Imperfections of Perfection

Added note/disclaimer: I also use quotes from other places. If you find a quote that wasn't cited, please notify me.

"Life, health and hope today

Tomorrow comes grim death's cold bitter blast."

XIII

Ashes to Ashes

Sometimes it amazes me what people think. I don't mean that in a bad way - it's just that many people have a certain mindset... like they already know how a person is going to react. It's like they expect - well, it was like they expected me to throw a huge fit because my best friend happened to like a certain person who happened to be male and bloody Draco Malfoy.

"Ron?" Harry said coming to sit down next to me in the common room with such a serious look on his face I thought someone had died.

"Harry, look I was just going - what's wrong?" I said, interrupting myself in the middle of what I was going to tell him. Something about Quidditch - I can't remember it now...

But that's a different story.

"Nothing," said Harry, looking directly at me. "It's just that..." he paused, looking like he was struggling for words. "I just need to tell you something - and I don't want you to take it the wrong way or anything and - Hermione!"

I was confused for a moment before I noticed Hermione.

"Did you tell him?" Hermione asked Harry.

"I was just about to," said Harry.

It suddenly occurred to me that Hermione and Harry might have something going on between them. I thought that maybe Hermione was about to tell me that she was leaving me. That Harry was going to tell me "Sorry, mate... we just... you know... fell on each other and realized we loved each other. You're nothing."

I know Harry would never say such a thing... but... I felt like he would. I mean, I have nothing and Harry... Harry was everything.

"What's wrong?" I asked again. If they wanted to tell me they were together behind my back, I wanted to get it over quickly so I didn't have to feel it so deeply.

"Well, has Ginny said anything to you?" asked Hermione tentatively.

I wondered now if Ginny had caught them.

"No, she hasn't told me a thing."

"All right then," said Harry, setting his shoulders. "I don't want you to take this the wrong way, but I... er...." Harry faltered, then seemed to get his wind back. "I have a boyfriend."

I stared at him.

"And don't freak out," added Hermione.

"I don't care if you like blokes," I said. "What kind of friend would I be to abandon Harry for something like that? He can't help who he likes!"

I was relieved, to tell you the truth, that Hermione still loved me. That they were only telling me that Harry was going out with a boy. And to tell you the truth, I really don't have a problem with that at all. I'm a wizard not a Muggle. Besides, same-sex relationships are not unnatural. I once knew a guy who had two dogs - both male, and they seemed to have something for each other. The two dogs, I mean - not the man and the dogs...

"So, who's your mystery guy?" I asked, smiling at Harry.

Hermione and Harry exchanged a worried glance. "Don't freak out when you hear who it is," said Hermione.

I immediately felt a little warning bell go off in my head.

"It's..." Harry blushed and then smiled, "I don't know how it happened - I was just..." he ducked his head, studying his hands. "I don't know what I was doing - I just kissed him and then asked him out..."

"So who is this guy that has you like this?" I asked.

Harry looked at me searchingly before he said, "Your sister caught us - she yelled at us that we were poufs and... well, she didn't take it too well."

"It's not...?" I let my question trail off.

"It's Draco Malfoy," said Harry finally, blushing.

I stared at him.

"Ron?" Harry asked me, anxiously.

"I'm going to bed," I said shortly and left. I needed to think. When Harry came up to the dormitory later that night, and whispered my name, I pretended to be asleep, snoring loudly.

I waited and waited.

I don't know if I got any sleep that night as I thought about the fact that my best mate was dating the boy who had always been my worst rival. The one we hated together once.

Then I decided that as long as Malfoy made Harry happy - and I mean happier than he'd been since he killed Voldemort, then I was all for it.

xxx

I got up too early, since I couldn't go back to sleep anyway, so I headed out of the common room and to the kitchens. Of course, in my half-asleep state, I ended up in the Great Hall before having to double on back to the kitchens when I heard it.

Two people were laughing softly, both male. Both spoke far too softly for me to understand what they were saying.

I was about ignore them, thinking they might be lovers coming back from a midnight tryst when I caught sight of that damned white-blonde hair. No one at Hogwarts had that hair. Luna Lovegood came close, but there was only one person that I knew of who had that hair - Draco Malfoy.

I whirled around and headed toward him and whoever he was with. I figured that I'd see if he was cheating on Harry and God help him if he was. God, Merlin, and every other power in the universe help him, because he was going to need it once I got through with him if he was cheating on my best friend.

"So you're enjoying this aren't you?" asked the unfamiliar male. I didn't know who he was. I'd never seen him, but he didn't wear anything to say what House he was from. I assumed, since he looked much older than Malfoy that he was a professor.

"Yes," said Malfoy instantly. "Oh, yes. I'm enjoying it."

"You realize I meant what I said before... about Potter..."

"Harry?" said Malfoy. "Oh, he understands."

"Does he?" asked Malfoy's companion, who I could now see.

"Understands what?" I asked before I could stop myself. Malfoy's gray eyes widened as he looked at me then asked, hesitantly, "Did Harry tell you... about us?"

"He told me you're dating," I said stiffly.

"Oh, that's all right, then," said Malfoy with a sudden smile on his face. I blinked in shock. You see, anyone would be shocked by that smile. Draco Malfoy had a smile most people lose when they're about three years old, if not a little later or sooner depending on how they were raised.

"That," Malfoy said, pointing at the man in front of him, "is my psycho, utterly schizo brother, Ash. Acheron, whatever - it's easier calling him Ash." He grinned at me mischievously. "But only in private."

"Really?" I said looking between him and the man who was apparently Acheron Malfoy. "You don't look anything alike!" Then I noticed Acheron Malfoy's eyes. "Except for the eyes - those are identical."

"It's a mystery," said Malfoy cheerfully, "but it's true. We're brothers and we look nothing alike. I'd say it has something to do with the genes and whatnot."

"The what?" I echoed.

"Never mind. Ask Granger, she'll explain it better than I can," said Malfoy. "So, you're all right with me and Harry?"

"Yes," I said. "On one condition."

Malfoy looked at me questioningly.

"That you make him happy," I said. "God knows he needs someone right now - in the aftermath of this war... make him happy, Malfoy, and I'll be okay with it. If you ever make him unhappy, I'll hurt you."

"I'll try," Malfoy said. I nodded and turned to walk away. I needed breakfast.

"Hey, wait," said Malfoy suddenly. "It's Draco, now..."

I stared at him then slowly let myself smile and said, "And it's Ron, now." I changed the subject. "Do you want some breakfast? I'm headed for the kitchens to get some - you can come, if you want."

Malfoy - because I couldn't make myself think of him as Draco, shook his head. "No. I'm not hungry. I'll eat later." I saw Acheron give his brother a sharp look, gesturing that he come with me.

"I promise I'll eat later. Now I need to go on my run. I'll see you later."

"Draco, wait - you shouldn't be run -" but he was gone and Acheron was left talking to empty space. It didn't occur to me to wonder why Acheron Malfoy looked so depressed... like maybe he felt like he was a failure somehow.

xxx

In the days that followed, Harry, Malfoy, Hermione, and I tried to come up with ways of making Ginny understand. I couldn't believe she was being so homophobic. I don't think anyone who knew about it - nearly all of the Slytherins and Gryffindors, could understand why Ginny didn't like this. Ginny and Seamus, actually. They were the only two who couldn't stand the sight of Harry and Malfoy together.

I finally told Harry, "Well, maybe if you tell how you both feel - separately. He can tell Ginny how he feels about you and you can tell her how you feel about him..."

"I dunno," said Harry, sounding and looking frustrated. "I'll talk to him about it. We need to go to potions at any rate."

"So, I'll see you in Potions?"

Harry nodded at me, giving me a quick smile.

xxx

"Something's wrong," Harry whispered in the next class after Potions, which we didn't have with Draco Malfoy. "Draco almost fainted on the way to Potions today. He said he's fine... but he was really pale." He frowned. "Did he eat lunch - did you see him eat lunch?"

"I wasn't watching him," I said and turned to Hermione. "'Mione?"

"No, I didn't see if he ate or not..." she looked at us with an odd look on her face as she said almost carefully, "He's very thin isn't he, Harry?"

"Yeah, but that's because he runs a lot," said Harry. "He told me he developed that habit when he joined an athletic team in the Muggle school he went to for a year."

"Really? Which sport did he join?" asked Hermione.

"Basketball," said Harry, shrugging. "I reckon he could beat me at those games now."

"What class he's got right now?" I asked curiously.

"Muggle Studies," said Harry smiling. "He's been taking it since third year, he told me."

"Oh, yes," said Hermione. "I remember wondering what on earth was Draco Malfoy doing in my Muggle Studies class. He was the only Slytherin in that class, did you know?"

"No," Harry and I chimed.

"Oh," she said. "I thought I might have mentioned it."

"You didn't," Harry said.

xxx

For a while, everything seemed to be going well. Or at least until Harry was suddenly spending more time with us than with his boyfriend.

"What happened?" I asked finally, when he joined us one evening. "You haven't ended it with Malfoy, have you? I mean you got me more or less accepting him - you can't break -"

"No," said Harry. "He's just really tired tonight. He was falling asleep in my lap. I teased him about it and then sent him off to bed." Harry looked worried for a moment before he added, "Blaise Zabini came up to me during lunch and he says that Draco hasn't woken up to go out for his morning run lately. He's always tired all the time..." Harry sighed. "I hope he's not coming down with something..."

"Maybe he's just tired from his classes," I suggested. Classes were exhausting - though we were barely nearing the Christmas holidays.

"Yes." Harry brightened. "Yes that might be it."

I only barely noticed Hermione's odd expression as she looked at Harry. Later I'd wonder if she knew...

xxx

"You need to come to the infirmary."

Harry, Hermione, and I looked up at Parvati's words. She didn't give us an explanation - she just told us.

"Why?" I finally asked. "What's the matter?"

She hesitated then quietly told us, "It's Malfoy... he went out for a run today and collapsed."

"What!" Harry said as he jumped to his feet. He didn't seem to need another answer, since he was already running out of the Great Hall and toward the infirmary.

xxx

When we got to the infirmary, Harry was already there. He was sitting in a chair next to a white bed.

I stared at Draco Malfoy as he lay in that hospital bed. His eyes were closed and he was so thin even I was worried. He was all bone - there was no fat on him. There was not even an ounce of muscle - skin and bones as my mother would say.

It was weird - I could see how sharp his shoulders looked and he was barely breathing.

"What's wrong with him?" I whispered. Harry shook his head mutely, looking at his boyfriend. I don't know how it must feel to see someone you love so deeply like that. I tried to imagine seeing Hermione like that, and I could feel my heart breaking.

Suddenly, Malfoy stirred on the bed, slowly opening his eyes. He looked at us once then looked back at Hermione.

"I lost control," he whispered to Hermione.

Harry and I looked at each other, bewildered.

"I know," said Hermione quietly. "I'm sorry."

"It's not really your fault," Malfoy - I mean, Draco, said. "It's mine."

Hermione shook her head. "It's not your fault. I swear it isn't."

"Then it was my Father's fault?"

"I don't know," said Hermione. "I don't know. But listen - you need to eat, that's all and you'll be all right."

"I won't," he said. "Ask Harry." He closed his eyes again and we turned to Harry.

"You knew?" Harry asked, staring at Hermione.

"Knew what?" I asked finally.

"That he wasn't eating!" said Harry. "Did you know that he only ate when we nagged at him too much and even then he'd go and throw it up!"

"What?" I said, shocked.

"I didn't know!" said Hermione. "I suspected he might be anorexic bulimic but I didn't know for sure! I just caught him throwing up a few times - it wasn't enough evidence and you wouldn't have believed me anyway."

"Anorexic bulimic?" I echoed.

"Yes," said Harry. His eyes were dry and he seemed strangely calm. "He's really mostly anorexic - he won't eat anything. He's literally starving himself to death. For him binge eating would be eating something. And he makes himself throw up whatever he eats on the rare occasion he does eat, so he doesn't get any nutrients anyway." He turned to look at me in the eyes. "They're going to move him to a Muggle hospital, Ron. Madam Pomfrey said that the best way to deal with it is the Muggle way. Magick can't cure this."

"What's happened?" Hermione asked finally.

"He can't eat anymore," said Harry finally. "He throws it up. That's why Pansy brought him in this morning - she told Madam Pomfrey he was trying to eat, but he just keeps being sick."

"Does he have to be moved to a Muggle hospital?" I asked finally.

"No," said Madam Pomfrey behind me, "but we're going to need someone from the Muggle world that is knowledgeable in both our ways and the Muggle medicines."

We turned to stare at each other and finally Harry said, "Acheron Malfoy - Draco's brother!"

"Good," said Madam Pomfrey. "We need to get Draco Malfoy nutrients and vitamins. He's malnourished - that needs to be fixed immediately..."

"But he'll make it won't he?" asked Harry finally.

Madam Pomfrey looked at us and sighed.

xxx

Draco Malfoy's body had several complications. For one thing, Madam Pomfrey had managed to isolate Draco Malfoy's heart problem - bradycardia. Bradycardia was a dangerously slow heartbeat. And even if he ever managed to pull out of the mess he'd found himself inside, he'd have to deal with the fact that he had a weak heart, Osteoporosis - which was the weakening of his bones, muscle weakness due to what was called muscle atrophy, and transient paralysis. That was what he was dealing with right now. Right now, Draco Malfoy was so weak he could barely move. Madam Pomfrey told us that due to how much muscle he'd lost - how much bone density - all of that, chances were he'd be dependent on other people for the rest of his life. He might never be able to regain the muscle he'd lost.

Madam Pomfrey told us that the morality rate for an anorexic was five to ten percent.

But he was anorexic bulimic, which is the worst of them all.

And in the people with anorexia and bulimia, it was around five to forty percent. It nearly killed me to see Harry's face when Madam Pomfrey told us that. That look was worse than the look on Malfoy's face.

It suddenly occurred to me, sitting there nearly three hours later with Harry, watching as Malfoy slept...

I could die - the war was over, but... death was never over. It was still there. We were still living under the shadow of our mortality...

It occurred to me then, that Draco Malfoy could die... and take Harry along with him.

- Colfax Burgoyne Harman

A/N: All right... I don't know if I did this any justice - the realization that even though the threat of Voldemort's gone, death isn't gone.

Citation/Disclaimer(s)/Reference:

1. All right then - a lot of these complications are caused by the cycle the body goes through trying to supply itself nutrients. We'll talk a little bit more about that later. The complications of this, just so you know, are very real. Or according to my research they are. Most people I know don't think about just what's so bad about anorexia. They just say well, you starve and die. Well, it's not that simple. My idea is that most anorexic and bulimics' deaths are due to the complications that come with the eating disorder. The body is a very complex system. Not eating or not eating properly throws it completely off and then it stops being able to produce certain proteins, the bone marrow's ability to produce RBCs (Red blood cells) goes down causing anemia - and that leads to not enough oxygen in the body since the RBCs are the oxygen-carriers in the body, leading to the exhaustion most anemic people feel (anemia also increases the risk for other illnesses...), and also not eating causes the blood pressure to fall... we'll talk later on about this, otherwise I'm going to go on a rant about it. Oh, yeah - I think the morality rate is still the same. 5 to 10% without bulimia and 5 to 40% with bulimia... In case you didn't know, "morality rate" is the same thing as the "death rate."

And this is where the story gets strange. It's the combo between the "real" scary world and magick.