Double Standard

DOUBLE STANDARD

By hgseeker

This is a rebuttal to a story on the Simply Undeniable site called, "Why Ginny Weasley was a Virgin When She Married Harry Potter."

Ginny had never felt more miserable in her life. She hadn't slept, had barely eaten enough to stay alive and cried more than she had ever believed possible. How could Harry betray her as he had during the war and yet expect her to forgive him? How could he claim he 'couldn't help himself,' 'needed it so bad, despite how much I loved you'? How could he possibly claim to love her when he could so easily shag other witches, especially when he knew how she felt about him and that they were engaged? And he bloody well should feel guilty to have so neglected his commitment to her when she had been able to honour it.

She had been under every bit as much stress as he or any of the others involved, yet she was able to exercise proper self-control ... but it seemed like Harry was incapable of it. Why be engaged to her if he was going to cheat on her the first chance he got? How the bloody hell would he have felt if she'd done what he did and then claimed to love him? She'd also like to ask him if he would have felt comfortable shagging her, knowing she'd been with so many others. Maybe that would give him some idea of what he'd done to her.

What's more, how could anyone sleep with him, knowing he was engaged? Of course, it didn't seem that any of them thought it was very important, least of all Harry, despite his claims, tears and protestations. She also wouldn't put it past him not to have said anything about it to anyone but Ron and Hermione. Which reminded her, how could she have slept with Harry, knowing how she, Ginny, felt about him?

Nor did Ginny believe for a moment that Ron would ever willingly countenance Hermione sleeping with Harry for any reason, even if she heard it directly from them. She sat at the table, her dinner uneaten, face buried in her arms. She was so wrapped up in misery that she didn't hear anyone approach until trays were set down near her. She reluctantly looked up to find all the ones, save one, that Harry had shagged during the war, including his so-called "sister," Hermione. One didn't generally shag one's sister, but there was an exception to every rule. And to think she had considered each of them her friends!

"Ginny, are you all right?" Hermione asked, galling Ginny with her concern.

"Oh yes, I'm just fine. I just love knowing that the man I love shagged virtually every witch he ran across while keeping me away. I'm not too pleased with you, either. How could you shag him, knowing how I felt about him, knowing we were engaged? Didn't that matter to either of you at all?"

"Gin, no one did it to consciously hurt you," Hermione claimed, but the way Ginny felt, all she wanted to do was hex them all, especially her erstwhile best friend. She had waited years for Harry to notice her, and once he finally did and managed to destroy Voldemort, she had hoped that they would be able to take each other's virginity. But obviously he didn't think it was important enough to save himself for their marriage. And if he could cheat on her now, what was to stop him from doing it after their marriage?

"That's not the point. The point is that you did it, knowing we were engaged and how much I loved him!"

"He wasn't willing ... at least not initially," Hermione recalled. "I had to talk him into it."

"Also, how could Ron possibly be okay with Harry shagging you? You know how he feels about you!"

"This was war, Ginny. Many times one does in wartime what one would never do ordinarily."

"And I suppose you think that excuses it," Ginny shot back, her hand just itching for her wand. "I wait years for him, yet he leaves me behind to shag all those other women while all the while claiming to love me. You know how highly sexed I am, but I managed to control myself. And I don't care what any of you claim, cheating is cheating, no matter how you try to justify it!"

"You and Harry were engaged, Ginny? I had no idea. I'm so sorry," Luna said, trying to reach out and comfort her, but Ginny snatched her hand away.

"For the moment ... but after what he's done, I'm very tempted to break it off."

"Ginny, he loves you. You would devastate him if you did that," Hermione broke in again.

"Yeah, I noticed how devastated he was without me," she shot back bitterly.

This time Hannah replied. "You knew about this and never said, Hermione? No wonder Ginny feels like she does. I would, too, in her shoes ... and wouldn't have slept with Harry if I'd known."

"Ginny's just overreacting. She'll come around," Hermione claimed.

"Oh yeah, I'm being childish," Ginny returned sarcastically. "It's perfectly all right for Harry to shag whoever he wants 'under the stress of war,' never mind that we're engaged, and then sprout a conscience after the damage has been done. Why should it matter to me that he didn't think our engagement important enough to keep himself for our marriage? I guess I was expecting too much of a randy eighteen-year-old to actually honour his commitment to me. He claimed to need it so much; well, why couldn't he have come back to me for it? How hard would that have been?"

"We couldn't do that, Gin," Hermione declared. "We had too much going at that point to be able to come home on a whim."

"Yeah, I'll bet! Which reminds me ... how would you have felt if Ron cheated on you, 'Mione?"

"Gin, it was not a matter of cheating," Hermione insisted. "It was a matter of fulfilling a basic need."

"What would you call it, then?" she shot back, tears of both anger and hurt filling her eyes. "Because of this, I don't know if I'll ever feel comfortable allowing Harry near me again, much less to shag me. How do I know he won't be thinking of one of you while we're doing it, or comparing me to you, Luna, Lavender, Hannah or even that Morag?"

"Now I know why Harry has dark circles under his eyes and is drinking like a fish," said Hermione. "His eyes are also puffy and red from crying. How could you do this to him, Ginny?"

"How could I do this to him?" she almost screeched. "What about what he's done to me? Have you any idea how many hours I've cried over this, how many sleepless nights I've spent longing for him, while all the while he's been shagging one of you?"

"Just what do you expect us to do, Ginny, sit in sackcloth and ashes? What's done is done; it can't be changed now. Don't destroy the deepest love you've ever known for petty jealousy."

"Petty jealousy? Petty jealousy? Why, you ... Get out of here before I hex you into the next century!" She grabbed her wand and pointed it threateningly at Hermione. "And if Harry feels so bad, why don't one of you go comfort, or better yet, shag him? You thought nothing of doing it all the months of the war, what should stop you from doing it now?"

"The war's over, Ginny. He needs you."

"He should have thought of that before he let his bloody hormones get the better of him!" she sobbed angrily. "Now get the bloody hell out of here before I do something we'll all regret!" But instead, it was Ginny who stood up, then fled from the room, leaving behind several former friends who felt bad for her but had no idea how to help her. Indeed, what they had done had caused her ineffable pain and it would be a long time before she got over this, if indeed she ever did.

* * * * *

She went up to the apartment her parents had taken, knowing she had to talk to someone older, someone she loved and trusted, praying that Harry wasn't there doing the same thing. Hopefully Molly would be too upset with him for what he had done to support him against her own daughter, but Ginny couldn't afford to take chances. She found her mother in the kitchen, thankfully alone, her father being elsewhere in the castle with Harry, supervising the reconstruction of one of the destroyed areas.

"Mum?" she called out quietly.

"Ginny? Darling, you look terrible. Did something happen between you and Harry?"

"You might say that," she returned quietly, just barely loud enough for her mother to hear. "He cheated on me during the war."

"He what?"

"He cheated on me," she repeated. "Then he tried to justify it by saying he needed it so bad, that he just couldn't help himself. Then he acts so bloody superior about it by telling me that they used the Contraceptive Charm. As if that makes it all right! How can I ever allow him to touch me again after what he's done? How can he possibly claim to love me? What's worse, 'Mione was even one of the ones shagging him during the war ... but has the gall to criticise me!"

"I'm sorry you're hurting so much, darling, but I'm sure they couldn't have meant to consciously hurt you."

"They might as well have. Even the Cruciatus would have hurt less than knowing this! What's more, the one I'd planned to spend my life with has stuck a knife in me. How the bloody hell am I supposed to feel at a time like this?"

"Don't swear," Molly returned sternly.

"It's either that or I hex them into the middle of the next century," Ginny returned quietly but dangerously. "How could they do this to me? What did I do to deserve it? Was it so much to ask for Harry to honour his commitment to me? I was able to control myself, yet he seemed to think nothing of shagging whatever witch he came across, all ostensibly because of the 'stress of war'. If he could cheat on me while we're engaged, what am I supposed to think but that he'd be likely to do it again if we married?"

"In wartime, people do things they would never do ordinarily," Molly pointed out.

"You know, 'Mione said the same thing. So I'm just supposed to forgive Harry as if nothing ever happened, as if he never cheated on me? Mum, how would you feel if Daddy did such a thing to you, yet still claimed to love you? Wouldn't you feel angry and hurt, want revenge on him?"

Molly had to admit that she would, at least to herself, and knew she had to do all she could to ease her daughter's pain, but at the same time still loved Harry like another son. In fact, he had been by earlier that day before he had gone off with Arthur and confessed everything to her
--but at the same time, swore up and down that despite what he had done, he still loved Ginny with every fibre of his being but had no idea how he was ever going to convince her of that. He couldn't blame her for being hurt and angry; he would feel the same way in her position.

Now he had some idea of the pain he had caused her because of how he was feeling because of their separation, this time instigated by her. No matter what he had done, gifts, flowers, cards ... he was unable to change her mind. And what's worse, what Molly had said had never left his mind. "You've got to try to see it from her perspective. She was able to remain faithful to you, but you couldn't remain faithful to her. Basically, even under wartime circumstances, cheating is cheating, whether you consciously meant to or not. Was the momentary pleasure and release worth risking the greatest love you've ever known? It's most unfortunate that you didn't consider the potential consequences of your actions; because of that, you're paying for them now. I'm sorry for your pain, dear, but you've got to realise the pain you've caused Ginny."

"Molly, I can't do any more than I'm doing. Why does she have to be so stubborn?"

"Again, I can only say that you need to put yourself in her shoes. How would you feel if your situations had been reversed and she did it to you, then claimed to love you? Would you want her to touch you or make love to you, knowing she'd been with so many others and was possibly thinking of them, comparing you with them? Would you like that idea? Could you accept it as you're expecting her to do? That's why she doesn't want you to touch her or make love to her now; she believes you would be thinking of them, comparing her with them when you should be concentrating on her alone.

"In addition, she had fully expected the two of you to lose your virginity to each other, not to someone else ... especially not to Hermione. But now, even if you should manage to convince her to take you back, she would still be the sixth you've shagged, not the first. That loss is a great blow to her, especially emotionally. I'm sure she still loves you despite it all, but it's a very complicated situation. I'm afraid you can only keep a respectful distance from her, at least for the time being. I also advise you not to shag anyone else while you're waiting. Do whatever you must to satisfy yourself, but do it on your own. That's the only way you're going to have even a remote chance of winning her back."

Harry hadn't considered that before, although he knew he probably should have. But how could he ever get through to Ginny if she wouldn't have anything to do with him, wouldn't allow herself to be alone with him, even for a moment? What's worse, he knew that Ginny wouldn't have--couldn't have--cheated on him, not for any reason ... yet he couldn't return the favour. He truly wished he could have, and he had told her so, even apologised for it, but it was too late to change anything now.

It was very likely that he had lost her forever, and by his own actions, however necessary he had believed them to be at the time. Nor could he blame her if she started dating someone else and eventually shagged him, despite her claim that she wouldn't, at least not simply to get even with him, even if he deserved it. It would serve him right if she did, of course, but Ginny wasn't that kind of person.

At the moment he didn't see any way on God's green earth to get back in her good graces, so maybe Molly was right. All he could do was bide his time, keep a respectful distance from her and prove himself sincere by not shagging anyone while he was waiting. She was definitely worth waiting for, but if he couldn't convince her, there would be little left to live for. Despite what he had done, he did truly love her and didn't want to marry anyone else, now or ever.

Unfortunately, he was certain that not even 'Mione had the answer to this problem, not when she was basically part of it, as well as Hannah, Luna and the others. In addition, all the girls were at least engaged, so now that the war was over, he couldn't turn to them again for satisfaction. He'd done enough damage as it was and deserved to tough it out for however long it took to win Ginny back ... and whatever he had to do to prove himself, he would do it. The truest words he had ever spoken were when he had said he had ached for her every moment, loved only her, despite how it may have seemed. Hungered for her sweet lips, her arms around him, the feel of her body close to his. Her gentle touch, her soft voice crooning to him, her flowery perfume ...

Gin, I'm truly sorry to have hurt you so, and intend to do everything in my power to win you back, to convince you that I really do love you ... always have, always will. I know I deserve everything you dish out, and will gladly take it if it means eventually reinstating myself in your good graces. Of course, I wouldn't blame you if you never accepted me again after what I've done to you, however unintentionally. But however many have known my body, I can state unequivocally that you are the only one in my heart, now and for all time.