Severus Snape’s Potions Mistake Shock

Love and Peace...And now, back to the story!

Chapter 3: I’m Just A Girl


Professor Snape was at his wits’ end. He’d sent an Owl to one of Slytherin’s Prefects (saying of course that he was ill and could not go himself), giving him permission to have a delightful romp through the library’s restricted section, but the student had come back empty handed, apparently there was nothing there that discussed any sort of potion that could change a person’s gender. “If anything...” Snape thought wryly, “Potter and Weasley have made a rare discovery.”

This did not cheer him up in the slightest.

He was just contemplating that final and hopeless possibility of going to the Dark Arts section, to see if they said anything on potion reversal when there came a knock at his door. Unwilling to repeat the earlier Malfoy fiasco, Snape tensed and sat as quietly as possible, refusing to answer the summons.

Moments later the door opened. That door was locked with a hex, so the only person able to break it would be…

“Dumbledore.” Snape let his breath out with a whoosh.

Showing no surprise at all, Dumbledore took a gratuitous seat in the chair across from the Professor. “You can’t stay here forever Severus,” he said, quite simply.

“I can’t go out there looking like this.”

“You’re very right Severus, you can’t. Lesson number one, the average woman does not wear bed sheets on a regular basis.”

Snape glowered at the Headmaster, but did not protest.

Dumbledore rose and continued, “Madam Pomfrey has sent you all of the things you will need. I have taken the liberty of informing your Potions class that Professor Samantha Teyah will be filling in; there need not be any more spares.”

Snape nodded, and Dumbledore continued, “I assure you, your reputation is hardly at stake. I believe that the students are following some sort of rumor about you having a lady friend.” He rose and began to leave. “And,” he added, almost as an afterthought, “I sent you dinner, along with your new clothes. You’ve been down here for two days now.”

Snape sat down as the bag and tray of food materialized on his table. He ignored the dinner for the moment, and got to work opening the bag. Woman’s robes, simple enough…although they were a dark green as opposed to his preferred black…and…what was this...underwear and...some sort of...restraining device. A pair of cups, attached with a set of triangular straps. What pray tell, was he supposed to do with this?

All right then, a challenge. He was Slytherin after all; a challenge was a test of true cunning and strength.

It took him just under an hour to get the bra on.



This is how Ron Weasley woke up Harry Potter on Wednesday morning to start school. Harry blinked a few times. Something about Professor Snape? Had he fallen asleep in Potions? He sat bolt upright, looked into Ron’s face and screamed.

“Err...sorry.”

“Come on, get out of bed, let’s go have some breakfast. And forget about Professor Snape’s girlfriend. Professor Snape. Hates You. And.Would NOT. Like. You. Stealing. His. Girlfriend.”

“Okay Ron.”

“You are hopeless.”

Ron was wrong, though. In actuality, hopeless was more along the lines of what his day was like. He felt like jumping out the window when he walked in and saw Professor Snape’s girlfriend sitting at the table with the teachers. He felt like banging his head against the wall when Harry in all his chivalrous glory held the door for her as they were leaving. And he was hoping that Bertie Bott made poison flavored beans (with real poison) when Professor Teyah as he found out her name was, showed up to teach Potions instead of Professor Snape.

It was a real relief when Herbology rolled around.


For Draco Malfoy however, it was the best Herbology class he’d ever had. Particularly because he learned absolutely nothing about Herbology. He was writing letters to Professor Teyah...letters that would be signed “H”...for “Harry Potter.” What a blast.

The letter ran something like this:

Dear Professor Teyah:

As I gaze up into your eyes, which are like limpid pools of black ink, I feel nothing but the deepest sorrow. Sorrow that you belong to someone else, and not me. I love you with all my heart, and would do anything to be by your side. Truly, yours is a butt that just won’t quit.

All my love,
Your Secret Admirer; “H”

PS: Your bra is on backwards.

Draco smiled proudly at his letter. He really ought to take up the love business seriously. Quickly, he sealed it, and put a privacy spell on it so that Professor Teyah wouldn’t be able to figure out who’d really written it.

Placing a dramatic hand over his heart, Draco used a transportation spell to send the letter to Snape’s quarters. He’d also added a small charm that would allow the parchment to get there when Teyah did, so that the Professor himself wouldn’t find it.


Naturally, when Snape arrived (or shall we refer to him as Teyah now?) The letter showed up.

“A...love letter?” Snape wasn’t sure whether to be angry or furious.

He tried a spell that would reveal the identity of the sender, but all he got for his troubles was a second note that said, “It’s a secret”. Whomever did this would pay for their crimes, but after he fixed his bra. No wonder it felt uncomfortable.

Ah, a few points off of Gryffindor would do him some good. They were probably the perpetrators...

Another letter appeared at that moment.

“My apologies Severus, but as Professor Teyah is not a proper teacher here at Hogwarts, we have had to revoke your points privileges. Signed, Headmaster Albus Dumbledore”

Could things get...any worse?