The Unknown Fear

The Unknown Fear

She placed her shaking hands on her bed-rail for support, breathed in, and let the air out slowly. The rail began to tremble. She grasped it harder, her knuckles turning deathly white, matching her face. Once it started to shake again, she let go and backed toward the wall. She pressed herself up against it, trying to evade the hands she could feel coming for her, the pale hands stained with blood. Hers wouldn't add much. Her legs collapsed from under her, leaving her huddled on the floor. She crawled to the corner and curled up in it, goose-bumps popping up all over her arms. She shivered, feeling the cold creeping its way to her, its icy fingers crawling along the floor. Her heart pounded in her ears, a war drum beating out its deadly work. Just as she was about to scream from the mounting terror inside of her, the door was flung open.

Severus Snape strode into her dorm, anxiety showing plainly on his cold face. She pulled herself up slowly from the floor and then flung herself into his arms. A large sob threatened to escape. She bit her lip. Blood trickled down her chin.

"You can cry if you want," Snape whispered in an oddly strangled voice. She nodded and the tears unleashed themselves. She began to really cry then, large, choking, fearful sobs. Snape patted her back gingerly.

When she had finished and was breathing normally again, Snape let go of her and stepped back. She gave him a weak, thankful smile.

He looked back at her sternly. "Are you finished?"

She nodded. "How did you know I was here?" she asked, as she did every time.

"I asked around," he replied evasively. The same answer.

"How did you get past the slide?" There, a new question.

He shrugged. "Spells. It's not that hard."

She nodded again, not voicing the question running through her mind. Why do you come every time? He must know that she didn't love him; that she never could; she had been quite clear on that point. Why then? How did he know whenever she sat shivering by her bed, scared of a fear that she could not name? Why did he come? Why did he care? She looked him in the eyes, searching for an answer, but found only black ice there.

"Are you wondering why I came?" he asked, without a trace of a smirk. She turned red, but nodded. "It's a complicated matter," he began, "but let's just say that you don't deserve what you're going through."

Just as the thought 'What exactly am I going through?' popped into her head, he answered it for her. It was creepy the way he knew what she was thinking.

"No, I don't know exactly what you're going though, but if I did, I'm not sure I would tell you. It won't help you any, believe me. I just know that I don't want you lost to the Dark Arts. I know what you're thinking," he said, smiling cynically. "Why would I care about you when I am so obviously drowned in it?" He shrugged. "I don't know that really, just, well, you don't deserve what I have."

She was shocked. "That's it?" she said hoarsely.

"Well," he said quietly, "you're not that bad of a person either."

She sank down on the bed, her head spinning. Not only was Severus confident and cocky, but he was intent on saving helpless young women from the Dark Arts. It was like McGonogall growing an extra head. There was no way she could take that in.

"You know," he continued, "you are quite a special young woman. You may not believe it, but you are actually quite powerful. There won't be any wavering loyalty for you either, I can see that now. Whatever you support, it will be with your heart and soul."

She halfway expected Snape to offer her a biscuit or something. "But, why don't you want me on the Dark Side then?" she asked, confused.

"Because the Dark Arts would suck the very life out of you."

She shivered. Slowly, he walked towards the door.

"Thank you for being here for me, Severus," she said, overwhelmed.

"I'll always be there for you Lily," he replied as he walked out. The redhead smiled.