Choices

This is an edited version of Choices Made, which was written a couple years ago. I didn't so much like how I had written back then, so I cropped and edited it. I'm currently working on editing the sequel, which was As Love Changes and will have that up shortly as well. Enjoy :)

It was hard for Ginny to let him go. She knew it was the only way to make things right. Her heart had torn and shattered, for the upcoming betrayal. He had given her the choice. Harry Potter had given her the choice, the option. He had faithfully announced that he loved her and that he had always loved her. It was Voldemort that held him back from truly realizing who he loved, who he needed, who had been right there in front of his eyes. Now it was she that had to make the decision.

She was waiting nervously for the boy to come. He was the boy she grew to love after being rejected by all others. She thought back to her love for Harry. She realized that it was time to move on, though she knew she would never forget her feelings for him. She tried to put her heart into Dean's hands, but he suffocated it. She gave it to Michael, but he threw it back at her. She gave it to Him. She had moved onto the boy that loved her deeply; the forbidden love. The one she had wanted so desperately yet couldn't have. The one that had mocked her family and friends. He was the one that tormented her brother and Harry, yet she couldn't hate him. He had tried to hold back love with anger, but even water slips through cupped hands.

The time was a quarter to midnight. The empty classroom brought back the memories she would always remember. The anticipation of his arrival was driving her mad. Only 15 minutes away and she was utterly bewildered on what she would say to him. She needed to have him one last time.

She strolled along the line of dusty tables, dragging her fingers over the surfaces. She stopped at the table is the very front row and she remembered. She remembered how it had first started.

He wrote to her in a letter, but didn't leave a name. It puzzled her, yes, but it excited her more. She wanted to go. She needed to go. And despite her better judgment, she went.

She entered the empty classroom scribbled on the note. There was a chair rocking smoothly back and forth with its back towards her. Butterflies had erupted in her stomach as she stepped closer.

"Hello?" she called curiously. Her feet glided down to within a foot of the chair. The chair had turned to face her and she had jumped backwards with shock. Draco Malfoy was sitting quietly in front of her.

"Malfoy?" she gasped.

Draco stood up from the chair. He took a step towards her and she took a step back.

"Please," he whispered. He took another step towards her and raised his hand slowly. His fingertips grazed her cheek and she felt flames erupt beneath them.

Ginny closed her eyes. She knew it was wrong. She knew she should just turn around and walk away, but she couldn't bring herself to do so. Her will melted under his touch.

He took a step closer to her and grabbed her shoulders. His lips met hers gently and the burning sensation intensified. She had not pushed away. Her mind was racing and foggy at the same time. Part of her was amazed that she was kissing Draco Malfoy of all people. He was her brother's enemy and he was kissing her. The other part of her mind was too dizzy with the excitement coursing through her veins.

The gentleness of the situation changed rapidly as Ginny realized it was right. It was so right that it felt natural. She needed him. She needed the burn. It was what her life had been lacking. With lips still connected, she pushed Draco against the table in the front row. They bumped into the desk and it skidded backwards, causing Ginny to giggle. He turned them around and pushed her onto the table. He was suddenly lying on top of her and the warmth from his body was comforting. His lips moved from hers and began tracing her jaw line, down her neck, and onto her collar.

"You that wrote the letter?" she asked breathlessly. Her eyes were closed and her fingers were running over his shoulder blades.

He didn't remove his lips from her collarbone. "Yes. Ever since the dreams I had of you, I couldn't get you out of my mind. They clouded my thoughts and every time I looked at you, I had to resist the urge to ravish you in the Great Hall."

Ginny giggled.

He pulled away to look at her and brush a lock of red from her face. "I told myself that you were a Weasley. I told myself that I was a Malfoy. I told myself that it would never work out. I told myself that I was evil and you were not. And then I told myself I needed you."

She looked into his stormy eyes and couldn't believe how right it all felt.

He kissed her again and Ginny sensed the desperation in the kiss.

She didn't return to the common room until four in the morning.

Ginny checked her watch again. There were mere minutes until she would have to let go. There were mere minutes until her heart would sink into misery. If only it had never happened. If only Harry didn't love her. If only she didn't always carry a torch for him. Her love for Harry was so strong that even she couldn't control it. He was everything she should want.

And then Draco's words rang through her head. 'I told myself that you were a Weasley. I told myself that it would never work out. I told myself that I was evil and you were not.'

Draco was dangerous, but not because he, himself, was, but because his family was. It could never work out for them. They would always been living a lie. There would always be secrets. Her family would never accept it. His family would never accept it.

She knew the right choice, even if it felt incredibly wrong. With Harry it was so easy. He was the Boy Who Lived. He was the famous Harry Potter. He was good and brave and intelligent. She wouldn't have to worry what her family thought if she dated him. She wouldn't have to fear the disappointment if they knew she was with Harry, rather than Draco. With Harry, she wasn't sacrificing anything. Nothing except the other one she loved.

She stared down onto the table in the front row. Unlike the other tables, this one was dust-free. It was because Ginny had met Draco every Saturday night for seven months. Looking at the table made her eyes burn.

The doorknob jingled behind her, causing her to jump like she had every other Saturday night. Draco stepped in wearing a tight gray shirt and loose green pajama pants.

She rolled her eyes and smile inside. Slytherin Pride.

His eyebrow raised in confusion at Ginny's ensemble. She was wearing jeans, a dark red tee shirt, and a long, gray jacket instead of Draco's favorite light blue silk nightgown.

He stepped closer. "Is everything okay? If you're not in the mood for anything tonight, I'll underst..."

Ginny raised a finger to his lips and the talking ceased immediately. Tears were burning her eyes.

"Just kiss me," she whispered shakily. He placed a hand onto her cheek and cleared away the tears under her eyes with his thumb. He pulled her against him and she felt the same warmth she always felt. She would never feel the sensation with Harry like she felt with Draco. His was too breathtaking for words.

Draco's other hand had moved to her shoulder where he slid his hand under the jacket to remove it. Ginny broke the kiss and pushed away. She closed her eyes again and took a deep breath.

"I'm sorry, Draco," she spoke gently. "I can't do this."

"Why not?" Draco asked her, his voice slightly uneven. "Are you...you're not...pregnant or anything, are you?"

"No..."

He breathed a sigh of relief. "Okay good. Well I mean, well that's good, but I could have handled it. Everything would have been fine," he said strongly to defend himself. "The baby would be amazingly good-looking as well, having us for parents."

She knew he was trying to lighten the mood and she smiled at him, but it didn't reach her eyes.

He saw the sadness in her eyes and frowned. "What is it then?"

"I can't do this anymore. It's not working." Ginny whispered.

Draco smirked. "I thought it was working fine."

Ginny gave a painful giggle, and smiled at him again. "No, Draco, not that. That's great. I mean...us."

He furrowed his brow and looked suspiciously at her. "We're fine too."

Ginny gave a disbelieving laugh. "No, we're not."

"What do you mean? Of course we're fine. I mean, well, we can't do anything in public or be seen even as friends because of my father and the Golden Trio, but look at us in the last several months."

Ginny looked at him. His eyes were unreadable, but she knew him better than that. He was panicking inside.

"I'm sorry," she choked. Ginny turned towards the door.

"Ginny?" he asked disbelievingly, grabbing her elbow as she ran by.

"I can't!" Ginny said raising her voice.

"But..."

"I just can't anymore!"

"Why not?" Draco said, raising his voice as well.

"Because..."

"Because why, Ginny?"

"Because I'm in love with Harry! Because with him, I'm safe from your father! With him, there are no secrets. With him, I won't disappoint my family! I love you, but it just can't keep working like this! And I can't go through this world wondering about what might have been if I turned him down!" Ginny turned away from him, her hands covering her face! Tears now flowed as she sank onto the floor. Her arms wrapped around her knees and her face rested on her knees. She cried freely.

Draco stood a few feet away looking numb, defeated. He opened him mouth to talk, but nothing came out. He stared down at her, wanting to touch her and hold her, but he also wanted to just disappear with his pain. Too stunned for anything, he walked over to the door; his steps drowned out by Ginny's sobs. He reached for the doorknob and turned the handle.

"I'll never stop loving you," he said from over his shoulder.

Ginny still sat weeping on the floor. She didn't watch him go. It was too painful.

She heard the door click closed and laid down on the dusty floor; curled into a ball. She clutched her stomach, feeling as though the walls were closing in around her. She was drowning.

It was another several hours later before she returned to the common room. It was there that she would meet Harry in the common room. She would then store the pain away in her heart, only to let it out in her bed during the nights. Harry would never see her suffering and she would get everything her heart ever wanted.

For now...

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