In the Middle

Harry took a deep breath. His words would not come easily.

Ron and Hermione waited patiently. Hermione's hands were folded in her lap, her face turned curiously towards his. Ron drummed his fingers on the table, a glazed over look in his eyes.

Harry heard a buzzing noise near his ear, the whine of a mosquito flitting past.

The three of them had built a life for themselves. A life based on running and hiding, fear and uncertainty, but a life.

And he was about to shatter it.

They'd destroyed three horcruxes, leaving one undiscovered. Three. One was left.

Harry bowed his head and gripped his knees. His palms were damp.

"What's wrong, Harry?"

At the serious tone in Hermione's voice, Ron straightened, looking worried for the first time.

Harry hesitated.

"I think I know where the last horcrux is," he said.

"Oh, yeah?" Ron said, brightening. "That's fantastic! Where?"

Harry licked his lips. "Here."

Ron frowned and craned his neck around, searching the kitchen. Hermione stiffened, her eyes flying to Harry's face.

"It's..." Harry's tongue could barely form the words. Clumsily, he pointed to his forehead. "It's my scar."

Their reactions were immediate.

Ron's head snapped around, his mouth falling open. Hermione gasped and covered her mouth.

"Yeah," Harry said.

He couldn't look at them. His eyes drifted over to the mosquito; it was nothing but a black speck on the wall. "The more I think about it, the more sense it makes."

Ron's voice was a strangled croak. "Are you mental?"

"No, no I'm not," Harry said, a feeling of calm descending on him. "I know it's hard to accept, but--"

"Hard to accept?" Ron said loudly. "You think?"

"Ron--"

"I can't believe you would just give in like this, you of all people."

"Don't be silly, Ron," Hermione said. "Harry's not... he's not giving up. We just--we need to find some way around it." She looked at Harry, her face pale. "Right?"

Harry couldn't bear her pleading eyes. "I think it's obvious what I have to do."

"What?" Ron yelled. "You are mental!" He turned to Hermione. "He's gone mental!"

"I'm not!" Harry said, standing. "Listen to me, it makes sense--all of it does. That's why I've always been so connected to him. Don't you see? If I... if I..." Harry swallowed. "If I'm gone... well, then, he can't come back, can he?"

"Harry, no," Hermione said. "We won't let you. Not after..." Hermione stopped.

The three of them looked at each other, the moment stretching out. The kitchen seemed to widen and lengthen around them.

Hardly aware of what they were doing, the three of them joined hands. The gesture was familiar by now; the making of an unbreakable circle.

"She's right, Harry," Ron said, his head shaking back and forth. "You can't--"

"I can," Harry said. He gathered his courage, gripping their hands until he could feel the bones in their fingers. "And I will. I have the power to stop Voldemort."

"Yes, you do!" said Hermione. "But not like this!"

Harry released their hands and turned away. It was too difficult to look in their faces.

"You two'll always have each other," he said softly. There was silence behind him. "And I'll go knowing I've done the right thing."

More silence. The mosquito gave a plaintive whine.

Harry touched his forehead, letting the pad of his finger slide down his scar. Already he could feel the distance between them widening. Ron and Hermione were a unit onto themselves--a feeling he could never shake despite their reassurances. This would be his sacrifice to make. For them.

"Harry, we won't let you do this."

It was Ron. Slowly, Harry turned around, drawn to their promises and words of comfort, even as he made up his mind.

"No way," Ron said again. "We've come this far together, haven't we?"

"This is--"

"Your fight," Hermione said. "We know it is but oh, Harry! You can't leave us!" Her lip trembled. "You mustn't."

Ron gave him a look as if to say: "see what you did?"

"I--I..." Harry shrugged helplessly. "This isn't what I wanted."

The truth was, he'd found more than just peace with Ron and Hermione. At first he'd simply been relieved that they hadn't left him out, but he'd soon realized that it was right, as it should be. The three of them weren't meant to separate.

He glanced over at them as he thought those words, an invisible hand squeezing his heart. Even with the danger, he'd been so content with them, so happy to accept their love.

"No, Harry," Hermione said, but she sounded defeated. "There's another way. There's got to be."

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

Ron hit the table with his fist. He sat, breathing hard, his eyes accusing.

"Stop apologizing!" he said. He rubbed his fist. "It should be me."

"What?" Harry said. "What d'you mean by that?"

"I'm tired of it always being you!" Ron said, anger making his cheeks glow red. "It's about bloody time it was me for once!"

Hermione gave a loud sniff, causing both boys to freeze. A tear slipped down her cheek, sliding over the corner of her mouth and dropping over her chin. Ron and Harry both moved toward her, but her face shifted into a hardened frown.

"It won't be either of you," she said with sudden vehemence. "I'm sorry, Harry, but I simply don't believe it. You're not the last horcrux."

"What?" Harry said. "Yes, I am!"

"It's just like you, you know, thinking you can go off and 'play the hero' again--"

"Play the hero!" Harry said.

"Leaving Ron and I behind, thinking you're doing us a favour!" A wild look came into her eyes. "Well, you're wrong! You're not thinking rationally about this. If you die now, Voldemort wins!"

"I'm telling you, I'm the last horcrux!"

"And I'm telling you that I don't believe that."

Harry stared, dumbfounded.

Ron gave a smug little smile, as if challenging Harry to come up with a good comeback now.

"Listen to me, Harry." Hermione's voice was quiet but commanding. "Why would Voldemort try to kill you if you were a horcrux? He wouldn't risk one of them, not if he wanted to succeed."

"I... er..." Harry's mouth opened and closed. He hadn't thought that far into it. "He doesn't know?"

"Of course he knows what happened to his horcruxes," Hermione said briskly. "It would be nothing short of impossible if he didn't. You don't misplace a part of your soul."

"Oh," Harry said, slumping. "I s'pose not."

Hermione huffed. "Frankly, Harry, I'm amazed you couldn't discern that for yourself. Are you really that eager to be rid of us?"

"It's not that," he said, staring down at his feet. "I just... it made sense, didn't it? That's why I'm so connected to him... that's why I can speak parseltongue... because there really is a piece of Voldemort in me."

Hermione gave a snort. "That's ridiculous. Voldemort transferred his powers to you when he tried to kill you as a baby. It's not because you're a horcrux."

There didn't seem to be much else to say. Faced with Hermione's logic, Harry was left shuffling, his face aflame.

He didn't look up as Ron and Hermione left the kitchen, the door swinging shut behind them.

***

They'd taken over Sirius's old bedroom. It was one of the only rooms at Grimmauld Place with a bed big enough for the three of them.

They all took turns sleeping in the middle. Hermione said it was the only way to guard against anyone feeling left out.

Harry felt a smile tug at his mouth--it had been one of many rules Hermione decided upon after their relationship changed.

Alone now, Harry pressed his face to the pillow. He breathed in the scent that was Ron, Hermione and--uniquely--the three of them.

They can't stay mad at me for long, Harry decided. It had already been three hours. Three long hours.

There had been rows before, of course, but between Ron and Hermione--as usual. Harry had always been relegated to the role of peacemaker, a role he found he preferred.

But this--being the odd one out--it was something he wasn't used to. The niggling doubts started up again. They don't want me, need me, love me...

The sound of the door opening and closing pierced Harry's thoughts. He resisted the urge to look up and stayed completely still.

Two bodies lay down next to him--one on each side. Hermione's bushy hair brushed his cheek, her breath warm against his ear. Ron slid an arm around his backside, its grip strong and firm.

For a long time, neither of them said anything. This... it was comfort, being sandwiched between them.

"I'm sorry," Harry said, his voice muffled against the pillow. He looked up to find Ron and Hermione each staring at him, their expressions unreadable.

Hermione lazily let her hand slide up and down his arm, her face set in a frown.

"What is it?" Harry asked tiredly.

"Well..." her hand stilled on his arm. She thought for a moment. "Harry, do you know... if we lost you..."

"It'd be horrible," Ron said in a deep voice.

"I know," Harry said. They both looked skeptical and he sighed. "Really... I feel the same way. That's why I thought..."

"Yeah," Ron said with a nod. "We get that. It's who you are."

"We just... oh, Harry... we couldn't bear it if you made silly sacrifices on our behalf." Hermione's eyes filled and she pressed her cheek to his. "It's the three of us now... like--like it's always been."

"Okay," Harry whispered.

It was a lie, of course, it always did seem to come down to Harry in the end, but that's not what Ron and Hermione wanted to hear.

The mood in the room shifted imperceptibly. Hermione was running her hand up and down his arm again. Ron's foot was brushing against his leg.

"So... er... you forgive me?"

"Yeah, we do, you silly git," Ron said. "Not your fault you're a throw yourself to the dogs kind of chap."

"Ron!"

"What? It's why we're in love with him, isn't it?"

"Yes, well... that's not..."

Harry surprised himself by bursting into laughter, stopping Ron and Hermione mid-bicker. The bewildered expressions on their faces only made Harry laugh harder. Suddenly the whole thing seemed so... pointless.

The mood in the room shifted even further. Abruptly, Harry stopped his laugher.

Hermione's fingers began teasing at his buttons, while Ron started undoing his own trousers--eager, as always.

"Good show," Ron mumbled. "It's always best when we make up."

"Honestly, Ron, that's hardly what's important here."

Ron smirked. "I think it is rather important, actually."

"Oh, hush up, both of you. Can't you go five minutes without sniping at each other?"

"When we're worrying about you, yeah," Ron said. "Would you like to go back to that?"

"No," Harry said hurriedly. "Continue, then."

Hermione rolled her eyes, but she didn't stop what she was doing. Harry and Ron both knew she was only making a show of being annoyed.

After that, they didn't speak much, which was fine with Harry, especially when Hermione assured him it was his turn to be in the middle.