Close to Grace

This story is about love, but not about romance. This is about what a person will do to ensure the people he loves will remain safe. This is the story about sacrificing everything to receive nothing. This story is about the search for something more, but mostly this is a story about walking the line between sin and grace.

Chapter 3: Silence and Secrets

"I believe

This is Heaven

to no one else but me

And I'll defend it long as

I can be left here to linger in silence if I choose to would you try to understand?"(Elsewhere by Sarah McLachlan)

Everyone had to have their own secrets and James Weasley had his own. He hated his family. Well hate could be the wrong word; after all they had given him life. But he knew the hypocrisy they lived in. They were Weasleys, and the world thought they were one big happy family. His grandfather was the happily married, patriarch of a rag to riches family. He had become the Minister of Magic, by unanimous vote, after the fall of Voldemort. His uncles, Fred and George, owned the most profitable business in the wizarding world, second only to Ollivanders. His Uncle Percy was the youngest member of the International Wizards committee. His uncles Charlie and Bill, well they weren't famous per say, unless one could count their frequent appearances on the Daily Prophet's, "Most Charming Smile. And then there were his parents. They were famous. No, famous was not a strong enough word, they were legendary. Not a child in the wizarding world grew up with out hearing the tale of Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley. They were a modern day Cinderella story. There wedding had been broadcast, through telekey, a wizarding form of the muggle television, in over fifty countries. The Weasley family lit the Christmas tree at the Ministry every year, looking elegant in dress robes of red and green, but every child in the wizarding world did not attend family holidays. Family holidays were spent with much family squabbling, cool compliments, and icy looks behind one's back. Molly Weasley was hardly pleased that her two eldest sons never married. And Fred and George always gave their younger brother a look of disgust as they sat down to talk about the latest in the world of "crime control." Yes, everyone had their secrets, and James Weasley hated his family because of their secrets.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

A few weeks had passed since Harry had appeared in Godric's Hallow, and Hermione still could not find any explanation for what had happened. Harry couldn't remember why he had come back or exactly where it was he had been. Hermione felt useless. She had scanned through all the books provided by Hogwarts and yet was still unable to find anything. She had taken to floo-ing into Diagon Alley to go to the National Wizarding Library, just to find answers. Yet she knew, the best they could do was wait until Harry knew more. Harry had spent the last weeks reacquainting himself with the past twenty years. One by one the Weasleys, who were sworn to secrecy, stopped by to see their favorite "son." In fact, the only members of the Weasley clan who did not know about Harry's miraculous reappearance were her two children. They were set to come to home for their spring break, and Hermione knew she would have some explaining to do. No, she hadn't done anything more with Harry, nor had she begun to talk to Ron about her feelings toward Harry. She knew it was wrong of her, but for some reason she found it comforting to know that Ron and Harry were back again, looking after her. She never thought she would admit that she liked them being there, but together, she loved them. And so, evenings were spent like old times, Ron and Harry playing chess and Hermione reading lazily by the fire. But now, her children were coming home and this did not fill her with anything except impending doom.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Since The Potter had left the Magiviertal, few had said what was really on their minds. The Sadinoha were on the edge, because they knew they would soon be called upon to divine the fate of the Magiviertal. But Cassandra knew something the others did not. When the Master had chosen her, he did not know she was already receiving divine dreams. She knew what was going to happen and she was going to do whatever she could to change it. If everything went the way the Master wanted them to go, then all would be lost; magic would cease to exist.

Cassandra put her cloak on, she was going out. It was rare that she left the Magiviertal, and even when she did, she had to be careful to get the correct charms cast by a member of the Guild or the Master himself.

"Are you ready Cassandra?" Cassandra nodded. The emerald eyed goddess of the Eternal Guild was her favorite. Maybe it was because she was like herself in some ways. She was a witch, but she was also muggle born. She should not, by all accounts have been invited into the Magiviertal, but the Guild had wanted her, just as the Guild had wanted Cassandra.

Cassandra had learned much in the 24 years she had worked in the Magiviertal. She had learned who to trust and who to ignore. The Master, was nothing more than a recruiter with high ambitions. He felt his role was one which made him God. But he wasn't, after all the Magiviertal was not Heaven, nor was there a need for a God. He was merely a man, who was chosen, by the members of the Guild to search for Sadinoha and persuade members of the houses of the Guilds to come back to the 'viertal (as they all called it for short.)

But back to the Goddess, as Cassandra had taken to calling her, each member of the Guild had their own name. The Potter for instance was an obvious name, and really she could never figure out why the Guild members changed their names upon arrival in the viertal. But they did, and that changed nothing. The Potter was the son of the Goddess. Cassandra had dreams of the two of them for years before she came to the viertal. In her dreams the Goddess would sing lullabies to her child, who was a world away. Her green eyes would stare mournfully at her son as she comforted him when he was alone or frightened. So when she came to the Magiviertal and found that the Goddess was real, she felt comfort in the place immediately and became fast friends with the Goddess. The Goddess had even told Cassandra to call her by her given name: Lily. With an inward sigh she buttoned up her cloak and turned to Lily,

"Yes, I am ready, Milady."

Lily smiled, she secretly hated the formalities of the viertal. "I can only shield you for a day from the Master's sight, make sure you do what needs to be done." With that she placed the kiss of the Guild upon her forehead and Cassandra was gone. Well, at least from the Magiviertal.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Harry was alone at the house. Hermione had gone to Diagon Alley and Ron was working at the Ministry. In the three weeks he had been "home" he had noticed a few things about life in the Granger-Weasley family. In fact, he had learned some things about the Weasleys in general since his return. For one, Molly Weasley never changed. She rushed into the house and choked Harry in a hug that had been building for twenty years. Harry had been surprised at how much he had missed her. But he also had to face the sad truth that something, had come between the once impenetrable family. The fissure seemed to lie somewhere between the twins and Ron. Though why, Harry had no idea. It seemed like Ron was living a wonderful life. From what Harry and seen and heard, Ron adored his children. He doted on Rebecca, and despite James' house, he was happy. Yes, by all appearances the Granger-Weasley household was a happy one. But Harry also knew that Hermione was unhappy. So unhappy, she had been unable to recover from his "death." She was often distant, Ron had told him, and lacked any thought for her own life. Ron had told Harry about the nightmares she had, and how long it had taken for her to get out of bed after the funeral. And Harry knew that Ron was not happy. Not if he admitted it to himself. So Harry was stuck in the middle, unsure of what was to come, or what he should do. It was beginning to appear that he was back for good, but the last time he had thought something was permanent he was sent back to this place. Because Harry remembered where he was, no, more so, he remembered who had been with him. He could remember his parents. Lily and James were in that place, heaven, or whatever it was. And, he had been lonely even in the company of his parents. He had missed Hermione.

So Harry sat, waiting for someone to come home when he heard the door open. Into the parlor walked a tall girl who looked so familiar to Harry. In fact, he knew her, her name was, "Cassandra, what brings you here?"

He didn't know where the name came from, it was there, as familiar to him as the instinct to breathe or pull out his wand at the first hint of danger.

"Good afternoon Milord. I have come because you are in danger."

"Milord?" Harry raised an eyebrow. "Forgive me, but I seem to be missing something."

Cassandra walked up to Harry, slowly she raised her thin hands to his temples. Her hands were cold against his slowly warming face.
"You know from where I came Milord. And you know what you were sent to do," she said, her voice as soft as honey, massaging his temples. And suddenly it shot through his brain, like a bolt of lighting.

His mother kissed him on the forehead, and his father gave him a hug.
"This is the right thing. You must go early, before the Master is aware, otherwise there is no hope. Go, take this, it will restore you and then the battle can be fought, and the Viertal will be safe for a thousand years," James said, putting his hand upon his son's shoulder.

"But, will I see you both again?" Harry asked, he could feel something inside him breaking. Sure he had been distraught when he left Hermione, but he knew a part of him would stay here with his parents.

"Harry, look at me. We love you, and from here, we can see what happens. We will always be here to protect you. We love you; after all, you are our son. Now go, and save this way of life. And-" she said with a small smile, the dimples of her cheeks lighting up, "reunite with Hermione. Bring her back and we can begin to live happily ever after."

Cassandra dropped her hands and looked into Harry's emerald green eyes. They were so full of emotion Cassandra could barely name one.

"You see, it is important, in the following days that you do not forget what was said in the Magiviertal, our lives depend upon you. Magic depends upon you."

"Why is it always me?" Harry voiced the one question he had wanted to ask since he was a child of eleven.

Cassandra took him in, and smiled.

"Everyone has their path. Every life has its place. I can only tell what will happen, just as the Master can only persuade a person. Your friend Ron has his place, just as his son James does. Each life has its place, Harry. And yours is to be the hero. I think you have learned enough now to know there is no other way about it."

"But-" "Harry, Fate has given you a wonderful gift; you have a second chance to ensure her entrance with you. It should have been that way all along, but some things take a couple tries." She pulled something out of her cloak and handed it to Harry.

"Here, Harry, I believe this belongs to you. I think you may want to share it with Hermione." The envelope was thick in his hands. The smooth paper felt like silk and Harry knew what it was, it was his explanation to Hermione, his proof that he could still love her.

"Goodbye Milord, and good luck, though something tells me you may not need it if all goes right."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Ron's team had been working on locating the other half of the prophecy that foretold Harry's original fate. He was beginning to know what Hermione had felt like all those years ago, when she had spent hours upon end in the library. He did not sign up to be a researcher, but few could be trusted with the knowledge that the Boy Who Lived was indeed alive again. Besides that, Ron could not let anyone know of his involvement in the first half of the prophecy. It was, after all, his fault that Harry had left and "died-"

"Only the Heir's Gatekeeper can perform the spell,

cast out mortal life- for Eternal life and bring an end

to A Dark Lord's reign. The Gatekeeper holds the key and

only through his encouragement

can the Heir be returned to the source

a score..."

The rest had been torn off. Ron had been so filled with jealousy that he did not care what the other half said, now if only he did. The other must be the reason why Harry came back, and that was something that was very important. Because one part of Ron felt regret for what he had done to Harry. After all he had chosen Harry's future without giving him the option to know what was going to happen. Yet another part of him felt that Harry knew that he would have to sacrifice himself to save the world, and he did. Did that mean that Ron had to give up Hermione, just because the Boy Who Lived came back to life? Sure, a part of Ron knew they did not have what other couples had, namely true love. Of course they cared about each other deeply, but it had always been so. Ron knew he could still start a life for himself, maybe even marry and be happy. But there was the fact that Hermione was his, not in a manner of possession, but she chose him to be her caretaker. And so Ron Weasley went around in a vicious circle over and over again uncertain, even after three weeks, how to feel about his best friends' future.

Ron decided to stop dwelling on such ideas and look into why his friend had returned. The answer had to lie somewhere within these books, he smiled to himself, after being married to Hermione for twenty-one years a bit of her must have rubbed off on him.

The book entitled Secrets of the Lost Covenants seemed to be the place for Ron to start. Of course it would help if Sirius would help him more, but Ron could not be choosey. At any rate, Ron skimmed the 5,000 page book with heavy eyelids until he came upon a small foot note (well it was really a page and a half, but considering the size of the other footnotes in this book Ron was surprised at its length, or lack thereof.)

While few wizards agree on the origins of Magic, many agree that is all resides in one spot, in the ancient days referred to as the Magiviertal. (Ron really wished it would tell him something he didn't know. After all this is what Sirius had already told him. Ron skimmed through the next paragraph, and than he saw something that struck him as curious.) The most common among theories of the Magiviertal is the Hierarchy theory. The heirs to the Magiviertal can only enter through the help of their personal gatekeeper. The gatekeeper is only aware of his duty through prophecies delivered by the very unoriginal name, the Messenger. From whom the messenger receives these prophecies is a mystery. Rune expert, Cheri Rockoforte from the French institute of Magical Studies, claims to have found Runes predicting the last fifty members of the guild, as well as the downfall of the Magiviertal. She will not however, even for the sake of this book, reveal what this means for the rest of the Magical community, "Why would I tell you?" she asks. "You only want to twist my words into horrible lies, and I for one will not tolerate it!"

Cheri Rockoforte, well now, Ron knew where to start. He needed to make a trip to France.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

James was distressed. He was leaving in an hour for Hogsmeade and would not be see his girlfriend for a week. Ophelia Lynn Malfoy and James had been dating for over a year and a half in secret. If his parents knew he was dating a Malfoy, well, James really didn't want to explain the secrets he would need to explain. And so, James made his way toward the Head Girl's room, with much secrecy, trying to avoid any sign of Filch. The corridor began to turn more humid, and the walls a bit more slimy, and soon James found himself in front of her door. He knocked on the door and waited for her to answer.

"James!" she said as she opened the door, her bright blue eyes and blonde hair conveying the image of an angel. Though angel, she was not. She was someone that other girls steered clear of, her wrath being something that no one dares to cross.

She embraced him in a hug, her lips moving to his and her hands moving down onto his butt. Yes she was definitely no angel.

James pulled away from the girl and snuck into her room. They continued their snog session and finally, once the two of them had had enough she brought up his visit.

"What brings the good old Ravenclaw down into the deep dungeons of Slytherin?" she asked with mirth in her voice.

"I have to go home." He paused, unsure how he could explain what he had been seeing, without sounding crazy. "I don't know, I just don't have a good feeling about what is going to happen, that's all."

"Well if either of your parents gives you a hard time just high tail it back up here and we will go straight to Daddy's cottage in the Highlands. A few days alone would be nice," she said, her hand moving along his torso, caressing him in a way he really wished she wouldn't. Yet again, if he didn't have to leave, it would be nice, to sit here with her and let her bring him to relaxation and ecstasy.

"Yes they would, but we will have that soon enough Lia. Because I am going to clear things up, and then once I am finished, we can live happily ever after. No more talk of old families and houses, nothing but eternity together," he said, his eyes growing dark.

"Yes, one day," she said, standing up and helping him up. "Don't you need to get on the carriage? I mean, I know how your mum is, and she will be distraught if you aren't with your sister acting every bit the good little boy you are suppose to be." The last bit was thrown with such a bit of sarcasm that James had to smile.

"Only you can get out of making fun of me. I love you."

"Yeah, me too."

"Good bye."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Rebecca and James Weasley walked through Hogsmeade along the familiar paths they knew as well as the lines on their palms. The children had grown up in the shadow of the big castle. The surrounding mountains, as if painted for a fairy book, encircled the little town, protecting it from outsiders. James never cared for Hogsmeade, it was too artificial, too much the tourist town, and in all honesty that is what it is. The only people who lived in Hogsmeade were the shop keepers, Professors, and his parents. James walked up to his house, a small stone cottage, much larger than it appeared, and opened the door.

To travel to Hogsmeade, one must have ministry approval. A security precaution, put in place during the first Voldemort War, and never dismantled. To get to Hogsmeade, unless taking the Hogwarts express, one needed to receive a special visa-portkey to travel to Hogsmeade. All residents must have their blood on file with the ministry and are subject to random testing. So you, my dear reader, can imagine James and Rebecca's surprise to find a complete stranger asleep in their living room.

"Go to your room Rebecca and do not come out until I come and get you." James whispered. Rebecca, not one for missing out on the adventure of whatever was going to happen let out a small sigh and shot James a glare.

"I have as much right to be here as you."

"Rebecca!" James said in warning. She knew she would not get anywhere. James was tyrannical, and he was in her mum's favor.

"Fine, but don't say I wasn't there to help you. It's a wonder you didn't end up in Slytherin, you oppressive, totalitarian,-"

"Rebecca, I suggest you go now, before mom hears about this," James said, smirking inside at his sister's accusation. If only she knew how close he had come, he thought.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Rebecca Jean Weasley stormed to her room, upset with James and upset with her parents. James was mum's favorite and she, Rebecca, was the apple of her father's eye. But that didn't mean much in the Weasley household. Mum ran the show around the house, at least where her children were concerned. Dad, was laid back, he didn't care so much for what his children did in school, so long as they were honorable. Mom, Rebecca sometimes felt, cared little for the family she had raised. Rebecca remembered the days when she was little. Nothing she did could impress her mum. When she was little she tried to be successful, she tried making friends with all the little girls; but somehow that was impossible. She never could get close to any girls, at least not in a way that mattered. Her two best friends were the beaters on the Gryffindor team. She was a good student, probably top of her class, but she was always more interested in the latest gag gift her uncles sent her. Rebecca felt she was everything James was, and more, but her mum didn't think so. She looked at Rebecca as if something were hurting her. Something Rebecca felt immensely guilty for. So, Rebecca stopped trying to grow close to her mum, and began looking toward her father. And that is what brought Rebecca to sit on her bed, in tears, thinking of her mum's horrible disregard of her feelings.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Hermione struggled under the weight of her groceries; she was late and knew there could be trouble. She hoped to the gods that Ron was on his way home. Her children were great children: respectable, caring, smart, and loving; the list went on forever. But her James was also very; well what was the right word, definitely somewhere between inquisitive and protective. He was very bright, and could often deduct what a situation really entailed. And that was what bothered Hermione. James knew her past, well, not really her past, just a few of her skeletons.

When James had been born, and Hermione had heard the comment that Ron had made to his mother, Hermione was scared for the first time in years. She had been strong for a year, while they had been making preparations for the wedding and getting into the groove of being married, and then, suddenly she was a mother. Oh, she loved the idea, but she was afraid as well. What if she was a horrible mother? Suddenly, she felt unprepared to handle such a life, and wanted nothing more than to get away. But she didn't, she stuck through it and James got older. And soon, she found herself pregnant again. The overwhelming feeling came back, as did her feelings of loss and inadequacy. And then, Rebecca was born two days from the ten year anniversary of Harry's death.

To say that Hermione had not wanted Rebecca, would be a exaggeration, but to say that Rebecca came at the wrong time, would be right on target. Her depression was back, and it was reminiscent of her year after Harry's death. But, at least after Harry died, only Ron had seen her the way she was. Near the edge, ready for nothing more than eternal sleep. But when Rebecca was born, the thought brought tears to her eyes, making them burn like salty wounds, her son had seen her at her worst. She had tried to do "it" again, the same unmentionable thing she had done after Harry's death. That was what "it" was, unmentionable. No one ever talked about "it", not Ron, not James, not the other Weasleys, and certainly not her parents. No, it was something that she was to deal with, alone and quiet. Hell, she didn't even know what James understood of her grief. But he knew that her heart was breaking, and there was nothing Daddy could do about it.

But, James stopped being the silly, carefree boy he had been until his sister's arrival. He suddenly became serious, reading more and more, and striving to do whatever she felt was best. He stayed away from Quidditch, simply because she did not like "such a dangerous sport" as she so often said.

Hermione rushed home, the weight of her bags straining her arms, just as the weight of her past, strained her soul.

**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Sirius, I need to go to France. There is a woman there who knows about the Magiviertal, knows things and prophecies that we desperately need to know."

Sirius looked back at Ron, quit indifferently. He frankly did not care what the prophecies said.

"Ron, the department is stopping its investigations. They, well frankly, we feel as if it is a waste. Harry Potter has returned, and many feel blessed even if it is only for a few months. He is a hero to the hedgerows, and frankly the Ministry does not want to send him back too quickly."

"I assume the Minister of Magic had the final say in this?" Ron asked. Ron could feel the blood boiling in his veins. The Ministry? Well, he could see that. Leave it to his father to be the one, after all, his mother often ran the show.

"Ron, I would think-"

"Yes," Ron said with a nod. "Sirius, I know, 'that I would be happy'. But you seem to forget that we are not innocent here."

"I haven't the slightest clue what you are talking about," Sirius said, the mischief of his lie dancing in his dark eyes.

"What happens if Harry remembers? What happens when he tells the world what we did?"

Sirius clicked his tongue at Ron, chastising him in the process. "Ron, I should think you know by now, it was not I who did this, but you. And besides, we can't change the things they do, what the Eternal Guilds do, they do for a reason."

"When the hell did you start believing in that pile of horse shit?"

"When I had to loose the only family I had ever known. You think you have it bad, Ron? Not only did I loose my parents to this stupid tradition, but my two best friends, my wife and child, and my godson. Never, please never, come back here to tell me that you are afraid of the consequences of your actions!" Sirius let out a kind of sob, and left Ron alone to ponder what was to be done.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Who are you?" James asked the stranger on the couch. The lights were out, and James could only see that the shadowy figure was not his father. He'd had this dream before, they came with the other dreams. The fire of the town, burning deep behind the images. Chaos above everything else, and James was in control. This was the beginning, and he knew what was to be done. This man would cause heartache, no, had caused heartache. And in one moment, within the chaos and fire, screams and tears, this man or his father would die.

James knew this man; this man was the man who made his mother cry. And on those lonely nights when James prayed an almost primitive prayer to save his mother from the grief she felt, he was visited. An angel of mercy, he thought, had come to him, and granted him with visions of the future. Visions that showed he could change everything, no more house, no more Guilds.

The figure rolled over, and James froze, taking in a breath, it was the One. This man who be his ticket, this man would ensure his entrance to the Magiviertal.

"Good after noon Harry Potter." James smirked.

Harry looked up at the blurry man before him. It took a few seconds to register the scene, but finally Harry recognized the man, as Hermione's boy.

"How-" He cleared his throat. "How do you know my name?"

"Oh, I know lots about you Harry Potter. I know about your heroic deeds. I know about the way you met my father, and the way you became friends with my mother. Though I must say, one mustn't believe all the stories one hears in the tabloid books. Otherwise, one would be under the impression you and my mother had an affair. Of course we both know that is bollocks, you would never do that to your best friend would you?" James asked with the earnest of a schoolboy gossip.

Harry felt uncomfortable, this boy, was much too comfortable talking about his past. What did he know? "Of course not."

"No, of course not. You are Harry Potter after all, and you have saved the wizarding world at least eight times. But honestly, wasn't the last deed the best. You left your two comrades behind in order to fight the battle alone. Such bravery, such bravery I admire."

"Well, thanks I guess." Harry sat up, straightening his glasses, he was cold, and the words that Cassandra had given him were still playing in his mind. If only he could shake the paranoia she had brought to his mind as well as the headache that was plaguing him.

"Your welcome, so what brings you around? I mean what happen, did you fall out of the sky or something?"

"James Arthur Weasley!" Hermione walked through the door, groceries in hand and a scowl on her face. "Why in heaven's name are you pestering Mr. Potter? Get over here and help me with these bags."

"Mum, I was not pestering. Did it ever dawn on you, mum, to use a simple levitation charm?" James said, whipping out his wand. "Honestly, mum, one would think you still wanted to be a muggle."

"James," she said in warning. "Why don't you go upstairs, I was hoping to introduce you to Harry later, and I still think that would be best. He looks tired, did you wake him up?"

"Yes, mother, I did. I assumed he was some stray bum who had come to take a kip on our couch. Excuse me for waking him up." James hurried out of the room before his mother could say anything else.

Hermione put the bags in the kitchen and sat down next to Harry on the couch. Its beige fabric stood out brightly against the maroon of her skirt.

"Harry," she said looking down at him. "Are you okay?"

Harry fingered the smooth envelope he had forgotten lay in his hands.

"Yes, I'm fine Hermione, just a little headache."

Hermione scoffed, a little headache to Harry, was usually a full blown migraine to the normal man or woman.

"Seriously, it's just small, as if I haven't been wearing my glasses."

"Okay, if you say so. Listen, I need to go start supper, but maybe later we can talk, just the two of us." Harry nodded, it would be nice to spend some time alone with her. Since their fight, she hadn't been alone with him. At first Harry, was glad, he hadn't wanted to change anything between Ron and Hermione, but since Cassandra had visited, he knew it was time for her to know what had happened. It was time for the truth to be told.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~

"He is here Master." James spoke to the small glass orb.

"Good, everything is falling into place. I told you this would happen, did I not James?"

"Yes you did Master. When do I act?"

"We will wait until it is time. Soon it will be time for the truth to set the worlds free."