The Ultimate Power

Could you forgive me if I told you that I cared
Would you be sorry if I swore that I'd be there
Please forgive me for laughing when you fall
I'm so sorry, but I never cared at all!

Just walk away, make it easy on yourself
Just walk away, please release me from this Hell
Just walk away, there's just nothing left to feel
Just walk away, pretend that none of this is real

-Five Finger Death Punch (Walk Away)

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Walk Away

June 28, 1998

Remus was oblivious to everything around him, wrapped in a deep cocoon of sleep and dreams. The warmth of the summer settled over him like an extra blanket within the snug bed and he burrowed deeper into the embrace of the sheets while he slept.

Across the room, a dark silhouette moved stealthily through the room, feet padding noiselessly across the hard wood floor. The figure paused in its movements at the foot of the bed and watched the sleeping bundle for a silent moment. Suddenly, the shadow crouched down on its haunches as though preparing to launch itself into the air. There was a shifting of weight and a sudden advance forward as the figure leapt off the floor.

"Remus!" it squealed as it landed, straddling the now awake and startled werewolf.

"What?" he asked in groggy alertness. His eyes squinted and took in the prone form splayed across his hips and reached a finger out gingerly to prod the soft skin of a cheek experimentally. "Holli?"

"'Course it's me, you daft sod," she scoffed. "Who else would it be?"

"I'm not sure," he responded, rubbing a hand over his eyes. "Though I never thought even you had the energy or reason to pounce on me in the middle of the night."

"Well, now you know, don't you?" Holli said, grinning in the darkness, teeth gleaming in the pale light provided by the window.

Remus snorted. "Suppose I do, yes." He peered at Holli in confusion for a moment. "Why did you do it, exactly? I'm still not too clear on that part, love."

"Because I want you to come outside with me," she answered, grin widening. "It's too beautiful out to be wasting it sleeping."

Remus looked longingly at the bed covers. "It really was a nice sleep," he said mournfully.

"Yes, yes," Holli burst, brushing his words aside, "and you'll have plenty others. C'mon!" She pulled feebly on Remus' arm.

Remus' mind was slowly beginning to work and he retaliated quickly by wrapping his other arm around her waist and pulling her down onto the bed, rapidly switching their positions. He beamed down at Holli while she glared up at him looking mildly disoriented.

"What'd you do that for?" she snapped testily.

"I think," he murmured, trailing his lips over the shell of her ear, "that we should just stay here instead, don't you?" He nipped gently at the tender skin behind her earlobe and growled faintly. "It's quite nice here as well, don't you think?"

Holli forcefully pushed down a shiver of desire at the light shining from his eyes and pouted as best as she could manage. "No, I don't think so," she complained. "What I would like is to go outside and see the stars."

"I'll make you see stars," he countered, lips working against her neck and her breath caught in her chest. Remus grinned wickedly into the skin of her throat, his tongue slipping out and moistening the soft flesh.

"What if I want to see both?" Holli attempted weakly.

Remus huffed out a breath and lifted his head, staring down at her in utter astonishment.

He shook his head and chuckled. "No matter how much I try, I don't think I'll ever fully understand you," he told her reverently.

"Which just makes you love me all the more," Holli said with a smile, propping herself up on her elbows.

"Yes," he agreed, "yes, it does."

Holli grinned and leaned up to kiss his wistful lips. "About those stars..." she said when she pulled away.

"Which ones?" Remus asked with a snort.

Her eyes sparkled mischievously in the darkness. "Both," she answered and Remus laughed as she pulled him from the bed and out into the back garden.

They settled on the slightly damp grass, Holli relaxed and sprawled haphazardly across the ground as though she hadn't a care in the world. Remus positioned himself beside her, keeping his limbs held close to his body modestly. They gazed upwards at the night sky in silence, lost in their own thoughts, studying and critiquing. Beauty in that magnitude, Remus realised, was impossible to take in within any one lifetime. It was magnificent.

He sighed and offered an open arm to Holli as she rolled over into his embrace, her head lying upon his shoulder. The soft smell of her hair was intoxicating to his mind and he took a long moment to regain his previous thoughts.

"After I was bitten, my mum used to bring me out here at night and tell me stories about the moon," he spoke softly. Holli's head twitched, but her eyes did not move from the heavenly blanket before them. "I suppose she thought it would help to ease my fear."

"Did it?" Holli questioned gently.

"You know, I think it did," he answered, "a bit."

Her eyes turned to his face, searching for something. "Do you remember any of them?"

Remus hummed in reply. "Would you like to hear one?"

"I would." Holli nodded her head in assent.

"Let's see," he thought out loud, "I suppose I'll tell you my favourite.

"The Sun, though the complete opposite of its counterpart, was in love with the Moon. He decided he wanted to marry her and spend every day and every night by her side. The Moon, though, knew this would never work, so she planned a way to keep the Sun at bay. She told the Sun that if he provided her with a gift that would fit her size indefinitely, she would marry him. The mighty Sun produced for her the most magnificent and beautiful robe ever seen. Yet, it did not fit.

"The Sun provided the gorgeous Moon with another size, but that one did not fit her either. Every gift he offered was always too big or too small. The Sun puzzled over this problem, but he could not understand her trickery. Had the Sun paid more attention, however, he would have realised his mistake and that it was quite simple. The Moon is never the same size. Every day that passes, so do her phases. From full to new, she is ever changing and never quite the same as she was before. To this day, the despairing Sun is still searching for a robe that is perfect enough to fit his precious Moon."

Holli muffled a snort of amusement into the fabric of Remus' shirt. "Poor Sun," she said, eyes sparkling, "thwarted by the devious ways of a woman."

"Yes," Remus replied dryly. "It took me quite some time and a general knowledge of the female population before I understood the double meaning of that tale. My mother was quite amused."

"I'm sure," Holli laughed. "I'd like to meet a woman who wouldn't be." She was silent for a long moment, gazing at the distant moon, hanging half-hidden behind the tree tops of the grove. "Why was that one your favourite?"

Remus wiggled and readjusted a bit, attempting to locate a more comfortable position on the grass. "I think...it helped me to forgive the moon for what I had to endure. My mother's story made me believe that it wasn't the moon's fault that she had to change and bring my change along with hers. It was comforting, in a way."

"Weren't you angry at the sun instead?"

"Shockingly, no," he answered. "Even as a child, I knew love was an uncontrollable force. They way I looked at it was how was I to blame anyone or anything for something that was out of any power's control?" Holli smiled bemusedly up at him. "What?"

"And you say I'm intriguing."

Remus snorted. "I'm hardly a complicated puzzle, Holli."

"Oh," she sighed, "I believe you are."

He shook his head as Holli settled back against him, eyes focused on the sky. They fell into silence again, their breaths coming slowly and easily, merging together as they emerged into the mild night air.

"So," Holli finally hedged, "tomorrow..."

"Yeah," Remus agreed. He looked down at her, nibbling his lip. "Are you sure you're ready to do this?"

"Yes," she replied almost immediately. "There's no reason for us to hide anymore, Remus. We're not benefitting from it in any way and we're lying to the people we care about." She cast a sour look at the garden wall. "I hate lying."

Remus hummed but made no further reply. She was right, of course. If was for the best; for them and for everyone else as well. At the same time, there was a niggling feeling of caution in the back of his mind, begging him to reconsider the agreement. He shoved it further away and focused instead on Holli. He could feel her breath steady after a while and saw her eyes flutter closed as she journeyed towards sleep. As he slowly followed her, his thoughts drifted up to Speranza's attic and the other treasure he had discovered there months before. Perhaps, if all went well at her father's, it was time to consider pulling it out.

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"Hullo, love," Holli greeted as Remus walked through the door later that evening. He smiled and placed a kiss upon her forehead, idly fiddling with the object in his pocket nervously. "Food's on the cooker; should be ready in a bit if you're hungry."

"Famished," he replied benignly.

She beamed as she pulled him down the hall and into the kitchen. "Good."

Remus settled himself against the counter as he watched Holli tend to their meal. She hummed under her breath for a moment as she focused on her task before turning to him and asking, "So, what did McGonagall have to say?"

He shrugged nonchalantly. "She offered me the Defense post again for next term."

Holli squeaked in delight. "That's wonderful, Remus! I suppose this means the curse is broken, yeah?"

He grinned as he pulled her into his arms gently. "I suppose it does," he replied, placing a kiss between her eyebrows before moving down to her lips.

"I'm incredibly happy for you," she murmured when he pulled away.

"Thank you," Remus said softly. There was a sizzle as something splattered across the cooker. "Er...I think that was part of our dinner."

"What - oh, blast," she muttered as she rounded on the mess. Remus chuckled as she attempted to salvage what was left from her distraction. She shook her head once she had it under control again and turned back to Remus. "You see, this is why you are banned from this kitchen when I'm cooking. You're a wonderful form of entertainment, but the food tends to suffer the consequences."

"Along with our pitiful stomachs, yes," he replied dryly.

"Yes," she said, pulling a disgruntled face. "On a different note, I've spoken with everyone who originally said they were coming tomorrow and they all say they are still planning to." She paused for a moment, staring pensively into a small pot containing some sort of soupy concoction. "I suppose we should discuss what we're going to say, exactly."

Remus' stomach twisted traitorously in response to the subject. "Holli," he began.

"I mean," she continued obliviously, "we certainly don't want to say it all out right. We'll want to take a gentler approach."

His fingers twitched spasmodically around the object his pocket held. "Holli," he tried again, a bit louder.

Holli paid him no mind. "Perhaps we should consider just doing something in front of everyone; not actually telling them, you know? I could grab you and kiss you or something. You know, in a place that seems private, but we know really isn't."

"Holli," Remus ground out, losing patience quickly.

"Yeah, that's probably not the best idea, is it? What if we started by saying -"

"Holli!" Remus shouted, finally gaining her attention as her head jerked up from the bubbling food. Her eyes were wide with shock and surprise as Remus massaged the bridge of his nose.

"I'm sorry, love, I didn't mean to shout," he told her softly, "but you weren't listening. I had to get your attention."

"Sorry," she apologised meekly. "You know how I get sometimes. I don't mean to."

"I know," he replied gently.

"What were you trying to say?"

"I just - I was just thinking that maybe - maybe we might want to reconsider our plans for tomorrow," he murmured.

Holli's eyes narrowed suspiciously. "Why?"

His fingers worked incessantly around the object as he thought over his rehearsed speech. "Don't - don't you think that maybe it's a bit too soon for everyone to know about us?" Remus held up a hand as Holli began to protest. "I know it's been eight months, Holli, but we have enough odds going against us without adding the opinions of our friends and your family into the mix."

"Harry accepted us with little complaint," she argued.

"Harry's one person, Holli," he countered smoothly.

"And one person can change the minds of thousands, Remus. You know that!" She threw her hands into the air and paced the length of the kitchen a couple of times before coming to a stop again and turning her gaze back to Remus. "Are you reconsidering this whole thing? Is that what this is? Not just our decision about tomorrow, but everything?"

"No!" he all but shouted, his voice raising a few octaves. "No, Holli, not at all."

"Then what is it?" she questioned softly, staring at the floor. "Please tell me because I truly don't understand why you've suddenly changed your mind. We're so close, Remus. So close to being able to really live our lives; live them the way we're supposed to."

"I just think it's too soon," he pleaded with her. "Let's just wait, only for a little while."

"'A little while'," she scoffed, her eyes rising to meet his. "'A little while' extending another year, five years, ten years. Until it stretches out so far that we're on our deathbeds and the people we care about still have no idea what we mean to one another." Her eyes burned into his, melting his soul until there was nothing left for him to feel. "This may be aiming below the belt, Remus, but I really don't care at this point. If you really, truly love me, the way you claim to, you'll come tomorrow and you'll help me tell everyone what we've known for months."

Remus seethed beneath his skin and before he could stop himself, he lashed out. "Well, maybe I don't love you then!" he snarled at her, face contorting in brief fury.

Holli jerked back as though stung and her back ran into the opposite counter. She stared at him in disbelief for a long moment, eyes glowing with shock. She lowered them to the floor and Remus immediately wanted to apologise, tell her it was a mistake, he didn't mean what he'd said. He couldn't convince his mouth to work, however. He was frozen in place, staring at the wilting girl in front of him.

Her mouth worked soundlessly for a handful of seconds before she gave up. She turned towards the hall door, eyes looking everywhere but at Remus. She walked out and a moment later, he heard the door click shut faintly.

The moment he heard the noise, he unfroze and bolted down the hall. He grappled with the door, a string of apologies already falling from numb lips. He managed to finally jerk the door open, but by then, Holli was already gone, his heartfelt words falling upon the deaf ears of the browning grass beneath his feet.

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Holli knocked on the door and waited patiently for an answer. There was a shuffle of noise a moment later and the door was thrown open to reveal a jolly looking Mrs. Weasley. The woman took one look at Holli and pulled her within the Burrow, closing the door behind her.

"Holli, dear, are you all right?" the elder woman asked softly.

Holli smiled slightly, though it didn't reach her eyes. "I'm fine, Mrs. Weasley. I was wondering if Harry was in."

"Yes, he is," she answered and made to move away. "Give me just a mo and I'll call him."

"Thank you," Holli murmured.

A few moments later there was the sound of footsteps on the risers and Harry emerged around the corner.

"Holli?" he questioned, scrutinising her face. "You all right?"

Holli shrugged before saying, "You care to come outside with me?"

" Of course not," he answered, leading her out the door, Mrs. Weasley's eyes following them all the way. Once outside, Harry allowed Holli to lead him to where ever she wanted to go. They journeyed to the stone wall on the very outskirts of the garden and Holli seated herself upon it, Harry following suit.

"What's the matter, Holli?" he asked after she was silent for a long while. Her eyes flicked up to his for a brief moment before moving back to the distance horizon.

"I had a fight with Remus," she answered quietly.

"Tell me about it," he prodded soothingly.

Holli began slowly, telling him about her and Remus' plans to tell everyone about their relationship at her father's do the next day. After she talked for a while, she gained momentum and the whole story was pouring from between her lips, omitting not even a single word. When she was finished, Harry was silent for a long time, considering what she had told him.

Finally, he said, "Do you really think he meant it? That he didn't love you, I mean."

"I - I don't know," she replied wearily. "Why would he say it if he didn't?"

"Well," Harry said pensively, "he has done something like this in the past, remember? Remus tends to say things he doesn't truly mean when he's focused on something else."

"I know, but this isn't like the last time, Harry," Holli whispered, fingering the fabric of her jeans. "This isn't just some random thought. It's - it's a confession of sorts, isn't it?"

"Maybe," Harry grudgingly agreed, "but maybe not."

"What are you talking about, Harry?" She barely managed to keep the snap of impatience from her voice.

"Maybe he said it because he's worried about you and it was the only thing he could do to stop you from hurting your own self."

"You're not making any sense whatsoever," she told him caustically.

"Holli," Harry sighed, "he's twenty years older than you, and everyone knows he's a werewolf. It's not too far out of the realm of possibility that Remus is afraid of your dad's judgment. If your dad doesn't accept your choice, Remus knows it'll force you to choose between him and your family. Can you really expect him to willingly want to place you in that position?"

Holli frowned as she thought over what Harry had said. After a moment she said, "I suppose you have a point." She shook her head. "God, I feel so selfish sometimes. I never even thought about how any of this would affect Remus. If you're right, that's all he's been doing, worrying about me. I feel horrid."

Harry wrapped his arm awkwardly around her shoulders and squeezed her against his side. "Don't fret over it. Remus loves you, Holli; I can see it in his eyes. It's a wonder no one else has figured any of this out yet, they way you two go about."

She shook her head. Just as she was opening her mouth to say something, a shout rang out from behind the Burrow.

"Oi! Harry, where are you?" Ron called desperately.

The two friends glanced at one another quickly before leaping from the wall and darting to their frantic friend.

"What's wrong?" Holli asked.

"Thank Merlin you're here, Holli," Ron panted. "One more person we don't have to try and call." He turned serious eyes upon them. "Death Eaters. We're all heading out again."

Holli whistled as they ran to the edge of the Burrow's property where the wards ended. "Twice in a week's time," she commented lightly.

"Yes," Ron grumbled sarcastically, "aren't we so very lucky?" Half of a second later, they disappeared into nothing with only a faint 'pop' signaling their departure.

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One hour after Holli had walked out, Remus stepped back through the front door of Speranza Cottage, sighing wearily in exhaustion from worry and heartache. He had searched everywhere he thought that the witch would go. He had checked in with Tom at the Leaky Cauldron and then wandered Diagon Alley for a bit, thinking she might have gone there and roamed aimlessly, clearing her head. He had even searched at Hogwarts and in Hogsmeade, but with no luck anywhere. His last chance was the Burrow.

Why he hadn't considered that in the first place, he would never know. If Holli wanted to talk about what had happened with anyone, her only choice was Harry. Remus shook his head as he kneeled down on the hearth in front of the fire and Flooed the Weasleys' home.

"Hello," he called as the flames flared green, "anyone home?"

"Remus?" Molly called. "Remus, is that you?" She appeared in the living room looking frazzled and terrified. "Oh, thank Merlin!"

"Molly, what's happening?" he asked in panic.

"You don't know?" she said, eyes growing wider in fright.

"Know what?" His heart plummeted somewhere round his knees.

"Kingsley said he was calling you. The Order's gone out," she answered. "Death Eaters again."

"When?" he asked, terror threatening to collapse his throat.

"Twenty minutes ago," she replied. "Kingsley didn't contact you?"

"I was out," he told her. "I - looking for Holli. I must have missed him."

"She was here, dear," Molly replied, glancing over her shoulder where Remus spied her family clock upon the couch. "She left with Harry and Ron. I don't know where they went. They didn't tell me; there wasn't time."

"All right," Remus said, trying to remain calm. "I'll go and see if I can find out where they are. Just stay put and let me know if you hear anything."

"I will, dear," she promised. "Be safe."

He provided her with a wan smile before pulling his head out of the flames and moving towards the door again.

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Holli was suspicious; incredibly so. When they had first arrived, what they had started fighting was not a battle. No, it was full out war. Voldemort's forces had swarmed on them like bees from an angry hive. There had been no place to turn; no place to run; no place to hide. Everywhere they had looked, there was an enemy with fire in their eyes and death upon their lips. Now, however, the Death Eaters were falling almost too easily. There were no Muggles. There was no one in danger. No one except the Order. It was a trap; plain and simple.

A trap for who, though, was the only thing Holli had yet to figure out. She could only assume it was Harry, and she tried her best to keep a close eye upon him at first. She had been distracted before too long, however, and now Harry had disappeared somewhere with Ron at his side and she had no idea where they were and if they were still safe. She was terrified, but she refused to show it. She grinned bloodlessly instead.

"Holli!" Hermione shouted from behind her. "On your left!"

She spun and flipped the oncoming masked figure upside down with a wave of her hand. She let the person drop after a disorienting moment and it landed with a grunt of pain before it became silent and moved no more, completely unconscious.

Five minutes into the fight, Holli had stored her wand away and reverted to using her own brand of magic instead. The wand only hindered her and the way those first few minutes had happened, she had had no room to fool around. When things had begun to turn in their favor, she had considered pulling it back out again, but once she realised what the Death Eaters were truly up to, she had dismissed the idea quickly.

She heard pounding footsteps approach her from behind and she spun again to see another Death Eater charging her with his wand raised. He had lost his mask sometime during the fight and the look upon his haggard face was pure rage. She didn't recognise him, but it hardly mattered.

"Cruc -" he began, but Holli sent a shock racing straight through his body.

The man froze as a look of brief pain crossed his face. It ended quickly and he gasped for breath for a moment. Holli took the advantage and twitched her hand, sending a great gust of air slamming directly into his chest. He flew backwards and landed ten feet away upon the ground, hard. Holli laughed.

"Holli!" Harry shouted in distress from a distance away. She glanced to see him and Ron standing, petrified. She felt a short burst of relief before she turned to look behind herself and saw the once unconscious Death Eater pointing a wand directly at her.

"Avada Kedavra!" a man's voice screamed in triumph. A bright flash of green light appeared in her still grinning face before everything went dangerously dark.

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Remus paced back and forth in front of the fireplace. He had been doing so for the past hour. Every now and then he would come back to himself enough to glance down to see if there was a path carved out into the floor from his persistent steps. Within seconds, he would be lost again to the realm of thoughts, worries and fears.

He had tried everyone in the Order. The only ones he had found who were not on the mission were the members, like Molly Weasley, who had stayed behind and knew nothing of where the others were or what was happening.

He and Molly had been alternating in their information checks. First she would Floo Remus and see if he knew of anything. Ten minutes later, Remus would Floo Molly and asked the same questions. The answers were always the same.

"I'm sorry."

"No, no word yet."

"They're still out there. No one knows what's going on except them."

Remus was going mad. He was pulling more and more clumps of hair out by the second and if he looked back, he knew there would be a consistent trail following him. Remus looked at the clock. It had been fifteen minutes since the last call and, by the way they had been doing things, it was Molly's turn. She was five minutes late.

She must know something, he thought desperately as he dove to the fireplace. They must be back! He threw a handful of powder onto the flames and called for the Burrow just as a knock sounded on his door. He ignored it in favour of the head that appeared on the opposite end of the connection.

"Molly!" He nearly leapt through the grate in his haste to acquire some information on what was happening. "Are they back? Is everything all right?"

Another knock sounded. He ignored again.

Molly stared at him for a long moment, her face suspiciously closed off and void of any form of emotion. "Yes," she responded finally, "they're back. Go and answer your door, Remus, dear."

"Forget the bloody damn door! Whoever it is can bugger off! What happened?"

"Remus!" she all but snapped. Her voice softened as her mask began to crack and her bottom lip twitched slightly. "Go, please, and answer your door. We'll talk later." Molly's head disappeared and the connection broke.

Remus quickly jerked backwards before the returning orange flames could burn him and rounded on the door as yet another, more insistent, knock sounded. He pulled the door back violently and was startled to see Harry standing on his steps.

"Harry?" he asked bemusedly, but with a great surge of relief. "I'm glad you're all right." He moved backwards out of the doorway enough to allow Harry access to the hall behind him. "Why are you here?"

Harry was wearing the same mask Molly had been and Remus began to panic slightly, but he forced it down and focused on his best friend's son.

"Let's go into the living room, Remus," he said, nodding his head in the direction of the room. Remus did not move and Harry walked past him, forcing the older man to follow him.

Harry walked to the fire and stared down at the flickering flames. His face was cast in shadow and Remus couldn't see that his mask had cracked as well.

"Harry," Remus began tentatively, "where's Holli?"

The younger wizard did not answer.

"If you're here because of what happened," the werewolf tried again, "I didn't mean what I said. I was - I just didn't want her to get into something she couldn't get out of. I care too much about her to place her in that sort of position. I'm sorry that I hurt her. Again."

"I know," Harry murmured softly to the mantle. "I know why you did what you did. That's not why I'm here, Remus." Remus was watching when the boy's shoulders began to shake.

"Harry," he said, fear and panic gripping his heart in clawed hands, "why are you here?"

The raven haired wizard slowly turned away from the fireplace. He looked at Remus, body trembling, eyes glassy with unshed tears he was too proud to let fall.

"Because I'm the only one who could tell you the way you deserved to be told," he replied despondently.

"Where's Holli, Harry?" Remus demanded. His heart dropped from the claws and fell to the floor.

Harry clenched his eyes closed, refusing to look at the other man for a moment. Finally, he lifted his green gaze to meet Remus' brown and they were filled with so much sorrow that Remus didn't think he could bear it.

"I'm sorry, Remus," Harry said. Remus' heart stopped beating.

"No," he whispered.

"I tried," Harry continued, voice becoming forceful. "Merlin, Remus, I tried, but there was nothing anyone could do. It - it happened too fast."

"No," Remus said again, his tone filling with anger and disbelief. He took a step backwards and Harry followed. "No, no, no, no, no, no..." His back hit the far wall and his knees collapsed beneath him. He slid to the floor, his hand raising to his head and clutching his hair. He began to rock back and forth, muttering nonsense words to himself. "No, Holli, I'm so sorry...so sorry..." Remus Lupin crumbled into a fit of despair. Remus Lupin cried for the first time in almost seventeen years.

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A/N: I'm sorry! -runs and hides - I did cry about three separate times when I was writing this chapter. I hate myself. As I've already told someone before, I really don't like rotten vegetables. Flames, I'll take, but, please, no tomatoes. I'm allergic, though I probably do deserve it, don't I? Oh, bother...

The story Remus tells Holli is an actual legend. It's not something I made up. I paraphrased a bit and added a little more to it, but the general story is still the same.

The poll is once again tied, so please get your votes in for the sequel's title. I'll probably have this story finished within the next week.

Thanks once more to easleyweasley. Truly a doll, I swear!