The Most Noble and Ancient House of Black

Chapter two- Quidditch, Babies, and Mortal Peril

It was August 24 and the last day before the professors had to return to Hogwarts. The Weasley children, the twins' wives, Harry, and Draco were trying to start up a game of Quidditch in Grimmauld Place's pitch. Everyone went outside to watch. Hermione, now obviously pregnant bounced up and down on her toes nervously. "Be careful, all of you!" she squealed.

"Perfect," Severus growled to Remus. "This is exactly how I wanted to end my summer. Watching a bunch of Gryffindors play Quidditch." At this point, Remus felt obliged to point out that he had married a Gryffindor. Snape sniffed. "I prefer to think of her as a mis-sorted Ravenclaw. She doesn't act half as Gryffindorish as the others."

Remus tried to hold back a snort and turned to the pre-game attempts to work out the teams. They were missing two beaters, three chasers, a keeper, and had an extra seeker. Charlie volunteered himself as a chaser, but no one else felt particularly willing to change their positions so they could have a toned down game.

Exasperated, Bill turned to the spectators. "Anyone else out there who played for their house?"

Remus and Severus immediately volunteered each other. "Beater," Remus said, pointing at Snape.

"Keeper," Snape said at the same time. The two men glared at one another.

Bill grinned. "Right. We still need two chasers and one beater."

Minerva McGonagall stood up unexpectedly, and everyone except Albus stared. "Chaser," she said firmly and walked over to the broom cupboard.

Tonks sighed and rolled her eyes. "Come on you two," she said to Remus and Snape, following Minerva. She pulled two bats out of the cupboard and tossed one to Severus. "What do you think, Severus? Me or a Weasley twin?"

Snape looked panicked for a moment, his eyes flicking to the Weasleys hovering above and back at the blue-haired Tonks. After a few minutes he decided. "I suppose if we broke up the twins they'd die. I'll partner with you."

Molly came over as well. "I never played all that seriously, but you know all my boy's talents had to come from somewhere, didn't you?" she asked the few stunned faces.

"Right then," Charlie said. "Let's have the Seekers as Captains. Draco, you first."

Draco looked contemptuously at the twins. "I'll take the teacher-beaters."

Harry smirked. "That leaves me the pranksters, who I wanted anyway. I'll take Bill as a keeper; let's keep the professors on your side for now."

"If you want to play that way, Professor McGonagall."

"Ginny."

"Charlie."

"Katie."

"Mrs. Weasley."

"Which one?"

"Molly, then. Happy?"

"Angelina, you're here with me," Harry said, motioning for her to come over.

She tossed her braided hair. "And of course you save your old captain for last."

Harry grinned. "Didn't want to show favoritism."

It was strange to be on a broom again, Remus thought as he kicked off. Strange and good at the same time. Like he had wings.

Tonks grinned at him when they were up in the air. "Don't worry, love, I won't let this old bat 'accidentally' hit anything at you."

"I'm good at dodging bludgers, thank you very much!" Remus retorted. "You just make sure no one else gets hit."

The match lasted past when they all wanted dinner, but no one wanted to call a halt. Finally, in the middle of a race to get to the snitch, Snape hit a particularly vindictive bludger at Harry, and he veered off, providing Draco with the opportunity he needed.

"And that," Snape said smugly, "was why Slytherin won the Quidditch cup in my seventh year."

"That was the first year you got it right," Remus commented. "Before you half as often hit your own team!"

"Like this?" Snape sent the other bludger straight at Remus' head.

"SNAPE!" Tonks roared as Remus just barely dodged by rolling over on his broom.

"Don't bother, Tonks," he said, hanging upside down on his broom. "He wouldn't have done it if he thought I couldn't dodge." He rolled himself upright. "I told you I was good at that."

Albus called everyone down to the ground and turned to Remus. "Would you mind catching the bludgers?" he asked.

Remus settled himself into a crouch as his answer. When the first one came at him, aiming for his head, he ducked and clapped his hands on either side of it as it whipped by overhead and rolled over backwards to break the momentum. Quickly he shoved it into its straps and went after the other one, which was currently terrorizing Neville Longbottom. "Duck!" he growled and lunged after it. This one he had to wrestle with a while before encasing it along with its partner. He looked up at the spectators, grinning and panting. "I forgot how much fun that is."

The twins were nearly dieing laughing, and everyone else was grinning back. Well. Except for Snape. But that had to be expected. And even he was fighting back a smile, his stern face twitching slightly. "Come on Severus," Remus goaded. "You know you want to laugh at me making a fool of my self rolling on the ground with a bludger that's trying to kill me."

Hermione poked her husband and he relented. "Well, now that you mention it..." he burst out laughing as well. "You did look fairly stupid."

The twins looked horrified. "Merlin..."

"He laughed."

They exchanged glances and ran inside, yelling, "Someone get him to St. Mungo's before he goes completely insane!"

***

It was strangely quiet now that there were only two people in the house, Remus thought. Just the crackling of the fire and his and Tonks' breathing. It was peaceful, after two months of the Order hanging around and being loud almost non-stop. A muffled boom came through the window. He winced and drew Tonks tighter to him. Of course the Weasley twins were still here experimenting. The week before Hogwarts started back, they needed some new pranks for the children to try out on Filch, to stay ahead of his dreaded list.

"Remus?" Tonks asked quietly.

He jumped slightly. He thought she had been sleeping for the past ten minutes. "Yeah?"

She turned and buried her face in his shoulder for a moment, then looked up at him, smiling. "I'm pregnant."

He stared at her. "Are you sure your mother was joking about the fertility spells?"

***

Remus was still in shock the next day as they Apparated to the train station at Hogsmeade. Tonks laughed at him. "Are you going to splinch yourself?" she teased before she vanished with a loud pop.

What? Oh, right. Remus, you fool, pull yourself together. He took a moment to compose himself before Apparating after her. "I can control myself very well when I need to," he informed her stiffly. Then he saw Snape looking at him curiously. "Oh lord," he mumbled into his hand. "And that didn't count!" he shot at the other man before he could start.

"I wasn't going to say anything. But may I be so bold as to inquire what you need to control yourself about?" he said, raising an eyebrow.

"No you may not." Remus picked up one bag and levitated the rest, walking towards the carriages, eyeing the thestrals warily. Tonks snickered quietly and followed. He put his arm around her once they got in the carriage. "Bloody Snape," he muttered.

"Oh hush. It wasn't that bad and you know it," she responded, smiling. "He'll forget about it in a couple of days. He'll just badger you about it until then."

"You are ever so reassuring, Tonks."

She grinned at him. "My specialty."

He huffed and sat back against the black cushioned seats as the carriage made its way up the hill. When they approached the castle, however, he sat up and grinned. "Oh good. My specialty." He drew his wand and slipped quietly out of the carriage, sneaking up on an unsuspecting poltergeist.

Peeves was busily shoving gum into the keyhole of the doors to the castle. Droobles, strawberry, his nose noticed. He hated strawberry. "Hello Peeves," he said casually. "What are you doing there?"

Peeves swung around as if he'd been stung. "Hello, Wolfie," he whined. "Peevesie here was just trying to get this gum out of the keyhole for you and the Professorhead. It's stuck, you see."

"Oh, that's very kind of you. Mind if I give you a hand?" He raised his wand. "Waddiwassi."

"No, no, that's... aargh!" He flew away swearing as the gum he had been so industriously clogging up the doors with shot up his nose.

"My hero!" Tonks proclaimed and leaped into his arms, surprising him with a kiss. Caught off guard, he fell back against the doors, and then onto the floor of the entrance hall as the doors were opened behind him. His breath whooshed out of his lungs, his body caught between the stone floor and Tonks and he cracked his head on the floor.

"Oh, er, hullo Headmaster," Tonks said sheepishly, looking up and giving Remus an excellent view down her shirt.

"Good day, Tonks. I would recommend getting up so your husband can catch his breath," Dumbledore said. Remus could picture the twinkle in his eyes as he said it.

"Right," she said, moving off him quickly.

Remus gasped and coughed, filling his lungs back up with sweet, precious air. "Thank you," he choked, sitting up.

"I trust that public displays of this much enthusiasm will be kept to a minimum when the students arrive?" Dumbledore asked.

"Yes sir," Tonks responded meekly. Remus was still too busy trying to breath to answer properly, but he nodded. "Notice," she whispered as the headmaster swept up the stairs, his back to them, "he only said to a minimum. And even then, not until the students return."

Remus choked again

***

"Remus, come on now. The students will be arriving any minute!" Tonks said, hands on her hips in the doorway. Remus ignored her and concentrated on the incredible softness of the pillow his face was buried in. Nice, soft pillow. Smelled like Tonks too. "Remus!"

"Don't feel good," he grunted.

"Then don't eat at the sorting feast! Honestly, you'd think you'd never gone through the change before! Come on, up with that carcass." When he didn't answer, she walked over to the bed and knelt down beside it. "If you don't get up right now, I'll go tell Snape that he can play whatever prank he likes on you, then hang you upside down in the Great Hall," she whispered.

He turned his head ever so slightly to look at her suspiciously. "You wouldn't."

"Try me."

Remus considered. He didn't think she would go through with the threat, but there was always a chance. And the sparkle that showed in her eyes only added to the probability that she would. He winced as he thought of the pranks Severus could think up for him, and sighed. "All right, all right." He let her pull him to his feet and started to stagger towards the door.

"What are you doing?"

He leaned on the doorframe and turned around, looking at her through bleary eyes. "Going to the Great Hall. Like you told me to."

"Not like that you aren't. You look like hell warmed over."

"I wonder why," Remus mumbled, passing a hand over his eyes.

Tonks rolled her eyes and pulled a chair over to him. "Sit," she ordered. He did so gladly and fell back into his half stupor, allowing her to brush his hair and rearrange his robes into some sort of order. When she was done, she sat back on her heels and looked at him. "Any idea why you feel like this?" she asked him.

"Unh?" Remus jerked his head up. "What?"

"You've never been like this before that I know of."

He thought as hard as his foggy mind would let him. "Four hundred seventy-three," he said finally.

"What?"

"Four hundred seventy-three full moons. I think that's as long as any werewolf has lived before. I don't think we're supposed to live this long."

Tonks looked slightly panicked as he finished his comment, but didn't say anything about it. "Well, you look as good as you're going to get right now," she said brusquely, and stood up. "Just try and stay somewhat attentive through the sorting, then we can get back."

Somehow, he did as he was told, but nothing much registered on his brain during the feast. He clapped when everyone else did, but wasn't entirely sure what he was clapping for. As Tonks helped him out of the hall when the students were starting to eat, he saw Snape looking at him strangely.

Partway through the walk back to his and Tonks' rooms, he started shaking. Tonks frowned. "You really must be sick. You're far too warm to be shivering like that."

His periods of lucidity were few and far between after that moment. He vaguely heard Tonks say that she'd let him sleep tomorrow, he could meet the first year Gryffindors and Ravenclaws in their next lesson, and once when he woke in the night, shivering badly, he felt her press herself against him to try and warm him and stop his shaking.

***

Tonks looked up at the nervous first year that had shyly raised her hand. "Yes, um, Miss Wood?"

"Professor Lupin, Ma'am, why do we have you and your husband listed for our teachers?"

"Call me Tonks. Well, this way you don't have to have mean, evil Professor Snape teach when my husband isn't feeling well. And I'm going to be teaching you about dark spells and dueling techniques, which is my specialty, and Remus is going to teach you about..."

"Dark creatures such as myself," Remus interrupted, leaning on the doorpost, pale and shaking.

Tonks frowned. "You are supposed to be in bed."

"I'm feeling well enough to try and learn a few names and explain a few things," he retorted and then turned back to the class.

"Alright, here's a quick lesson for you. But first, I need to know a couple of things. Who here has heard of werewolves, even in Muggle stories?" Every hand was raised. "Who here has read anything real about them, and I don't mean in books by Gilderoy Lockhart." Half the hands went down. "And of you, how many know that werewolves can control themselves with a potion?" Another half went down. "And how many know that I am a werewolf who takes that disgusting potion?" No hands were left up and everyone looked at him, frightened. "So, because I take that potion, I will not hurt you. Otherwise, the best way to defend yourself against a werewolf is wolfsbane, which causes an allergic reaction so we can't breath and gives you time to run away, silver bullets and a rifle if you're bent on killing us, or you could just climb a tree and wait until moonset if you don't think the human will attack you."

"Not that you'd be in any shape to attack anyone after the full moon," Tonks muttered.

"Wolf-born are," Remus retorted, then swayed and clutched the doorframe.

Tonks gave an annoyed growl and went to catch him before he fell. "I'll be right back," she told the class. "Don't start anything or I'll dock house points. From both houses, no matter who started it." She gently led a now only half-conscious Remus back into their rooms and put him back in bed. After covering him carefully, she walked back out into the classroom muttering to herself.

"Right then," she said brightly to the class. "Where were we? Ah." She picked up a piece of chalk and started to write the syllabus on the blackboard. "This year we're going to be covering..." She was interrupted again as Snape billowed into the room, smelling like a potions accident.

"Class dismissed," he snapped. "Tonks, I need to talk to you."

"Is this important enough to not only interrupt my class but completely end it as well?" she asked, slightly irked, but motioned to the students to pack up anyway.

"Peeves apparently got into my potions supplies," he informed her.

She tossed the chalk back into its holder. "And?" she asked, spreading her arms and shrugging. "This hardly has anything to do with me. Perhaps Remus could help you, but he's not feeling well right now."

"That's what I was afraid of. Where is he?" Snape demanded as the last students left.

"He's sleeping."

Snape cursed in the way only an ex Death Eater could, and ran towards the door that led to where Remus was sleeping at a dead sprint.