If Only

"Ronald Weasley, do you always have to be so stupid?" Hermione yelled at the top of her lungs. Ron stood five feet away from Hermione looking as though he were torn between confusion and rage.

As Ron opened up his mouth to yell back at her, she was already halfway out the portrait, hauling her books behind her. Ron stood there, mouth gaping for a moment, before he turned to head up the stairs to the dormitory and mumbling under his breath the whole way.

"Totally missed the point...didn't even understand...the nerve!"

As he reached the stairs, Ron saw Harry standing at the bottom looking slightly annoyed. "Did you two have another row or something? I heard you shouting all the way up in our dorm."

Ron scowled slightly and pushed passed Harry. "I don't want to talk about it right now, Harry," he said.

"Ron, just tell her how you feel already," Harry said seriously.

Ron stopped dead in his tracks and whipped around to look at Harry. Ron's mouth was hanging open slightly and he was looking at Harry confused.

"What do you mean how I feel?" he asked him nervously, trying to keep the confused and angry expression on his face and failing miserably in his attempt.

Harry sighed and smiled knowingly at his best friend. "Just tell her you like her already, and save us all the trouble of hearing the two of you fight everyday. You might be surprised with what she says."

Ron's jaw dropped. "I...you know I...she...what-" he said stammering.

"You heard me," Harry yelled back to Ron as he stepped out of the portrait door and shut it with a bang.

Ron stared at the door where his two friends had just exited. He slowly turned and ran up the rest of the stairs, opening the door to the now empty room. He walked over to the windowsill and leaned on the edge, looking outside. There were several students scattered over the grounds, comparing notes, hurrying to their next class, or simply chatting in groups of friends.

Sighing he rested his head onto his arms and thought of what his best friend had just said to him.

"How did he know?" he muttered to himself.

Ron looked over at the tree that he, Harry and Hermione always sat underneath when they had extra time between classes. His picked his head up when he saw Hermione sitting under it, talking to Ginny. He stared down at her smiling, and watched her bushy brown hair blow in the breeze.

Every single time I see you I start to feel this way

It makes me wonder if I'm ever gonna feel this way again

There's a picture that's hanging at the back of my head

I see it over and over

Ron didn't know when he first realized that he had fallen in love with his best friend. He did remember feeling as if he were going to die when he saw Hermione lying petrified in the hospital bed. He almost cried as he watched her lay there as if she were dead, refraining from doing so only because Harry was there. Ron knew at that moment that if she were to ever die he didn't know if he himself could go on living.

Recently, Ron thought to himself as he snapped back to the present time, that feeling of love for Hermione had grown stronger. It felt like whenever he saw her in class, the common room, or the hallways, all he wanted to do was walk up to her and tell her how he felt. But for some reason every time that he tried to speak to her, they always ended up biting each other's heads off.

"That's the last thing I want," he said softly, speaking to himself. He was always pushing her away, and all he wanted to do was to take her in his arms and hold her.

I want to hold you and love you in my arms and then

I want to need you 'cause I need to be with you 'til the end

Then I hear myself reply she'll never let you in

This time, tonight.

Ron wandered over to his bed and flopped down. What if I told her, he thought. So much bad could come out of it. She could be totally disgusted by my even mentioning it that it would never be the same and our friendship would be ruined.

But, said another voice in his head, if you did tell her, you could be with her and hold her in your arms. You would finally be together.

Ron sat up on his bed and put his face in his hands. "I can't just walk up to her and say, 'Hermione, I love you.'"

If only I had the guts to feel this way

And if only you'd look at me and want to stay

And if only I'd take you in my arms and say

I won't go 'cause I need you

Knowing he couldn't sit around his dorm moping all afternoon, Ron rubbed his face with his hands, and stood up. He trotted back down the stairs to the common room table where his abandoned homework was. He sat down, picked up his potions essay, which was barely started, and started absentmindedly flipping the pages in his book. Although he was reading the information on the Veritaserum, his mind was elsewhere. He dropped his quill and stared blankly into the fire,

I sit here waiting wondering hoping that I'll make this right

'Cause all I think about is your hands

Your face and all these lonely nights

Ron heard Harry's words echo in his head. Just tell her you like her already, and save us all the trouble of hearing the two of you row everyday. You might be surprised with what she says. Ron knew Harry was right, even though he would never admit that to Harry personally.

He let the words sink into his mind a little deeper. Almost ten minutes had passed when he suddenly scooted his chair back and stood up. "I can't believe I'm going to do this," he said out loud.

"Do what?" came a voice behind him. Neville was sitting in a chair in the far corner looking at him curiously.

Ron turned to Neville and held out his hand as if to tell him to stop. "Don't make me talk Neville, I might throw up if I do." With that he quickly headed for the commons door.

"Good luck," Neville called after him. Ron turned and saw Neville grinning at him with a knowing smile. Ron's stomach lurched again and he ran out of the room.

A few minutes later, Ron reached the door that led outside. As he grabbed the handle, he stopped and took another deep breath. "I still can't believe this. This is really not me. What if she says she hates me?"

I want to hear you say

It'll always be this way

We'll be hand in hand for every night and every day

He opened the door and walked out into the sunshine. Ron spotted Hermione sitting under the tree that they usually all sat under. He marched over there with determination on his face. As he approached the tree, Ron saw Harry nod at him with a sly grin on his face and mouthed "About time."

Ron's eyes widened as Harry said, "Hey, Ron. Ginny and I were just leaving to, er, discuss some quidditch plays, what with her being on the team now and all. Right, Ginny?"

Ginny picked her head up from the book she was reading. "What? You never mentioned anything-"

"You know, what I was telling you before," Harry said cutting her off. Ron heard him put special emphasis on the last three words and give her a meaningful look

"Harry, I don't know what you are--oh," she said, eyes wide open, finally realizing what Harry was trying to say. "Yeah that play you were talking about. Now I remember. Er, see you two later."

Ginny and Harry stood up and started to walk back towards the castle. Harry gave Ron a little nod and half smile. Ginny on the other hand, squeezed Ron's arm as she passed him, whispering a quick, "Good Luck" in his ear.

Ron's face turned white and then green as he watched them go. He turned and faced Hermione swallowing the lump that was in his throat. She was buried in a book and acting as if the following scene hadn't even happened.

"H-Hermione," he said stammering, "Erm, could I have a word with you?"

"Hm," she mumbled into her book, not raising her eyes to acknowledge Ron was even there. She must have been still angry at him because of the fight they had a little over an hour ago.

"I have something I need to tell you."

"Go on," she said with a huff, still buried in the pages.

Ron's anger slightly rose again. "Hermione, could you pull your nose out of the book for five seconds so I can talk to you?" he said with a slight edge to his voice.

I want to scream and shout

'Cause I'm losing any doubt

And all I care about is you and me and us and now

Hermione lifted her head up quickly. "If all you want to do is yell at me I'd rather not talk." She slammed her book shut and started to pack up her things to leave.

"I didn't mean--Just give me ten seconds and you can leave if you want. But after I've said what I've needed to say for a long time."

Hermione paused in packing her things. She sighed heavily and looked over at him, not meeting his eyes.

"I'm listening."

Ron swallowed hard and knelt down next to her. His shaking hand grabbed her small steady one. Hermione looked up at him surprised, blushing a wonderful pink color in her cheeks . Ron looked down at his hand grabbing hers, and swallowed hard again, forgetting what he was going to say.

"Ron," Hermione said softly, "What did you want to say?"

Ron looked up into Hermione's chocolate brown eyes, which were staring into his own blue ones. His nervousness started to melt, and his hands stopped shaking, just from looking in her eyes like that.

"Hermione," he said more steadily than before, "I know you must think me an idiot. The way I talk to you and treat you. Maybe I am. But I never mean to hurt you."

He looked down at her hand in his. Now her hand was trembling. Looking back up into her eyes, he said the words he had wanted to say for the past few years.

"Hermione Granger, I love you so much."

Hermione let the words sink in her mind for a few seconds, not believing this was really happening.

"I love you too, Ron." She threw her arms suddenly around his neck and kissed him straight on the lips.

Before Ron knew what was happening, she pulled away, gathered her books and took off running. He looked at her bewildered. "Hermione?" he shouted questioningly

"I've got to go see Ginny," she yelled over her shoulder. She stopped quickly and turned back to look at him, eyes shining. "I love you Ronald Weasley."

Hermione smiled at him, turned around and ran towards the castle.

Ron's face was still formed in the dumbfounded look as he watched her run back. He got up off the ground, and stood there as Hermione disappeared into the castle.

Please don't go, cause I need you now...

Ron's face slowly turned into a sheepish grin. He stared at the door for a second before whispering, "I love you too, Hermione."