So Far Away

~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~

"Are you another escort?" Lily asked as she and James entered a Muggle taxi.

"Nah," the taxi driver said. "I've been paid extra ter do this. Gettin' you from the station, and all."

"Oh," Lily said. "So no change in escort, right?"

"I guess."

James grinned inwardly. Lily wanted him to stay. Or at least, it seemed that way. He hoped it was that way.

James put both of their bags in the trunk of the taxi (Lily had insisted on putting her bags in herself, but James said he could drive off with their luggage if they both weren't in the cab.) and went to sit down.

Lily was already sitting in the front, so James took the back. It wasn't nearly as roomy as it seemed, and James' legs were squashed up against the driver's seat. James noticed Lily kept biting her lip and looking around. He hoped she wasn't feeling too nervous. She obviously was.

"S from around here?"

Lily didn't answer. She was preoccupied with staring out the window. James decided to answer for her.

"No," he said.

"Where you from?"

"Hogsmeade," James said reflexively.

"Where's that?" the driver asked curiously.

"Hogsmeade? Oh it's-" he cut himself off. "Did I say Hogsmeade? I meant London." James looked at the driver cautiously.

"Oh," the driver said. At least, that what James thought he said. It sounded more like 'ow'. "London. That's a nice city."

"Yeah," said James, hoping he wouldn't ask him anything specific about London. James didn't know anything about Muggle London, and didn't want to sound stupid.

"What brings you 'ere?" the driver asked.

"Er..business," James said.

"What kinda business?"

"Well, I work making..er.." James faltered.

"Drills," Lily finished. "He works making drills."

"Drills, eh? I din' know there was a drill business 'ere"

"Oh yes," Lily said. "Fabulous drill company."

"I see," the driver said.

The car was silent for a while. Lily seemed to have gone back to being nervous, the driver seemed to have run out of conversational topics, and James was wishing they'd get to wherever they had to be because his legs were cramped. Plus he wanted to be able to comfort Lily; she looked like she needed it.

The driver seemed content to resort to an age-old topic. "You 'ear abou' the weather fer tomorrow?"

"No," James said.

Then, "We're 'ere." He stopped the car in front of an extremely large manor gate. "Want me ter drive up?"

James looked down the driveway. He couldn't even see the house. "What do you want to do, Lily?" he asked.

Lily shook herself a little. "We can walk. It's fine."

"'Right," said the driver.

James let himself out and got their bags. Then he opened Lily's door. "You coming, Lily?" he asked. It scared him a little, looking at her. She had seemed so strong before, now she looked almost helpless. What made it even worse was that she was trying to hide it.

"Yes," she said weakly. "Coming." She got out of the car and took her bags from James. The driver pulled away as soon as she was out. "Guess he already got his money," she said.

"Guess so," he said.

They walked in silence for a little while, Lily dragging her bags across the gravel of the driveway.

"I'll take some of your bags for you, if you want," James offered.

Lily looked over at him. "If I say no, you're only going to ask again, aren't you?"

"Probably."

"Then you can take them. But for the record, you're not taking because I'm weak."

"I never said you were weak!" James said indignantly.

"But I am," Lily said, stopping to give James her bags. "Look at me. I'm falling apart just because I have to get married. Plenty of people get married everyday and I bet they don't get like I am."

"You're marring someone you've never met," James pointed out. "And practically everyone about to married goes insane. You should have seen my sister."

"I'm only joking," Lily said. "And we'd better keep walking."

"I guess so," James said.

They were silent the rest of the way to the house. James didn't know what to say to Lily at a time like this, so he didn't say anything, as much as he would have liked to.

Soon, the house came into view. It wasn't really a house, actually; it was too big to be a house. It was more of a manor.

"Wow," James said.

"Wow," Lily agreed.

The manor was pure white, with Doric columns going around it. It had large windows and a balcony off the side. There were large green shrubs close to the perimeter, and a gray slate path leading up to the front door.

"It's pretty big," James said.

"Very plain," Lily commented. "No color."

"True," James said.

There was a tense moment. "I suppose I should walk up," Lily said, unable to hide the nervousness in her voice.

"You can always wait," James suggested.

"No," she said, her face straight. She would have looked confidant if she didn't keep biting her lip. "I'm going to go up now."

"Should I come?" James asked.

"If you want to," Lily said, not looking at him. She was focused more on the door.

"Whatever you want me to do," James said softly.

"Come."

"Alright," he said. "I'm coming."

~~~~~

Lily could feel her heart pounding in her chest as she approached the door. She could feel herself breathing heavily, and was aware that she was biting her lip so hard it hurt. Even having James next to her "Lily.." James said. She ignored him.

Finally, just as Lily was about to ring the doorbell, the door opened. A little girl was standing there, clad in a blue shirt with the buttons all in the wrong holes, jeans, and Mary Janes, which were put on the wrong feet. She had obviously dressed herself.

"Hi," the girl said.

"Hello," Lily said. "Who are you?"

"I can't give out information to strangers," the girl said, twisting her hands.

"Well, can you get someone I can talk to?" Lily tried.

"Okay," the girl said, running off and leaving the door wide open. Lily and James stepped just inside, closing the door behind them.

The sound of footsteps was heard, coming closer. It sounded like a man, and the girl, running along beside him. Lily wondered if the man was her fiancé.

"Hello," the man said as he came into view. He looked younger than her father, but not by too much. He had deep brown hair and a moustache, and was of about average height.

"Hello," Lily said, holding out her hand. "Lily Evans."

"Eugene Grenwich," he said, taking it. "I'm..well..I'm your fiancé."

Lily swallowed, not at all sure of what to say. She wanted to cry, but instead she forced a smile. "Good to finally meet you," she said.

"Yeah," he said, looking elsewhere.

"I'm Anne," the little girl said, coming up from behind Eugene.

"Hello Anne," Lily said, hoping Anne wasn't what she though Anne was.

"Anne's my daughter," Eugene said, confirming Lily's suspicions. Lily gulped.

"I didn't know you had a daughter,&quoow," she said.

Eugene looked at Lily. Lily looked back, undaunted. At least, she hoped she looked undaunted. She wasn't feeling that way at all. Everything was turning out exactly how she hadn't hoped for. A daughter. A daughter. Lily wanted to scream. So that's why this Eugene Grenwich had wanted to marry her. It made sense. Not that that made it any more comforting. Lily didn't want to be a mother. She didn't want to be a wife, either. Lily dropped her gaze and looked back at Anne.

"How old are you, Anne?" she asked.

"Six," Anne said, holding up six fingers. "I can count to six."

"Really?" said Lily uneasily.

"Wanna hear?" Anne asked. Then, not waiting for a reply, she said, "One, two, three, four, five, six."

"That's..that's nice," Lily said, turning back to Eugene. He was now looking at James.

"Who's this?" Eugene asked.

"James," Lily said. "He helped he get here."

"Oh," Eugene said. He looked back to Lily. "Is he expecting to stay the night?"

"I don't know," Lily said. She looked at James, who nodded. "Yes, he is."

Eugene sighed. It sounded like a growl. "Anne, show them to their rooms," he said.

"What's that mean?" she asked.

"Show us where our rooms are," James said when Eugene ignored his daughter and left the room.

"Okay," Anne said brightly, not the least disconcerted by the fact that her father was ignoring her. Perhaps it was a regular occurrence.

Lily and James glanced at each other, then followed the little girl up the stairs.

The stairs were longer than James expected. Sure, it was no Hogwarts staircase, but it seemed to come pretty close. Of course, that could have been because he was already exhausted, both mentally and physically. Mostly mentally. One didn't train five days a week in Quidditch for nothing.

James couldn't really see where they were going after reaching the top of the stairs; he was behind Lily, who was behind the little girl. Not that Lily took up a lot of space normally, but now she seemed to be swaying back and forth as she walked. She might have looked drunk from the front, James didn't know, but he was positive it was just because of all this happening to her. He knew he'd look worse than a little drunk if he were engaged to that Grenwich guy.

"Here's your room," the girl said to Lily, opening a door wide. James peered in to see that the room was white, just as the rest of the house. It also had some green vine-like-things painted onto the walls and some of the furniture. James didn't find it particularly appealing, but he was often told my women that he had no sense of interior decorating style.

Lily stepped into the room, looking relieved. She looked briefly at James, put on a brave sort of grimace, and closed the door behind her.

"So," James said to the girl. "Do I get a room?"

The girl twisted again. "I dunno."

"Well, this is a pretty big house, isn't it?" James said. "Don't you have one extra room that I can stay in?"

"Yeah," she said.

"Can you show it to me?"

"Yeah," she said, taking his hand. "Come with me."

The little girl pulled James down the corridor, then turned right, then right again, taking James to another corridor he was sure was parallel to the one Lily was staying in.

"I guess you can stay here," she said, opening the door and pushing him in gently.

"Thanks," James said. He gave the room a once over. It was mainly white (again). But this room had red patterns all over it instead of green. James felt it suited him. Kind of. "Hey," he said to the girl. "What's your name again?"

"Anne," she said simply.

"Oh," James said. "Thanks, Anne."

"You're welcome."

~~~~~

Lily woke up the next morning with a terrible headache. She rubbed her temples and took a few deep breaths. She still felt a pounding in her head, like a fist banging relentlessly.

"Miss Lily, I have a message for you!" a voice said from behind the door. It took Lily a while to realize that they were the ones banging.

"Coming," she said groggily, getting up and opening the door.

A young woman was behind the door, holding a silver tray with breakfast on it. "May I come in, Miss?" she asked.

"Oh, yeah, sure," Lily said, backing away so she could enter. The woman placed the tray on a table and cleared her throat.

"I have a message for you," she said, shaking her blond hair for no apparent reason.

"Okay," Lily said. "Shoot."

"Shoot? What does that mean, miss?"

"Just tell me the damn message.&quo of the girl, and meet me for dinner with her."

"That's it?" Lily asked.

"Yes."

"Isn't that a run-on sentence?"

"I'm just repeating what he said to me," the woman said.

"And should I assume that the girl he's talking about is Anne?"

"I guess," the woman said.

"All right then..er.."

"Heather," the woman said.

"Heather," Lily repeated.

The woman - Heather - left the room. Lily sighed and went over to the table where her breakfast sat. It looked good; Lily couldn't deny that much. After deciding that it wasn't poisoned, she began eating.

Just after she finished, someone was knocking on the door again. Not feeling like getting up, Lily said, "Come in." The door opened, emitting Anne.

"Hello, Anne," Lily said in what she hoped was a cheery voice.

"Hi," Anne said. "My dad said that I'm supposed to stay with you."

"Yes, he told me, too," Lily said.

"Oh," Anne said, twisting and looking down at the floor.

"So, Anne, what do you want to-"

"Are you my new mummy?" Anne said, looking up at Lily with tears forming in her eyes. Lily felt an insane urge to hug the child.

"Well," Lily said. "I'm going to take care of you. I'm not going to be your new mummy, exactly."

"But you're marrying my dad?"

"Yes," Lily said softly. Lily still didn't like to say the fact out loud.

"So that means you're my mum," Anne said.

&But the next morning, he woke up even earlier than Lily did. And it was on his own terms.

He wanted to go look for the kitchens to find some food, but he decided against it. He'd probably get lost, and then be found by that Grenwich guy and kicked out. And getting kicked out wouldn't help is situation any.

After about two hours of being bored out of his mind, someone knocked on the door. James opened the door and a blonde woman stepped in.

"Hello," James said. In another time, James would have been flirting up a storm right about now, but at the moment, he wasn't in the mood, and he didn't think Lily would like it too much if he did. Not that it would matter; he had no chance with Lily.

"I have your breakfast," she said, placing on a coffee table. "And a message."

"Shoot," he said.

The blonde looked at him quizzically, but James didn't' feel like saying anything else. "You are to leave here after finishing your meal," she said.

James dropped the toast he had been about to eat. "What? Why?"

"Mr. Grenwich says so."

"But.." James said. "Where will I go? What am I supposed to do?"

"That," the woman said. "is your problem."

"Why the hell should Grenwich care if I stay? He won't even notice me, for Merlin's sake!"

The woman looked at him strangely, perhaps because he just said 'Merlin.' "Well, Mr. Grenwich may not notice you," she said. "But he feels that his wife will."

James stared at the woman, open-mouthed. "How do you know what Grenwich thinks?"

The woman chuckled. "Oh," she said. "I have ways of knowing anything I want." She movedaid.

The woman obliged, and backed out of the room, smiling in what she must have thought was a seductive way. James just looked at her disgustedly and turned back to his toast.

~~~~~

Lily had no idea as to what to say to Anne. The girl seemed very upset about having Lily for a mother. Well, maybe not so much having her for a mother, but having a 'replacement' mother. Lily tried to put her arms around the child, but Anne wouldn't let her.

"I'm not going to be replacing anyone, you know," Lily said to Anne, who was turned away from her. Anne seemed so turn towards her a little, so Lily plunged forward. "I never knew your mum, but I'm sure she was the most wonderful mother in the world. I could never come close to her, and I'm not even going to try."

Anne turned around completely and faced Lily. "Really?" she said.

"Of course," Lily said.

Anne nodded, and smiled at Lily in an extremely trusting way. In a way it scared Lily, having someone so little and impressionable to take care of, but it made Lily happy as well. At least she'd have someone to talk to besides James in this forsaken manor, even if it was a six-year- old.

"Wanna say good-bye to that man you were with?" Anne said.

"What man?" Lily asked. "James?"

Anne shrugged. "I guess."

"Why do we have to say good-bye to him?"

"'Cause he's leaving today."

Lily stood up. "Why?"

"My daddy said he has to," Anne said matter-of-factly.

Lily's stomach did a few flips. "Let's go see him," she said, taking Anne's hand.

Anne led Lily to the next corridor over. They stopped at a large or with her fists. "Let me in, James, or I swear-"

The door opened.

"Lily," James said. "Hello."

"Hello," Lily said, suddenly finding her voice all but gone.

"You heard that I'm leaving, I guess," he said, gesturing for them to come in.

"Yes," Lily said.

"Disappointed?" James asked, the corners of his mouth tugging upward.

"Very," Lily said teasingly, even though it was true.

"I'm leaving in a few minutes, actually," he said, almost using his wand to close up his bag. Lily grabbed his arm and looked at him meaningfully.

"Oh, right," he said, lowering his wand.

Anne looked at both of them strangely. "What's that?" she asked.

"Nothing," Lily said. "Just a stick. And James knows not to play with sticks inside the house, right?"

"Oh, yeah," James said, pocketing his wand.

There was another knock on the door. Heather, the woman from before, walked in without waiting for permission.

"A taxi is waiting for you outside, Mr. Potter, to take you to wherever you have to go," she said.

Lily and James looked at each other. Lily wasn't quite sure of what to say to him.

"Bye, Lily," James said.

"Bye, James," Lily said, her eyes boring through him.

"Maybe I'll see you," he said. "I think your father invited me to the wedding."

"He did," Lily said, nodding.

"Save a dance for me?" he asked, picking up his bag.

"Sure," Lily replied, smiling a little bit.

"Good," James said, smiling back and turning towards the door. "Bye, Lily."

"Bye," Lily said as the door closed behind him.