Summer of Secrets

Chapter Seventeen

"Bill!" Ginny exclaimed. Bill barely had enough time to stand up, before Ginny had run across the common room and flung herself into his arms.

"Ginny!" Bill picked her up and swung her around in the air. When he put her down, he kissed the top of her head and smiled.

"What're you doing here?" Ginny asked, bouncing on the balls of her feet.

"Well, I can leave if you'd like." Bill smiled slyly at her.

"Don't you dare! Merlin, I missed you!" Ginny gave Bill another hug.

Bill laughed. "I missed you, too, Munchkin." When he pulled back he looked her seriously in the eye. Ginny was taken aback, Bill never looked at her like that. He only did when they had a serious discussion.

"We need to talk, Ginny," Bill said solemnly.

Ginny nodded. She turned to Harry. "Room of Requirement?"

Harry silently agreed, and went up to his dorm to get the Marauder's Map to check that the room was available. When he came back down he nodded at Ginny. "It's empty."

Bill raised an eyebrow. "How do you know?"

"My dad, Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, and Peter Pettigrew were all friends at Hogwarts. They were called the Marauders. They made a map that shows everyone everywhere in the castle. Fred and George nicked it from Filch and gave it to me when I was a third year," Harry explained as they made their way to the Room of Requirement.

"Wait a minute? Your dad was one of the Marauders?" Bill looked amazed. "They were notorious for their pranks, even when I went here!"

"Really?" Harry raised an eyebrow. "I didn't know that. I just know they got in a lot of trouble. Remus was made a Prefect, though. He said he thought Dumbledore was trying to get Remus some authority in hopes it would rub off on the other three."

Bill nodded thoughtfully. "Certainly sounds like Dumbledore."

Seconds later, they were in front of the door for the Room of Requirement. When it opened, the trio looked around. The room was small and peaceful. A couch was against one wall, a matching chair facing it. There was a box of tissues on one of the side tables. Ginny smiled. This room would be perfect for the discussion she was fixing to have with Bill. She knew it wasn't going to be a good one.

Harry and Ginny settled down on the couch. Harry wrapped his arm around her. Ginny smiled and snuggled up to his side. Bill sat down across them and sighed.

"I don't even know where to start, Gin." Bill shook his head sadly. He thought for a moment before he continued. "I was shocked to say the least, when Mum and Dad told me what happened. I never thought you would do something so stupid. I thought you were smarter than this!"

Ginny's temper instantly flared up at Bill's words. "I'm not stupid! Maybe I made a mistake but that doesn't make me stupid!"

"You almost killed yourself!" Bill's eyes were hard, but clouded with worry.

"I didn't mean to, Bill. It was a mistake!" Ginny insisted. Then she added in a whisper, "Just like it was a mistake for you to come here."

Bill leaned forward in his chair and took Ginny's hand. "Coming here wasn't a mistake, I know that much. I'm sorry. You aren't stupid. You're right about that. You're very smart. But that's what confuses me. You're so smart, but you go and do this. How can you do this to yourself? Can't you see how much it hurts Mum, Dad, me, our brothers, Hermione, Harry? Even Ron is worried about you."

Ginny fought back tears as she replied, "That's why I do it, Bill. If I didn't, I wouldn't be alive right now. It helped me find the will to live."

"By hurting yourself? Cutting yourself? Is your life really that bad?" Bill ran his thumb over Ginny's hand.

Ginny pulled her hand back in anger. She stood up and went to the window that had appeared in the room. It magically looked out over the grounds to Hagrid's hut. "The nightmares came back. He said . . . horrible things. It was hard not to believe him." She turned back around. "But I know better now. I know what he said isn't true. He was just lying, like he always has and always does."

"He?" Bill asked, confused.

Harry was the one who answered. "Tom Riddle. Voldemort."

Bill nodded his understanding. "But if you know it isn't true . . . why do you keep doing it?"

Ginny sighed. She came back to the couch and sat down. "I felt . . . numb . . . nothing. And then, the stress was overpowering. Everyone expects me to be brilliant like you, Percy and Charlie, and a natural out on the Quidditch Pitch like Charlie, Fred and George, and Ron." She paused for a moment. "No one seems satisfied with plain old Ginny Weasley."

"You aren't plain, Ginny." Harry turned to her. He cupped her face in his hands. "You're anything but plain."

Harry gently kissed her, pulling back quickly to Ginny's disappointment. Bill smiled at the exchange. It warmed his heart to know Ginny found her happiness with someone, especially with that person being Harry.

"I agree with Harry, Munchkin. You aren't plain, you're not normal. You're anything but. How many eleven-year-olds could fight off Tom Riddle for half a year and almost succeed?" Bill smiled at her. "You're a brilliant, amazing, vibrant young woman. And don't let anyone else ever tell you different. You've definitely lived up to the name Ginevra Molly Weasley."

Ginny wrinkled her nose in distaste. "Don't call me that."

Harry chuckled and kissed her cheek. "Ginevra? But I like it."

Ginny scowled at him. "If you ever want to make love to me again, you won't call me that."

Harry's eyes widened, but he wisely didn't say anything else.

Bill decided it was best to ignore Ginny's threat to Harry. The less he knew the happier he was. "The point is, Ginny, you can't keep doing this. From what I've heard you've already been taken to the Hospital Wing twice. You're lucky it was Harry who found you both times."

Ginny sighed, nodding her head. "I know." She turned to look Harry deeply in the eyes. "I don't know what I'd do without you."

"And I don't want to have to be without you, Ginny. I love you, so much. I can't imagine life without you in it, and I'm afraid if you keep on I'm going to lose you. Then I don't know what I'd do." Harry's little speech brought tears to Ginny's eyes. Harry wiped away her tears and drew her into his chest. For several moments the three sat in silence, letting Ginny let go of her emotions.

Harry held her tight in his arms until she was done. When she was, Harry kissed her forehead and smiled weakly at her. "That's why I asked Bill to come here. I thought it would help you to talk to him. I know he's your favorite brother, and you need your family at a time like this."

"Thank you," Ginny whispered.

"I want to help you get better, Munchkin. If you need me, I want you to write to me. I don't care what anyone else says, I'll Floo right over. Dumbledore himself couldn't stop me." Bill took Ginny's hand and squeezed it reassuringly.

"But how would you get away? The goblins don't give you that much time off." Ginny questioned.

Bill grinned. "You let me worry about the goblins. After all, my favorite sister is much more important."

Ginny smiled. Bill always called her his favorite sister, despite the fact she was his only sister. "So if I really need you, you'll come?"

"I'm only a Floo away." Bill nodded.

Ginny jumped up and threw her arms around Bill's neck. "I'm so glad you're home! I hated you being in Egypt."

Bill hugged her back and smiled. "I know you did. I'm just glad to be here now, so I can help you."

Ginny sighed. She sat down, her legs crossed one over the other in front of Bill. "It's just so hard. I think I want to stop, but I'm not sure. All I know is I don't want to hurt anyone. I didn't think by hurting myself I would hurt anyone else. But . . . it's so hard. It's like . . . an addiction. Whenever something bad happens - I need it. I feel this ache inside me and it doesn't go away until I cut. The bad emotions don't go away until I do.

"And then sometimes the emotional pain is just too much. Cutting relieves the tension. The blood takes away the bad feelings. Like I said before, when I'm numb and feel like I'm dead inside the pain makes me feel alive. I didn't think I could talk to anyone about my nightmares; it was a comfort."

"That makes sense." Bill nodded. "It started as a cry for help. When Harry found out, the cry was answered, but you were afraid. As you did it more and more, though, you came to rely on it. Breaking the skin results in the release of endorphins in the brain. Endorphins act as natural painkillers and result in pleasant feelings. They reduce tension and emotional distress.

"But this isn't a healthy way of coping with your feelings, Ginny. You have so many people around you who love and care about you and we want to help. If you let us, we can help you." Bill's blue eyes pierced Ginny's brown ones.

"I know that now. And I'm trying to stop . . . I want to stop. I don't want to hurt anyone," Ginny admitted.

Bill shook his head in disagreement. "You can't do this for other people, Munchkin. You have to do it for yourself."

Ginny looked up at him. "I don't think I can."

Bill smiled sadly at her. "Well, you're going to have to try. That's the only way."

Ginny stood up. "I'll try. I can't guarantee that it will work. But I'll try."

~*~

Later that night, after Bill left, Ginny had asked Harry if they could go up to his dorm, seeking some privacy. Harry had agreed and led her up the spiral staircase. Once inside, they settled down on his bed. Harry leaned against the wall. Ginny sat with her back against Harry's chest, his arms wrapped tight around her.

They sat in silence for a while. Finally, Ginny turned in Harry's arms and looked at him. "Thank you for asking Bill to come see me."

Harry kissed her softly. "You're welcome. I thought it would do you some good to see your oldest brother."

Ginny settled back down in his arms and nodded. "It did."

"Good. I wanted to do something that would make you feel better after your session," Harry told her.

"You didn't have to," Ginny protested, not looking at him.

"I know I didn't have to. But I wanted to." Harry bent his head down and kissed her neck.

Ginny leaned her head to the side, giving Harry more access. Harry sucked and nipped at the sensitive skin, moving up to nibble at her ear. A shiver went down Ginny's spine, and she moaned. Harry moved his mouth down across her jaw, finally turning her head and capturing her lips in his. Ginny turned in his arms, opening her mouth to deepen the kiss. Harry groaned as her tongue stroked his. Ginny wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him down closer to her.

He laid Ginny down on the bed, continuing to kiss her. He stretched out beside her, trailing his lips across her jaw and down her neck, leaving a trail of fire in his midst. When he reached the top of the scoop neck shirt, Harry grabbed the bottom hem, looking up at her. Ginny nodded encouragingly. Harry pulled the shirt up and over her head. He let out a low groan at the sight of her lacy black bra. Harry kissed the exposed skin, licking the swell of each breast. Ginny lifted herself off the bed slightly, as Harry's hands made their way to the clasp of her bra. He flipped it open and pulled each strap down, throwing the bra to the side.

Harry caressed each breast, lavishing each one in turn with his mouth. Ginny arched up against him. Slowly, Harry made his way down Ginny's torso, stopping when he came to the snap of her jeans. He wasted no time at all in ridding Ginny of her jeans and black silk panties. Harry looked her up and down. Ginny lay before him, completely naked. Resuming his task, Harry lowered his mouth to her hip and nipped at the skin there. His hands caressed the inside of her thighs as his mouth made his way to his destination.

It wasn't long before Ginny was writhing beneath him. Harry didn't stop until she had come back down to earth. He moved back up the bed and nuzzled into her neck. "I love you so much."

"I love you too, Harry. That was . . . that was amazing. Thank you." Ginny smiled blissfully.

Harry smirked at her. "Don't mention it. I think I liked it as much as you did."

Ginny bit his neck before laughing. "I think you're right."

Harry kissed her deeply, loving how she was laid out underneath him, as naked as the day she was born - except for the emerald ring and the gold locket. Ginny ran her hands through his hair, pulling his body closer to hers. It wasn't long before Ginny had shed Harry of his sweater and his jeans. Only the thin barrier of his boxers kept them separated.

No longer shy around Harry, Ginny wrapped her hand around him. Harry groaned, arching against her hand.

"Ginny . . . please. . . ." Harry moaned.

Ginny nodded. Slowly, she lowered his boxers. In less than a minute they were joined together. Their bodies moved in a dance as old as time. They reached their climax together and once their heart rates slowed down to normal, Harry pulled the covers up around them.

"I love you so much, Ginny." Harry ran his finger across her cheek lovingly. "And I meant what I said today. I can't imagine life without you, and I never want to."

"I know, Harry," Ginny said softly. "I know. I feel the same way."

Harry pulled her close, breathing in her strawberry scented shampoo. He closed his eyes and fell asleep, happier than he had ever been in his whole life.