They Were WARNED!

today, we're going to write a story about

Oliver Wood

and

Fred Weasley

which begins

in Snape's secret opium den

and concerns

Colin Creevey's camera

courtesy of...Arcly's fanfic plot generator..

http://uk.geocities.com/cakeypoos/ffgen_slash.html

A Fabulous Resource!

"I cannot believe we are doing this, Oliver!" Fred Weasley giggled like a small girl as he ran up the stairs and opened a small door. The door was only two feet high and was labeled, "Do not enter, this is Snape's Secret Opium Den...Anyone who DARE enters will get very high...thus resulting in a state of floating and giddiness, and ending in a state of nausea. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!"

Oliver Wood opened the door and began to wiggle through. Fred started very shortly after, which resulted in Fred's face being wedged firmly between the cheeks of Oliver's bum.

"I kind of like this position, don't you Oliver?" Fred asked in a muffled voice. Oliver, always the erm...slightly more sensible one, pushed himself the rest of the way through and popped out the other end.

Fred, who had been in a wonderful state of euphoria, got very angry, pushed himself the rest of the way through, plopped on his behind and said, sounding like a small girl with a horrible lisp, "Well pith on you then!"

Fred then giggled, reached into his back pocket, and pulled out an enormously large muggle camera. He put the flash up to his eye, took a picture, and sat up, his eyes out of focus, grinning wildly.

"I like the pretty spots... tee hhe tteehhhhe!"

Oliver looked at him strangely, (Who wouldn't?) and began to stuff as much opium into his pockets as possible, his grin getting wider with each handful.

"Fred! Get over you hear you great prat! What the fuck do you think you are doing?! We are sitting in the middle of the biggest drug hoard at Hogwarts, and you sit there with Colin Creevey's camera, ruining your eyesight!" Oliver paused, chest heaving. He had a very distinct Scottish temper. It happened to flare up at moments like these.

Fred giggled again "Now, now Oliver, you know this is not the biggest drug stash at Hogwarts! How could you forget Dumbledore's private storage?!" Fred then proceeded to jump and take a very flattering picture of Oliver's bum. (What picture of Oliver's bum wouldn't be flattering?) Fred seemed to have a strange obsession with it.

Oliver sighed, grabbed Fred's ass, and pulled out another bag to fill with the opium. Meanwhile, Fred, newly rejuvenated by Oliver's..er...work ethic, began to do the same.

******Later, in the Gryffindor common room*****

Oliver and Fred stumbled into the dormitories of the third year boys, swaying and periodically grabbing each other. They were now both giggling like small girls and they were currently extremely high.

Harry poked his head out from between his bed hangings, made a small squeaking noise, and disappeared back between the hangings. Some hurried whispers were heard, then the sound of pants hurriedly being zipped up, and Ron, Harry, Seamus, Dean, and Hermione? emerged. They were all very red and their eyes were oddly bugged out.

Fred and Oliver looked at each, shrugged, and looked back at the boys... and girl. They were very high and therefore they did not understand the situation at hand. (oops)

"Hey guys! Want some...uh what 's this stuff called again?" Fred held up the plastic bag clearly labeled Opium in block letters.

Oliver breathlessly tried to read the words "Op-, wait no, Opyuwum, no wait, I got it! Opium!"

Fred looked at Oliver proudly. "You always were an above-average reader, Ol!" Fred then proceeded to squeeze Oliver's ass repeatedly.

Harry, Ron, Seamus, Dean, and Hermione? looked at each other and shrugged. They then each made a mad dash for the bag. Fred and Oliver gladly handed it over and two minutes later, everybody was high.

"Whoa, you guys, this stuff is like, so great." Hermione? said, sounding very much like a male hippie from the 70's.

The others murmured their agreement. The pretty bunnies hopping around their feet were sooo cute.

Someone conjured up a disco song and everyone began to sway to the music.

Suddenly Hermione? being the liveliest of the bunch, stood up and began to strip down.

"Let's go skinny dipping!" she hollered.

She fumbled with her wand and after a few minutes of strange things popping up-such as giant evil teddy bears, a grand piano, and a fat man singing loudly in his shower ( that was disturbing)- she managed to produce a large swimming pool in the middle of the boys dorm.

Several hours later, after their awful state of nausea (they were WARNED!), they woke up and found themselves naked in a pool, in various states of... um... intimate positions. A scream echoed throughout the school, reverberating off the walls, over the Quidditch pitch, and into Dumbledore's office. Snape and Dumbledore were in there doing something..um..private. Snape had brought some opium, and told Dumbledore about the notable decrease of supplies. In his incomprehensible state of...being high, Dumbledore smiled and nodded in that knowing way that drives everyone insane. There was a twinkle in his eye which always seemed to accompany the knowing smile (although that could have been a result of the drugs), and he returned to his former...preoccupation with Snape.

fin