Cauldron Tales

A Pinch of Legilimency
To encourage the necessary trust

Saturday, July 19, 1986

"Very well, he tried to kill me once."

"Well, I do hope you can both be professional about it," Mariella replied simply and diplomatically. She sat ramrod straight with a quiet dignity that, while not forceful, was not in the least hesitant.

"Do you really think that that is something that anyone can be professional about?" Remus asked mildly, slightly surprised by her response. Then again, what other response could someone have made to such a statement? Here were the two sides of Slytherin, the outrageously careful etiquette and the blunt, rude statement of facts most would leave unsaid. The former was always able to respond to the latter without giving them the satisfaction of disturbing their poise.

"Still a man of too many words, Lupin?" Professor Snape said with a sneer. "Of course we will be professional about our limited involvement with each other. Why need we clarify such an obvious statement?" He turned away from the window. "I certainly do not wish to discuss it."

Chocolate brown eyes met cold black ones for a long moment. Mariella could see almost visible sparks flying between them. She wandered what memories were changing minds. She didn't know about Remus Lupin's skill level, but Professor Snape's was legendary. Mariella hoped that it was something that would alleviate, if not resolve, their grudge.

From the looks on both faces when they at last looked away, Lupin breathing a little more heavily and Snape invisibly paler, Mariella did not think that they had liked what they saw in each other's minds.

---

At first it was just random images. Snape had initiated the attack and pressed his advantage. But Lupin had been waiting for him too. James Potter was what awaited Snape in Lupin's mind. He almost recoiled, and Lupin surged forward. Snape retaliated, and then the memories exploded from both at once.

A boy on a bucking broom ... a young blonde girl running over with her new wand raised trying to stop his tormenters... They both wrenched away.

A brief glimpse of Malfoy bought Snape the temporary advantage, but Lupin slid to an expertly chosen series of several of the more embarrassing pranks played on Snape in Hogwarts days. It bought him enough advantage to explode into a Death Eater's meeting. One where Snape was being punished. Lupin started to probe deeper, to find out why.

That was when Snape slammed his brilliant counterattack. Lily and James swam into view in Lupin's mind's eye. A hundred looks of vague distrust, of distance, rushed before him in rapid succession. How Snape had found them Lupin didn't want to know.

Lupin refused to stagger under this blow. He would not crumble, even under the glare of suspicion in Lily's eyes and the doubt in James's. Almost in desperation, he flung forward a memory he hadn't though that he would use.

A radiant bride reached the end of the aisle, smiling and almost laughing. Her eyes sparkled as she took the hand that the also beaming groom held out of her. She stepped up to his side.

Snape was almost contemptuous, until he realized that it

had worked. Lupin had gained the advantage and had pressed straight through to one of his most buried memories.

The soft light of a candle fell on a limp figure lying sprawled on a dark dungeon floor. A woman in white, pale and unmoving, her blonde hair sprayed out on the dirty floor and her eyes closed.

Both men wrenched away, out of each other's minds where too many shared memories lurked.

---

Although Snape had taken the trouble to come and meet Lupin at the station, he departed the moment that the three reached the Entrance Hall. Mariella Goring did not seem surprised by this, but merely gestured for Remus Lupin to follow her to his new quarters. "I hope that you will find the room comfortable," she told him as they climbed the winding staircase in the Entrance Hall. "It may not be much, but I lived there happily for four years."

"I was under the impression that I was being lodged in the Castle," Lupin replied. "Was I misinformed?"

She seemed to almost smile, but it was difficult to tell. "No, merely incompletely informed. You see, I was the Ward of Hogwarts for four years before I was honored enough to become a student in its hallowed halls."

"And was there a particular reason that you were accorded that honor?" Lupin asked, intrigued by this new information about this young girl upon whom so much of his future would apparently depend.

"Possibly because no one but Albus Dumbledore would take me," Mariella replied without emotion. "The wizarding world has no orphanages, and I do not exist in the Muggle world. As for a family taking me in, let us say that I was in a peculiar and almost unique position at the time, one that ruled out nearly everyone who might have once made the offer to care for me."

"You seem to have as interesting a personal history as myself," Remus replied with a slight nod. He was unable to manage Mariella's detached, professional tone when discussing his own life. He wasn't sure what he thought of the fact that she could. It was a very important point to know what kind of person Mariella Goring was, but he could not make up his mind about her so quickly. After all, there was the project itself to consider. It was entirely of her own creation. Her desire had prepared for it and brought him here. Her brilliance would be what solved the problem if anything could. Her will would determine the pace and the results of it. And Remus Lupin could not read her.

"Then I look forward to hearing about it," she responded calmly, drawing aside a tapestry and leading him through a little-known passageway. Usually, Remus listed knowing about the secret passageways as a plus in new Hogwarts acquaintance, but something made him hesitate about putting it in the plus column with Mariella Goring.

Remus supposed if he wanted to know what working with her on this project would be like, he might as well just ask her. The very young looking girl - had he looked like that at fifteen? He had felt both much older and much younger than she looked - seemed quite happy to talk about her project. "Our goal is for Professor Snape and myself to design a potion ready for testing for every full moon. We will probably have to run preliminary tests for at least two weeks before we give it to you. Then on the day of the full moon or a few before, depending on the potion design, I will brew it in the Hospital Wing.

"On the night of the full moon, you and I will be in the Shrieking Shack. I will attempt to observe you to see if there is any detectable change. You will have to give me as detailed a report as you can when you recover the next day. I will also tend to your wounds, with Madam Pomfrey's assistance, so I can see if the potion has had any effect. Usually, it probably will not have much of one. Professor Snape and I have several already prepared for the next three to five months, we will elaborate and/or combine those that work the best." Mariella led him down several corridors until they were in a familiar hall near the Astronomy Tower.

Although it was nice enough to know, none of that had answered what Remus really wanted to know: why Mariella Goring had taken on this project. He understood his own reasons well enough, it took little psychology to understand Snape's and much less to understand his own. But why would this young girl - and she was a very young girl to be taking on a project at which grown, qualified wizards, the best in the their field, had been failing for centuries - take on this during her fifth year at Hogwarts?

Instead of any of this, Remus only responded to one confusing part of her plan of action. "And just how do you plan to handle being in the Shrieking Shack with me on the night of the full moon having taken these potions which probably will have absolutely no effect most of the time?"

"Here it becomes useful that I am not an ordinary Hogwarts fifth year," Mariella Goring said, and Remus Lupin felt that here she was getting much closer to answering his real question. "I happen to be an Animagus."

"Pardon?" Remus Lupin actually stopped walking. Luckily, Mariella Goring had also stopped at that moment.

"I see you guessed where you will be staying after all," the young girl replied, amusement shining slightly in her eyes. She was obviously enjoying pretending to cover for his shock. Remus filed that information away carefully. He needed all of the information that he could get about this girl, this obviously very remarkable girl.

Mariella Goring also seemed genuinely attached to the Day Star Room, but then, if it had been her room for so long that was little wonder. Remus set down his suitcase and gazed fondly up at the night sky on the ceiling. He had his own memories of this room, though not as extensive as Mariella's surely. It was a small room with a single bed and a small desk, barely enough to be called a room really. The decorations were things obviously scavenged from other rooms in the castle, which could result in some strange sites: a red Gryffindor bedspread on an ebony Slytherin bed (shrunk considerably so that it would fit) with dark blue hangings from the Ravenclaw dormitories. The desk was also ebony, but with a yellow badger carved into several of the designs in the wood. It was as if each house could spare only one bit of furniture to outfit this room.

The real beauty of this room was not its diversity, it was the ceiling above it. The floor was the same plain, cold stone as the hallway covered in places by a throw rug with the Hogwarts crest on it and the walls were mostly unadorned and shapeless save for a window with window seat in the outside wall. The ceiling, however, was spectacular. If entered at night, it would be easy to think that it was just an extension or duplication of the spell on the ceiling of the Great Hall. However, during the day or the rain the true magic of the ceiling was clear, because the myriad of stars in the night sky appeared just as clearly despite the weather or the time of day. Stars that the sun had overshadowed since time immemorial winked cheerfully down at Remus and the young Mariella Goring, as if pleased to be finally noticed. It was rumored that Professor Sinistra's husband, until a few years ago the Defense professor and the only one since to last more than a year, had made it for her as a present for their first anniversary. Others said that he had only discovered it. Whatever the truth, and Remus was inclined to believe that it had always existed, it was a truly remarkable little-known part of Hogwarts Castle in its way.

"I will let you get settled," Mariella said, starting to sweep back out of the room after a long, admiring look at the stars. "The House Elves still serve dinner in the Great Hall during the summer for the few of us left here, but you can go down to the kitchens anytime. There is a convenient little passage down the next corridor - "

"Behind the statue of Hesper Starkey," Remus finished for her. A slight eyebrow raise which Remus figured was more a nod of approval than an expression of surprise. "Whose research I presume you must have used extensively."

"As every budding potions prodigy must," Mariella replied. "It should be particularly interesting to apply her work to our study," she continued with a new light of interest in her eyes. "Although I do think that she is incorrect about the new moon being an ideal time to make a potion like ours. I personally believe that when the power of the moon is growing is the best time. Then again, I propose to harness the moon's power rather than combat it. I do not know if I believe that modern magic could ever directly defeat magic as old and large as..." Mariella stopped, smiling in an almost embarrassed way and drew herself up to her fullest height and level of poise. "I suppose I have exceeded the interest of my listener. It may be quite a danger in our conversations. I hope you will excuse it."

"Feel free anytime," Remus responded honestly. "Hearing people talk about things they're passionate about is rarely dull." From the look at Mariella gave him, he wondered if she knew that that was a question. She did not seem inclined to answer it if she did and instead simply turned around and made to exit the room.

"One thing, before you go," Remus said, the word welling up in him from the guilt that had been warring inside of him. She stopped and turned but said nothing, waiting politely for him to continue. Yes, she was a very difficult person to read. In the mean time, Remus needed a very convincing lie. "About your plan to observe me as an Animagus, are you sure that that is the best plan? I mean, after all, you can scarcely make notes, it will all have to be from memory..."

"My memory will be sufficient, I assure you. I will make extensive notes on my recollections in the morning," Mariella replied.

"But aren't the freshest recollections preferable?" Remus didn't really expect this tactic to work. He was only using it to try to stall for time.

"My recollections will be fine," she said with finality.

"But, well, are you sure that it's safe?" Remus tried to play this as if it were his real concern all along and he almost that it worked. "I mean, there would be nothing worse than, well, it still being dangerous to you."

"If you try to attack me, I'll fly up the chimney," Mariella said simply. "The situations is not such that I will be unaware of the danger. If you are sincerely worried about the danger, I can bring you a copy of a Ministry record that I found. It details an encounter of an Animagus who was bitten by a werewolf several centuries ago. Not even an aversion to silver resulted. I should be fine as long as I don't suddenly go insane and untransform."

"Or I rip you limb from limb," Remus felt strange and outrageously guilty just saying it.

Mariella Goring just brushed it aside, "Did you really think that I meant without any protective spells? Wizard werewolves can not use their magic when they have transformed, all the research agrees on that, and brute strength has not conquered any of my protective spells yet."

"But - " Remus said almost desperately. He couldn't let this project start off tainted. He couldn't make this girl who was so passionate about potionmaking and the project in general jump off in the wrong direction because he was more docile around her in her animal form. But he couldn't tell her. He couldn't tell this girl, who would have to tell Dumbledore, of his betrayal of the Headmaster's trust. He couldn't uncover his most precious memories...and the many acts of which he was more heartily ashamed than anything else in his whole life, for this little slip of a girl.

But what else could he do? Ruin her research? Sit by as she went off in the wrong direction in her pursuit? Leave the project? But she might never get another chance at this, and certainly not for many years. By then her interests would have changed. Mariella Goring was obviously brilliant with a lot of time on her hands to devote to something worthwhile. She would need another passion if she couldn't pursue this one, and she would find it readily enough. Maybe this would stay with her, maybe she would have another opportunity. Was he willing to risk that? When she could do so much good?

But then could she? Really? Dumbledore and Snape obviously thought that she was qualified for this, they wouldn't have let her consider it if she were a normal rising fifth year student...but could he do this? Tell her one of his most closely-held secrets? Would he be able to find the answer in time or just be stalled, as always regarding this issue, in indecision?

It turned out that Remus wouldn't. A presence that he would recognize only afterwards as being Mariella Goring slammed into his mind.

---

It wasn't hard for her to gain an immediate advantage. In his disheveled state of mind he was very vulnerable to attack. He was also focusing on exactly the memories that she would need to unravel his secret, making it nearly impossible for him to cover them in time. And then, the painful indecision, which equaled death in Occlumency, kept him from mounting almost any defense at all. After all, perhaps the easiest way to resolve the dilemma was for her to extract the information. He may not have had the will to tell her.

Half a dozen transformations whizzed through his mind's eye before she found one worth properly examining. She saw three boys, one by one, change into their animal form a split second before Remus himself came bounding down the stairs in wolf form.

---

Mariella Goring pushed her way out of his mind immediately. Remus Lupin would later respect her for how she had conducted herself in his mind. Given, Legilimency was always a terrible invasion of privacy, but she hadn't pried into anything unnecessary to answer her immediate question. She had found her answer and disengaged.

Mariella Goring did not have any respect for Remus Lupin on her face. She was regarding him with cold fury. "You were not going to tell me this?" she demanded, folding her hands over her chest and reminding him of James's mother when she was angry. "This could have wrecked the entire project!" she almost shouted.

"I know - I just - " Remus started to say before trailing off into silence.

There was almost a tick in her face as she waited for the polite amount of time before she could speak again to pass. "Mister Lupin, I do not know how you think that this partnership is going to work, but I can assure you that this will not be satisfactory. You were going to keep something from me something that I might not be able to learn through years of research, that I might never have uncovered through experimentation but which you could have simply told me in a mere twenty seconds!

"I assumed that you wanted this project to succeed and that you would give your time and energy to it. If, however, you do not intend to seriously cooperate with me, I would like to know as soon as possible so that I will stop wasting my time, as you seem so happy to do!" And with that, the fifteen year old girl whirled around walked out of the room, leaving a much older man feeling incredibly immature.

---

"Dilys!" Mariella called the moment that she reached her room in Gryffindor Tower. She tried to keep her frustration and anger at Remus from coloring her conversation with one of her good friends. As the old woman swam into view in her picture frame, it hit Mariella, as it sometimes did, what very strange friends she happened to make. She had thought that the young werewolf now under her charge would be the latest addition to her collection of unlikely friendships, but she was tempted to write off the blind, self-centered jerk.

"Is everything all right, Miss Goring?" the former headmaster of Hogwarts and Head Healer of St. Mungo's asked when she came into view. "Are you doing well?" It was the latter that had made Dilys fond of the young girl who took up an unprecedented residence at Hogwarts. The former made her an ideal person to help Mariella Goring both get into mischief and eventually out of it.

"Yes, but I need to talk to Professor Dumbledore before the first experiment," she told her. "Preferably as soon as possible."

"Is everything all right with Mr. Lupin?" Dilys Derwent asked in concern.

"He's not hurt," was Mariella's only answer. "Though it shows great restraint on my part."

"Angry at him already, dear?" Dilys said, raising her left eyebrow slightly in surprise. "It's hard to imagine it from Remus Lupin. He was always, secretly, one of my great favorites when he was in school here, much like yourself, actually. He and his three friends were endlessly getting dragged up to the Headmaster's office. Some of their antics were so entertaining. They always had something up their sleeves. And then, he was so helpful to that girl when she took sick."

This, as it would with any aspiring Healer, caught Mariella Goring's interest even in her annoyance. "What girl?" she asked, looking over at Dilys.

"Hasn't mentioned her yet, then? Silly boy, I didn't quite think he would be the kind to never want to speak of painful things. He was ever so brave when he was at school," Dilys continued.

"Well, I've barely met him," Mariella explained.

"Ah, that wouldn't have meant much a few years ago," Dilys said both fondly and sadly. "He would already have mentioned her at least five times during your first meeting, provided that it was at least five seconds long. It is beyond sad for me to think that the War has changed Remus Lupin. He is the last one left of the six that I thought even Voldemort's Reign of Terror could not touch, not in their hearts."

"And those three friends that you mentioned? How did he feel about them?" Mariella Goring asked, regarding her friend seriously, all of her anger and frustration forgotten.

"How do you feel about Bill and Charlie Weasley?" Dilys asked by way of answer. "He was even more certain than you that he would never find someone to look past what he was and befriend him."

---

Sunday, July 20, 1986

"Good afternoon, Miss Goring," Dumbledore said cheerfully when the young girl walked into his office in great state. "Would you like a chocolate?"

"No, but thank you, Headmaster," she replied, a warm smile coming to her lips on her formerly politely blank face. He waved her to a seat and only then did she sit down, even this small movement infused with her typical natural grace.

"May I at least tempt you with a lemon drop?" he offered again.

"You know my weakness, I see," she replied. "Thank you, Headmaster." Dumbledore drew out a few of the small yellow candies and placed them in a small plate that matched the teapot also sitting on his desk. Mariella rose and took it from him along with a cup of her favorite tea that he already poured, then settled back into her chair. "I do apologize for pulling you away from your work at the Ministry."

"By all means, never apologize for such a thing again," Dumbledore replied, winking over his crooked nose at the young girl who did not allow her amusement to show on her face. "What may I do for you, Miss Goring? I hope there are not already problems with your new project."

And though there had been no rebuke in his tone, none of the infamous Dumbledore disappointment, Mariella was suddenly hit with an overwhelming sense of the scale, ambition, even the audacity of her project. What was she thinking? Who did she think that she was? She hadn't even passed her Ordinary Wizarding Levels yet! Then again, she had taken her Healing Arts Required Exams (H.A.R.E.s), and in only a few weeks she would know how her scores matched up against those of graduates of the Healer Academy, know if the Ministry would have to approve her for early certification once she passed the proper Nastily Exhausting Wizarding Tests in her seventh year. But still, who did she think that she was?

"Miss Goring?" Dumbledore prompted gently.

"I'm afraid that there is a small problem, Headmaster," Mariella admitted. "I believe that we need to reconsider our precautions for the night of the full moon."

"Do you plan to take me up on my offer to cast the protective charms myself, then, Miss Goring?" Dumbledore asked, sounding pleased with the prospect. His tone left Mariella Goring unbelievably touched, even though she knew that Dumbledore would have done as much for any of his students.

"Yes, actually, I believe that that would be best," Mariella replied, taking a small sip of her tea. She wondered briefly if it was Dumbledore or the house elves who knew how she took her tea. Surely it was Spunky who had delivered the tea. "But to prevent having to bother you every month, it might be better to set up the protections on a fixed point. Perhaps one of the couches in the Shrieking Shack."

"I see, Miss Goring," Dumbledore replied. "Well, this can certainly be arranged. I can cast the spell now, I set aside a full hour for this conversation."

"Thank you, Headmaster," Mariella replied.

There was a quiet moment during which they both ate a lemon drop: Mariella daintily and Dumbledore happily. "Do you really believe that I can do this, Headmaster?" Mariella found herself saying in a very small voice.

"You've already designed several potions, Miss Goring," Dumbledore replied, picking up two attached lemon drops and beginning to pry them apart. "I particularly enjoy your sock cleaning solution."

"Headmaster, this project is a great deal more difficult," was all that Mariella Goring was able to muster.

"No, this project simply requires a great deal more time and experimentation," Dumbledore told her. "I personally believe that you have the talent to accomplish this feat. Professor Snape says that he has never seen anyone with your gift for potions. Professor Slughorn was of the same opinion as well, and he has taught several of the truly great potionmakers of several generations." The two lemon drops popped apart. Dumbledore placed one on Mariella's plate and the other in his mouth.

"Thank you, Headmaster," Mariella Goring said quietly.

"By all means, you are welcome to my lemon drops at any time," Dumbledore replied, humming softly to himself. "But may I ask, Miss Goring," he continued a moment later, "if there is a particular reason for this change of plans? You seemed quite content to proceed with the observations in your Animagus form only a few days ago."

"After conferring with Mister Lupin, I reconsidered," Mariella responded. "He did not feel comfortable with the arrangement, and I believe that the experiment will proceed with more accuracy this way."

"Very well, Miss Goring," Dumbledore said, taking a final sip of tea. "When you are finished, you may lead the way to the Shrieking Shack."

---

Mariella Goring returned from the Grounds to find Remus Lupin walking out of the front door with his small suitcase in one arm and his cloak thrown over the other. He tipped his hat to her in the sweltering June heat. "Miss Goring," he said as he passed.

"Leaving, Mister Lupin?" Mariella asked, even now not losing her composure. She looked, to the casual observer, merely curious.

"I have made arrangements to take up new lodgings. Don't worry, I will return before Tuesday," he replied, finding himself mimicking her perpetually formal tone a little. She had been friendly and angry in turn with him, but her tone had always been formal and polite. It had taken James several months to fully break Sirius of that habit. He had still reverted to it around women for years afterwards.

Remus inwardly cursed himself for having thought about Sirius. It always put him in a foul and, often, feral mood. He wasn't quite ready for Mariella Goring to see that side of him.

"May I inquire as to the reason for your change of plans?"

"I'd rather not stay under a man's roof when he knows that I betrayed his trust," Remus replied shortly. "When no other Headmaster would have permitted me to attend Hogwarts, Albus Dumbledore did. I have had to live with the fact that I betrayed his trust in my younger days, but I would prefer not to be constantly reminded of his disappointment in me." With that for a fair exit line, Remus Lupin tipped his hat again and started to walk away.

"You need not bother leaving," Mariella said, turning slightly so that she faced his retreating back.

"And why is that?" Remus replied, turning around to face her.

"Firstly, the Headmaster is rarely at Hogwarts during the summer months," Mariella replied. "Secondly, unless you have told him yourself he remains as unaware of your actions as a student here as he always was."

"You are willing to compromise your project for this?" Remus asked in confusion.

"Absolutely not," Mariella replied immediately. "In the future, I would appreciate your own devotion to the project. In this particular case, alternate arrangements could quite easily be made, however."

"He didn't ask why the plan had to change?"

"Does Dumbledore often demand information from you, Mister Lupin?"

There was a moment's pause as their eyes met. "Would you like me to help you to your room again?" Mariella asked politely. "On the way, you can tell me about the effect of having a human in Animagus form with you during your transformation. Were you able to recognize your companions?"

"At times," Remus Lupin replied, following Mariella Goring back into Hogwarts Castle. It was a short exchange that took place on the Grounds that afternoon, but it laid the first all-important seeds of trust between two of the three partners who were to create the great Wolfsbane Potion. It would take time to grow between them and much longer before the soil between Remus Lupin and Severus Snape was fertile enough to be more than a waste of seeds. However, the next time that Remus Lupin knew that he needed to tell Mariella Goring something for the experiment about his past, he hesitated a little less and managed to open up to this strange young girl, without fear of losing Dumbledore's good opinion.

Another seed was planted which lay dormant much longer. This one was in the mind of Albus Dumbledore. Although Remus Lupin feared this small seed for many, many years, he would be inordinately grateful that when Sirius Black told Albus Dumbledore the whole story of Animagi transformations, betrayals, cats, rats, and dogs, that Dumbledore had someone impartial with whom he could confirm a small part of the story. He called Mariella Goring in the middle of the night and asked her for the true reason she hadn't observed Remus Lupin the way that she had originally planned almost seven years ago. Although her testimony would still not have been enough to save Sirius Black, or indeed even to convince Cornelius Fudge to listen to his story considering Fudge's by that time deep antagonism to Mariella Goring, it gave Albus Dumbledore the confidence to know that Sirius Black must be saved from a fate worse than death, that his version of the story could be trusted.

A small gesture of trust goes a very long way indeed.

---

©KatyMulvaney8-9-2005