she would have freely given him what he had to take by force. For the longing, the yearning, the sheer need to continue feeling her willing arms around him. His eyes stung with unshed tears. But, as he had done all his life, he stomped down his feelings and did as he must, and not as he wished. Getting ready to lose yet another piece of himself in what he hoped would be the final despicable act he would have to commit. He slipped into his Death Eater persona and looked at her as if, in the entire world, he wanted nothing better than to see her suffer. He saw the beginnings of fear in her eyes and knew the battle was half won. Then he gripped her neck with one hand and squeezed hard.

Hermione had never felt such pain in her life. It wasn't his hand cutting off her air supply, and it wasn't the table where it bit so hard into her back - it was the look in her eyes. As if she were a dog he would enjoy kicking, a toy he would revel in crushing. Why did he hate her so? This wasn't the Severus Snape she had fallen in love with, this was someone else entirely. A stranger. She tried to struggle but he was too strong, and all the while her mind kept screaming that this just wasn't right, that he would never do this to her, that he would never do this to anyone. That he wasn't a Death Eater anymore. But the reality of what was happening was undeniable and, as he threw her wand across the room, she wondered how she could have ever fancied herself in love with him. Finally, when she thought she would choke, he let go of her throat and drank something from a vial he took from his pocket. Hermione could no longer control her tears. She could barely see the face of her aggressor between the watery blur in her eyes. Then she felt him lifting her skirt and found the voice to whisper "Please, not like this. Not like this, please. Please."

Severus felt his soul being ripped out of him. He was breaking her, crushing her, and yet he had no choice. He couldn't show her an inch of kindness for fear she would once again agree to give herself to him. He finished the last of his Hardening Potion, grateful that he had thought to brew it. He wouldn't have been able to go through with his task otherwise. Steeling himself, he felt for her underwear and pulled it hard, ripping it. Her sobs grew in intensity until he could no longer shut them out. Then she said her name.

"Severus, please. Don't hurt me. I'll give you what you want, just don't hurt me, please. This isn't you. Please, Severus, this isn't you."

He froze for a full minute, his hand still on her underwear. 'Please, Severus, this isn't you.' Any other person would assume that that was, in fact, his real self, just a step further from the greasy unfair bastard...

Severus freed his erection as fast as he could. He had to do this right now or he would never find the strength to do it. Trying as best as he could not to listen to her pleas he entered her hard and pumped.

Hermione felt herself being torn in two and she cried out in pain. Then, as the pumping continued, the pain became just bearable and she closed her eyes, trying to pretend she was somewhere else, anywhere but here, being raped by the man she had thought she loved. The man who's life she had saved at the cost of her own.

As soon as he thought he had done enough, Severus gulped a Releasing Potion to get it over with. He entered her one last time, shuddering with a release that brought him no pleasure, only guilt. Then he stupefied her.

---

Hermione was still lying limply on the table when Severus finally finished brewing the potion, only two hours before his deadline. Now came the moment he had been dreading the most: waking her up. He brought a vial of the cure to her lips and then whispered "Ennervate".

She opened her eyes in a haze of fear and pain. There he was, towering over her, pressing something to her lips. She didn't know why, but she drank it without question. It didn't matter what he did to her anymore; she would be dead soon, anyway, and, if drinking that potion spared her some pain, she was better for it.

Severus saw that she drank the whole of it before allowing himself to feel relief. He had feared he might have to use the Imperius on her, but it had turned out alright. He met her eyes and handed her her wand, his other hand raised to show he meant no harm. As if she could ever believe that after what he had just done to her. She held his gaze for sometime before taking her wand, confusion mixing slowly with the fear and pain already plastered on her face. Two large tears rolled down her cheeks.

"Why? Why did it have to be like this? I would have given it to you, why this?"

Severus couldn't take it anymore. He wished she had screamed, even hexed him. After what he had put her through, it would be only logical. But there she was, still half-lying on the table where he had taken her, questioning him. He aimed his wand at the door and it opened with an audible click.

"Because it had to be done. Now go! You're free, go. NOW!"

Hermione did as she was told, struggling to understand what had happened. 'Because it had to be done.' He had seemed so different from the man who had just raped her... so like the Severus Snape she had thought she loved... And there had been so much pain in his eyes, such sorrow. And why had he sent her away? She still had an hour and a half to live, she could betray his secret... tell Dumbledore what had happened... had he no fear of that? She turned back, heading once more to the dungeons. She wanted to know why. She needed to know why. She would know why before she died.