The Ultimate Power

Your body's cold,
Hope is lost,
I can't let go.
Can I die with you so we can never grow old?
Cut the ties,
With this note you left behind,
As I read the words I hear you telling me why.

Too late, too late,
I never said goodbye
Too late, too late,
Can't even ask you why.
Now I'm wasting,
Away in my own misery.
I hope you're finally gone,
To a place where you belong.

My sadness shows,
As your name is carved in stone,
Can't erase the words so the reality grows.
I wish I died,
On that right by your side,
So just kill me now and let the good times roll.

Too late, too late,
I never said goodbye
Too late, too late,
Can't even ask you why.
Now I'm wasting,
Away in my own misery.
I hope you're finally gone,
To a place where you belong.

-Bullet for my Valentine (A Place Where You Belong)

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A Place Where You Belong

July 1, 1998

It was not the ideal day for a funeral. The sun was too bright, the clouds too full of cotton, and the birds too merry in their songs. They buried Holli in a graveyard along the River Tweed in Peebles, where she could watch the water flow for the rest of eternity as she was wont to do. The sun sparkled like thousands of diamonds upon the blue-grey surface and Remus' hand once more went to the object still held in his pocket. Holli would have loved to be here on this day, in the sunshine and breeze, he thought morosely.

Remus heard a burst of murmuring some ways behind him and turned to see a slightly built man taking a small podium positioned next to the newly dug grave. He squared his shoulders and walked forward into the small crowd.

The man spoke, but Remus did not listen. No stranger could ever hope to adequately describe Holli. Even the closest of friends, or Remus himself for that matter, as well as he had known her, could not put into words the wonderful and gloriousness of the girl they were being forced to lay to rest. She deserved words as truly beautiful as she had been, but those words did not exist. Remus knew that they never would.

As the onyx black casket was lowered into the ground, the Order members, dressed in solid black robes with a golden phoenix emblazoned across their heart, raised their wands to the sky and shot off so many different coloured sparks that it was dazzling to the naked eye. When one died in the service of the Order, their sacrifice was noted and they were treated as royalty.

Remus' dead heart cried.

He waited for the people gathered in front of the open grave to disperse before he stepped forward and stared down into its depths. He collected a handful of earth and clutched it in his palm tightly as he clenched his eyes closed.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I'm so sorry, love. I promised you I would always protect you, and...and I wasn't able to." He released the dirt and watched as it slowly fell from within his hand, blending almost perfectly with the black as though mocking him. A chill swept down his spine and he turned and walked away.

"Hullo?" a tentative voice said from behind him.

Remus turned to see a young woman gazing at him with curious blue eyes. She was short and petite with dirty blonde hair bordering almost on mousy brown. She wore a slight, polite smile though it didn't reach her sad and mournful eyes.

"You're Remus, aren't you?" she questioned speculatively. "Remus Lupin?"

"I am," he answered in bemusement. "Do I know you?"

"No," she said with a shake of her head, "but I've heard quite a great deal about you." The woman stepped forward and offered her hand to Remus. "I'm Janie Greene."

"Oh," he released on a breath of air, "I'm sorry, I didn't know."

Janie's lips twitched. "It's all right." She glanced behind her at the grave before turning her eyes back to Remus'. "She wouldn't have blamed you, you know?" she murmured softly.

"Pardon?" Remus asked, not understanding.

"Holli," Janie replied, "she wouldn't have blamed you for not protecting her. My friend - my sister, really, depending upon how you look at it - was always fiercely independent. I always got the feeling it was so that if something went wrong, or didn't quite work out the way it was supposed to, she only ever had one person to blame." Janie looked down at her shoes and swallowed hard, fighting back tears with obvious effort. "She cared a great deal about you, Remus; about all of you." She glanced back up at him. "I was always happy that she found people she could trust. It's not something that ever came easily to her."

Remus swallowed as well. "We loved her." I loved her. "She was everything to us." She was everything to me. "We'll miss her." I don't know how to say goodbye; I can't.

Janie gazed at him knowingly, as though reading everything he truly wanted to say through his eyes. Remus glanced away, unable to meet the level quality of her blue stare. There were people milling all about, a sense of melancholy lingering like a dark cloud over everything.

He saw Harry talking amongst the Weasleys in solemn serenity. Hermione was standing beside Ron, holding his hand but staring off into the distance. Remus followed her gaze to where a small, stone mausoleum stood in the distance of the cemetery. He thought he saw a shadow move behind it, but when he looked back, it was gone. On the other side of the gathering stood Hope Fallen, arms crossed over her chest and glaring in anger. Jenx Fallen turned and walked away from his ex-wife, rage covering his eyes like storm clouds.

Remus and Janie exchanged a few more glum words before they parted company. Remus glanced back at the corner of the mausoleum, searching for the shadow, before shrugging and walking to the river bank. He sighed deeply and seated himself on its edge, staring at the crystal surface without really seeing it.

He didn't know how long he had sat there, trapped within his own disparaging thoughts, when he felt a presence behind him. He turned and glanced up, shielding his eyes from the sun so that he could make out the form of Harry.

"All right?" Harry asked softly, scuffing the toe of his polished shoe over the grass.

"As well as I can be," Remus answered, turning his eyes back to the river.

Harry grunted in reply before asking, "Care if I join you?"

Remus shook his head and Harry took up an empty patch of ground beside him. They sat in silence for a long while, simply listening to the sounds of rushing water below them and the insects buzzing by their ears.

"It wasn't your fault, you know," Harry told him softly. "Voldemort...he wanted her dead. There's not much could be done about that."

Remus snorted. "If I had just told her what I was really thinking instead of skirting around the issue, none of this would have happened." His hand convulsed in his pocket. "She died thinking that I didn't love her, Harry. Nothing I do can make that right."

"That's not true, Remus," Harry replied vehemently. "She knew you loved her. You just...bruised her heart a bit, that's all."

"That doesn't make it any better, Harry." Remus closed his eyes, trying to bury his grief along with the black casket. He withdrew his hand from his pocket slowly, clutching the ever-present object tightly. Remus opened his eyes and unfurled his finger, showing Harry what was within his palm.

Harry looked at him in puzzlement for a moment before his eyes widened. "I don't understand," he said, mouth becoming dry.

"I was going to ask her to marry me," Remus whispered, eyes watching the sun glint off the small diamond. "That night, actually." He shook his head and wrapped his fingers around the ring. "I know it doesn't make any sense, I do. I was bloody terrified of people finding out about us; what would come of it. At the same time, though, I knew that no matter what, Holli was all that truly mattered to my existence. So long as I had her in my life, I had everything." He shoved his hand back into his pocket roughly. "I never thought I'd lose her so easily."

They collapsed back into silence, Remus gazing at the surface of the river as Harry continued to stare, speechless, at Remus. They remained that way until the Weasleys journeyed up.

"Are you ready to go home?" Molly asked them both.

Though Remus followed the family to a safe point for Apparition, he couldn't help thinking that even if he was ready to go home, he really couldn't. His home was gone, lying in a black box under a mountain of earth and sorrow.

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A/N: Interlude is next! Thanks to easleyweasley!