The Silver Swan

PART TWO: ALL FOR LOVE

Chapter 6

The summer drew to a close, and with it our New England idyll. We brushed the sand out of our clothes and gathered up our souvenirs - in Parvati's case, an impressive collection. The portkey home was without incident, and almost before we knew it we were bidding the turtledoves farewell and good luck as they went off to break it gently to their families. To the Weasleys anyway, as Cho decreed that her mother wasn't ready for this yet. Somewhat to my surprise, Ginny acquiesced, although with a look in her eye that made it clear that this was only temporary.

It seems hard to believe that it was only three days after our return that Cho Chang brought news that would relegate our American holiday to a distant memory from another lifetime. It was almost midnight and I was the only one up, preparing my things to take back to school. Suddenly and entirely without warning, Cho erupted out of our fireplace.

"Padma, you have to come with me! There's been an attack. Death Eaters ... The Weasleys ... Ron is dead, Mr. Weasley too. You have to come, right now. Hurry..."

As she went on in this incessant rattle of disjointed phrases, she was pushing me towards the fireplace. She thrust a pinch of Floo Powder into my hand. "Weasleys' Wizarding Wheezes, that's where you're going. I'm right behind you. Go now!"

Before I had time to think, let alone formulate a coherent question, I was out the other side into a small room. Tall shelves covered three walls, piled high with the Weasley twins' wares. As we came through the fireplace, I saw Ginny seated at a worktable closely flanked by Fred and George. The twins barely nodded to acknowledge our arrival as Ginny stood to reclaim Cho.

Harry was off to the side alone with Hermione, both of them seemingly lost in private grief. They looked up at us, Hermione with what seemed a look of relief, and Harry in frank surprise. Clearly no one had bothered to tell him that I was the one being fetched.

"... Parvati?"

"Padma."

"Oh ..."

Ginny cut him off in a quiet voice that brooked no argument.

"We need her, Harry. Cho needs her and I need Cho."

"Right."

And that seemed to settle it, for them anyway. For my part, I still had no clear notion of what I was supposed to be doing here, in this intimate circle of grief. Except for that one eminently forgettable evening, I barely knew Ron, and I had never even met Mr. Weasley. As for Cho, she and Ginny seemed entirely absorbed in each other. Why on Earth did she, or they, want me?

No explanation was forthcoming. Instead, Ginny went on, her voice barely a whisper but still commanding everyone's attention.

"What do we do now?"

Harry finally came to life, and now anger replaced grief on his face and in his voice.

"I'll tell you what we don't do! We don't just go back home and let them all tell us to stay out of the way. We hit back. We do it ourselves. We do it now."

This met with an instant murmur of approval. Once again, it was Ginny who spoke first: a single word, "Malfoy."

Now the twins, like Harry, looked up with a smouldering fire in their eyes.

"Yes ..."

This had to stop. I couldn't stand not knowing, not understanding this surreal conversation that was going on around me, carried on in cryptic words and burning looks.

"Look, I'm sorry but I have to ask. What exactly is happening? Why am I here?"

Hermione finally came to my rescue. She seemed to shake herself awake.

"Death Eaters attacked the Burrow, Lucius Malfoy and three others. They hoped to catch all of the Weasleys there but most of them were ..."

She interrupted herself and turned to Harry.

"If she's going to be part of this, we have to tell her too."

Ginny answered in his place.

"Yes, of course, Cho can fill her in later, just go on with the story."

And then she turned to me, for the first time betraying a sign of human weakness.

"I'm sorry, Padma, I really should be the one telling you this. I was there. I just can't, ... not yet."

If it was incongruous to be discussing murder in a joke shop, surrounded by trick wands and dubious sweets, no one noticed. Hermione went on.

"Anyway, only Ron and Ginny were there with Mr. and Mrs. Weasley. They had gone to pack up things for school. When the attack came, Ginny was sent back by floo to get the rest of us. Remus and Moody were with us, we managed to drive them off ... but it was to late for Ron and his dad.'

A whisper, almost inaudible,

"I left them there, ... I left them there to die."

"Ginny, no! Don't say that. Don't think that!"

But it was obvious that Hermione's protest went unheard. I looked into Ginny's eyes and saw terrible things. Only revenge would overcome her guilt and self-loathing, and every one of them there was prepared to help her carry it out; every one of us, rather. I was there too. I took a deep breath, as if before a perilous dive.

"I understand. What do you want me to do?"

That sentiment was rewarded by a look of fierce approval from Cho ... and a rather startled expression from Harry, as if he were surprised that I had caught on so quickly. Ginny and the twins just nodded, as if they expected no less. Hermione looked grim.

"We need proof. We have to let the world know what the Malfoys really are."

Now Harry was speaking for himself. His voice thick and ugly with sarcasm

"Wake up, Hermione! What do you want to do? Have him sent to Azkaban again? We all know how long that would last. No, this time we finish it."

The three Weasleys and Cho nodded approval. Hermione, clearly unhappy but unwilling to set herself against them, was grasping at straws.

"What are you suggesting, Harry? We can't just charge into Malfoy Manor. It's bound to be defended. We have no idea how to get in. Do we even know where it is?"

At this one of the twins looked up with a light in his eye. Fred, or was it George, had just had an idea.

"No ... but we know someone who does; someone who knows all about it. Someone who'll do anything for Mr. Harry Potter, sir."

The impression of a simpering house elf was so accurate that even I, who had no idea at first of what he was driving at, recognised it at once. Hermione was aghast.

"George, no!"

But Harry was nodding in approval.

"Yeah ... it's about time he was actually of some use."

"NO! We can't! We can't force him to go against his old masters. It will kill him!"

"Yes we can, Hermione. And who's forcing? I know Dobby, he'll be happy to tell me everything we need to know."

"Even if he is, it isn't right ..."

Ginny intervened with surprising gentleness and, as ever on that night, her word was final.

"Hermione, drop it, please. This isn't the time. Harry's right. He'll help us."

She sat up straighter then, and began issuing marching orders like a red-haired Napoleon.

"Right. Fred, George, you two are the only ones who can apparate. Can you get to Hogsmeade and then into the castle kitchens without being seen?"

"Don't insult us, Gin! We can do it blindfolded."

"Go on, then. Bring him back with you."

If the twins had problems taking perfunctory orders from their baby sister, it didn't show. They went. She turned to the rest of us.

"We don't know how many Death Eaters may be there. We should have more on our side. Who can we trust? Padma, will your sister come?"

"Probably ..."

"Good. Who else? Cho, what about Michael?"

Cho had been taking lessons from my sister. Her answering smile was somewhere between coy and frankly predatory.

"He will if I ask him. How about Dean? He was in the DA too; he can handle himself if it comes to a fight."

Ginny shook her head.

"He's not on the floo network. I wouldn't be able to reach him in time. I'll get Neville and Luna - don't laugh; they were with us at the Ministry. They're tougher than they look. Hermione?"

"OK, if we're really going to do this, we might ask Susan Bones ... it was her family too."

'Yes we're really going to do this, and Susan is a good choice. Harry, how does that sound? Can you think of anyone else?"

"No chance of contacting Bill or Charlie ... ?"

"Not in time, no."

I was startled, then, to hear what seemed like my own voice coming from behind me.

"Fred, George, are you there? I'm looking for my sister."

I turned around and saw my head in the fireplace, swathed in green flames - Parvati, of course.

"I'm here! Come on through."

Her head disappeared for a moment, and then she came stepping out. I noted with shock that she was fully dressed at one in the morning, not only that but wearing black muggle jeans, boots, and a black jumper that I recognized as our father's. She lacked only the knife between her teeth to be the very picture of a Gurkha commando. My sister ... She surveyed the scene and nodded grimly.

"I thought it might be something like this. I woke up and you weren't there. Then I heard on the wireless ..."

Ginny gave an approving nod and a tight-lipped smile. Clearly the Patil sisters were coming up in her estimation that night.

"Padma, Parvati, can you stay here with Cho and wait for the twins? Harry, Hermione, we need to get back to ... to headquarters before we're missed. Cho can explain what I mean. Contact us as soon as they get back."

And with that, the three of them were through the fireplace and away. I looked quizzically at Cho.

"They've gone to the headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix. That's where they were all staying. It's here in London, I think, but unplottable. I've never been there. I think you have to be invited by one of the members of the Order before you can find it, by one of the adults."

She said the last word scornfully, as if it were a mark of shame.

We proceeded to explain our plan to Parvati - what there was of it. In the end, she just nodded again.

"I think I should go home for now. I can cover for you with Mum and Dad and stay ready."

I was alone with Cho Chang then, just like in all of the dreams of my youth, except that this was feeling more like a nightmare with each passing moment.

*

* *

Cho and I sat together in the back room of a joke shop, waiting to go to war. At last I finally understood why I had been summoned. It was for this, so that Cho would not be left alone when all of the others had to go away. Despite everything, I was flattered. I was also terrified and, as I looked at her, it dawned on me that Cho was as well. That realisation changed everything. Suddenly, my own fears were forgotten, or at least hidden behind a new and more pressing need. Taking care of Cho, it was what I did, what I had done for a lifetime - or so it seemed. I did it now without thinking.

"Tell me about the Order of the Phoenix, Cho."

Getting her to talk, that was the main thing.

And talk she did. She told me about the Order, how it had been created by Dumbledore in the first war against Voldemort - she said the name without flinching; I was impressed - and then recalled into existence the previous summer, how the Weasleys had been convinced that it was the best hope in the secret war that was once again underway.

"But now we're not so sure..."

"What do you mean?"

"They're still not doing anything. They're watching and hiding and waiting, but for what? The Death Eaters are still out there, and it's our people who are dying."

I could feel the fear recede, replaced by anger and something very like exaltation.

"That's what we're going to change. We're done with hiding. That's what I did last year. I was afraid. I waited and I hid and I cried, and what did it accomplish? Nothing, nothing at all!"

This wasn't quite how I remembered it, but that didn't seem to matter.

"So what's the answer, Cho?"

"You heard her: we go after them now."

"And that doesn't scare you?"

"I don't know how to explain it, Padma. With her, I'm not afraid."

Knowing Ginny as I had come to, that actually made sense.

"Maybe because she isn't."

"That's part of it. You saw her just now, she's sad and guilty and angry, but she's not afraid, she never is - I'm not sure she knows how to be. There's more than that, though. There's something about her..."

I had to smile.

"That's what she says about you."

"It's true though. She has something ... I don't know ... something special."

"Something I don't."

The words came out before I knew I was saying them. I would have done anything to recall them, afraid to seem jealous - afraid that maybe I really was. Even as I spoke, though, I knew that they were true and, as always when it was just the two of us, Cho understood. She reached for my hand and gave me a small, wistful smile.

"I wish you did, I truly do. It would have made everything so much easier. I know how you feel about me, Padma, I always have. I haven't forgotten what you did for me ... you're here now, aren't you? "

I nodded, not trusting myself to speak. She went on. I knew she would.

"Padma, please understand. What you did for me last year, what you're doing now ... I don't want to need that anymore, and with her, I don't. I'm happy because she's happy. I'm brave because she's brave."

"I know, Cho. I can feel it too. I can feel it through you. It's what I felt this summer when we were all so happy."

Now it was she who nodded, and then smiled.

"I never thanked you properly for giving me away."

"You don't have to. It was the right thing to do. I knew that."

"Yes it was, but still - thank you, Padma."

She kissed me then, and it was sweet and sad, with a hint of what might have been. As she moved away, she caught a flash of silver around my neck, and reached for the swan that was always there, that had been there since my fourteenth birthday.

"Padma, do you want to know a secret?"

"Do I have a choice?"

She smiled.

"No, you don't. When Harry was teaching us Expecto Patronum last year, he told us to concentrate on a happy memory. That's what I thought about. That day, your birthday, when I knew that everything was right between us again."

It hadn't registered until that moment.

"Your Patronus, the swan ..."

"That's right, Padma. You're always with me, you always will be."

It was all I wanted, even then. It was all I had ever wanted. A comfortable silence fell over us; we had said everything that needed saying. Without speaking, we went about preparing for whatever was to come. I had no idea where I was headed, or what I would do when I got there, but at least I knew why I was going. I was serene, happy even, as I trimmed my fingernails almost to the quick and applied three layers of clear varnish, for all the world as if I were preparing to go after the Golden Snitch.

*

* *

The fireplace flared with a green blaze and I looked around, expecting to see the twins. Instead, it was Ginny who stepped through. Instinctively I moved to get up, to let Cho go to her, but she shook her head to wave us back. It was she who came to us, joining us on the old sofa where we had finally settled. Before sitting she looked us over thoughtfully.

"Everything all right?"

We nodded simultaneously, and then smiled at our spontaneous unity. Ginny seemed pleased. She nodded back and then surprised me leaning over and giving me a quick hug. As she held me she whispered a word of thanks into my ear. What could I do? I hugged her back. I was rewarded by a fleeting butterfly kiss on the neck, and then she settled herself on Cho's other side, leaving Our Girl in the middle. I appreciated the gesture, the wordless assurance that she understood, that she would never try to come between Cho and myself. Was it empathy; was it charity? Was it arrogance, knowing that what she had was so much greater? I neither knew nor cared. Cho Chang, needless to say, was in her element. She put an arm around each of us and veritably beamed with joy.

Ginny, I realised, was less pleased, although he problem clearly was not us. She sighed audibly, and Cho turned to her.

"What's wrong?"

"Harry and Hermione - they're building up to a huge row. It's been coming on all day. I can't stop it, so I came here to get away."

I suspected I already knew, but I asked anyway.

"What's their problem?"

"Their problem is that they both miss Ron so much that it's tearing them apart. What they think they're fighting about is whether we should tell Dumbledore or Remus or anybody over eighteen what we're going to do."

That wasn't quite the answer I had expected, but I had to admit that the same thought had occurred to me.

"Well ... shouldn't we?"

She sighed and answered in a patient voice, as if to a rather slow child.

"No Padma, we shouldn't. I hate to say it because she's been my best friend for four years now, but Hermione is wrong about this. What Harry said was right. If we tell anyone, they'll make us stop, and we just have to do this."

She stopped and drew a deep, somewhat shaky breath.

"All right, I just have to do this, and so does Harry. We've lost too much. Harry's parents, Sirius, my Dad and brother, and ... Padma, how much do you know about what happened to me, my first year at school?"

"You were trapped in the Chamber of Secrets. Harry rescued you..."

"That's the part everyone knows. There was more. I was possessed, Padma. I had a diary that year that had once belonged to Tom Riddle - the one who became Lord Voldemort. His mind was still in it, and he gradually took control of mine. At first he just wrote to me; lots of magical diaries do that - Hermione has one. He was Tom, and he was going to be my best friend ever. And then he started telling me things, terrible things, things about me, and the worst of them were true. He told me that I was a silly little girl, that I was making a fool of myself, that Harry would never love me ... and along with all of those truths was one big lie, because he wasn't my friend at all. Oh no, he just needed me for a little while to do things that he couldn't. He needed me to open the Chamber of Secrets, to let out the monster so that it could attack people. And all the time, he was in my mind, and after awhile I couldn't get him out. It was rape what he did to me, Padma; I was eleven years old and he never touched me but it was rape. And then it was over and Harry saved me, except that it wasn't over because, you see, because Tom had been telling the truth. I was a silly little girl - everyone thought so; and I had made a fool of myself - even my father said so; and despite everything, Harry still didn't love me - and he never will."

She finally stopped to catch her breath. Letting go of me, Cho was trying to get both arms around her, but Ginny held her off. She had more to say and she wasn't going to stop now.

"It took years, Padma, years to get him out of my mind, years to make the nightmares go away, years to stop being ashamed of who I was and what I had done. But I'm over that now. I'm not ashamed any more, just angry. I know what I have to do and this is the beginning. We start with Lucius Malfoy. I didn't tell you that part. It was no accident that I had Riddle's diary. Lucius Malfoy planted it on me in Flourish and Blotts before my first year, staged a fight with my Dad and slipped it in with my books when no one was looking. Harry figured it out in the end, but we couldn't do anything about it. We were children ..."

She made that word sound positively obscene.

"... and because we couldn't do anything then, Ron and my father are dead now. But this is where it stops. So do you see, Padma? Harry is basically a jerk who didn't even notice that I spent three years pining away for love of him, and for all that time Hermione was wonderful, but now he's right and she's wrong. That's just how it is."

At last she stopped, and allowed Cho to gather her in and soothe her, but even as she relaxed in her embrace I could feel the waves of tension, of raw, aggressive energy, emanating from her, seeking a target. I remember feeling intensely grateful that it wasn't aimed at me.

*

* *

When the twins finally returned with Dobby the House Elf, they found us playing exploding snap. Ginny was winning.

"I hope you aren't playing for money. She cheats, you know."

"Shut up, George."

Cho dissolved in a fit of giggles - a rare event for her that I attributed to frayed nerves. For my own part, I was too busy staring at the elf of whom I had heard so much but whom I had never actually seen. He seemed to have left behind the pile of knitted hats of which Ginny had once told me, but otherwise his outfit was as described - an eye-crossing assembly of mismatched clothing in colours that clashed so hideously that they were painful to look at.

After the initial exchange with their sister, the twins wasted no time in banter. Fred vanished and was back in a matter of moments followed closely by Harry and Hermione, who came through the fire. I looked at them curiously. If they had had their row, they seemed to have made it up. Both looked grim but determined. At the sight of Harry, Dobby seemed to come to life. He sprang up and ran to him. If Harry hadn't moved nimbly, Dobby would probably have embraced his knees, if not kissed his feet.

"Oh Mr. Harry Potter, sir! Dobby is so happy to be helping! We is brave for him! We is fighting evil dark wizards..."

There was more, much more - I don't have the heart to write it all down. Finally, Harry got him calmed down to the point where it was possible to ask questions and get a sensible response. It was as we had hoped. Not only did he know the true location of Malfoy Manor, he could help us get there. There remained now only to gather our army. Once again, Ginny gave us all instructions. My task was the simplest; Parvati, after all, had already volunteered. Harry was sent to get Neville while Hermione recruited Susan Bones. Ginny took on herself the unenviable task of explaining things to Luna, while Cho set off to employ her wiles on the ever-willing Michael Corner.

*

* *

I would have given a great deal to see the look on Michael's face when Cho Chang burst into his bedroom at four in the morning, but that pleasure, as so many others, was denied me. Instead, I was in our own room, changing into clothing more suitable to my newfound occupation of amateur hit-witch, and having a heart-to-heart talk with my sister.

"You didn't hear about this on the wireless, did you?"

"Well, after a fashion ..."

She glanced in the direction of her crystal orb, which indeed had no wires of any sort.

"You can really do it."

"Yes, Padma, I can really do it. Sybil Trelawney can't predict yesterday's weather, but she was a good teacher. I have the Eye - so do you, if you ever let yourself admit it."

"So you see the future?"

"It's not that simple. The Orb shows me images; it doesn't give explanations. Some are future, some are present ... some are lies."

I knew this, in theory at least. It was one reason I had always hated Divination.

"One thing I can almost always see truly, though."

"What's that?"

"You."

*

* *

When we returned, the recruiting sergeants had done their work. The little room was crowded with our school-mates in various stages of wakefulness. Ginny stood at the head of the group with Cho at her side and slightly behind, like a bodyguard or an avenging angel. I was amused to note that Neville had assumed a similar position with respect to Harry. Michael looked at them all, clearly wishing that he too could be someone's hero and protector, but finding all positions filled. Hermione, Susan and Luna sat quietly together off to one side, and motioned to us to join them. A great pile of fireworks and dungbombs were stacked by the hearth, but the Weasley twins themselves were missing. We soon learned why.

With a loud crack, Fred, George and Dobby reappeared. Like good soldiers, the twins reported to their commander.

"OK, it works. When Dobby is with us, we get through the wards, no problem. We found staging areas for everyone."

Ginny listened gravely, and then turned directly to the elf.

"Dobby, who stays in the house with Lucius Malfoy? Who do we have to worry about?"

"Only the master and the mistress, Missie. And the new elves: wicked bad elves they is, two of them! Fighting elves! Part goblin they is!"

Clearly this was, in his eyes, the ultimate insult. Even so, it didn't sound good. Hermione suddenly inserted herself into the conversation.

"What do we do? We can't harm the elves. We just can't. They're slaves, they don't have a choice!"

With this, a subtle transformation seemed to come over Dobby. He stood up a fraction straighter, and turned to look at Hermione with an affection that was altogether different from his deference to Ginny or the fawning adoration with which he treated Harry.

"Miss Hermione is right. They is not free. But Dobby will tell you a secret. No wizard knows this, not even Master Dumbledore, but Dobby will tell you because you is kind, even if you is foolish."

Even as we waited for whatever this great revelation might be, I had to smile as I thought that this was probably the first time in her life that Hermione had heard those two words applied to her.

Dobby's secret, it turned out, was well worth knowing.

"It is not only the Dementors that flees the Patronus, Miss Hermione."

And with that, we were ready to go.