Lily's Very Buddha-rific Year

December - Have a Very Nepalese Christmas!

December 1, 1977

Great Hall

Dear Diary,

Deck the halls with boughs of holly! Fa la la la la la la - NOT.

The debacle that was last month has naturally left me a little less than festive.

And then going home to Pet and Dad will definitely not cheer me up.

Although if December is just as much a disaster as November was, I might even hug Pet or something.

Later

By the lake

Dear Diary,

Out by myself. I just need to think and breathe and just be by myself.

Oh, no, I see a tall, gangly shadow walking toward me. And from where I'm standing, it looks like he has some very messy hair...

Even later

Gryffindor Seventh-Year Girls' Dormitory

Dear Diary,

Wow. Potter made something better. This is a first. Buddha has disarmed himself.

Potter came and sat by me and said, "So...why is a pretty girl like yourself doing out in the cold by herself?" Instead of sounding piggish, like he usually does, he sounded...charming, I don't know.

Instead of getting defensive, like Buddha would have, I opened up. I told him about the mess with Lis and Sirius, but he'd witnessed that with Pettigrew. But then I even told him about Flora and Timothy and Remus!

Potter took a deep breath and said, "Lily, these aren't your problems."

"I know, I know." I suddenly became aware of how silly this all was. "But I don't want Lis or Remus hurt! I mean, I'm their friend!"

"From what it looks like, it looks like you're their mother." I held my breath. "Being a friend isn't preventing your friends from being hurt, it's being there for them when they are hurt."

I began to walk away. "You don't know the first thing about friendship - you just have Black and your legion of devotees!"

"Lily - come back!"

"No - no no no!"

So I marched up to the dorm to find Ves out, Alice and Rachel off with their blokes, and Lis sitting alone sobbing. And even though I tried to disregard Potter's idea, finding Lis alone made his words echo in my head. "It's being there for them when they are hurt..."

I threw my arms around Lis and cried too.

Lis looked back at me and said, "December is going to be better."

December 2, 1977

Gryffindor Seventh-Year Girls Dormitory

Dear Diary,

In an effort to make December infinitely better than November, Lis and I are throwing a very exclusive December Do on the nineteenth, the last day before Christmas hols.

Already we are dancing with sprigs of holly. Fa la la la la! Damage control is a marvellous thing when it involves the last big bash of the year.

December 4, 1977

Lying in bed

Dear Diary,

Atalanta, my owl, just came with a ltter from Dad, which details just how fab my Christmas hols is going to be:

Dear Lils,

Hey, honey, how's school? Hopefully you're taking everything seriously and working hard, which, knowing you, I know you are.

(As I blow off my Potions essay to read this letter and make an invite list with Lis for our do.)

Just wanted to tell you what's happening for Christmas - we're having the entire family over for Christmas. Even Aunt Marley and Uncle Qing are flying from Bhutan! So you and Pet will have to share a room - and I don't want to hear any buts about it!

Also, our exchange student, Mikhail, couldn't find a visa to get him back into the USSR that didn't involve his memory being erased, so he's staying here for the holidays. (Please mention nothing about that Beatles song - he's very distraught about it!)

Love you, hon, and I can't wait to see you again!

-Dad

Great. Between Larry and Gary, my perpetually hyper cousins, and Mikhail, who can't even speak English properly (probably), this will definitely be a very merry Christmas.

Bah humbug. I should have taken Rom's offer like Flora did. But I am not speaking with Flora at the moment and encountering her could result in something inappropriate for Dora and Dem.

Oh, Lis has finally entered the dormitory - time for invite list-making!

So what are we doing again?

It's easy, Lis. I'll write a name, you write your thoughts, and we decide whether they're invited or not. Then, we switch.

Oh...so you start?

Yes, Lis.

You always start everything!

That's because I always make everything up.

I want to start something for once!

Fine, Lis.

Please?

Hey, I said YES.

Oh - goodie! Let me see...Vesta Casanova!

Well, that's a given.

Well, I figured. So she's invited.

My turn: Emmeline Vance.

After that Halloween do, how could she not be?

Very right, she is the patron saint of partying.

Our Lady Emmeline.

Right then - invited.

All right, my turn again! Flora Randall.

Lis, you do know Flora's dead to me.

Yes, but I still love her, so do the world a favour and give in. Invited.

How is that doing the world a fav -

Invited.

Wait, Lis, I'm still con -

INVITED. Your turn, Lils.

Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew, and James Potter.

Oh, c'mon, Lils, that's four people.

They're really more of a packaged unit - a conglomeration, rather than four individuals.

Okay, well they're invited - despite my "dilemma" with Sirius. Er...who else do we like? Rachel and Alice.

Of course.

Er...Claudius Quirke, your neglected BOYFRIEND, Richard Boot, maybe Amos can pop in, and...Len Macmillan.

Lis! Len's Carrie Bones's boyfriend!

That's exactly why he's invited.

That is awful! No Len Macmillan!

But what about Merl Macmillan?

Fine...what is it with you and the Macmillan boys?

Lily, if I knew, that would kill the mystique.

December 5, 1977

Gryffindor Seventh-Year Girls' Dormitory

Dear Diary,

So the guest list looks a little something like this: Vesta, Flora (who is still dead, in case you were wondering), Claudius the Lovely, Emmeline Vance, the Prat Army, Richard Boot, Amos Diggory, and the Macmillan boys.

This is going to be fab - ohh, boy, this'll be great. I'm just dreading what I'm going home to.

December 8, 1977

Gryffindor Seventh-Year Girls' Dormitory

Dear Diary,

Why is it that all my meetings with Severus leave me emotionally spent?

I was chatting away about the do when Severus asked why he wasn't invited.

"Er," was my intelligent reply. Yes, I could do wonders with Middle East relations.

"You haven't even told them, have you?"

"...Listen, it's just Potions help!"

"You keep saying that, but the truth of the matter is, it's not just Potions help. Forgive me, for I was under the impression that we were...friends."

"Who would you talk to at the do?" I decided to ignore the whole friends thing. "What would Lis say? I mean, it's her party, too -"

Severus tore the Potions book out of my hands. "I was also under the impression that you were strong enough not to care what your empty-headed little friends though. After all, they are all scarlet women."

"Sure, but they're my friends. I love them, scarlet-ness and all." I grasped for the book. "And give me that book back - I was in the middle of something!"

Severus kept it out of reach. "Leave."

"But -"

"I refuse to have anything to do with you anymore - now leave!"

Reluctantly I left, feeling like quite possibly the worst person on the planet. But how could I have known that he wanted to be best friends forever? How would he even know how to act in a best friend situation? I mean, he can't have gone shoe shopping too often.

When I came back, Lis, Rachel McGregor, and Alice Levy were waiting up for me (Ves was out - how typico). "So, Evans, where have you been this evening?" Lis asked.

"Out with Claudius, I already told you." I am the Queen of Liars. That American president, Richard Nixon, kisses my feet on a regular basis.

"Hey, Lily, did Claudius by any chance disappear for a spell during your date?" Alice cheekily asked.

"No, not that I noticed. Why?"

"Well, he dropped by the Common Room looking for you." Alice stuck her tongue out at me. Bloody, slimy idiot! (Claudius, not Alice - I rather like Alice; she's got a fire to her...)

"C'mon, Lils, you can tell us anything," Lis said and squeezed my hand.

"Oh, I can tell you anything? Fine. I've been meeting Severus Snape for over two months."

Lis covered her ears and ran away.

Alice laughed. "So much for that friendly understanding."

December 9, 1977

Great Hall

Dear Diary,

"Why?" Lis keeps droning. "You have the loveliest bloke in all of history as a boyfriend, James Potter is wild about you, and you run around with the Batboy!"

"Lis, please, you don't understand -"

"I mean, honestly! I can't believe the nerve of some people!"

"Lis! Lis, if I can tell you anything, surely you'll let me tell you my side!"

"What, Lily? What could you possibly have to say, hm?"

"We weren't down in dungeons snogging or shagging like rabbits - I was just helping him with a Potions project."

"Well, why didn't you tell me and Ves about it? I mean, if it's not a big deal..."

"Look, you two would have ripped the mickey out of me, let's be honest here. But now he hates me because I didn't invite him to the do, and so really, that's the end of it!"

"Oh my God." Lis covered her mouth. "He loves you. He's disappointed because you don't return his long-neglected ardour."

"His what?" Suddenly, I went numb. But he had been so...nice!

Just then, Freddie Mercury's voice came sailing in from Vesta's wireless. "What is this thing that builds our dreams, yet slips away from us?"

Lis shouted, "Lily Donatella Evans!"

But of course we couldn't resist singing the actual song. Melodramatically we wailed, "Who waaaaaaants to live forever? Who waaaaaaaaaants to live foreeeeeeeever? Ooooooooooh!"

Vesta walked in just then, disgusted. "You two are definitely not Freddie Mercury."

Then, Lis, using her infamous Singleton Distraction Technique, said, "Lily's been shagging Snivellus!"

Instead of defending myself, like I should have, I just said, "It's Severus, Lis."

Ves smirked. "And so the truth comes out."

December 11, 1977

Freezing out by the lake

Dear Diary,

There's no way I'm staying inside the dormitory. Lis keeps insisting that Severus is in love with me, when, really, that's not the case. No one has cared to tell Vesta the real story, so she's expecting me to give birth to a green-eyed, stringy-haired baby any day now. Thankfully Rachel, on the whole, is very quiet, and Alice will only put in some well-timed remarks occasionally. But Lis and Ves are enough to make me want to camp out.

During a Scottish winter.

...Okay, maybe I'd go to the Hog's Head or Josie's and Fabian's or something. Snow would make it awfully difficult to roast marshmallows.

Potter stopped by and said, "Now Lis told us you'd been shagging Severus, but something tells me that's not true."

"That something's right." Potter sat down by me. I looked him in his dumb, honest hazel eyes and began to wail, "Honest, it was Potions help!"

Potter laughed and said, "I believe you, don't worry, Lily. Quite frankly, when it's your word against Lis Singleton's...I trust you."

"How'd everyone else react to my recent sluttery?" I asked him.

"Well, Moony's about ready to come after Sniv - Sev - Snape with a shotgun. He's a bit like your father here, isn't he?"

I thought of my always unavailable dad. It was always work with him, which made me wander down the block to Remus's, and he'd be everything I wanted Dad to be: funny, smart, kind...

"I think he's always been that way for me," I said quietly.

And the two of us sat there just soaking up the moment, and eventually I softly leaned on him and closed my eyes.

Potter then nudged me off and said, "Claudius...if he knew."

I sat up and adjusted my red-and-gold scarf and said, "Yes - wouldn't want people to think the wrong thing, of course."

"But, Lily, I'll clear this whole Snape thing. If people won't listen to you over Lis, they've got to listen to me. Promise."

I smiled and said to myself as he walked off to fix my reputation, "That James Potter...he's a decent guy."

December 13, 1977

Gryffindor Seventh-Year Girls' Dormitory

Dear Diary,

Free at last!

Claudius came to the Common Room to walk around. Alice, saucy minx that she is, said, "Oh, good, she's not out shagging Potions prodigies. Here she is!"

As soon as I walked out, I immediately went into grovel mode. "Now, Claudius, I can explain the whole Severus Snape thing -"

But he made me shut up and said, "Oh, you have nothing to worry about. I mean, I can trust you, and I honestly don't want to become one of those crazy, possessive boyfriends -"

And he went on and on, each word more useless than the next. I swear, I was ready to Cruciate myself. Does he not notice the fact that he is currently exuding litres of unadulterated slime?

" - because, really, Lily, I think our relationship is built on trust -"

"Actually, Claudius," I broke in. Time for the Infamous Evans Control to make a guest appearance. "Our relationship is built on the fact that I thought you were absolutely lovely, although, right now, I can't remember why." Instantly, my mind went to automatic, and I started to run away from Claudius.

"So what is this then? The end?"

I turned around and raised an elegantly thin red eyebrow. "Because therapy could work out how I think you're disgustingly slimy? Unless the therapy involved brainwashing, I don't think so."

Claudius laughed in this silly tone of disbelief. "Good bye, Lily Evans, and good luck."

As soon as he turned the corner, I broke into song again (of course, "In America" from West Side Story). For some reason, I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders.

Beaming, I walked back to the dormitory, absolutely positive I would be breaking out the long-ignored Party Sombrero once I told Lis and Ves.

December 16, 1977

Gryffindor Seventh-Year Girls' Dormitory

Dear Diary,

Already people are bitching about not being invited to the do. Some fourth-year Ravenclaw girl came up to me and asked, "Lily, why wasn't I invited to the do?"

I thought on it for a few seconds. "Well, when push comes to shove, it kind of comes down to the fact that I have no idea who you are."

This is going to be excellent!

December 19, 1977

Just minutes away from the do!

Dear Diary,

Well, of course, Ves, Rachel, and Alice are already here, and the Marauders are off talking to them, being their usual witless, charmless selves, and I must say I love it.

Lis and I are getting extra-ready - I'm wearing a white chiffon frock type thing, and Lis is wearing the same except in light blue. It's taken ages to apply our makeup (we had to skip History of Magic, but I'm sure Binns didn't miss us). First, there was the nine layers of panstick. Then, the light dusting of sparkly eyeshadow, streaks of rouge that Lis says will definitely contour my cheekbones (as if they need contouring - I have lovely cheekbones), and lippy. And then...the debacle that was false eyelashes.

See, the thing with false eyelashes is that they come with a tube of glue. It's like...space glue, the kind Soviet cosmonauts take in space. Once those suckers are glued to your eyelids, they won't come off for sixty-seven weeks. It's scientifically proven and official-looking in orange print on the tube and everything.

So Lis was steadily drawing a line of glue along her eyelashes, very, very carefully...

When Alice burst the dormitory door open and yelled, "Aren't you two ever going to be ready?" which startled Lis and made a mess out of her steady line.

"Lis...whatever you do...keep your eye closed," I told her, whilst waving Alice away. Once I got close enough, I could definitely tell the glue was all over her eyelid. "Okay, Lis, you must keep your eyes closed until I come back with a rag."

Lis nodded, but then Sirius called, "Hey, Lis, come and look at what Pettigrew can do!"

So she stuck her false eyelashes one and opened her eyes and ran towards Sirius. "Coming!"

But I can't dwell on the fact that Lis just might have...

It's time for the do!

Later

Hospital Wing

Dear Diary,

Lis lasted about two minutes in the party before she realised she couldn't close her right eye.

So we moved the party to the Hospital Wing, where, when asked by Madam Pomfrey what was wrong, Lis calmly replied, "My eyyyyye!"

I stepped in. "Well, you see, ma'am, she glued her eye open."

Madam Pomfrey began to div in a monumental manner.

"And how did she do that?"

"She was putting some glue on her eyelids for false eyelashes and ended up gluing the crease of her eyelids."

"All right." Madam Pomfrey drew a deep breath. "Mr. Black," she said to Sirius. "Grab an eye patch for Miss Singleton - we need to keep her eye wet so it doesn't fall out of the socket."

"Ew," said Emmeline.

"I don't want to see it happen either, Miss Vance, that is why Mr. Black will stop going through my personal belongings and bring me a damn eye patch!" Madam Pomfrey screamed. Frightened, Sirius scurried with the patch and Madam Pomfrey snatched it out of his hands.

Lis relaxed once the patch was on her eye, and then Madam Pomfrey brought Lis a potion to drink. "Amazingly enough, someone thought to make a potion to relax glue once it's on skin, you lucky, silly girl."

So while the potion was working its magic on Lis, the rest of us have been dancing and laughing and messing with Madam Pomfrey's personal belongings...

James and I have been having a ball making fun of Flora and Remus's embarrassing prudishness (although if he only knew the truth). James, Sirius, and I even made up a beautiful dance to that "domo arigato" song by Styx. Sirius leaps around and sings, "You're wondering who I am..." and then James and I pop out and go, "Secret, secret! I've got a secret!" and such. I don't know whether they've grown up or I've lost a few thousand brain cells, but I am beginning to feel that the Marauders aren't so bad.

December 20, 1977

Back home again, locked in Pet's and my (!!!) room

Dear Diary,

This is what it must be like when hell freezes over.

I walked in the door, and the first thing that greets me is Gary covered in one of my quilts, saying, "Come to the Dark Side, Luke!"

Before I could say anything, Larry sprung out of the adjacent cupboard with another of my quilts thrown over him like a serape. "You'll never take Princess Leia, Darth Vader!"

"You had better bring her back, or I will blow up Alderaan! What do you say to that, Princess?"

Both Gary and Larry's eyes turned to me. "Let me unpack...?" I shrugged

Pet walked out the hallway holding Larry and Gary's little sister Carrie's hand. "Oh, sorry, Lils. I was playing Star Wars with Larry and Gary, but then Carrie wanted me to play Barbies with her."

Larry and Gary's eyes moved from Pet to me. Pet to me. Pet to me. Finally, Larry laughed at Gary and said, "Hah! You have fallen for the impostor Princess! Now, come, let's go, Princess!" Larry tugged on Pet's arm, who, in turn, tugged on Carrie's arm.

"C'mon, Chewbacca!" Pet said, and then Carrie made this awful screeching noise that sounded like what I'd always expected to hear right before I die.

Merry Christmas to one and all.

Later

Still at home

Dear Diary,

And do not get me started on Mikhail, our Soviet exchange student. How the hell did the USSR let someone come over to the West?

He came out of my (!!!) room and kissed my hand and said, "Hello, I Mikhail Ovlov, pleasure to meeting you," which said it all in my book.

Pet then started giggling and said, "Oh, Mick -" (???) "- it's 'pleasure to meet you', silly!"

"Oh, very sorry, Miss Petunia. I hope I not embarrass you in front of friend -"

"Sister," we said at the same time.

"Oh, sorry again, Miss Petunia."

Then, the two of them went on about the most ridiculous bollocks known to mankind, like the perfect conditions for eating beef (I said that it'd be funny if India was the perfect place to eat beef, but they didn't get it) and their last names backwards (Pet's and mine is Snave, and Mikhail's is Volvo, which made me laugh out loud, no joke.)

Wait until my feminazi aunt and her lama husband come. Then, and only then, will the party start.

December 22, 1977

Lying in MY bed! MINE!

Dear Diary,

I was lying in my light orange satin nightgown casually reading The Feminine Mystique, which was Aunt Marley's Christmas present last year, when Gary, covered in snow, ran into my room and jumped on me. After that, he howled in my ear and screamed, "I'm a snow yeti!" and ran off.

Now I am actually anticipating Aunt Marley and Uncle Qing visiting.

December 23, 1977

Home, sadly

Dear Diary,

Well, Aunt Marley and Uncle Qing are here. Somehow Uncle Qing was granted leave of the lamasery to come and visit us in England. Aunt Marley owed it to the power of karma. I would have owed it to a nice head lama, but maybe I'm just a realist.

So now there is officially no place to hide anymore.

I wonder what everyone else is up to...

December 25, 1977

Christmas, but like it matters anymore...

Dear Diary,

Well, now I know.

Lis sent me an owl with the Obituary section of The Daily Prophet clipped out.

And I saw...

Josephine Berkhardt Prewett, 23.

Found dead on December 24, 1977, of an apparent Killing Curse. The killer is as of yet unknown and being hunt down by Aurors as we speak. She is survived by her parents, Bill and Karen Berkhardt, and her husband of two months, Fabian Prewett, also 23.

Part of me is horrified that anyone would ever want to kill beautiful, fun-loving Josie...and yet another part is amazed that it took so long. I mean, she was a strong Auror who was involved with Fabian Prewett and is close to the biggest traitor the purebloods have ever known, Rom Tonks.

I don't even care that Dad gave Larry and Gary electric lightsabres and they are now whacking me with them and calling me a Sith Lord, or that Aunt Marley and Uncle Qing gave me a book called The Beginner's Guide to Buddhism, which is entirely in Nepalese.

I just feel empty inside.

December 27, 1977

Still at home - meh

Dear Diary,

The Buddhists have left for Nepal.

However, the sprigs are here until after New Year's - luckily, I leave for Hogwarts in two days for the Gryffindor New Year's Day Eve Event.

But if I am called the Commander of the Death Star again, I will be shoving those lightsabres up their...noses. I mean, I am currently experiencing grief and upheaval - the least Aunt Mary could do is teach them manners.

December 30, 1977

Back where I belong!

Dear Diary,

Ahh...nothing could possibly beat Hogwarts in late December. I love it, and I know that this is where I have always belonged all my life.

Not feeling festive, but I must party in a way that only Josie could have and tell her about it at the wake on the second. I know that she would have wanted me to get drunk off my arse.

Oh, the hols!

December 31, 1977

Taking a quick break from the festivities

Dear Diary,

Have been spending the entire evening with Ves, Sirius, and James. We've been having entirely too much fun. We decided, whilst listening to "Dazed and Confused" by Led Zeppelin, that James is the next Jimmy Page, and he says I can be Lori Maddux, who was Jimmy's model/groupie girlfriend. Instead of getting all huffy, I diverted attention from this remark and said that Sirius was completely Robert Plant, which made Sirius howl "Immigrant Song." We all are very grateful to Ves, the Keeper of the Wireless.

James has certainly been paying attention to me, and I can't say I hate it...wonder who I'll be kissing at midnight...