The Silver Swan

Chapter 14

They let me sleep as long as I could and, when I awoke just before lunchtime I felt, if not refreshed exactly, at least capable of facing the situation in a reasonably rational way. My companions, as usual, had their priorities in order and insisted that I eat before anything else. So we sat round the table and had lunch - ham with scalloped potatoes and peas, why do I remember the menu so clearly? - for all the world as if nothing had happened, except that I caught them looking at me when they thought I wouldn't notice. Worried concern from Hermione, which was no more than I deserved, but from Susan a look hauntingly familiar but one I couldn't place until it suddenly dawned on me that I was looking at myself, that Susan was taking care of me in exactly the same way as I, for so long, had cared for Cho Chang. At that realisation, my hard won composure very nearly broke down, but she saw that too, and reached over to take my hand, and squeezed it hard, almost painfully so. I took a deep breath and looked up at her, drawing strength from her eyes. Finally, I nodded.

"I'll be all right."

As I said it, I knew that it was true. It is, after all, impossible to lie to Susan Bones.

I helped Hermione clear the table and then, over fresh mugs of strong black tea, we finally held a council of war. There was no doubt that this latest development changed everything. Whatever scruples or calculations had prevented Ginny from sharing her suspicions with their allies of the moment in the Ministry, had prevented them all from coming after us, would now be lifted. We could expect to come under attack, and soon. There was more news, as well, that I had been in no shape to absorb the night before, although it became obvious that Hermione and Susan had discussed it at length. Ever tactful, they volunteered a summary.

"When I found Madam Pince yesterday, she was packing her things. She's going into hiding, a lot of them are. It's begun, Padma, open war. Harry and the others are back. They were leading the attack yesterday. I gather it was Harry's idea, actually. He seemed to think he knew where You Know ... where Voldemort was."

She shook her head as she said that, like one whose worst fears have been confirmed. Susan carried on.

"Whatever their plan was, it didn't work. They were ambushed. Cho wasn't the only one hurt. Kingsley Shacklebolt is dead."

Which brought the story back round to us. It was left to me to voice the obvious conclusion.

"If I know Ginny, she'll put their failure down to lack of power. She'll do anything to get more, and now there's nothing holding her back. Even after everything, I don't think Cho would have let her attack us - attack me - but now ..."

Susan put it to Hermione bluntly.

"How much progress have you and Millie made; can you protect us when they come?"

"No, we can't. If they find us we can't fight them all off. Maybe someday ... I really think that there are spells in there more powerful than anything the world has seen for centuries, but even with the new references it will take time to work them out."

There was more bad news.

"Madam Pince guessed we might try the Fidelius charm. She explained the problem to me, but there's nothing we can do about it right now. It requires an incredibly complex ritual and some really rare items..."

Her voice trailed off, and I could feel her frustration at being forced to admit that there was a piece of magic that she couldn't do. Fortunately, there was at least one salve to her ego.

"She was really impressed with the Out of Mind spell from the Codex, though. She said nothing like that had been used for a long time, no one will be expecting it. We can stay hidden if we find a safe place. It can't be here, though."

Susan nodded, taking in the good with the bad.

"All right then, so what we need is more time and a new place to hide. I might be able to get us that."

She thought for a moment, and then looked at me.

"Padma, I'm going to need your help."

Astonishment slowly made way for gratitude. I had, I fear, become resigned to being so much useless baggage in what had from the start been Hermione and Susan's operation. The prospect of serving a purpose once again was an unhoped-for gift.

"Of course. What do you want me to do?"

"We need to contact my aunt, but the Floo network will be watched and we can't risk Hermione Apparating anymore."

I nodded, but without understanding how I was supposed to fit into the picture. Susan went on.

"There's one way we might try, and you're the only one with a chance. Have you ever used Parvati's Orb?"

"No, I never thought I could, but then she seemed to think that I might."

Now Hermione understood too.

"That's right, Padma. Your sister is convinced that if she has the Eye, you must have it too. She and I talked about it just before we left, after I realised ... well ... you know..."

"That she wasn't quite the fool you had always taken her for?"

"Oh Padma, I'm sorry!"

I had to smile at her contrite expression. Just the thought of my sister putting one over on Miss Hermione brightest-witch-of-our-generation Granger was cheering me up at a moment when I would have thought that impossible.

"Don't worry - you're not the first person to underestimate Parvati. She does it on purpose, actually, wretched girl."

Hermione accepted her absolution and went on without missing a beat, for a moment once again the Hermione I remembered from Arithmancy, full of contagious enthusiasm for her latest discovery.

"She explained to me about scrying - it was the first time anything about Divination ever made sense, actually - and an Orb tuned to her might just work for you. It wouldn't for Susan or me - even if we had the Eye, which I certainly don't."

"Nor I. My aunt, on the other hand, can detect if anyone is attempting to observe her, it's part of her job. If you can find her, we'll be able to communicate."

In a matter of moments, we were ready to try. I sat hunched over the Orb, trying desperately to concentrate on what little I remembered of Madam Bones.

Nothing happened.

"Susan, I can't do this. I'm not strong enough, and I don't think I know her well enough to form an image. I need help."

And as I said it, I suddenly knew where help could be found. 'One thing I can almost always see truly ...' Forgetting Madam Bones, for the moment, I concentrated my entire being on finding my sister. Thoughts of Parvati filled me: she and I as children, identical and yet so different; Parvati at school, heartthrob of Gryffindor; beautiful Parvati on the beach in America, fearless Parvati in battle at Malfoy Manor; Parvati who I knew better than anyone in the world. And then, suddenly, she was with me, close enough to touch.

The damned thing actually worked.

I could see her in the Orb, back home in the bedroom we always shared, but more than that I could feel her presence and knew that she could feel mine.

"Padma! What's happening? Are you all right?"

"Yes, I'm fine. I need your help, we all do."

I explained about needing to find Madam Bones, about not being strong enough to do it on my own. She understood at once.

"Maybe if we all work together ... I've heard of this sort of thing, although I don't know anyone who's actually done it. All right, here's what you do. Have Susan come close - it's best if she's actually touching you."

I motioned to Susan to join me.

"Now have her concentrate on her aunt and tell you what she sees in her mind. I can hear it through you."

And so we went, an odd and ungainly three-sided effort, with Susan providing direction and my sister power, while I served as a bond between them and hung on to each for dear life. As Parvati poured more of her strength into our bond I could feel my own mind being sucked outward into a terrifying nothingness. It was very possible the hardest thing I've ever done. I was being pulled apart. The Orb had become a vortex inexorably drawing me in, and only Susan's hand on my shoulder and her voice in my ear, along with Parvati's in my mind, kept me tenuously connected to the world I knew. Even so, it wasn't enough; I could feel myself slipping away. Blindly, I reached out for Hermione. Strictly speaking, she had no role in this, but she understood at once what I needed and she took my hand in both of hers, one more precious link to the world of earth and air and rain, to a world in which getting your homework done still mattered, and the final battle could bloody well wait until the dishes had been dried and put away.

They, all of them together: my sister, my lover, and my friend, they kept me sane and gradually the panic ebbed away. I was able to listen now to what Susan was saying, to hear her speak of her aunt and to transform her words into images, I could feel those images become solid, could feel Parvati pushing us through barriers one after another until we finally found the person we were seeking. An overwhelming feeling of relief washed over me, and I realised that it was Madam Bones' emotions I was experiencing, as well as my own. Each of us, it seemed, was extremely pleased to have finally found the other.

"Susan! Is that you?"

"It's Padma, Madam Bones. Susan is with me."

"Aunt Amelia, I'm here! Can you hear me?"

"Quite well, thank you. No need to shout. Now listen to me, all of you..."

Her voice, distant but clear, was in my mind. I repeated her words so that the others could hear, and a very odd conversation ensued in which I had little part at all save to speak aloud Madam Bones' replies and instructions.

There was, she told us, bitter conflict within the Ministry.

"They're not all ready to follow children, even if Potter is supposed to be some sort of teenaged saviour of the wizarding world."

Enough were convinced, however, to make things very bad indeed. Cornelius Fudge, needless to say, was leading the charge.

"The fools have turned on Dumbledore. Harbouring a known Death Eater, what rot! Potter's egging them on, practically baying for Snape's blood. And he just might have got it if Dumbledore hadn't seen how the wind was blowing. Got all the Hogwarts staff into hiding and sealed the castle. Makes fewer on our side though."

"Aunt Amelia, what about us? What should we do?"

"Yes... you lot. Odd as it may seem, Potter had been protecting you up till now. Wouldn't hear of any move against you - against Miss Granger more to the point - although he seems to think highly of you too for some reason, Miss Patil. (And no, I did not speak that last part aloud...) Won't last though. Now that Ginny Weasley has let the cat out of the bag about the Codex of Nmiuë, the Ministry won't have a choice. They have to have it, willing or not. What about you, can you use it yet? Has Miss Granger found the key?"

"Key, what do you mean? Hermione is working on breaking the encryptions, but it's incredibly complex."

"No! That's hopeless, girl. Even if she can do it, it will take much too long. Somewhere, there is a key. Millicent must have had it."

"She never told me."

"I don't think she knew, Madam Bones. I can still communicate with her spirit, you know, through the Codex, and she hasn't said a word about anything like that."

"She might not know herself. Her grandmother was nothing if not cautious ... paranoid some would say. She would have hidden it, but it must be somewhere Millicent could get to it. An object, perhaps, something she would be certain to have with her. I'm thinking it might have been a test of sorts as well. When Millicent figured it out it would be a sign that she was ready to take full possession, or perhaps it was to come to her at a set moment. We'll never know. Maybe it's just as well."

"In any case, what matters right now is to see you safe. You can't stay where you are."

"We know, Aunt Amelia. We were hoping ..."

"Yes, I can help you, but only if you hurry. Fudge is working up his courage to demand my resignation. I can hold out against that worm for a few more days but there are enough others behind him that soon I won't have a choice. We have to get you settled before then."

"Could we go to Dumbledore, Madam Bones? Surely we'd be safe with him."

Through my link with Madam Bones, I could feel uncertainty and sadness. Clearly Hermione's suggestion, which seemed to me like the obvious answer to our problems, troubled her in ways that she felt reluctant to share.

"That's where I'll be going, but it's probably not a good idea for you, Miss Granger. Albus Dumbledore is the greatest wizard and the finest man I've ever known but he's ... not completely rational where Tom Riddle and Harry Potter are concerned. I don't think we should put this particular temptation into his hands, and we can't have you end up as a pawn in the game he and Fudge are playing. No, you need to be truly hidden - from everyone."

"There is a place I can put you. It's a safe house I set up a long time ago but never had to use. No one knows about it. It's unplottable, I have to give you the location in person and once you change the passwords not even I will be able to get to you. I can't come to get you, though. My movements will be watched. You have to come to me here in London. You can cast charms of disguise on yourselves before you go. Once you are beyond the wards of the cottage, though, you must not use magic of any kind, any kind at all, or they'll be on to you at once."

We arranged to meet in London two days hence, and then Madam Bones dismissed us, after having made sure that we understood how to use Muggle transport and had money to pay for it. Hermione did and had, of course. She would. Before letting me go, Madam Bones had one final warning. Once again, I could feel her hesitate, but this time I sensed it was my feelings she was trying to spare. When she spoke again, I knew at once that her words were for me alone.

"Miss Patil, what you've done here, finding me, it's truly remarkable for one untrained. Thinking to get your sister's help was a stroke of genius. You mustn't do it again however. Don't go looking for her. Links like this can be detected. You'll put yourself in danger, and her as well."

I tried unsuccessfully to hide my disappointment.

"I understand."

"I'm truly sorry, I can imagine it would be a great comfort to you."

Perhaps it was her choice of words; an image of Susan came unbidden into my mind, and as it did, I knew that she could see it as well as I. Through our link I felt her smile, the warming of her eyes.

"So that's how it is, is it?"

My silence, presumably, was answer enough.

"Good for you. Take care of each other, and for Merlin's sake take care of Miss Granger, especially if she does find the key. The Codex will give her power in time, but at first she will be even more vulnerable. Don't let her do anything rash ... I have to go now, this has lasted too long as it is. I'll see you all soon."

I had only to relax my desperate concentration for the presence of Madam Bones to fade away. Letting go of my sister was another matter altogether. I was suddenly assailed with the fear that if I lost her, I would never find my way back, that I would be trapped forever in some ethereal limbo. She sensed this, of course.

"Padma, it's natural to be afraid. This is your first time. You'll be fine, trust me, but you have to let go now. You're exhausted. You'll hurt yourself. You'll hurt both of us. You'll be fine if you let go, Padma. You will be fine."

It was my duty to believe her and so anxiously, reluctantly, I allowed her to withdraw. 'Fine' is a relative term. Parvati's thrice-told assurance kept the worst of the panic at bay, but I still felt lost and, most frightening of all, blind. Neither my newly-awakened Inner Eye nor the two ordinary ones that had served me till then seemed to be working, all of them dazzled by my sister's presence, now abruptly taken from me. I fell back, odd as this may seem, on smells. Hermione smelled of black ink and strong tea, Susan of warm linen and wet grass, and I followed those trails home until I could feel them once again and then hear them and finally see. I collapsed into their arms, limp with exhaustion and relief.

*

* *

They tried to lead me upstairs, but this time I resisted, determined to continue as I had begun.

"I'll be fine. Just let me rest a minute."

Susan nodded and we settled instead on the settee that served as Hermione's bed. Somewhat incoherently, I attempted to share my experience with them, to explain the terrifying void into which I had plunged, and my sightless journey back to them. Hermione, predictably, found it all fascinating. Better yet for my battered pride, she was impressed and didn't mind saying so. I may as well admit it; I basked shamelessly in her praise like Crookshanks by the fire.

Soon enough, though, it was time to move on. Finding the key to which Madam Bones had alluded seemed to us the most urgent task. Susan and I plunged into the new books Hermione had brought from London, while she herself engaged in a silent conversation with whatever echo of Millicent Bulstrode was preserved in the artefact.

As it turned out, the answer wasn't in books. It had been with us all along.

Frustrated by the obscurity of what I was reading - why, just this once, couldn't wizarding authors be straightforward? - I found myself thinking back to my conversation with Madam Bones. Something she would be certain to have with her... It was the portrait, of course; it had to be. I shared this thought with the others and was gratified, I must admit, when both reacted with spontaneous annoyance at not having thought of it first. Susan went upstairs to fetch it out of her trunk.

The portrait showed Millicent much as I remembered her, dressed in school robes with a Slytherin scarf. She was seated at a desk and reading a book which, on closer inspection, turned out to be Quidditch in Bed. I turned to Susan.

"You said the portrait ages along with her. Is she always reading that book?"

"No, that's the first time I've noticed it, actually. The background changes along with her. For a long time, she was outdoors, usually flying."

It was left to Hermione to make the obvious suggestion.

"Why don't we just ask her?"

At this, Susan looked troubled and it occurred to me that never once had I seen her attempt conversation with the portrait.

"Hermione, that's what you've been doing, with the Codex. You said she doesn't know."

"Yes, but the portrait might be different. None of them are her, Susan, not really. They're magical echoes, you know that. There's no reason they would know all of the same things. Look, there's one way to find out."

She looked up at Millicent in the portrait, still reading her book and ignoring us.

"Millicent, do you have the key to the Codex of Nimuë?"

The girl in the picture finally looked up with disdain.

"Took you long enough to ask, didn't it?"

"Will you give it to me, please?"

"No."

"Millicent, I'm the heiress, you have to give me the key."

"Don't have to do a bloody thing, do I?"

Hermione, very near to stamping her feet in frustration, turned to Susan for help, but our friend just shrugged.

"She gets that way sometimes."

How to get her to talk? From some back corner of my mind came a phrase I remembered from a book Hermione had lent me years before, Mingling with Muggles, it was called, A Wizard's Guide to Dealing with the Magically Challenged.

When unsure how to proceed, ask the Muggle how to ask.

I stepped up to the portrait.

"Millicent, please tell us. What do we have do we get the key?"

"Padma, lovely as ever I see. So tell me, has Sue had her wicked way with you yet?"

I felt the heat rise to my cheeks, and knew I was blushing fiercely. It didn't help that I could hear Hermione sniggering in the background. Gathering up the tattered shreds of my dignity, I pressed on.

"The key, Millicent, how do we get it?"

"Can't tell you - or her."

That was clear enough, and it left just one candidate. I turned to Susan.

"It has to be you ... I'm sorry."

Susan nodded and looked up, her face an unreadable mask. When she spoke, her voice was barely above a whisper.

"Millie, please."

Before our eyes, the portrait changed, and Millicent as I had known her was replaced by a younger girl, maybe twelve or thirteen. She was wearing formal robes and held in one hand a quill and in the other a book which we recognised at once as the Codex in its true form. Beside me, I saw Susan nod.

"Her thirteenth birthday, the day she was designated, of course ..."

The girl in the portrait looked out at us and, when she spoke, it was obvious that the words were ritual.

"Susan Bones, do you ask this for yourself?"

"No, it's for the heiress, the true heiress."

"Is the heiress worthy?"

"She is."

"Very well."

Thirteen-year-old Millicent reached out and the quill she had been holding appeared in Susan's hand. Susan turned and gave it to Hermione, now well and truly Mistress of the Codex of Nimuë.

*

* *

Hermione sat at her worktable with the book and the quill, the Codex and its key, clearly uncertain as to how to proceed.

"I'm not sure I should do this right now ... Some of the things I've read ... I think it might be very disorienting at first, like a trance almost. If we really have to move tomorrow, maybe I should wait."

I thought back to Madam Bones' parting advice.

"Hermione, I know we've all been waiting for this, but maybe you're right. Once we get to a safe place, it won't matter. We can look after you."

Hermione nodded, looking distinctly relieved. She put the book and the quill away separately. It really did seem like the wise and cautious thing to do just then. How were we to know?

At the time, we could feel the tension lifting, and were much the happier for it. As I was able to look back more clearly on the events of the afternoon, I realised that they solved a puzzle that had been bothering me for a long time.

"So that's why Susan couldn't be Millicent's heiress."

Susan nodded.

"Yes. I always knew I couldn't be, but they never explained why. It was for this."

"Well, you can be mine, if you like, when it's safe to designate one at all."

"Thank you, Hermione, but I don't think so. By the time you go looking for an heiress, you'll want someone younger."

And then, for the first time since our encounter with the image of the young Millicent, she gave us a playful smile.

"Besides, how do you know I'm a virgin?"

Hermione just rolled her eyes.

*

* *

That night, I could feel Susan awake and restless by my side, although clearly trying not to disturb me. It wasn't hard to guess what was on her mind and, suddenly as I lay there, I realised that we couldn't go on like this. I had to break through her silence.

"It's all right, Susan, I'm awake. You can talk to me."

She turned to face me then, and silently took me into her arms as she did every night, but I knew that, this night, it wasn't enough. I kissed her lightly, but then raised myself up on an elbow and looked down at her.

"I mean it. I'll wait as long as I have to, just like you did for me."

She nodded then, but it was a long time before she spoke.

"Seeing her like that, at that age, it brought back ... a lot of things."

"What was she like then, Susan? What was she really like?"

I was back on familiar ground. Keeping her talking, that was the main thing.

"What was she like ... She was clever and funny and strong ... and lonely and scared. So scared. Scared that she wouldn't live up to her grandmother. Scared that Alden would abandon her to go running after her mother. Scared that the others at school would make fun of her because she wasn't pretty. That's why she was so violent, I think - to hide the fear, to make up for it. She wanted everyone to be afraid of her, but then she hated them for it."

"That's why she liked you. You weren't afraid, I remember your telling me that."

It was the right thing to say. I felt more than heard her give a quiet laugh.

"That was one of the reasons, anyway..."

"At thirteen?!"

"What can I say? I was precocious. And Millie ... she was willing to be taught, let's just leave it at that. Very willing, actually. I stayed at her house the summer after third year. Her mother had left by then, and Alden either didn't know what we were up to or didn't care. He let us sleep in the same room. We pushed the beds together. The House Elves were shocked ..."

"So am I, shocked!"

"Sorry, Padma. The fact is I never much cared for sleeping on my own. That summer just confirmed it."

I couldn't very well object, having recently reached much the same conclusion about myself. Spontaneously, my thoughts turned to Hermione, sleeping downstairs, sleeping alone which, just then, seemed to me like the saddest thing in the world even though it was very much by her own choice. I shared this with Susan, and through the darkness I could feel her smile at my newfound sentimentality.

"She'll be fine, Padma. We're with her, and there will be others soon - although if the Codex affects her like it did Millie's grandmother, she may find that she wants to be alone much of the time."

She laughed again.

"In any case, she's always been more popular than she realised. Millie fancied her rather a lot when we first came to school. I'll bet she doesn't know that."

"I should think not! As far as I know she's convinced that Millicent hated her, at least until we met her with you. Didn't she try to strangle her at least once?"

"Yeah well ... Millie was never very good at showing affection. If Hermione had known though, it was me she should have been worried about. I used to tease Millie about her, but really I was dreadfully jealous. Arithmancy was a bit of a strain at the beginning, let me tell you."

"Poor Hermione! She was so worried about Sirius Black that year. Seems he was the least of her problems. Between you and Cho, it's a wonder she survived long enough to finally meet him."

"Isn't it? Lucky for her, I was a bit distracted. I had a crush in that class too."

"Really! And who, if I may ask?"

"You, silly. Now go to sleep."

Silly Padma again, would I never be rid of her? ... But our ghosts were laid to rest for one more night.

We slept.

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