Revenge Tastes So Sweet

“Detonate…NOW” Fred whispered to his twin brother, George. With the flick of his wand George had caused the dungbomb that was sitting in Ron’s textbook to explode quite violently. Crap flew everywhere, covering their brother’s face, robes, and textbook, not to mention one of his best friends, Hermione, who had been sitting next to him.

“Ugh! Disgusting!” sputtered Ron. He wiped the mess out of his eyes using his shirtsleeve. He looked around to find the troublemakers, but they had fled the scene upon ignition.

“Ron,” said Hermione, “say goodbye to your brothers”

“Why?”

“Because in ten minutes they’re going to be toads”

“Oh, Please do!” said Ron. He had always wanted to seek revenge on his brothers, but he was fearful that he would get another howler from his mother. How he hated those little red envelopes!

Hermione ran up the stairs to the girl’s dormitories. Ron presumed it was to get her wand, but instead she came down with a hairbrush and began to comb the gunk out of her tresses. Just then Ginny came flouncing quite happily down the staircase, but stopped dead in her tracks when she caught sight of Ron and Hermione.

“What happened?” giggled Ginny. Her face was turning pink from laughter.

“Gred and Forge pulled another one of their hilarious pranks.” Fumed Hermione.

“They’re always making fools of us! They have no idea what it feels like to be the laughingstock of Gryffindor house.” Said Ron glumly.

“Maybe they should,” declared Hermione in a triumphant voice,” they deserve to be humiliated at least once in their lives.”

“And we could be the ones to do it! We could play the biggest joke in the history of Hogwarts on Hogwarts biggest jokers! It would be a classic! It’ll be legendary! We’ll do it together! What do you guys say? Are you with me?” declared Ron. He stood up on the couch they were sitting at and raised his crap-covered fist onto the air. “Hermione…? Ginny…?”

“Uh, Ron?” whispered Ginny.

“Yes?” Ron said, looking down at his little sister.

“ We’ll help you, but do us a favor first.”

“What?”

“Sit down, everyone’s staring at you.” He looked around, and everyone was indeed staring. He slowly lowered himself back onto the couch. His face was now just as red as his hair.

“How stupid did I look?” he murmured into Hermione’s ear.

“Very.”

 

“Come on, Ron, just do it!” whispered Hermione harshly. The pair were standing put outside of the kitchen, in front of the not-so-still-life fruit basket. Occasionally the oranges would peel themselves and then in an hour or so, one of the subjects from the neighboring portraits would grab a snack and then be on their way.

“Why can’t you? I always feel like a fool tickling this pear.”

“Because,” she stated rather plainly, “they’re your brothers”

“That’s no excuse—“ he blurted out rather loudly. Hermione slapped a hand over his mouth before he could continue.

“Just shut your gob and do it!”

“Bloody hell! Fine!” Ron rolled his eyes and tickled the pear. It laughed lightheartedly and the portrait swung open.

The trespassers crept without a sound across the tiled floor and over to an elf dressed in the strangest clothes they had ever seen. On his feet were two mismatching socks that could have been pants for the little green fellow. Light blue suspenders held up his mud brown britches, which had a Chudley Cannons tee shirt tucked into them. On his head he wore a tiny, black bolder with holes cut out of the top so that his pointy ears, which were adorned with multiple earrings, could stick out.

“Greetings, friends of Harry Potter!” squeaked the little green fellow.

“Hello, Dobby.” Hermione said politely. She elbowed Ron in the groin. He waved and winced.

“Master Ron!” Dobby squealed,” Dobby is wearing your sock!” he pointed at his right foot and grinned up at Ron.

“Dobby, we were wondering if you could do us a favor,” Hermione said to keep the conversation going in the right direction, “We need some pastries for…for…something we’re doing in Gryffindor tonight. Might you be able to get some for us?”

“Anything for friends of Harry Potter, anything!” he said joyfully as he hurried off to find the sweets. He returned just minutes later with several trays full of teacakes, chocolate truffles, miniature doughnuts, and danishes.

“Thanks, Dobby, that should do it!” sighed Hermione as she took the platters from Dobby’s arms and balanced them on her own. Ron’s mouth watered as he eyed the treats.

“One more thing,” he added, “might you have some—“

“Accio Ron” muttered Hermione and he flew to her heels and out the door.

 

It was about eight o’ clock and most of the Gryffindors were just filing into the common room from dinner. They gasped as they saw the sweets that Ron and Hermione had laid out.

“We just wanted to congratulate the new co-captains of the Gryffindor quidditch team, George and Fred Weasley!” declared Hermione. The twins stepped forwards, both crimson-cheeked.

“You really didn’t have to do this!” gushed Fred. He and his brother walked over to the table, receiving many handshakes and cheers on the way.

“Oh, believe us,” smirked Ron under his breath, “we did.” He patted both of his brothers on the back as he laughed.

“Pastry?” Hermione offered the twins. They each grabbed a handful of the truffles and shoved them into their mouths. Ron and Hermione watched while trying to stifle their laughter. They had skipped dinner to fill the chocolatey treats with the twins’ own canary crème.

“Oh, dear!” Hermione exclaimed,” You two are beginning to look a bit yellow!”

“What do you mean?” both wondered out loud.

“Well,” she handed them a mirror, ”take a look!” They gazed into the mirror to find that their curly, red hair had been replaced with golden feathers. Within seconds they had each sprouted little orange beaks and were chirping instead of speaking.

“That was WONDERFUL!” laughed Ron as he popped several of the delicatessens into his mouth, “Revenge tastes so sweet!”

“RON!” screamed Hermione. Her hands flew to her mouth, and it was apparent that she was holding back giggles.

“Hmm?” Ron mumbled as he chewed.

“Those were the canary crèmes!”