Debris

Debris

            “He’s just lying there...it’s dreadful...not moving...not sleeping...just staring at the wall....” Molly Weasley sniffed loudly. “Please...can’t we just take him? He needs comfort in his mourning; he needs his family...his real family...” She paused, her voice breaking with sobs. “He needs us, Professor Dumbledore. He’s just withering away....I can’t stand to see him like this...”

            Ginny Weasley silently pulled her Extendable Ears from under the closed door of the kitchen at number twelve, Grimmauld Place. She had heard enough. If the Order of the Phoenix wouldn’t help Harry Potter, then she would.

            Ginny knew depression. It haunts her daily now, a lingering pest awaiting orders to inch its way back into her mind for a new infestation. It had taken months to get over the depths of despair Tom Riddle had caused. After many long sleepless nights, her family by her side, she knew she had to accept what had happened to her. If not for herself, then for her mother, father, and brothers. They were always doting over her– the youngest – the only girl. She showed them her strength.

            And now Harry needed strength. Strength to get up out of bed and move on. Ginny knew that leaving him to his own devices was definitely not good. And she also knew that if he didn’t snap out of it soon, the hopelessness would soon envelop and devour him. She couldn’t let that happen, not to Harry or to any other person affected by the twisted, evil, conniving son of a bitch Tom had become. She knew...

            Ginny tiptoed to her room, grabbed her school bag and started packing, a plan slowly shaping in her mind.

*********

            ...Deeper and deeper and deeper still....the light fading quickly as darkness surrounded and encircled him – he struggled frantically to get to the surface. He flayed his arms and legs, their movement a slow, tiring motion, the violent currents throwing him to and fro. He needed air; his chest tightened with the strain of holding his breath for so long. His stomach fluttered with the desperation, the fear, the need to breathe. Hold it longer.... just a little longer.... get back....hurry....reach....yet the light faded completely until there was only darkness....

            Harry Potter’s body shifted in his fitful slumber; his ears sensing a strange sound within his room. His mind and body played tug-of-war with the decision of waking. That is, until he suddenly realized what the strange sound was: a horrible gut wrenching scream. And it was coming from Harry.

            All senses now awake, he closed his mouth. Tiny droplets of sweat dripped from his brow to his eyes. His throat felt raw and dry. Harry wondered how long he had been screaming. It wasn’t the first time he had awoken like that from a nightmare, and Harry was certain it wouldn’t be the last.

            Rolling to his side, he checked the clock on the bedside table, deciding it wasn’t a good time to get out of bed. Really, though. Why did he have to get up?

*********

 

            The day’s light had faded to a dull grey. The sky was patched with clouds, a slight fog encompassing the neighborhood of number twelve, Grimmauld Place. Ginny Weasley had a plan, and there was no better time for it than now.

            With her mother and father out of the house, Ginny and her brother Ron were under the watchful eye of Remus Lupin for the night. This however, for Ginny’s plan, was a good thing. Lupin had shut himself in the library, planning strategic maneuvers for the war; something Ginny knew he did to take his mind off of what happened to Sirius. When Lupin was in this mode, there was no disturbing or distracting him. Better that way, Ginny thought, not wanting her scheme to backfire because of an overly protective werewolf.

            Ron had retired to his room to write to Hermione, and Ginny knew that would keep him occupied for a while. Long enough for her to sneak out, at least.

            She crept down the hall lined with elves heads, taking extreme care to be extra quiet as she passed Mrs. Black’s portrait. She had earlier observed Order members as they secured the front entrance to Grimmauld Place. Ginny broke through the code of complicated locks and stepped out into the dark, damp night.

********

            Harry didn’t move all day. He could feel the abscesses that were forming on his foot and hip as he lay on his side. The severely starched linens rubbed numbingly against his skin. He refused to get out of his bed when his aunt had come in earlier to freshen up the room. He wasn’t even sure he could move, even if he wanted to. His body and mind had decidedly shut down.

            Harry’s gaze shifted from the wall to the window. He watched as another endless night began to fall.

********

            Ginny walked briskly through the unkempt gardens, making distance between herself and Grimmauld Place. She knew that she needed to be far enough from number twelve so as not to attract attention to herself. Three blocks away, Ginny had finally felt confident that she had not been followed. She held out her wand hand and waited impatiently for the Knight Bus to come.

            With little warning, it screeched to a stop, nearly plowing into a light post at the curb. Ginny climbed aboard, pushing aside the conductor.

            “I need to get to Privet Drive, in Little Whinging–“ And with that Ginny toppled backwards over the first of many four poster beds lining the floor of the bus as it nearly flew through the streets.

            “Well, how’d ya get down there?” Stan Shunpike asked as Ginny pulled herself up, holding the bed bolster for balance.

            “Maybe because that driver you’ve got there is a maniac...” Ginny said under her breath as she pulled out her money bag, counting out the correct toll. She handed it to him and took a seat on the bed, her hand gripped tightly on her wand hidden within her robes. It was dangerous for her to have left, and a panic began to brew in the pit of her stomach as she looked out the window. The night life of London whizzed by in a blur of yellow, red, blue and green neon lights.

            The risk she had taken was great, and she was quite sure that when she found her way back to Grimmauld Place, she’d be in a right large amount of trouble. She didn’t care, though. Harry needed help, and she knew that if she enlisted her brothers or Hermione to figure a way to help him, she’d have been patted on the head and told not to worry; Harry’d be okay. Dumbledore would figure something out. Ginny, however, knew that he wouldn’t be okay being left to rot in that retched house on Privet Drive.

*********

            Sirius fell back through the veil again. And again. And again. The memory of it was like a Muggle record album skipping on an incredibly deep scratch; annoying, agonizing. Harry opened his eyes and willed them to stay open to try to keep the nasty, pestering vision away. He clenched his fists moments later when his eyelids strained at the effort of staying open. He unwillingly blinked, fighting back the stinging salt in his eyes and the tightness in his chest.

*********

            The Knight Bus screeched to an abrupt halt at the corner of a dimly lit street. Its sudden, ungracious appearance startling a tabby cat out of a nearby trash bin. Ginny gathered up her things and stepped off the bus as quickly as she could. Before she could turn around and thank the driver, the bus was gone with a gust of wind.

            Ginny ran for cover under a low branched tree, not wanting to be seen. Making sure the coast was clear, she removed her cloak and stuffed it in her bag. She did not want to alert the security Aurors set around Privet Drive. If they knew that she was there, they’d surely figure to send her away.

            Dressed in Hermione’s Muggle clothing, Ginny hitched her bag on to her back and headed up the drive, paranoia settling fiercely in her gut. She turned her head briskly to the left and right as she looked for number four. She desperately tried to calm her nerves as she walked past abnormally perfect lawns and gardens. She knew she was being watched by an Auror; it was their job after all.

            The brilliant plan she had concocted seemed to be losing its cleverness as recollection of the night at the Ministry of Magic reminded her of the fierceness of the hooded Death Eaters that could very well be lurking around Privet Drive. Ginny and her family were warned heavily about staying indoors as much as possible after that night for their ‘own protection.’ Her mum was more than willing to comply and rarely let Ginny and Ron outside. Now she knew why. It was downright dangerous.

            Number four, number four.....there it was! Finally! Ginny exhaled and hurried her pace across the road. When she reached the front walk of the perfectly kept house however, invisible hands grasped her mouth and waist, dragging her into the dark shade of a hydrangea bush.

            “Ginny! What the hell are you doing?” Nymphadora Tonks’s muffled voice whispered loudly from mid air.

            Ginny held back a yelp as Tonks covered her with an invisibility cloak. They huddled there for a moment as Ginny prepared herself for an explanation.

            “I um...well....I heard how he has been....just lying in bed.....and I thought I could ....just you know....” Ginny stumbled over her words, wondering how she’d get herself out of this one.

            “I had to do...something. I couldn’t just sit around waiting for someone to finally step up and do it. He needs to get up. If he doesn’t....” Ginny’s voice caught and she looked down, pushing the fear away. “Tonks,” Ginny said, “ Something needs to be done.”

            Tonks’s anger faded from her face and her grip on Ginny’s arm loosened. “I know, I know.” She paused for a moment and bit her lip, looked around her shoulder to make sure they hadn’t been heard. “I can’t just let you walk up to the house and go and see him. It’s just not right....” Ginny gave Tonks her most innocent pleading face and saw her melt as she looked up to Harry’s dimly lit window. “Your mother is going to kill me when she finds out I let you do this.” Tonks cursed herself and Ginny smiled. She knew the young Auror had a soft spot when it came to Harry. “How do you expect to get in the house then? Those Muggles are not about to just let you in and walk up to his room.”

            “Why not? I’m a convincing Muggle,” She said and pointed out her smart outfit. Tonks gave her an approving nod as she looked over Ginny’s attire.

            “I’ll cover your back....but hurry, Ginny. I’m sure someone’ll realize you’re gone any minute now.”

            Ginny pulled the invisibility cloak off and hastened up the walk of number four, glancing back to the spot Tonks should have been. “Go on, then...” Tonks whispered loudly as Ginny’s hand hesitated above the doorbell. She took a deep breath and pushed.

**********

            Harry heard the doorbell ring downstairs and closed his eyes, silently hoping it wasn’t Remus Lupin again. He had come nearly every day since Harry had been back at Privet Drive, checking on him, poking and prodding his mind. Harry wouldn’t talk, he wouldn’t. Not yet. It’s too soon.

             The last time Remus had come, Harry stole a glance at him and had to bite his lip to stop a complete and utter breakdown. Lupin’s eyes were bloodshot and swollen, his gaunt face unable to hide the suffering Sirius’s death had caused..... the death Harry had caused. The pain in Lupin was unbearable for Harry to see...and Harry sent him away as quickly as he could. He couldn’t imagine what Lupin was going through, losing his best mate once again. Harry tried to picture his life without Ron or Hermione in it. No....please no, I’ve already lost Sirius, not them too. Just the image of his friends being gone was enough for Harry to slump even further within himself, begging his brain to stop flashing the pictures of their demise. Imagination is an ingenious, great, horrid, terrible thing....

**********

            “Vernon, dear...Oh my goodness! Look at this lovely young lady come to call!” Petunia Dursley’s voice rung from the front door. “Oh, Vernon, hurry now! How are you, dear? We weren’t expecting someone so lovely to call on our boy!” she said as her face swelled into a smile that Ginny thought might break the older woman’s face in two.

             Ginny was practically yanked inside by Mrs. Dursley’s bony grasp on her hand. She hadn’t even introduced herself yet. She didn’t know what all the fuss was about.... Harry’s Muggle relatives....they seemed okay to her.

            “Sweetie, you have a friend calling....” Mrs. Dursley called up the steps.

            Vernon Dursley came into the hall. He held out a beefy hand and Ginny shook it. “Ah..yes. Such a polite thing. Forgive me, sweetheart, but I must have forgotten your name.” He smiled just as widely as his wife as he and Mrs. Dursley nudged Ginny to the sitting room, beckoning her to the sofa.

            “Ginny....Ginny Weasley,” Ginny said precariously as she looked to each of them. Their faces fell at once. A hush fell over the room as Vernon Dursley’s face turned violet, Petunias grey.

            “You mean....you...you’re not....Jennette?” Mrs. Dursley’s face dropped.

            “No. Sorry. Um...Is Harry here?”

            “Weasley....You’re one of those.....those foul redheads.....Oh my lord...oh, Vernon, not again......” Mrs. Weasley looked as if she might faint.

            Just then Dudley Dursley came pounding down the steps. He stopped at the edge of the sofa just as Ginny stood, her anger flaring.

            “Look, I just came here to see Harry. I didn’t come to be insulted...” Ginny said, her head held high. She put her hands on her hips, making sure the Dursleys could see her wand sticking out of her pocket as she glared at them.

            At once they huddled together and sprinted to the door, Mr. Dursley muttering, “go...get some...ice cream....”

            Ginny heard Mrs. Dursley’s muffled cries and Dudley’s whining as a car door slammed shut. A squeal of tires on pavement, and they were gone.

            Odd Muggles, Ginny thought as she looked around the abnormally spotless first floor of number four. She recognized at once a door, approximately a meter in height underneath the staircase. The infamous cupboard under the stairs. She had to take a look....just a brief peek...

            The knob turned easily in her hand. She had to bend considerably to peer inside. A cloud of dust tickled Ginny’s nose as spiders and other nasty bugs busily rustled about, a sight that would make Ron run for his dear life. The tiny space could barely fit a kneazle, let alone a person, Ginny thought, tears welling from dust and disgust.

            She stood and closed the door quickly, pushing down the pity she felt for Harry. He didn’t need pity; he needed to get up and out of that bed. Ginny straightened her self, pushed the heels of her hands into her eyes to stop the tingling of tears, and headed forcefully up the stairs above the cupboard. 

*********

            The door opened and shut quietly, to Harry’s displeasure. He would have welcomed an insult from Dudley or Uncle Vernon right now, but he knew they wouldn’t have taken care to close the door so softly. It had to be Lupin.... Harry kept his back to the door, his gaze at the window, the slight moon dipping a faint light in to his room. He sighed as he heard the chair near his desk being pulled out.

            “Listen, Remus, I thought I made myself clear...” Harry said quietly as he pulled at the hem of his linens to cover himself more. “I’m just not ready to talk....it’s too soon....”

            “Well, Harry, I don’t care. You need to talk...and you need to get out of that damn bed.” Ginny Weasley’s firm voice filled the room.

            Harry turned at once and saw a glimmer of red hair sitting in his chair at his desk. “Ginny.....What the hell are you doing here?” Harry said as he tried to push himself up against the headboard, his muscles failing miserably. He settled back on his pillow, waiting impatiently for her answer.

            “I could ask you the same question,” Ginny said as she leaned forward into the stream of light from the window. Her eyes flared at Harry as he lay weak in his bed.

            Harry knew where this was going. He did NOT need this. “What do you think I’m doing here? I live here,” he said sarcastically, his anger bubbling to the surface. “Shouldn’t you be at home? Your mum’s going to freak when she finds out you.....”

            “NO, Harry...this isn’t about me. It’s about you. What you’re doing to yourself. I’ve heard what’s been happening....and I’m not going to let you pine away holed up in this stinking room all summer....” she wrinkled her nose. “It really does stink, Harry...” She said as she rose and went to the window and pulled it open, a faint breeze filling the room. Harry shivered and pulled his covers up over his shoulders.

            “Pine away, really, Ginny. You’ve got to get your facts straight,” Harry said. He needed her OUT. He didn’t have the energy to put up with her ridiculous chatter. He knew what she was playing at, and he didn’t want it, didn’t need it.

            “Okay, Harry. So what are you doing then, exactly? Mum’s been beside herself ever since she had guard duty night before last.... Lupin comes home and cries, Harry...he actually cries....when you won’t speak with him.” Ginny’s voice hitched and broke as she turned to Hedwig’s cage and started cleaning it up.

            Harry’s heart fell to his knees. He had made Remus cry. And poor Mrs. Weasley....she didn’t need the extra worry. But, WAIT....Harry’s insides turned as he realized Ginny’s ploy. She was trying to get to him. He wouldn’t let her, though.

            “I know what you’re doing, Ginny. And I’m fine, really. I just need to rest.” Harry felt his stomach tying in knots. She was trying to get him to talk and it was peeving him to no end. He could feel the anger and the fear and the fury stirring within him.

            “No, you are NOT fine, Harry. You need to figure this out. You need to talk about Sirius....”

            “Don’t say his name,” Harry said, his voice low, his entire body shaking at the sound of his godfather’s name.

            “Whose name?” Ginny taunted. “Oh, you mean Sirius?”

            “Shut up...”

            “What, Harry? It’s just a name.”

            “Shut up, Ginny...”

            “No, Harry. You need to talk about Sirius.”

            “I SAID... DON’T. SAY. HIS. NAME!” Harry screamed and grasped the nearest thing he could, throwing it. The alarm clock hit the wall centimeters from where Ginny was standing. Her eyes blinked at Harry’s rage but she did not recoil. She would not stand down.

            Harry could feel sweat drip down his back as panic and anger rose. He could feel every smothering emotion surface as he grabbed his lamp and threw it at the wall, watching Ginny’s non flinching expression as the lamp fell to meet his clock. Why wasn’t she leaving? She’s just standing there....

            “Are you going to leave, or am I going to have aim a little better?” Harry asked in a low quiet voice. He could feel energy and adrenalin from his fury build as she crossed the room and slowly, carefully sat next to him on the bed. She wouldn’t back down....She won’t leave me be....

            “You can take your best shot, Harry. I’m not going to leave,” Ginny said. Harry instinctively rose, his languid body protesting as he backed into the corner of the room like a caged animal. His mind bordered on madness as he glared around, frantically searching for an escape from her torture.

            “Please don’t do this to me, Ginny....please....” His breathing was fast and erratic, his panic and terror evident. He crouched down and put his head in between his knees to try to stop himself from hyperventilating. His head felt heavy and dizzy from the sudden effort of getting up. Just leave me be. Why couldn’t she just leave...me....be?

            “Harry. Please talk to me. You need to.....”

            “What the hell do you know, Ginny?” Harry spat from his corner. “Do you know? Do you really know, Ginny? Do you know that I am a complete an utter fool....I fell right into his trap! I endangered and psychologically damaged my best friends, I was possessed by the modern day devil, AND....get this....” He laughed manically, deliriously. “I killed my godfather! All on the same night!” Harry’s breathing was fast and erratic, his eyes popping from his skull. A shaking hand reached up and frantically raked through his hair. His knees began to quiver in his crouched position, his body and mind defeated. He turned his helpless gaze to Ginny and pleaded silently to her with a painful stare.

            Ginny slowly walked to the corner and sat in front of him, her determination never wavering. Harry looked down at his knees to avoid the guilt and pain he felt from seeing the tears on her cheeks. Another horrible thing I’ve done....

            “Harry...Harry, look at me...”

            “No.”

            “Do it.”

            “Why?”

            “Because I said so,” Ginny said and Harry looked up. He couldn’t help but be reminded of the forcefulness of Mrs. Weasley’s voice as he looked warily into Ginny’s persistent face.

            “Harry, I’m not going to pretend like I know how you feel. Bloody hell, I don’t think anyone could really know. But I do know this....If you keep doing this...” she gestured around the room with her hand, “....This wallowing rubbish to yourself, you might do something... something you might regret.” She paused, looking him square in the face. “I might not know how you feel but I do know how it feels to be completely and utterly helpless .... to.... situations,” she said and looked down to her lap.

            Harry watched as Ginny struggled with herself and was amazed at the inner strength she possessed. He knew from talking to Ron that Ginny had a hard time recovering from the power Tom Riddle had on her, but he never knew it had been this bad. Had she felt the same helplessness Harry had been contending with since Sirius fell through the Veil? The horrid tightness in the chest? The constant pull on the heart? Had she felt that? And then, all at once, Harry knew that she had. She laid her trembling hand on his and Harry chanced looking, really looking into her eyes. He saw it. The pain. The suffering. The fragility. The helplessness he had felt as he mourned for Sirius.

            Harry’s frenzied breathing slowed as he turned his hand over and gave Ginny’s a slight squeeze. Her eyes brightened immediately and she squeezed back. They looked at each other for what seemed like hours, in a completely comfortable silence. Finally, Ginny rose and gave Harry’s hand a little pull.

            “Come on.”

            “What?”

            “Come on.” She pulled again and Harry reluctantly pushed himself from the floor. As he did this, however, his lack of food and movement over the last couple of weeks came flooding through his body and he had to steady himself on Ginny so as not to fall. She firmly wrapped her arm around Harry’s frail waist and led him out of the room and down the hall.

             She led Harry to the bathroom, taking care not to rush his weakened body. Harry was disconcerted with the fact that little Ginny Weasley could support all of his weight. The depreciated state of his body was grateful, none the less. She sat him down on the edge of the bathtub and Harry looked up at her with tired eyes.

            “What are we doing in here?” he asked.

            “Well, Harry, now don’t get mad at me...but....you’ve really let yourself go. I’m going to clean you up...” She said matter of fact.

            “Hold on now.... you’re, what?” Harry felt his face get warm as he looked from the shower to Ginny nervously.

            “Oh! No, Harry. I might be bold, but I’m not that bold. Stay put. I’ll be right back.” She smiled and left the room. She returned with Harry’s desk chair and set it in front of the sink.

            “Okay, now sit,” she said. Harry got up and nearly fell back into the tub. His vision blurred from another wave of dizziness and Ginny caught his arm just before he knocked his head on the ceramic tile. She steadied him once again and led him to the chair. He sat with his back to the sink and slumped in the chair, his bony knees protruding through the holes in his dingy jeans. Harry looked up at Ginny as she bustled around the bathroom, gathering soap and shampoo and towels.

            “Really, Ginny. I can do this myself...” Harry said as he tried to rise from the chair. The dizziness returned immediately and he sat back down, a bit disgusted with himself.

            Ginny turned and gave him a nasty smirk. “Sure, you get in that shower and fall over from exhaustion. Yeah, I’d really let you do that,” she said sarcastically as she tilted his head into the sink and turned on the tap. She let the water run for several minutes, testing it every once in a while until satisfied of its temperature. Harry looked up at her with tired eyes and resigned to her kindness. She delicately removed his glasses and he closed his eyes as the warm water flowed over his hair. Harry exhaled deeply at the pleasant tingle on his head. He had forgotten how nice getting clean felt, especially after being exceptionally dirty. Ginny’s hands worked in small circles, gently massaging the shampoo into Harry’s hair and scalp. He felt the tense knots in his neck and shoulders relax as Ginny scrubbed and scrubbed. He opened his eyes and smiled. Ginny’s dedication to cleanse every single strand of hair was completely.... well he didn’t know what it was. All he knew was that it felt nice to have someone wash his hair for him. Her eyes squinted as she rubbed a particularly ratty knot of hair near his neck under his right ear. She leaned in closer to make sure she had detangled it and Harry unsuccessfully fought back a chuckle.

            “What?” Ginny said, looking from his neck to his eyes.

            “Nothing...It’s just funny...I think you’ve cleaned that spot thoroughly.” Harry laughed again.

            “Well no one else has done this for a while. It’s a complete bird’s nest,” she teased as her finger stuck in yet another knot on the top of Harry’s head.

            “Ouch!”

            “You see? You’ll be thanking me when I’m through. Honestly, Harry. You could give Lee Jordan a run for his money with these dreadlocks...” Ginny scoffed and shook her head.

            Harry smiled at her and closed his eyes once again, reveling in the calming circular motions of Ginny’s hands in his hair. He could feel the last cluster of rigid muscle unwind from his neck as her massaging reached the spot just below his hairline. Ginny seemed to take extra long rubbing there and Harry opened his eyes to see that she had flushed a bit and seemed sort of distracted. Her eyes were far away and unfocused. He glanced down and saw the Muggle t-shirt she had on was sprayed with water. Harry closed his eyes, feeling his own face redden. He willed his stomach to stop doing back flips. After all, this was just Ginny. Little Ginny Weasley. Little Ginny Weasley caring so much for him that she had risked her life to come to Privet Drive of all places to....wash his hair? No. Not just that, he thought. She’s worried about me. Yet another person I’ll have to care about. Why did they care so much?

“What was that, Harry?” Ginny asked.

            Harry was unaware that he had voiced his thoughts. She gave him a quizzical look as he racked his brain for what to say without looking like a total idiot. He resigned to tell the truth as a lie seemed too tiresome.

            “Why are you here, Ginny? What made you think you had to...come here and....” Harry struggled with the words. He wasn’t quite sure what to say, how to thank her for being so open and nice and comforting and so...so amazingly...

            Harry exhaled and looked straight into her eyes, “To come here and....be here?”

            Ginny pulled her eyes from his and edged Harry’s head back under the tap to rinse the lather, taking a good long time working her fingers through his hair. She turned off the tap, bowed her head and let out a deep sigh. She stayed like this for a long moment until her head rose slowly. She met her eyes with his. “Harry, I’m going to be completely honest, and I don’t want you to feel strange about this or anything...but, I... care about you.” Harry tried to protest and she quieted him with a finger to her lips. He grumbled incoherently and let her continue. “I know you don’t like anyone doting over you or anything like that but you’re going to just have to face the fact that people like you, Harry. Ron, Hermione, my mum, Lupin, Dumbledore ....me....we all just....care. I don’t know why, we just do.”

            Harry shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He didn’t like hearing all of this. He didn’t want them to care. He just wanted them to leave him alone. He didn’t want to feel the way he was forced to feel about all of them. His life was complicated enough with the prophesy. All of these wonderful friends loved him for who he was. Harry. Just Harry. Not a savior or a hero or the infamous boy who lived. Just Harry.

            Every ounce of strength he reserved to fight these emotions had failed as he looked into Ginny’s concerned eyes. He saw just how much she really did care and he couldn’t take the pain hitching in his chest any longer. He sat up straight in the chair and grasped the towel she was using to dry his hair. He buried his face into it, waves of tears and unabashed wailing burst forth from deep within him. He couldn’t stop, and when he felt Ginny’s comforting hands upon his shoulders, the uncontrollable choking increased tenfold. He couldn’t help it, and Ginny pulled him into an embrace as if she knew exactly how he felt. Letting it all go, he removed the towel from his face and saw that Ginny had been crying for...or.... with him. He wasn’t sure and he didn’t care. He laced his arms hungrily around her and buried his face into her chest, not caring about anything at all except releasing his terror and frustration and pain.

            After a long while, Harry’s suffocating slowly subsided and his breathing steadied. Feeling better than he had in a month, he removed his tear-stained face from Ginny’s shirt and gave her a small watery smile. Ginny sniffled and smiled back, her eyes red and swollen.

            “Ginny,” Harry said in a raspy whisper, “I...I’m sorry. I suppose I just....needed to...um...”

            “Harry, bloody hell, don’t apologize. Don’t EVER feel bad for showing your emotions.” Ginny sniffed loudly again and gave Harry an annoyed look. “I don’t see why every male on the face of the earth has this insane obsession with keeping all of their feelings tightly wrapped within their robes.” She unconsciously swiped at the webs of tears that had tracked down her face. Harry caught her by the wrist, startling her. He loosened his grip and set her hands to her sides. He reached for her face and with great care, gently wiped away her tears with his thumbs.

            Ginny smiled a watery smile; her face rosy and flushed. She pulled away from him and started drying his shaggy wet hair again. She hung up the towel and made for the door. Harry grabbed her wrist again.

            “Where are you going?” He said, his face as scared as a lost child, afraid to be alone.

            “Don’t worry, I’ll be right back.” She pecked his cheek reassuringly and walked down the hall.

            Harry brought his hand to his face. He rubbed the spot where Ginny had kissed and wondered why her touch was making him feel lightheaded and pleasantly queasy. He had known her for years and had never felt anything like this about her before. I’m tired, he assured himself and slumped back into the chair once again.

            Ginny returned to the bathroom with a comb and a small plate covered with a cloth napkin. She set the plate in Harry’s lap and his stomach growled at the scent billowing from underneath the covering. He pulled it slowly away to reveal a sizable helping of Mrs. Weasley’s treacle tart. He grabbed it with his hands, not caring about manners or etiquette or anything but the wonderful taste of real food.

            Ginny laughed as Harry moaned his appraisal of the tart. She worked her comb through his hair. He had let it grow longer than usual and Ginny smiled as Harry dodged the tickle of the comb on his neck. Even with the added length and Ginny’s careful combing, Harry’s hair still seemed messy and misbehaved. She sighed at it and looked down to Harry’s empty plate.

            “Really, Harry. You’re turning in to Ron....I’ve never seen anyone eat so fast.” She laughed and Harry smiled, licking the crumbs from his lips.

            She helped him out of the chair and Harry saw his reflection in the mirror above the sink. His pale, sallow reflection scared him. He finally realized why everyone was so worried about him. He looked like hell. He rubbed his hands over his face, his fingers lingering over his scar. It seemed to stand out a bit more since that night at the Department of Mysteries and he turned back to Ginny before the memories resurfaced once again.

            She led him back to his room and guided his fatigued body back to the bed. She ruffled around in his trunk for a while and retrieved a clean pair of jeans and a t-shirt. She set them on the bed and looked down at him.

            “Do you need....um...help with these or can I....um....” She blushed again. Harry was taken aback by her offer. Harry’s face got hot, his eyes widening with surprise. The thought of Ginny helping him dress was outrageous; yet Harry was strangely impressed with the boldness of her offer. His shook his head quickly and she made her way silently across the room.

            “I’m going to go down and try to find you some more to eat.” He nodded as she shut the door.

*********

 

            Ginny leaned against the door and let out the breath she was holding. She took a few gulps of air to calm herself down. She had to stop letting Harry do this to her. It was madness. She was breaking every promise she had made to herself over the last year. She had finally gotten over the silly crush she had had for so long and now all of those childish insecurities decided to poke at her once again as she brought Harry back to a conscious state. Why, damn it? She didn’t need the extra burden weighing her down. It was hard enough to get him talking and out of bed. Now she had to deal with the loops her stomach made when she remembered the way his hair felt while she washed it....the piercing stare he gave that seemed to reach her soul...the loving way he brushed her tears from her face...NO GINNY...pull yourself together...

            She made her way down the steps of number four, Privet Drive and turned past the cupboard under the stairs to find Tonks smirking at her from a chair at the kitchen table.

            “What?” Ginny asked defensively as Tonks’s eyes glimmered and gave her a wink.

            “Oh, it’s nothing, really.” Tonks leaned back and propped her feet on the table top. She crossed her arms over her chest and grinned. “It’s just that you’ve done the very thing that Remus and Dumbledore have been trying to do for a month and it only took you...” She glanced at her watch. “Two hours! Ginny, two hours and you’ve got him moving around! I was a bit worried when I heard things crashing around up there, but you did it!” She gave Ginny her greatest smile. Ginny made her way to the refrigerator and rummaged around in it, hiding the blush Tonks’s praise had caused.

            “But, wait a minute,” Tonks said and Ginny turned to see a mischievous grin curling on the Auror’s lips. “What exactly did you do up there? I mean two hours, Ginny. I could’ve stirred something in him if I was given two hours!” Tonks winked again and laughed at Ginny’s horrified glare. Ginny felt her face redden brighter than ever before and Tonks giggled with delight at making her blush.

            “It’s nothing like that,” Ginny spat. Ginny knew she was kidding but still felt strange because Tonks’s insinuation was exactly what Ginny had been daydreaming about only moments ago.

            “I know, I know...” Tonks said and apologized as Ginny set the makings of a sandwich on the table. She started cutting meat and vegetables while Tonks played with the kitchen appliances.

            Ginny looked up from her work. “I’m surprised the Muggles haven’t come back. It’s getting really late.”

            “Oh, they were here about an hour ago. I think they thought you came to take Harry away for the rest of the summer. They walked in, took one look at me sitting here and practically fell over each other as they headed back out the door.” They laughed hysterically for a minute and stopped suddenly. Remus Lupin had thrown himself wildly through the kitchen door, his wand drawn. Tonks and Ginny had pulled their wands as Lupin caught himself from falling over the kitchen table.

            They looked from the werewolf to each other in eerie silence as he pulled himself up, breathing heavily. Ginny’s whole body tensed as he looked her up and down in anger. He came within inches of her and she could feel intense waves of fury as he opened his mouth to scold her. She had known this was coming and was fully prepared for a complete catastrophe.

            “What the hell do you think you are doing here?” His voice bellowed throughout the kitchen and Ginny could feel her eyes prickle. She had never seen Lupin so livid. “We’ve been looking everywhere, Ginny.....everywhere! I can’t even explain your mother’s state...she’s absolutely in ruins!” He grabbed her shoulders and started shaking her. “What- were- you- thinking? How could you have just taken off?” Ginny could feel her skin bruising as Lupin’s grip tightened.

            “Hold on there now, Remus.” Tonks pushed her way between the two of them, her wand directed at Lupins heart, her stare furious. “Don’t you dare...Don’t you dare yell at her! Do you know what she has done?” She pushed Ginny into a chair, her wand never leaving Lupin’s heart. Tonks’s face paled and shook with rage as she stared the werewolf down. “This girl, this wonderful brilliant little girl,” she said sniffing proudly, “got Harry out of bed.”

            Lupin froze in his spot, the anger on his face draining at the realization of what he had just heard. He looked from Tonks to Ginny and back again as if they had told him a horribly bad joke. Tonks just nodded to him silently, her face as still as stone. Ginny stared straight ahead and braced herself as Lupin turned to her. He knelt down in front of her and she scooted herself as far back on the chair as she could. She held her wand tightly in her hand as he looked into her terrified eyes.

            “I’m sorry....oh so sorry...” he cried as he wrapped his arms around her. His breath came in short gasps as he cried softly into Ginny’s shoulder. She glanced up at Tonks and noticed her eyes were also wet with tears. Ginny patted Lupin’s back nervously, not sure if she should comfort him or throw him off of her.

            He grasped her again and held her at arms length. “Thank you...” he whispered, a small smile forcing its way across his exhausted face. He stood slowly, pulling Ginny up with him and hugged her again.

            They sat at the table and started to discuss how Ginny had managed to get Harry out of his melancholy when a faint cough was heard from the hallway. Ginny, Lupin and Tonks bolted upright, their wands pointed into the darkness. A figure moved slightly and Tonks sprung ahead and pulled the intruder from the shadow.

            It was Harry.

            He was absolutely and completely irate.

            Light blue veins were popping through the pale skin on his neck. He lunged his weak frame at Lupin and Ginny as they brought their wands down in shock. Lupin caught him easily and dodged Harry’s attempted punches and kicks.

            “So you’re discussing me now?” he said through clenched teeth. He glared at Ginny and she backed into the wall, terrified of him for the second time that night. Harry did his best to escape Lupin’s grasp, his arms and legs flailing around trying to break free.

            “Ginny....How could you? I....I trusted you....” he spat the words and Ginny could feel her body go cold and numb. “That was supposed to be private! I can’t believe you’re talking about me like I’m some sort of freak show! You bitch!” She had realized that she had embarrassed him and betrayed an unspoken promise. She should have known better. She looked down to her feet as a gnawing guilt washed over.

            “Harry, Harry, calm down...” Lupin’s attempts at settling Harry were failing. Ginny was surprised to see him start to struggle against Harry’s frantic blows. Now she was scared. He had seemed so weak as they talked upstairs. Yet now, a strange force seemed to build in his eyes. The strength he possessed from pure anger and adrenalin was so strong, even Tonks got up to help Lupin hold him back.

            Harry cursed and fought and ranted but Lupin and Tonks wouldn’t let him go. Ginny could now see fear in both Tonks and Lupin’s eyes and decided to get the hell out of there before they let their grip slip. Ginny was tough but she wasn’t stupid. Something was seriously wrong. Harry could barely lift his head only a short while ago and now it was taking two people to hold him down.

            Ginny edged her way around the room, her eyes never leaving Harry’s crazed state. She reached the hallway just as a blinding white brightness emanated all around Harry. Ginny stood rooted to the spot. She couldn’t move. Beams of the light sprung out from every inch of his body. Ginny finally moved, instinctively sprawling onto the floor. Intense heat pierced her skin and she could smell it sizzling. Her mind went numb and fuzzy as excruciating pain shot throughout her body. Through the buzzing in her ears the last thing she heard was an excruciating wail coming from the kitchen as her mind fuzzed over completely into black.

********