Steal My Breath

Heart of Spells

Story Summary:
Non-magic AU. Detective Sirius Black's world is turned upside down when a gruesome murder occurs in the heart of London. At the centre of the investigation, Remus Lupin. While Sirius' instincts say one thing, his heart says another. He just doesn't know how to decide which one's right.

Chapter 02 - Brown Eyes and Lack of Coffee

Posted:
07/14/2011
Hits:
34


Brown Eyes and Lack of Coffee

Sirius stared at the coffee pot in distaste. Why was there never any coffee left? He flicked his nail against the empty glass and a ping sounded through the room. He continued this process until there was a groan of protest from behind him.

"Sirius," James snapped, "would you please just stop that and make another bloody pot?"

Sirius grunted and turned away from the machine instead, leaning against the table and staring at the others. Chief Moody stood at the head of the room, his back to them as he created a large map sketch on a white board. James sat at the opposite end, his glass-framed eyes flying over numerous reports. The other three people in the room were occupying themselves by flicking folded pieces of paper at one another. The two Prewett brothers sat with their fingers together, making a makeshift goal post as Dorcas Meadowes' tongue poked out from between her lips and she angled her paper.

Sirius snorted as his eyes travelled from James to the other three. Honestly, the man was younger than any of them and he was taking it more seriously. Sirius would have laughed, but he suddenly wondered what that said about him.

"All right you lot," Moody called as he turned to them. His one good eye stared around at them while the other was covered with a black eye patch, the adverse effect of a standoff gone wrong a few years back. Sirius was secretly planning a pirate themed party for when the man reached thirty years of service with the force. "What do we know?"

James glanced up from the report he was reading. "Man's name is Remus John Lupin. He arrived here at approximately oh two hundred hours. His hands were covered in blood and he claimed he had witnessed a murder."

"Right," Moody said, turning back to the white board and writing the facts at the bottom. "Victim's name?"

Dorcas reached over and grabbed a different report. "According to his identification," she stated, flipping up the top page of the report, "his name was Benjy Fenwick."

"Bloody hell," Sirius murmured. He turned to James. "We went to school with him, remember?"

James massaged his temple. "Yeah," he murmured, "I do. Always quiet; never really said much."

"Prewett!" Moody called. Both men glanced up quickly and Moody growled in irritation. "The small one, Gideon."

The men rolled their eyes. "I'm Fabian," the smaller man said in exasperation. "We've worked with you for six years, Mad-Eye. Shouldn't you be able to remember which is which by now?"

"That isn't in the job description," Moody snapped. "Whoever you are, see if you can track down some family and get them in here to identify him."

Fabian stood and offered a mock salute before darting from the room.

"So what do we know about the murderers?" he continued.

"From what Lupin described to us," Gideon began, "the one he could see sounded like one of the Lestrange brothers. Early to mid thirties, dark hair, and a scar across the right side of his face which fits with what we have on file for Rabastan. If that's the case, we're dealing with the Riddle group."

"All right," Moody said, cracking his knuckles and turning to his map. "This is a map of the area around where the body was. There wasn't a murder weapon found so we can either assume they've taken it with them, or they've tossed it somewhere. We won't know what did the actual job until we get the autopsy report back, but it's clear Fenwick was beaten with a blunt object and stabbed a few times. That means we're either searching for a knife or a blunt object of some kind."

He turned back to the table. "Potter, Meadowes, go and search this entire area," he said, motioning to the map. "See if you can find anything that would match the description."

James and Dorcas nodded as they stood and left the room. Moody looked at Gideon. "Prewett, I want you to arrange secure protection for Lupin. If he is telling the truth and Lestrange saw him, he'll need it. Don't let more people in on it than you absolutely have to. You can never be too careful. Never know when there's a leak in the department."

Sirius barely contained his snort. Good old paranoid Moody, he thought.

Moody rounded on Sirius as Gideon pushed away from the table. "You, Black, I want in the interrogation room with Lupin."

"Why?" Sirius balked. "Haven't you already questioned him?"

Moody glared at him with his good eye. "Yes, I have," he growled, "but I want to see if there's anything that he's hiding. He's more likely to answer your questions than he is mine. You're both closer in age. And don't question my orders, Black! I'll have you buried so deep under paperwork that you'll be pushing it for months."

Sirius huffed in annoyance as Moody limped from the room and flicked the empty coffee pot once more for good measure before he followed. He made his way to the section of interrogation rooms and greeted the man standing guard at the one-way window.

"'Lo, Frank," he said.

Frank Longbottom turned and provided Sirius with a small smile. "Cor, Sirius, you look about half-dead," he remarked.

"Long night," Sirius replied, turning to the window. "So, what's he like?"

Frank shrugged. "Quiet," he answered. "Hasn't really done much. Sort of sat there and readjusted himself a bit, but he hasn't been any trouble."

"Good," Sirius sighed. "That's exactly what I need." He walked to the door and looked back at Frank as he reached for the handle. "Wish me luck."

As Sirius walked into the room, he took a moment to study the man seated at the table as he looked up. Short, light brown hair covered his head with a bit of loose fringe falling forward and over his forehead. Honey brown eyes looked out of a pale, weary, and drawn face. The man was obviously exhausted and Sirius thought it ridiculous that he was being kept simply to be questioned a second time.

"All right, Mr. Lupin," he said as he sat down across from the other man.

"Remus," Lupin spoke quietly, his voice cracking slightly.

"Fine," Sirius sighed. "I'm Detective Black. My chief wants you to be questioned again, so cooperate and let's get this over and done with as quickly as we can, got it?"

Remus hummed as he stared across the table at Sirius.

"What?" Sirius snapped.

"Do I know you?" he asked. "You seem familiar..."

"I'm afraid not," Sirius replied. "Now, can we get on with this?" Remus merely huffed and rolled his eyes. "What now?"

"Oh, nothing," Remus replied casually. "I was just thinking that maybe if you were a bit ruder, this would become much easier." Sirius stared and Remus cocked an eyebrow. "That is how it works around here, isn't it? Seems that way to me, at least."

"Listen, Lupin -" Sirius began, but stopped short when the man spoke.

"Remus," he cut in.

"Whatever," Sirius snapped. "The last thing I need from you today is cheek."

"Oh, bad day?" Remus asked, voice dripping with false sweetness. "Tell me, what's been so terribly dreadful about it? You didn't happen to witness a man being murdered, did you?"

"As a matter of fact, I didn't," Sirius retorted. "It's only eleven o'clock in the morning and I've been up since three after only getting about two hours of sleep and I'm being ordered to interrogate someone whose already been questioned more than enough. And, to make matters worse, there wasn't even any bloody coffee!"

Remus blinked and cocked an eyebrow as he asked, "So why didn't you make some?"

Sirius gaped, losing his grip on his composure momentarily. "Look," he managed to snap after a moment, "don't make this anymore difficult than it has to be. It's already time-consuming enough as it is."

Remus stared defiantly across the table at Sirius as he stretched out and leaned back in his chair. His legs knocked against Sirius' feet as he moved and settled.

"If that's what you want, I would advise that you drop the attitude and stop making it so difficult,' he said with exaggerated politeness.

Sirius' hands clenched beneath the table. "You are in the custody of the Department of Law. You have no right to speak to me in such a way."

"I have every right," Remus replied lethargically, his head thrown back and eyes locked on the ceiling above them. His sharp brown gaze moved back to Sirius suddenly. "I am a witness, Detective Black, not a criminal. If you would like my cooperation, I suggest you stop treating me as such."

Sirius contained the snarled retort that threatened to escape and growled through clenched teeth, "Fine. Mr. Lupin -"

"Remus," the other man insisted again and Sirius sighed.

"Remus," he huffed, "I need you to tell me everything you saw last night."

Remus sat up straight again. "I've already told your chief what happened and what I witnessed," he said with a scowl. "It wasn't exactly pleasant and I don't see why I should have to do it again."

Sirius refrained from slamming his fist down on the table and adopted a more gentle tone. "I know this isn't easy," he appeased, "but I need to hear the story from you as well. Two minds working on this is better than one."

Remus' eyes slid sideways as he still hesitated and Sirius added softly, "Please, Remus. All we want is to catch the men who did this."

The man's brown gaze met Sirius' grey and he stared for a long, silent moment in guarded contemplation. Finally, he sighed and his hands locked together on top of the table as his eyes moved down to study them instead.

"I was walking home from work," Remus began quietly.

"Where do you work?" Sirius interjected as he pulled out a pad of paper and a pen.

"A pub," answered Remus, "called The Basin, on Tellingshin Road."

Sirius tensed at the name. He could feel the other man's eyes as they stared at him curiously, but Sirius ignored him and motioned for Remus to continue.

"I wasn't too far away," he murmured, "a few buildings or so. I was passing an alley when I heard an odd noise. It sounded like someone choking. I was worried that someone was hurt, so I rushed down quickly."

Remus paused and took a deep breath. "The alley there is a bit crooked because of the design of the buildings. When I heard voices, I hid behind a corner so that I wouldn't be seen."

Sirius' eyes narrowed. "Why did you hide if you thought someone was hurt?" he asked in suspicious confusion. "For all you knew, it could have been people who were there to help."

Remus' voice turned cynical as he scoffed. "You don't make much money tending a pub, Detective. I don't live in the best part of the city."

Sirius nodded contritely and looked back down at his paper. Remus continued. "I took a chance and peeked out," he said. "There were three men there. Two of them stood over the third as he lay on the ground just...bleeding. There was so much of it...everywhere..." Remus stared at his pale hands and clenched them into fists when they began to shake.

Sirius reached his own hand out and placed it on Remus' arm and gazed at him reassuringly. Remus looked up and swallowed thickly as he nodded.

"The man lay at their feet and begged them to let him go, to spare his life," Remus whispered. "He kept apologising and telling them that he was sorry."

"Sorry about what?" Sirius asked, scribbling furiously.

Remus shrugged and shook his head. "Never said," he answered. "All the other two men did was laugh at him." Remus stopped suddenly and his breath hitched as he inhaled shakily. "Then - then they s-stabbed him. They ran off not too long after that.

"When they were gone," he continued, his shoulders hunching up around his neck, "I rushed over to the man to see if I could help. I read a bit about medicine and such when I was still in school, so I knew the wound wasn't too deep. I thought I could staunch the bleeding and he could hold on long enough for me to find help."

Remus inhaled a shaky breath. "He died, though. Right there in my arms and I - there wasn't anything I could do. It - it happened so suddenly. One minute he was there and the next, he was just...gone. I tried! I really did! I tried to bring him back, but I couldn't!"

Sirius heard the panic rising in Remus' voice and he gripped the man's arm again. "I know, Remus. It's all right. You did all you could."

Remus released a breathy half-sob as he looked away from Sirius in embarrassment.

"What did you do then?" he asked gently.

"I - I just sat there," Remus breathed. "I don't even know for how long. Then I heard the sound of the men coming back. I jumped to my feet, but they saw me before I could run."

"I managed to get away somehow," he said, "and I ran directly here."

Sirius nodded and returned to his pad of paper. "Can you describe the men?" he asked. "Any distinguishing features or characteristics you can remember?"

"Well," Remus began thoughtfully, "there was one that I could see. The other was wearing a sort of coat with a hood pulled up. The first was about average height and had darker hair, though it didn't quite look black. He was stocky as well and had a decent sized scar on his cheek."

He paused and thought for a moment. "The one I couldn't see was...tall and thinly built. It was clear he was a male, but the way he moved and carried himself was almost...feminine."

"What do you mean?" Sirius asked in bemusement.

"He was...graceful. Almost too graceful." Remus' eyes studied Sirius' body as he spoke and a tingle that Sirius couldn't explain raced up his spine. "It was as though he had been taught the perfect way to move since the day he had been born. It was like watching someone move through water." His eyes finally settled on Sirius' and the dark-haired man had to look away.

"Is that all you can remember?" he asked, his nerves twinging for reasons he didn't understand.

Remus stayed silent as he thought back to the previous night's events. "Well," he finally said, "there was one thing, though it may have only been a trick of the light."

"What was it?" asked Sirius, thankful to have Remus' critical eyes off of him.

"He moved once and it looked like a strand of hair fell free of the hood. It was long and blond."

Sirius' head jerked up. "Are you sure?" he snapped sharply.

"No, not really," Remus replied, taken aback. "Why? Is it important?"

"It might be," Sirius murmured contemplatively. He sighed. "Is there anything else you can remember about what happened?"

"That's all," answered Remus, turning his hands up in the air.

"Right," Sirius muttered, rubbing his eyes. "We're going to put you in a protection programme for your safety. Is there anyone you need to call? You won't be able to tell them what's happened, but you can let them know that you're safe and all right."

Remus' face closed off. "There's no one," he answered.

Sirius' brow furrowed. "Are you sure? There's got to be someone who will worry about you."

"There is no one," Remus repeated in a whisper.

"...All right," Sirius replied hesitantly as he stood. "Someone will be in soon to talk with you and explain what's going to happen."

Remus only nodded and Sirius turned away.

"Detective," he called just before Sirius opened the door.

"Yes?" Sirius asked, facing the other man again.

"How do you do it?" At Sirius' confused expression, Remus clarified. "How do you sit in here day in and day out and listen as people tell you such horrible things? How do you keep from going mad?"

Sirius' jaw tightened and his eyes hardened as he turned and walked from the room without replying. Frank was still standing in the observation area when Sirius entered it and the man chuckled.

"What's so funny?" Sirius snapped.

"You were laying it on quite thick, weren't you?" Frank remarked in amusement. "A good show, I have to say."

Sirius grunted as he stepped up to the window. "I had to get him talking, didn't I?" he countered.

"Oh, of course," Frank stated cheerily. "I'm saying nothing against your strategy, don't get me wrong."

"Then what are you saying?" Sirius growled out.

Frank shrugged. "Not a thing," he said casually. "It's just that a kind, compassionate Sirius Black is something we rarely see, even when you do have to convince someone to talk. Somehow, and for whatever reason, that man did something to you."

Frank walked out after that, and Sirius was left staring at the pale, thin man on the opposite side of the one-way glass whose brown eyes were focused directly on Sirius' grey.

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"Black!" Moody barked through the phone line and Sirius groaned. "I want you here now!"

"Not again," Sirius grumbled.

"Stop your bloody whining, boy," the older man growled, "and get your arse in here."

When Sirius walked into the DoL, Moody immediately grabbed him and dragged him into his office. James and Dorcas were inside as well, both leaning against the walls and looking exhausted.

"What's happening?" asked Sirius, instantly alert.

"Prewett's out," Moody mumbled as he seated himself behind the large desk.

Sirius looked to James for help and the man replied, "Gideon. There was a raid last night and it went sour. Gid was shot." At Sirius' alarmed look, James held up his hands in a calming motion. "He'll be all right, but he's stuck in hospital right now and then he'll be on leave until he recuperates."

Sirius breathed a sigh of relief and turned back to Moody. "What does that mean for Lupin, then?" he asked.

"It means, Black," Moody growled, a faint twinkle entering his good eye, "that Lupin gets a new babysitter."

"Who would that be?' Sirius asked warily. The twinkle was undeniably one of amusement and it terrified Sirius to no end.

Moody's gnarled and twisted face pulled into a wicked grin. "You," he answered simply.

"What?" Sirius balked, though he had been expecting as much. "Why me?"

"Would you like the personal reason or the professional one?"

"The professional," he said through gritted teeth.

Moody leaned back in his chair and studied Sirius. "I talked to Longbottom the other day," he murmured. "He said that out of all the people who came in and out of that room, you were the only one Lupin relaxed around. He told you his story in more detail than he had told anyone else which means he trusts you more."

"That does not mean he trusts me more!" Sirius cried. "It just means he remembered more of what happened after running through the story twenty times in one damn day."

"Same difference," Moody dismissed.

Out of the corner of his eye, Sirius could see James motioning for him to just let the subject die. Of course, Sirius never did as he was told.

"What's the personal reason?" Sirius snapped out and James deflated and slumped against the wall in defeat.

"Put simply," Moody said lightly as he stood from behind his desk, "I don't like you and I know this will make you miserable."

"Fan-bloody-tastic," he grumbled.

"You'll check on him once a week," Moody growled as he hobbled forward, "and no more. Too much and you'll draw attention to him."

"No worries there," muttered Sirius and there was a sharp pain in the back of his leg as James kicked him.

Moody's one-eyed gaze leveled with Sirius' as he glared. "I want no trouble out of you with this, boy," he hissed. "It isn't a hard job and you should count yourself lucky that you're even getting this. After that stunt you pulled a month ago, I could bury you so far under paperwork that no one would see your ears for ten years."

Sirius moved his eyes to the floor as heat flushed his neck. Whoever said that things like this get better was a fucking idiot, he thought sourly.

"I want you over there now," Moody continued in his usual growl. "Explain to Lupin what's going on and see if there's anything he needs. Get whatever it is if he does. He's been there for a few days, so he should have a decent list for you." Moody provided him with a smirk before he limped from the office.

Sirius immediately rounded on James and punched him in the shoulder.

"Oi!" the man protested as he massaged the tender flesh. "What the bloody hell was that for?"

"Why did you kick me?" Sirius countered by way of answer.

"Because you're one giant arse," Dorcas spoke up for the first time. "Honestly, won't you two ever grow up? I don't see how Lily deals with the both of you. Harry has more maturity than the two of you do put together."

"I am the perfect picture of maturity," Sirius remarked. "Except for when someone kicks me." He punctuated the word by hitting James again.

He scowled at Sirius. "Don't you have a job to do, O Royal Screw-Up?"

Sirius glared at his friend as he followed Moody from the office. "Just for that," he called behind him, "I'm coming to yours for dinner tonight."

He smiled to himself as he heard James groan.

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"Hello!" Sirius shouted through the small house as he entered the front door. "Anyone home?"

"I suppose that's meant to be a rhetorical question," Remus muttered as he came through the living room door and leaned against the frame. He studied Sirius for a long moment. "Where's the other one? Detective Prewett?"

"It's ever so lovely to be wanted," Sirius sighed, his tone thick with sarcasm.

Remus merely snorted and walked back into the other room. Sirius followed, studying his surroundings as he went.

He supposed it was the traditional type of house for such a programme. One bedroom and bathroom, kitchen, living room, and small back garden. There was worn, but decent furniture spread haphazardly throughout the living room and little by way of personal touches.

"Prewett had a bit of an unlucky mishap this morning and is in hospital for the time being. According to my chief, I'm your new watchdog," Sirius grumbled.

"Brilliant. I shall have to think of a suitable name for you, then," Remus quipped from his perch on an armchair. "You don't happen to have any adverse feelings towards 'Snuffles', do you?"

"Oh no, that's hilarious, that is," Sirius remarked sardonically. "A real rib-cracker if there ever was one."

Remus smirked and Sirius scowled.

"Are you sure we've never met?" asked Remus, an odd glint entering his brown eyes. "You look strangely familiar."

"No," Sirius growled, "we haven't. Now if you'll excuse me, I have more important things to do than watch you like some sort of cracked up version of a guardian angel."

Remus only continued to smirk as Sirius pulled his wallet from his pocket and dug out a card.

"This has everything you need on it," he said, tossing it to the other man. "It has my desk phone number and my mobile. If anything happens, call me."

"What about the things I need?" Remus questioned as he studied the card before placing it on the coffee table.

"I'll get them," Sirius snapped. Remus' eyes narrowed, but he let Sirius walk out of the house.

He was halfway to his own flat when his mobile rang. Sirius cursed as he fished it out and snapped it open.

"What?" he sighed wearily, expecting James or Moody.

"Detective," Remus' voice sounded innocently from the other end, "you forgot the list."

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"Sirius," Lily greeted later that night as he entered his friends' home, "wonderful of you to invite yourself."

Sirius grinned at her sarcastic tone. "And brilliant I was able to make it, yeah?" he said cheekily.

Lily smiled and kissed his cheek. "You know we can never refuse you," she answered.

"I can!" James shouted from the floor above.

"That's only because you're an incredibly large wanker," Sirius called back.

Lily swatted his shoulder. "Harry's in the other room," she scolded.

Sirius flashed her a charming smile. "Sorry, Lils. Won't happen again."

"Oh, of course it will," Lily sighed, throwing her hands into the air in defeat and leading him to the living room, "just like it always does. Honestly, I spend more time scolding James and you than I do Harry."

"Funny," James remarked as he trampled down the stairs, "we were just having a similar discussion with Dorcas today."

"I have no doubt of that," Lily said in exasperation. "Children, the both of you."

"Uncle Sirius!" a giddy shriek echoed through the room.

"Harry!" Sirius cried, crouching down and throwing his arms wide. A small body blurred in front of him and slammed into his chest. "Ooff," he exhaled. "I'm getting too old for this, kid." A series of giggles sounded from Sirius' shoulder as the boy was tickled.

"It's absurd how much he adores you," Lily commented, a small, gentle smile touching her lips.

"I think Sirius has put a spell on him," James said, wiggling his fingers at a laughing Lily.

"Don't be silly, James," she chuckled, pushing his hands away. "Who's hungry?"

"No!" Harry cried, finally wriggling free of Sirius' grip. His face adopted a reprimanding look reminiscent of Lily as he glanced at his self-proclaimed uncle. "Stop it, Sirius." He turned to his mother. "I don't want to eat. I want to play."

"You can play with Sirius after dinner, Harry," Lily told him.

"No, please now," Harry pleaded, his green eyes turning doleful behind his glasses.

Sirius pushed his face up against Harry's and copied the boy's expression. "Please," he begged as well.

James fought to contain his amusement as Lily studied them. "All right," she finally sighed and both Harry and Sirius cheered. "Go out to the garden and play for ten minutes."

"Thanks, Mummy," Harry called as he grabbed Sirius' hand.

"Yeah, thanks, Mummy," Sirius said with a wink as he was dragged away by the excited boy.

Lily hummed as she watched them go. "Our children, Jamie," Sirius heard her murmur as Harry and he walked from the living room.

"You know I hate it when you call me Jamie," James whispered.

"I know," Lily said. "That's why I do it." Sirius smiled when he heard the smacking sound of a kiss.

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Ten minutes later, Lily called them inside. Sirius scooped Harry up and placed him on his shoulders and the boy squealed in delight.

"How's school going?" he asked as he ambled across the garden.

"Great!" Harry chirped happily. "Ron's brother gave me one of his comic books and Hermione's teaching me how to read as good as she does."

"Who's Hermione?" Sirius questioned, picking out a name he didn't recognise.

"Just a girl," Harry replied. "Ron doesn't like her. He says girls have cooties. I like her, though. She's nice."

"Well, then, that's all that matters, isn't it?" Sirius said.

"Yeah," the boy mumbled. His eyes lit up. "Ron and me saved her from this mean cat that was trying to scratch her. We got sticks and I poked it with mine while Ron hit it over the head with his."

"That's quite a story," Sirius laughed. "Harry Potter: Hero. I like that sound of that." Harry beamed.

"Told us that story for days after it happened," James whispered as Harry ran off to wash his hands. "Kept saying he had forgotten that he'd already told us, but he's just proud of himself."

"He should be proud," Sirius said. "Taking on an angry cat. Even I wouldn't do that, I think. Dog person all the way."

"You are a dog," Lily remarked as she carried a plate to the table.

"Just for that comment, Lily," Sirius huffed in indignation, "I will not be helping you wash up after dinner."

Lily snorted. "You never do," she said. "Why should tonight be any different?"

"Right," he muttered, wondering if he should feel guilty.

He shrugged it off when Harry ran back in and claimed with all the authority a five year old could possess, "I'm sitting next to Sirius."

"Sit where you like,' Lily called from the other side of the kitchen. "it makes no difference to me."

Sirius crossed his arms over his chest and looked down at his friends' son. "What if I don't want to sit by you?" he teased. Harry's face fell and Sirius hurriedly bent down and scooped him up. "Hey, I'm only having you on, Harry. I don't mean it. It would be an honour to sit by you for dinner."

Harry's face immediately lifted and his eyes narrowed. "What if I don't want to sit by you now?" he countered.

Sirius snorted. "Cheeky little bugger," he muttered, placing Harry back on the floor.

"Sirius!" Lily cried, hitting him over the head with a wooden spoon.

"Ow! Stop it woman, I'm sorry!" he protested, shielding his head with his hands and darting out of her reach. Harry giggled at Sirius antics and James shook his head.

"You'd never survive if you stayed here more than you do," he sighed, amusement twinkling in his hazel eyes. "Lily would skin you alive with a cheese grater."

"Better than being hit round the head twenty times a day," Sirius mumbled.

James waved him off as he sat down at the table. "Can we please eat now? I'm wasting away to nothing over here."

"Keep going," Sirius quipped. "It'll be an improvement when you do."

James stuck his tongue out and Harry copied him with a giggle as Lily shooed Sirius and him to the table.

Dinner was a peaceful event, all things considered. The conversation was light and the banter even lighter and soon enough, Harry was pushing away from the table and asking to be excused.

Sirius watched him as he ran happily from the kitchen. "I'm amazed sometimes at how big he's getting," he mumbled.

James hummed. "Be six in two months," he said wistfully. "He's growing up fast."

"Now if we can just take care of you," Lily spoke up softly.

Sirius cast his eyes in her direction. "What are you talking about, Lils?" he asked in confusion.

"I don't like have to pay your way out of jail, Sirius," she said stonily.

Sirius' eyes widened and he protested, "I paid you back for that the next day!"

"And I hope you never have to again," Lily countered.

Sirius leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms as both Lily and James gazed at him in concern.

"I think what Lily is trying to say," James began, leaning forward on the table, his hands spread wide, "is that we're worried about you, mate. After what happened -"

"He deserved it," Sirius interjected, his mood turning dark.

"Be that as it may," Lily said, "we're still concerned. Dealing with such a thing as you did is the way of a teenager, not a grown man." She reached her hand out and touched his arm gently. "We know your reason for doing it, and we know the real reason."

Sirius gaped. "What do you mean by the real reason? My reason is the real one."

"Do you see?" Lily said, gesturing wildly into the air as though searching for words. "This is exactly what we're trying to tell you! Keeping your feelings and emotions locked up inside isn't healthy. We know you were hurt and we understand that, but if you had simply talked to us - or to anyone - about it, that entire situation probably could have been avoided."

"You think that happened because my feelings were bruised?" Sirius balked.

Lily's lips pursed at his tone and James sighed.

"Sirius, mate, we know you better than anyone," he said wearily, rubbing the bridge of his nose under his glasses. "You can't hide anything from us, even when you manage to do it to your own self." Sirius huffed and scowled and James raised his hands in peace. "Look, just know that we're here for you anytime, all right. For anything."

Sirius' eyes travelled to Lily as she stood to start clearing the table and shook her head. "Honestly, sometimes I wonder what goes on in that head of yours at times."

He looked down at his folded arms and silently conceded to himself that he did the same thing quite often.

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A/N: Thank to Hermione Granger-Weasley for the wonderful beta work!