Love's Battle Revisited

Chapter 4 - Further Repercussions

Once Harry arrived back home, he found the tiny brown-and-white owl Pigwidgeon sitting on his kitchen windowsill, an envelope in his beak. "Hi, Pig. It's Harry. I've missed you. Been a long time. Let me have the letter now, okay?"

The miniscule owl twittered happily as Harry slipped him a treat, patted his head, then sent him on his way. Harry would use his own owl, Hedwig, to send his reply to Luna. She was beginning to show her age, so he didn't send her on long trips anymore, although she did fine otherwise. His heart ached at the thought of losing his beloved owl one day, but he knew it had to happen sooner or later, so he had best be prepared for it and enjoy her while he could. Harry got himself a cold butterbeer from the fridge and sat down at the kitchen table to read Luna's letter.

Harry,

I took a chance and told Ron what you wanted me to do. Didn't mention any names, of course, and I think it'd be a wise precaution to have the girls disguised, but I should be able to take them for at least a couple of hours on weekdays, between one-thirty and three-thirty, until you get off work. I can even pick up the girls from school if you like. Just tell me which school they go to, where they usually wait for you, and tell the girls what I look like so they'll recognise me.

I also suggest that you let the school authorities know that you've authorised me to pick them up so they don't think I'm kidnapping them or something. And yes, it would be appreciated if you could pay me a bit, say a Galleon or two per week, for looking after them, if only to give me a little pin money so I won't have to pester Ron for any. After all, with two children to raise and only one breadwinner in the family, there isn't always a lot of, if any, money left over at the end of the month. You understand, I'm sure.

If you don't want to take a chance on stopping by to pick them up, I can bring them home myself via Side-Along Apparition or send them home via the Floo Network. Let me know which means you prefer ... and thank you for your trust in me. I also hope we can manage to bring you and Ron back together as friends again one day. Meanwhile, I'm here if you need me and I'll keep you up-to-date on Ron's doings. How will that be?

Your friend always,

Luna Lovegood-Weasley

Harry sighed in relief after taking a long, cold swig of butterbeer. Well, that was one more weight off his shoulders. Now, if he could only get 'Mione to sit down and talk to him, they might be able to work something out in regards to their marriage. If not, then it was kindest for all concerned if they just called it quits and went their separate ways. With her working, Harry saw no need to offer her any monetary compensation, otherwise known as alimony, between divorced spouses. She made enough to support herself quite nicely, even without his help.

It was also usually the mother who got custody of any children, but Harry was confident he could show the authorities sufficient proof that he had been the primary caregiver for the girls and thus win custody of Lily and Helen--although if 'Mione wanted to see them, he could offer her visitation rights on weekends, their birthday and Christmas, if not certain other special occasions like school functions which parents were encouraged to attend.

After all, whatever her shortcomings, she was still their mother, and they loved her. Meanwhile, he would have to sit down with the girls at the first opportunity and tell them where they would be going after school--at least for a couple of hours, anyway--from this point on, until he got off work. Meanwhile, he had best answer Luna's letter, then owl one to Moony after that, see if he would be willing to meet and speak with him.

* * * * *

Luna,

Good to hear from you so promptly ... but then, you always were like that. Glad to hear that Ron's okay with your looking after the girls--and don't worry, they'll be in disguise with a change of eye colour and lightening of hair, stuff like that. The Disguising Charm I'm using is supposed to last four hours, so even if Ron should happen to see them, there shouldn't be a problem. I really appreciate your taking them and will be more than happy to compensate you for their care. As for letting the school authorities know that I've authorised you to pick up my girls, I've already taken care of it, given them a picture of you and all that. I usually have the girls go to the school office and I pick them up there; I've found it's safest for everyone concerned, including me. I also don't place the Disguising Charm on them until after they've left school. However, I give you leave to do so before Ron arrives home.

I definitely understand the difficulties of raising children with only one breadwinner, so don't worry your head about that. I'm glad to help in any way I can. I just had my quarters connected to the Floo Network, so just send the girls home that way after I contact you to let you know I'm there to receive them. As for Ron, I do hope one day that he and I can be close friends again, and yes, feel free to keep me updated on him. The girls know who you are now, so there'll be no problem there. Thanks again for your help. I'll be sending the Galleons via owl post at the end of every week.

All the best,
Harry

Upon finishing the letter, he went to find Hedwig perched in her cage sleeping, her head tucked under her wing. "Sorry to wake you, girl, but I have a job for you. Take this to my friend Luna, then come right back and I'll have another job for you as soon as you've rested up." Hedwig hooted sleepily and opened her amber eyes, then nipped Harry's finger affectionately as he carefully removed her from her cage, then thrust the edge of the envelope under her beak. With that, she was gone. He decided to allow her at least half an hour each way; that should give him a bit of time to come up with a letter to Moony.

* * * * *

It was very difficult to write Moony, especially after ten years of silence, but Harry did the best he could--and could only hope it was good enough. He allowed Hedwig to rest for half an hour upon her return from delivering his answer to Luna's letter, making sure she got a treat and some water before he sent her off again. To Harry's surprise, he received a reply within a couple of hours.

Harry, it was a surprise, to say the least, to receive your owl post. Yes, I'm willing to meet with you. It'll be interesting to find out what all you've been up to all this time. How does Saturday afternoon around two at the Order HQ in Padfoot's old house sound? Is that convenient for you? If not, let me know and we can reschedule.

Remus

Harry was somewhat encouraged by the tone of Remus's note, even though he seemed a bit more formal than usual. He supposed he understood; after all, you couldn't expect someone to automatically resume their former relationship with you after a decade apart. What mattered was that Moony was willing to meet with him. He would ask his own questions when he saw his surrogate godfather again, and hoped it would be possible to attempt to make amends to the Order, if not Moony himself.

Harry scribbled the following reply:

Glad to hear you're willing to meet with me, Moony. It'll be good to see you again, and I'll be glad to bring you up-to-date. Saturday afternoon at two is fine. I'll see you then.

Harry

Harry usually spent at least part of Saturday with his girls, but this time he would have to see if Luna could take them that day too, assuring her in another quick note that he would pay her extra for her trouble for looking after them while he was meeting with Remus, and would be most grateful for her help. How could she possibly turn down a chance for extra money? He just hoped the meeting with Moony didn't go any longer than four hours; otherwise the Disguising Charm might wear off and Ron might guess who the girls really belonged to. He was taking a risk with a temporary charm, but at the moment, it was the best he could come up with on short notice.

To Harry's surprise, Remus was waiting outside for him when he arrived and they exchanged friendly, if not affectionate, greetings. Remus looked older, certainly, but much better dressed and fed, mainly due to his marriage to Tonks. "You've certainly changed, Harry," Remus opined. "But then, ten years will do that to you. Can hardly wait to hear all about what you've been up to since I saw you last."

"As I said, I'll be happy to update you, Moony," Harry replied; Remus seemed to stiffen at the familiar nickname coming from someone he had thought dead for the better part of a decade. It was only last week that Minerva had sent word that Harry and Hermione were alive and teaching at Hogwarts as he once had ... Harry in the same capacity as Remus, the DADA position.

Remus was so incensed at Harry for what he and Hermione had done that he was hard-pressed to maintain the friendly façade, but he'd managed harder things, and it wouldn't be much longer before he had Harry right where he wanted him--and once he did, he intended to get the answers he sought, whatever he had to do ... even if he had to hang his erstwhile godson by his thumbs!

"Here we are, mate. Have a seat right here." Remus gestured to an overstuffed chair, and Harry seated himself. "Comfortable? Good. Now if you would be so kind as to hand over your wand, we can begin."

Harry gave Remus a funny look. "Why do you want me to hand over my wand?"

"I have my reasons," Remus returned enigmatically. "Now give it to me."

Harry's look deepened but he didn't argue; Remus took the wand and pocketed it. "Thank you. Now just sit right there and relax. We'll be starting in a few minutes."

"Starting what?" Harry was starting to become alarmed. This wasn't like Remus at all. What was going on here?

"Your interrogation," Remus replied, then drew his own wand and said, "Incarcerous." Within moments, Harry soon found himself bound securely to the chair. He looked up at Remus, green fire in his eyes, but Remus never flinched, giving back every bit as good as he got. He'd never seen Remus's eyes so cold, his countenance so forbidding.

"What the bloody hell do you think you're doing?" Harry demanded, but it was as if he hadn't spoken at all because Remus never reacted; just simply sat before him, holding his wand on him like a weapon, daring him to move even an inch--not that he could!

"All in good time," came the casual reply. "But no more questions now. After this, I will be asking the questions and you'll be answering--and truthfully, too, or else I'll use the Levicorpus spell on you and suspend you upside down like your father liked to do with Snape! But if there was any justice, you'd get the Cruciatus ... or worse!"

Harry now understood what Moony was getting at ... but why couldn't he have been more up-front and told him right from the start what kind of information he was after?

"Harry, how could you and Hermione do such a thing? Ginny and Ron loved you. What's more, Ginny was expecting to marry you. She deserved the truth, not lies and coverups from a yellow-bellied coward who wasn't even man enough to face her--but instead, you run off with her heretofore best friend in order to shag each other in a whole different country for ten years! And all this after spreading the lie that you'd both been killed!"

"It wasn't like that, Moony. We were in love ... or thought we were, anyway. We weren't consciously trying to hurt anybody. We just wanted to be together and believed what we were doing would make it easier on everybody."

Lupin's face hardened further, not buying a word of it as he continued to point his wand threateningly in Harry's direction. "So that gave you the right to lie, cheat and make fools of everyone who ever loved you. From what I understand, even Molly, the most forgiving person I know, no longer speaks to either of you unless she has to--and has forbidden either of you to set foot inside the Burrow again. Takes a lot to alienate her, but you two managed it brilliantly. Which reminds me ... what you did was a most convenient way to eliminate all competition from your lives. With everyone thinking you were dead, no one would be likely to surmise that you'd simply run off together to another country to start a new life under assumed names."

By this time, Harry was getting angry ... one, for being treated like a criminal, and two, for being bound and his wand confiscated, as if he couldn't be trusted to control himself. "Damn it, Moony, why all this subterfuge? Why couldn't you just have come out and said what you wanted? Besides, you make it sound like we deliberately set out to hurt everyone--and we didn't! For Merlin's sake, why can't anyone understand that? Falling in love isn't a crime, as far as I know, but everyone's sure as bloody hell acting like it is!"

"That's not the issue, Harry. It's how you went about it. And by the way, I think your parents--not to mention Hermione's--would be very ashamed of you right now. Even at his worst, James never lied to or cheated on your mother, much less led her on or made a fool of her in order to shag her best friend by throwing her love back in her face as you've done with Ginny and Ron. Nor was James ever a coward--and he would certainly never run out on your mum, not under any circumstances!"

Harry shook his head in exasperation. "It's something, how everyone seems to have appointed themselves judge, jury and executioner here. What do you intend to do for an encore, have the entire Order hex me and Hermione or something?"

"No," Lupin said simply. "Though Merlin knows I should. Just offer the wronged ones a chance to do so if they wish. In this case, we may even suspend the penalty for the use of unforgivable curses--or more specifically, the Cruciatus, in order to give you both a taste of what you've put us all through by making us think you'd been killed when instead, you'd simply run off together to another country without a bloody word to anyone. Don't worry, we'll limit the duration, although you both deserve the full treatment after what you've done.

"And don't even try to claim that you two are the injured parties when in fact, it's both of you who've caused a lot of unnecessary pain and heartache for the entire wizarding world, not just those closest to you, by your selfish, thoughtless actions. Most importantly, you've caused immeasurable pain and heartache to everyone who ever cared about you--and worst of all, to those who loved you best! Frankly I wouldn't blame any of them if they never spoke to either of you or associated with you again."

Harry sighed sadly, finally seeing Moony's point, not wanting to admit that he might be right, but after some hard thinking, eventually had to agree that everything he'd said was true. He wished there was a way to turn back time and erase the last ten years, or at least somehow make it up to the ones who had been so terribly wronged--but there didn't seem to be any way on God's green earth to do so. At least, none that he could think of or that they would be willing to accept at this point. What was worse, he and Hermione had brought it on by their own actions!

Harry had expected a happy reunion but instead had gotten an angry lecture on his and Hermione's conduct, especially their conduct regarding those closest to them. Not that he could totally blame Remus, but there was no way to go back and change things now, even if he'd wanted to--or could. And what was the point of chastising him alone? He hadn't done it by himself.

As if reading his mind, Remus said, "Oh, don't worry. We'll get your erstwhile bride here and punish her as well. It's only a matter of time."

"Moony, why are you doing this? I admit it; I'm not proud of what I've done and am doing all I can to make amends, but it's going to take longer than overnight to do it. Which reminds me--you should be happy to know that we're planning on getting a divorce."

"Well, that's something in your favour, anyway. Too bad the entire wizarding world had to suffer for your perfidy and overactive hormones before you realised your mistake. I'm also given to understand that you have two daughters from this ... marriage."

"Yes, twin girls. They're nine. I'm their primary caregiver."

"Indeed. Seems that you're a better father than a lover. What do you intend to do to compensate those whom you've wronged?"

"Everything I possibly can, of course. I can't give you specifics right now," Harry reminded him. "What should matter is that I'm trying to do something about it ... and what's more, the 'wronged ones,' as you put it, must give me a fair hearing before making a final judgment instead of assuming me guilty until proven innocent."

"Bloody well took you long enough. And to think I once thought James was slow on the uptake. You've got him beat by a country mile! After this, you'd better keep in touch with us, let us know what you're up to at least once a week. If you don't, we'll send someone out to get your report personally--and if I have to do that, you know what's likely to happen."

"Are you threatening me?"

"Maybe I am ... but you've got it coming and then some, boy. Make no mistake about that. We wouldn't have to go through all this if you'd only been honest and up front from the start. This is your own doing, Harry--no one else's. You and Hermione brought it all on yourselves! If you'd just had a little empathy and thought beyond your bloody hormones, you might have asked yourself, 'How would I feel if I were treated as I'm treating people who freely gave me hospitality, gave me love and affection, gave me ... themselves?' You'd be mad as all hell, wouldn't you? ... Wouldn't you?" Remus persisted.

"I ... suppose so," Harry reluctantly admitted.

"You suppose so? You know so! You'd be bloody furious, vowing revenge at every turn, yet you expect those you've wronged to just automatically take you back as if no time has passed, as if no harm has been done!"

"I get the point, Moony. I assure you, I get the point. Now will you bloody well release me so can I leave?"

"I suppose so--but I suggest you call me 'Lupin' from now on. I only allow friends or family to call me 'Moony,' and at the moment, you are neither. Which reminds me, I think even Padfoot would be ashamed of you. You may have thought what you were doing was right at the time, but look at how many you ended up hurting in the process. How can that possibly be right?

"I know you can't please everybody and must please yourself, but you still should have had maturity enough to think of others' feelings besides your own and beyond your own immediate needs and desires before going off half-cocked. Now get out of here. And incidentally, I'm no longer your surrogate godfather. Good day."

Remus then vanished the ropes binding Harry, and the latter did as instructed upon retrieving his wand, sad at heart and the realisation hitting as hard and as suddenly as the proverbial ton of bricks the depth and magnitude of the wrongs he and Hermione had done to so many--and worst of all, to the ones who had once loved them dearly. Things were in such a terrible mess now; how could he ... they ... ever put them right again? Was it even possible?

* * * * *

Harry did his best to keep Remus's words out of his mind as he flew home, but they kept coming back to him. Finally he had to admit, if only to himself, that not thinking about it was impossible. Disowned. He had been disowned ... and by the only parental figure he had left! But that wasn't the worst of it: the worst of it was that he'd brought this on by his own actions. And then for Moony to have said that even Sirius would have been ashamed of him, much less his own parents--that was the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back.

But Remus of all people should know that there was no way for him to go back and undo what he had done; all they could do was deal with the consequences of his actions and go from there. Disowning him wasn't going to change anything. On the other hand, maybe it was meant to shame him into repentance, to encourage him to go back to Ginny. Even as much as he wanted to do just that, though, the bad blood currently between him and the Weasleys made Harry hesitate.

What's more, he wouldn't have just Gin's brothers and parents on his back, he would likely have Draco as well; he had all but promised as much. But he would have to take a chance at some point; otherwise he'd never get her back--nor would he ever get to know the child, young Lily ... and he wanted that every bit as much as he wanted Ginny back. Wanting his oldest daughter to get to know her half-sisters (she probably knew her half-brothers, Draco's sons, at least fairly well) was icing on the cake compared to this.

It might help if he talked with Minerva, then see if she would allow him to speak some with Dumbledore's portrait, the closest he could come to speaking with the wise old wizard himself. He was in too much of a hurry to get there, so he flew all the way there on his Firebolt and didn't stop until he was in front of the gargoyle. He could only hope the password hadn't changed because he hadn't had seen the Headmistress lately to ask whether or not there was a new one, so he gave the last one he knew. Fortunately, the gargoyle leapt aside, and Harry made his way up the winding stairs as quickly as he could, then knocked on the door.

"Come in," came McGonagall's voice. "Harry! What's wrong? You look like you just lost your last friend."

"I think I have. I ... just saw Moony, Minerva. We had a talk, and he ... disowned me. He also said not to call him 'Moony,' that he only allowed friends or family to call him that--and that I was neither in his eyes anymore."

"You mean you're no longer his godson?"

"Basically, yes," Harry returned glumly.

"Because of what you did ten years ago, I assume."

Harry could only nod slightly in response, too stunned and hurt to speak for a long time. "He even said that Sirius would be ashamed of me ... not to mention my parents ... and whether or not I want to admit it, I know deep down that he's right. But what can I do to make amends when everyone's against me, Minerva? I can't blame them for feeling as they do, but I can't even begin to make things right if they don't let me try."

But then a most unexpected voice got into the conversation before McGonagall could draw breath for a reply. "I'm afraid I did warn you that this might happen, Harry."

He looked up to find the portrait of the former headmaster, Albus Dumbledore, smiling sympathetically at him. "I know, Professor, and I'm sorry I didn't listen to you then. I've just mucked up everyone's lives, and mine worst of all. I assume you've heard of my marital troubles with Hermione?"

"I have," came the reply from the portrait. "I suspected that the two of you were far too different in temperament and basic personality to sustain a romantic relationship for long, but you both were so determined to run off together that there wasn't much else I could do except wish you luck. Unfortunately, you're going to need more than luck to even begin to straighten your current life's mess out. It's also going to take a few little things known as miracles."

"Have you been able to sit down and discuss things with Hermione yet, Harry?" Minerva put in.

"No; she seems to be consciously avoiding me as well as the issue at hand. I'm beginning to think I'll have to literally pin her down so we can work things out. I've tentatively worked out a few things, but need to have her input before I make any final decisions or take any concrete action--and how can I if she won't discuss anything with me?"

"Maybe if I order her to come here and mediate between the two of you ..." the Headmistress suggested.

"That might work--but what do we do about our girls? I can't leave them alone for long--and they're alone right now."

"Is there anyone you know that isn't angry with you who might be willing to look after them if you ask them to?" the headmaster's portrait asked.

"Luna might. She's married to Ron and says she's willing to help me ... but the girls look so much like 'Mione and myself that she's leery of allowing them around him too much without having them disguised. I put temporary Disguising Charms on them, but they only last four hours. I don't want to cause him any more difficulty than he's already had."

"How long do you think this talk would take, the one between you and Hermione?" McGonagall wondered.

"I have no idea, but probably at least two to four hours, if not longer," Harry estimated.

"I think the best thing to do is take things one case at a time," Dumbledore's portrait said. "We work this divorce and child custody matter out first, then go from there. Perhaps work out the difficulty with Remus next. I know the ... affection you have for him, Harry, and Minerva and I want to do everything we can to see that you reconcile. Not to mention reconcile with the Weasleys ... and the charming Miss Ginevra Weasley in particular, whom I know does still love you, despite any claims you may have heard to the contrary. Maybe we can bring the ones who have the most serious grievances with you here and mediate with them on your behalf. This is probably the safest place to do it, outside of Grimmauld Place, and at the moment, I doubt that Remus would allow you in there."

"Probably not. And any help either of you can give will be appreciated," Harry returned with a sad smile. "Owl me once you've got that meeting arranged, okay, Minerva? That way I can contact Luna and see if she can take the girls."

"Of course, Harry," she promised with an answering smile. "By the way, I know a longer-lasting Disguising Charm, one that will last twelve hours." She scribbled down the incantation on a piece of parchment, handed it to him and told him to modify it to his own tastes.

"Thanks, Minerva. I've got to get back home now. See you later." With that, Harry mounted his broom again and was off.

Once he was gone, McGonagall looked at Dumbledore's portrait; both exchanged concerned looks for Harry. "Do you really think we can help him, Albus?"

"We can only try, Minerva. The rest is up to Harry himself."