Not Another Wedding Story

PERCY WEASLEY: BROTHER, POLITICIAN, FLOWER GIRL

Percy Weasley's rise and fall from power was like something from a very bad soap opera. Originally, his ambition had raised him high to the rank of Junior Undersecretary to the Minister of Magic himself. However, this was but a fraction of how far Percy believed he could go.

First, he managed to find some photographs of the Minister Fudge in bed with a lovely young woman who was not his wife. Much more than that, Percy found pictures of Fudge paying this woman a rather large amount of money for her services. Upon Percy showing the pictures to Fudge, he resigned. However, the Daily Prophet got it wrong, and kicked up a fuss about Fudge getting the sack. Fudge played along with it.

Then, Percy's campaign for power was almost flattened when Rufus Scimgeour got the top job. He seemed infallible. Loyal and devoted to both work and wife. So, Percy turned his attention to getting other high-powered officials out of the way.

After Scimgeour he had to look to the various Heads of Departments. People like Ludo Bagman were easy to find dirt on, however it was much more difficult to find the stuff on the likes of Amos Diggory. Actually, it turned out he'd turned to drink after his son's death, so he pretty much ruined his own political career.

Then, Voldemort was defeated by Harry Potter, and it all went completely downhill from there.

Almost daily, the Daily Prophet was reporting some scandal or another about what the Ministry had been up to during Voldemort's brief reign of terror. Many important officials were forced to resign. In the chaos, Percy was named Head of the Department of International Cooperation. From this platform, he was able to channel complaints from other nations over the way the Ministry was run.

Then, Umbridge resigned when she was caught in Scimgeour's office with Quidditch legend Oliver Wood. Scimgeour was not pleased. He threw Umbridge out of the building with cries of "How could you?" and "I thought we had something special!" In the weeks that followed Percy found Scimgeour not to be as noble as first thought. He was just very good at concealing his private life.

Then came the story in the Prophet. The headlines were devastating:

MINISTER OF MAGIC CAUGHT IN BED WITH QUIDDITCH STAR

SCRIMGEOUR'S OFFICE ORGY

OUR MINISTER'S FURRY LITTLE PROBLEM

And so on and so forth. Thus, with so many officials gone, Percy Weasley was practically handed the job on the spot. However, he too had a secret life.

It was during an interview for the Daily Prophet. Truly, the worst possible moment for your private life to get out is when Rita Skeeter is in the room.

She had just asked him what he thought of Umbridge, to which he said "Screw the bitch; I'm glad she got sacked." Umbridge then choose that moment to jump out of his closet.

He regretted putting two closets in the room, as Oliver Wood came out the other one. Battle commenced in the Minister's Office, and Rita Skeeter was there for every juicy detail.

In the following few days Percy Weasley was dragged kicking and screaming from the Ministry. He was later found guilty of blackmail, extortion and just generally being a git. Fred and George Weasley were the only ones who gave evidence concerning the last part.

Although this called for a heavy jail term, Percy got off lightly with community service. Rumours that he had the dirt on the judge were never proven.

So, Percy lived his life in his flat with Oliver Wood, who was serving a ban from Quidditch because of when he slipped some U-No-Poo into the drinks of several of his opponents. He ended up losing the match anyway.

And now, Percy was back in his parents' kitchen, dressed in a tutu, trying to convince his sister that he was a fantastic replacement for a little girl. Needless to say, he was fighting an uphill battle. However, somewhere in Percy's mind was a great general, trying to rally the troops and raise their morale for one last assault. Sadly, the great general was also in drag.

"You need to get ready pretty soon," Percy told her. "And we don't have time to argue."

Unbelievably, Ginny folded like an umbrella. Percy would be dancing around throwing flowers at people. And if there was time, he might go to the wedding. Percy gave a scream of joy, then pirouetted out into the garden where he danced singing I'm a Little Flower Princess, looking for a Prince to kiss.

Ginny sighed, and decided she had more important matters to attend to.

Harry sat in the kitchen, and sulked a little bit more.

Eventually, Hermione came down the stairs again. Fed up with Harry's mood, she decided it was time to tell him just what was what.

"Right Harry James Potter," she snapped, sitting down opposite him. "The last few years have been bad, I'll admit that. But that is no reason to sit here moaning about the girl that got away. So, I'm giving you two options: One, continue being an absolute loser who spoils everyone's fun. Or two, march your arse up those stairs and confront your demons and tell her everything." Harry looked at her.

"Everything?" he asked at last.

"Everything."

Harry made up his mind, and decided to sit there. Until Hermione slapped him over the back of the head. Rubbing his head and cursing, he made his way upstairs, followed by the menacing gaze of one of his oldest friends.

The way to Ginny's room seemed longer than it had ever done before. Eventually, he found himself outside a room of memories. He remembered the summer after it all, when he'd snuck into Ginny's room one night. And he remembered how it had been Ron who'd caught them at it. He would have smiled, were he not such a grumpy git these days.

Slowly, he reached out his hand, and knocked.

"That'd better not be the groom!" came the singsong voice of Molly Weasley.

"I wish I was," Harry muttered under his breath. "It's Harry," he said louder. There was a loud thump behind the door, and Molly opened it just a crack.

"What's wrong Harry?" she asked her voice full of concern. Harry mumbled something incoherent, but Molly knew what was wrong.

"Ginny dear, I just have to see Hermione a moment," she said, before opening the door and sneaking off, giving Harry a shake of the head.

Then, he entered into what seemed like a dream. There, standing by the mirror was Ginny, clad in a blinding white, her hair tied back. Harry just froze for a moment.

"Harry? What's wrong?" she asked.

He didn't know where to begin.

###

Hermione nodded with satisfaction when Harry finally entered. Now they could get past this at last. She just hoped Ginny let him down gently. However, she found this trail of thought rudely interrupted by a pounding on the door. She opened the front door, to see Draco Malfoy had come for his second visit to the Burrow that day.

"Give me the closest thing to a pureblood you can find!"

"What on earth for?" Hermione asked.

"No time," he explained. "I just need someone."

"What about Bill?" she asked.

"No, my parents will never listen to a Weasley."

"What are you talking about?" she asked. Draco told her.

"I'll get Harry," she told him.

She sprinted up the stairs, glancing at the clock. Only an hour to go. This would be cutting it very fine indeed. She burst into Ginny's room without knocking, to see Harry and Ginny locked together in a hug.

"Harry!" she gasped for breath. "Urgent, downstairs, now!" She grabbed him by the arm, and dragged him away from a perplexed Ginny, into the arms of an even more perplexed Malfoy.

"He'll do," Draco said.

The problem, as Harry found out, was the wedding rings. Originally it was Zabini's job to look after him, so he'd left them on his dressing table. However, now it was Ron's duty to look after them. Sadly, Ron had not classified closing the window as part of this duty, and a ferret got in. Whenever Ron went to get the rings, all he found was a rather contented looking ferret.

So Ron, being Ron, screamed obscenities and chased the poor little ferret out the window. He hadn't been seen since.

Now, Draco had to try and get hold of another pair of wedding rings, as he was not at all confident Ron was fast enough to catch a ferret.

Once Harry had finished laughing, Draco explained what he'd have to do. Zabini's other job was to keep the Malfoys and Weasleys from fighting. Naturally, no Malfoy would take orders from a Weasley, and vice-versa. Nor would any person of reasonably sound mind take orders from Crabbe and Goyle. So, Draco in desperation had asked for anybody. Even Harry.

So Harry made his way to the church, having been given the "services" of Crabbe and Goyle for his mountainous task. Their first job was to sit Zabini down at the front. Harry used a convenient wooden cross to prop him up on the chair.

He rubbed his hands together, and checked his watch. Half an hour till crunch time. Plenty of time.

How wrong he was.