Madame Josephine's Love Calculator

The weeks drawled by and students anticipated for the Masquerade Ball to come by. Ginny spent most of her time on the Internet merrily chatting with Hot_Dragon24 or going on dates. She still remembered when she had asked him to go with her to the Ball and they had then gone on a date to the park.

It had been an astronomical evening by the glittering lake, feeding the ducks and then finally going out on the water in a pearl-white boat. It was perfect like all the other dates they had gone on. It had even ended with a kiss. Madame Josephine made everything and everyone seem like a fairy tale, unlike the harsh world of reality.

"I might as well go out with Weasley and act like everything was like before," Draco had thought to himself. "After all she is a Pureblood and if everything doesn't work out then I'll just pretend I didn't know and if it does well good for me."

So Draco continued to act like he had in the previous dates and to his surprise he found out that Ginny Weasley wasn't that bad. She was quite remarkable for a Weasley. She was nothing like the other Weasleys. Then again she was the only girl of the family and he had never paid much attention due to the fact that she constantly at Harry's feet and she held to the name of Weasley.

***

"Seamus did you see Hermione?" asked Ron to the Irish boy who had just returned from the library.

"Yeah she was with Harry doing some sort of research," replied Seamus placing his books on a table and collapsing in an armchair. "They've been there a couple of nights this week, all alone in a corner isolated from everyone else and keeping everything they do secretive. Who knows what they're- "

"Oh shut up Seamus," snapped Ron, cutting Seamus' voice off.

"What? You did ask me if I saw her and I was just saying what I saw," replied Seamus innocently.

"Yeah but you didn't have to say it like that!" shot back Ron.

"Say it like what?" asked Seamus.

Ron groaned and left the Gryffindor Common Room.

"What did I do now?" asked Seamus to himself out loud with a quizzical expression on his face.

***

"Honestly Harry why don't you just forget this book and just invite a girl to the Ball and have fun?" asked Hermione in exasperation.

"I can't!" cried Harry. "It's a book! And when something written in a book you can't just forget it and invite a girl to the Ball and have fun!"

"That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard!" groaned Hermione. "It's a book! It just might've been someone playing a prank on you! Who cares what's written inside the book!"

Madam Pince narrowed her eyes at their direction and continued watching them suspiciously.

"But Hermione," whined Harry. "I think you're missing the main point here. Listen to me, it's a book! No one pranks when it comes to books."

"THAT'S IT!" yelled Hermione as she stood up. "I'M GOING TO BURN THIS RIDICULOUS PIECE OF- "

"MISS. GRANGER!" shrieked Madam Pince as she stomped towards the two Gryffindors. "NOT ONLY ARE YOU RAISING YOUR VOICE IN THE LIBRARY BUT YOU'RE ALSO USING FOUL LANGUAGE! AND BEING HEAD GIRL YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF! OUT, OUT, OUT FOR A WEEK!"

She practically threw Hermione out of the library and pulled Harry out as well by the ear.

"But I didn't do anything!" protested Harry.

"Oh yes you did!" snapped Madam Pince. "Provoking Miss. Granger!"

She slammed the door shut, leaving both of them alone in the silent hallway.

"Now look what you've done," Hermione said accusingly. "I have to live a week without the library!"

"It was not my fault!" protested Harry once again. " Honestly how do you women live throughout a day?"

"By blaming life's problems on men," replied Hermione as she began walking.

"Blaming men?" Harry said as he caught up with Hermione. "That doesn't make sense."

"Few things do," she replied.

As they turned the corner of the hallway, they came face to face with none other than Ron.

He seemed as angry and aggravated as his friend and girlfriend. They looked at each other for about twenty seconds until Hermione finally broke the silence with greeting her boyfriend.

"Ron," she began. "I didn't expect to see you here."

"Why?" he snapped back. "Because all you've been expecting to see these days is Harry?!"

"Ron!" cried Hermione in utter shock. "Are you jealous?"

"No I'm not!" Ron answered back angrily. "All I'm saying is that my best friend is spending more time with my girlfriend than I am with her."

"Ron we're hardly boyfriend and girlfriend," she replied now flushing red with anger as well. "Just because we had that one moment in the common room and we're going to the Ball together, does not mean that we're going out!"

"We hardly do anything together because you're always with Harry!" yelled Ron. "Girlfriends and boyfriends are supposed to spend time together!"

"Then maybe we shouldn't even be together at all!" replied Hermione raising her voice. "After all that you've said how we are never together, then maybe that's a sign that we're not meant to be!"

"Fine!" Ron answered stomping off down the corridor.

"Fine!" replied Hermione as she quickly walked in the opposite direction leaving Harry alone.

"Why am I always caught in the middle of this?" thought Harry tiredly.

***

As the Masquerade Ball approached, everyone seemed to be in a state of distress and anxiety. Ginny was constantly keeping secrets on whom she was going to the Ball with and snapped at anyone who questioned her about it. Ron and Hermione were not speaking to each other, leaving Harry in the middle of their feuding war.

There was eerie silence poisoning the Gryffindor common room as Ron and Hermione glimpsed murderously at each from behind their copies of The Standard Book of Spells (Grade 7) and the Advanced Book of Spells (Grade 7).

The silent quarrelling was driving Harry insane as he tried to focus on his Potions essay, which was due tomorrow. He couldn't help but look up at his friends every two minutes to see what they were up to. There had to be a way to end this piercing silence!

"Stop doing those faces Hermione!" snapped Ron so suddenly that it made Harry jump. "You're in violation of insulting a superior!"

"Superior!?" snorted Hermione. "Please Ron, a Pixie has more control than you!"

"That's it!" cried Ron. "Five points from Gryffindor for mocking the Head Boy!"

"You should hardly be Head Boy!" retorted Hermione. "A monkey would have more common sense than you! Who takes points off his own house?!"

"Would you stop comparing me to animals?" yelled Ron to Hermione who was just two seats away from him.

"Well stop behaving like one!" cried Hermione.

"Another five points from Gryffindor for total insubordination!" said Ron angrily.

"I call five points from Gryffindor also for total stupidity!" screamed Hermione.

"THAT'S IT!" Harry yelled at the top of his lungs causing each Gryffindor to turn around and look at him with bewilderment. "By the time you two are finished this argument, Gryffindor won't have anymore points! Just say to one another that you were stupid for acting the way you did and make up! Stop handling it in a childish manner!"

As Harry finished speaking, both Ron and Hermione immediately stood up and pointed at their friend and said, "Five points from Gryffindor for insulting an authority!"

They both marched off into their dormitories, slamming the door as they passed through it.

Harry groaned and stuffed his face in the nearest cushion trying to figure out a way to end this fight before one of them ended up dead!

***

"Ginny this is a matter between life and death," said Monica with her eyes in a stern expression and her mouth in a thin straight line.

"What's wrong?" demanded Ginny in concern for her friend.

"Which looks better on me, red or blue?" she asked, holding up two sets of robes.

Ginny rolled her eyes and went back to her laptop.

"Why did you roll your eyes?" questioned Monica sternly. "This is a serious question and I need my friend's advice on this!"

"I waste my advice on a ridiculous question," answered Ginny, not even looking up from the papers sprawled in front of her. Heather snickered silently as Monica's eyes nearly budged out of their sockets.

"Bloody hell!" cried Monica. "That means neither is right for me! I must owl Mum immediately!"

With that, she ran out of the dormitory as if she was running a Wizard Olympic Marathon.

Ginny and Heather exchanged looks and burst out laughing at the silly girl.

"She's not the only one who's acting like this," said Heather. "I actually saw one worse than her! A Ravenclaw girl nearly killed her owl for taking three days to deliver an order form for Miss. Lou-Lou's Shiny Hair Spray care package."

"With the Masquerade Ball being three days away we're bound to see things that may shock and even frighten us," advised Ginny.

"What do you mean frighten us?" said Heather nervously.

"I'm not supposed to say this but..." began Ginny.

"Say what? Say what?" cried Heather.

"Hold on," replied Ginny, pausing for a moment. "I'm not supposed to say this but there was this gruesome sight I saw concerning a certain Hufflepuff who actually ringed another's Hufflepuff neck for applying the other girl's make up that was supposed to be saved for the Ball."

"What happened to that ringed-neck Hufflepuff?" demanded Heather who was now at the edge of her bed.

"She's in the hospital wing right now still being cured," answered Ginny. "And that incident occurred two months ago!"

Heather gasped as Ginny roared with laughter at the poor girl's horrified expression.

"I was just joking Heather!" Ginny cried, gasping Heather. "Though with the madness that's happening around here, anything in that sort is bound to take place!"

"Yeah probably," answered Heather uncertainly as she stood up and walked to the door. "I'm going down to the common room to ask my brother something."

"Okay see you," said Ginny still chuckling to herself.

***

"Pansy stop showing off that revolting dress before you blind someone to death with those flashing colors," sneered Draco at Pansy who was modeling stupidly in front of the Slytherins in a flashy pink and purple dress that seemed to have been dug up from a garbage can.

"This dress was my mother's and she'd actually be shedding buckets of water, seeing her only daughter wearing after it had been isolated for so many years in our attic," said Pansy dramatically as she then threw a disgusted look in Draco's direction.

"I truly wonder why it was isolated for so many years?" asked Blaise sarcastically.

"Probably because it was reflecting more light off than the sun itself and the little old sun felt the pang of jealousy," answered Draco.

"And so when no one was looking, it made its move," continued Blaise.

"The next thing you know, the dress is gone and the sun is the almighty giver of light to us once again," ended Draco and a couple of Slytherin even clapped at the little story Blaise and him had just made up.

"My dear mother's prized possessions are not to be made of a mockery!" screeched Pansy.

"Correction, my dear mother's worn out antiques are to be made of a mockery," said Blaise as the entire Slytherin common room burst into laughter.

"Laugh all you want," Pansy cried, raising her voice. "But you can never destroy my pride!"

With that she ran towards the stairs, tripping over the laces of her dress and collapsing over on her ugly pug nose. The common room was on the floor in a split second, shedding tears of laughter. She quickly stood up, with her squashed nose in the air and climbed the staircase, tripping several times.

"I don't get it Blaise," said Draco as he finished laughing. "One minute you're Pansy's best friend and the next you're completely insulting her."

"Draco I'm simply using her," answered Blaise with an evil grin. "Of course she's too blind to see that and she always comes crawling back on all fours to me like a little dog."

"And I presume that Pansy will be tagging around you at the Ball on a leash?" asked Draco, smirking.

"Hey that leash that I have has a purpose!" responded Blaise once again putting on an evil look.

Draco rolled his eyes and thought about how Ginny would react to find out that her mystery boy was her sworn enemy.