Just Like Old Times

"Mom," Jimmy shook his mother slightly, "Mom?" his voice was lightly traced with concern.

Jennifer blinked her eyes open feeling slightly hung over. Her children were sitting on the coffee table in front of the couch where she lay. "What happened?"

"I think you fainted," Lily supplied.

"Fainted? I don't faint."

Lily slid into the little space next to her mother on the couch, "Well, I think you had something of a jolt that you couldn't handle."

Her daughter held up the edition of the Daily Prophet. "Anybody you know?'

Edging herself up carefully, Jennifer took the paper.

Sirius was innocent, and he was free.

"Oh my god," she intoned, "Sirius."

For several moments she looked at the photo, feeling her heart pounding in her chest. Then she actually started to read the article. Slowly, and after each paragraph, she rose further and further until she was sitting upright.

Sirius had not only been cleared of all charges, he was declared innocent. It had been Peter that betrayed the Potters, Peter! When Sirius broke out of Azkaban it was not to resurrect Voldemort, as everyone had thought, but to find Pettigrew.

The article went on to say Sirius had seen a photo of Pettigrew and had known where to find him, and that The-Boy-Who-Lived begged Black not to kill Peter, as his parents would not want their friend to become a murderer.

Jen stopped and took a long cleansing breath. She had thought he was guilty. Against all her instincts, she convinced herself he was. She betrayed him. She blinked back tears and looked at her children.

They were eyeing each other with a look Jen had grown to know, and to be very concerned about. She shifted straighter and swung her feet onto the floor. "What have you done?" When they both looked at her with a hint of fear and then looked at each other again, Jen demanded more firmly, "What?"

"We owled your friend Remus," Jimmy said in a small voice.

Burrowing her eyes into him and inclining her head slightly she shouted, "You what?"

"Well, we figured you want to see Sirius," Jimmy quickly explained. "But since he doesn't know about us, we thought you may want some help from somebody he does know." He looked at his twin, pleading silently for support.

"You told us that once you were all really close," Lily added, trying to prevent the eruption from her mother she knew was simmering, and continued, "You always said Remus was the thinker in your group."

She looked at them, astonished. "How...Wha..." she stammered, closing her eyes against her anger. "How would you even know where to find him?"

Jimmy grimaced and pointed at the paper, "Here."

Jen looked and saw at the end of the article there was an address for well-wishers to send regards.

'The Most Noble and Ancient House of Black

Number Twelve Grimmauld Place

London, England'

Jen dropped back onto the couch. This was happening too fast. Sirius had no idea he was a father. Nobody did. She's broken ties with Britain years ago to keep her family safe. Nobody in England had a clue where she was or how to find her. Yes, this was happening way too fast. But still, Sirius needed to know. Yes, she owed him that.

She looked at Jimmy, "I'm sorry, what did you just say?"

"Nothing really, we used the name you've been using, so no one who is near Mr. Lupin will know whom the owl was from unless he actually lets them read it. The letter just told him that you needed to see him, it was urgent and not to say anything to Sirius until after you'd spoken to him." Jimmy paused and looked at his mother affectionately, "I thought you might want to get his feelings about how to deal with it first. He's obviously spent a great deal of time with Sir-with our father. We asked him to owl you back as soon as he could."

"Oh my god." She leaned onto her lap and grabbed her hair with both hands. "What am I going to tell him?"

Pulling her mother's hands from her head, Lily smiled, "You always tell us that the truth is usually the best way to go."

"I have to get out of here. I have to think." Jen struggled away from her daughter and frantically looked for her keys. She had completely lost track that she was still wearing her bathrobe, but she was so flustered with the situation that was growing more profoundly out of her control.

"No," Jimmy said pushing his mother back to sit, "You need to relax. And as you are so fond of telling us, there's nothing you can do until the time comes. So just relax!"

"Mom," Lily said also trying to calm her mother, "I've already called the hospital, they won't be expecting you." She held a hand to silence her mother before continuing, "The last time you took a day off was when Grace over there," she jerked her head at her twin, "flew into the Quidditch stands landing seven people, besides himself, in St. Christopher's. And even then you couldn't qualify it as a day off because you were there!"

"This only gives you a long weekend," Jimmy smiled. "You need to calm down. Look at this," he held the paper up showing the picture of Sirius with several dozen people cheering around him, "My guess is Mr. Lupin will be too busy today to answer the owl."

Jen looked back and forth between her children, not sure if she really wanted to use the Avada Kedavra curse on them or not.

"I don't know what you two were thinking."

Lily sat up straight and looked her mother square in the eyes. "I was thinking I'd really like to meet my father."

**** **

The day had turned into a glorious afternoon.

The impromptu party they'd arranged for Sirius turned into more of an open house type event. It was nearing five o'clock and most well-wishers had come and gone. The majority of them had work and it was such short notice, many of them couldn't make proper arrangements to stay for long.

Harry, the Weasley's, Hermione Granger, Remus, and Tonks were the only ones committed to seeing the day through. Several others stayed for a few hours. Some just long enough to offer congratulations.

A few times Remus had caught a hint of a conversation between Harry, Ron and Hermione about the mysterious Jennifer, but would quickly change the topic when they'd notice their former Professor watching them appraisingly. He almost had a mind to tell them to knock it off, and mind their own business. Instead, he resigned himself to thinking that if he couldn't find her after all these years, they stood no better chance.

Remus was standing in the backyard listening to Tonks and Hermione complain about the men in their lives, feeling very uncomfortable when Tonks made the comment that the man she was eyeing, was so shy she was afraid he'd never so much as hold her hand. For a moment he thought of retreating, but was stopped when a small gray owl began tugging at his robes. Taking the parchment that had been rolled and tied to its leg, he held up a bit of the sandwich he'd been slowly eating. The owl took a little nip, and then flew over the house and away.

"Who's that from?" Tonks queried.

Remus just shook his head. It wasn't odd that the owl came here, he'd been living at Grimmauld place on and off for years.

It was odd that he received an owl at all.

Anyone who would owl him was already here, except perhaps a message from the Ministry. But then most of those who'd contact him had already come and gone.

"I've no idea." He broke the seal and read the note. He stopped and blinked his eyes, then shook his head. He wasn't reading this right. He closed his eyes, and carefully cleared his head. His mind must surely be playing him tricks. He then read it again. And again. When he read the message for the forth time, he knew it was not his mind playing him tricks. Instinctively he jerked his head up then about, looking for Sirius.

Sirius was sitting with a cluster of Weasley's, having a wonderful laugh.

Remus found he was short of breath. "Merlin's ear."

"Merlin's-" Hermione started to repeat her old Professor, but stopped when she saw the look on his face. She timidly reached for the parchment; but Remus pulled it firmly back, still looking at his old friend. "Who's it from Professor? What's the matter?"

Still looking at Sirius he shook his head. "Nothing."

"Remus," Tonks lightly touched his arm. "Is everything okay?"

"I don't know." He shook his head and finally took his eyes from Sirius to look at Tonks. "I'm sorry, but I have to go." He then turned and started for the kitchen door.

Tonks and Hermione were right behind him. "Go where?" Tonks demanded, grabbing his arm to stop him and then released it realizing how abruptly she grabbed him. "I mean, you can't just leave!"

He stopped and turned on the two young women, "Listen to me. Something has come up. I don't know if its good or bad, but I've got to find out."

He glanced again at Sirius, then back to the ladies. "Do you think you could cover for me? I really don't want anyone to know anything about this until I've had a chance to work through it first."

"You don't think you'll be missed?" Hermione asked, furrowing her brow.

He chanced another look at Sirius, who was arm-wrestling Bill Weasley on a patio table.

"I shouldn't be too long." He looked at the two who were both stricken with concern. "It's nothing dangerous. It's just something I have to check into. And no, it can't wait."

Before either Tonks or Hermione could respond, he was gone.

"Have you any idea what just happened?" Tonks looked at the empty space where Remus once stood.

"Who is Roxanne Black?" Hermione said, walking through the kitchen and heading for the stairway to get to the remains of the 'Black Family Tree' tapestry.

Tonks, close behind her, shook her head, "Never heard of her. Do you know something?"

"I saw who sent the owl before he pulled it back. The addresser was Roxanne Black." She entered the den and started skimming the tree, "But I've never heard Sirius, or anyone else for that matter, mention a Roxanne Black."

The two carefully looked over the entire family tree. When they couldn't find the name, looked at each other. Hermione raised an eyebrow, "Should we ask Sirius?"

"Remus said to wait until he got back," Tonks shook her head. "I think we should give him at least a little time until we alert the media," she said sarcastically.

"I don't like it," Hermione shook her head. "Remus may have been secretive in the past, but I don't think he'd ever keep anything from Sirius. The two are like brothers, aren't they?"

When Tonks slowly nodded her head, Hermione continued, "I don't think the fact that her last name was Black is a coincidence."

"No, I don't imagine so." Tonks was still shaking her head. "But let's have a little trust in Remus. Give him a few hours. Until then, we'll just play dumb."

**** **

Jennifer was leaning back on the couch with a glass of cinnamon whiskey in a hand. She'd poured it over an hour ago, but had yet to muster the will to drink it. She stared at the crack in the ceiling rehashing the row she and her daughter had earlier. That girl always knew exactly what to say to put her mother off. Jen was grateful that although Jimmy had inherited Sirius's charm, he did not inherit his temper.

Lily got all of that.

From the beginning Jennifer decided it was best to be honest with her children about their father. She felt it prudent, as they both looked so much like the notorious Sirius Black. Especially Jimmy.

Occasionally he would give a look or make a comment that reminded Jen of her older brother Thomas, but other than that, he was a carbon copy of his father.

Although Lily was female, there was still no doubt who sired her. They both had that luxurious dark hair, and eyes that could mesmerize Satan from his throne. Lily came just a few inches shy of six feet, where Jimmy stood well over the six-foot mark. They were both long and lean with a gaggle of would-be-suitors.

Guilt was beginning to creep over her. Had Jimmy not interfered, she would surely have said or done something to her daughter that she would have regretted.

But damnit! Lily didn't know! She wasn't there!

Jen had always loved Sirius, and she hadn't deliberately kept them from him, as Lily had accused!

It was true, yes, if she had kept in contact with those in England, if she hadn't written them out of her life, she would have known.

When Sirius escaped from Azkaban Remus would have told her what was happening at that time.

But she couldn't do it. It was too painful. She was hopelessly in love with Sirius. And they all believed him guilty. If she had stayed...if she had stayed and not gone on that first trip to Brazil, she would have been there when Voldemort attacked the Potters. She would have talked to Sirius before he went after Peter.

But she didn't know any of that until today.

If she hadn't run out on Remus; if she'd stayed and let him tell her everything. The guilt was definitely building.

As she began to lift her glass, the doorknocker banged three times.

She placed the still full glass on the table and rose. If Lily forgot the incantation to the locking charm again Jen was going to kill her. Jimmy had forced Lily out with him so Jen could think, and if she was back here to have another go round...

When she opened the door she saw a fortyish man with salt and pepper hair falling into his eyes, which held a decidedly angry look, holding a parchment up in one hand.

She shook her head realizing this man had Remus' face.

"What the Bloody hell is this?" he said in a very controlled voice, "You changed your name to Roxanne Black?"

"Oh my god, Remus!" Jennifer threw her arms around him before he could protest, "How did you find me?"

He pushed her back, still angry, holding her at arms length "I didn't find you. I found Roxanne Black. Which, once I knew who to look for, wasn't too difficult. What is going on?"

Jennifer took a deep breath and opened the door wider, inviting him in. "It's complicated."

He followed her into the flat.

"Complicated? Jennifer-I'm sorry Roxanne, you disappear eighteen years ago without even saying good bye, then four days after Sirius is cleared you owl me saying not to say anything to Sirius. Do you have any idea what he's been through? What he's going through? What it's been like for me?"

She stopped and looked at him, "How is he?"

Remus dropped his jaw, flabbergasted, "He's a mess, Jenny. He's been running and hiding for the last six years. Before that he was locked up in that hell for something he didn't do. The only comfort he's had has been Harry, because you decided he wasn't important enough!"

"That's not fair. He's always been important to me," she said, trying to remain calm. "I told you, it's complicated."

"How?"

She turned into the kitchen to prepare tea. "If you'll calm down I'll explain. I'm sure you'll understand, if not agree, why I've been in this self imposed exile."

Remus took several deep breaths, watching as she made two cups of tea.

"Alright, I'll listen. But eighteen years is due for a grand explanation."

She gave him a wry smile as she handed him his cup, "I think what I have to tell you will do. Please," she gestured to the table where Remus sat across from her. "Now do you want the whole story, or the abridged version?"

"Let's start with the abridged. If I want you to go back I'll ask."

"Fair enough," She took a long cleansing breath, trying to think where to start. The beginning would be best, "Okay. Remember when I came back from Brazil?"

Remus nodded, "About six weeks after Sirius was thrown into Azkaban."

"That's right. And we had quite a row when you told me about Sirius."

Remus nodded again.

"I was pretty unreasonable, almost insane. You see, it wasn't just that Sirius was in Azkaban, and James, Lily and Peter were dead; it was also because I was pregnant."

She stopped to give him a moment to process what she'd said.

His hands had been folded in front of his mouth, but they were slowly dropping toward the table. He looked closely at her, as if waiting for the punch line. Realizing there was to be no punch line, his mouth fell open again.

"Pregnant?"

It was her turn to nod. "And he was gone." She felt a slight burning behind her eyes as she remembered thinking she'd never see her Sirius again. "I was terrified, Remus."

"Why didn't you tell me?" his anger forgotten, he took her hand.

Jennifer shook her head. "I was scared, I was angry. I didn't know what to do. So I came back to the States, where I stayed with my brother. Then there was all that fuss about rounding up all the Death Eaters. I was carrying his child, Remus. I was living in Salem, of all places. The people of Salem were not very kind to witches in the past. And they haven't been very forgiving of the Death Eaters. Can you imagine what they would have done if anyone ever knew who the father was? It didn't matter who found out- Good guys or bad. They'd all want Sirius Black's child destroyed.

"After some serious thought and planning, my brother Tom helped me arrange to finish my training with the healers in Brazil. I already knew them, and they could always use help down there. It all seemed fine until the babies were born."

"Babies?"

"Yes, two of them." She smiled "Anyway, they aren't as liberal in some of those smaller villages down there. If your child has a different last name than you, you are pretty much just asking to be stoned. So, Illyanna, One of the healers, suggested I put an alias for my name."

"Roxanne Black."

"Yes. If I had really thought about it, I would have used a completely anonymous name." She shook her head thinking how much she had missed Sirius. "But a part of me still wanted to hold on to him. And I wanted the twins to have their father's name."

"But that doesn't explain why you kept it after you moved back to the states."

"Sirius had just escaped." Jen explained. "The twins were just starting the Salem Academy, and Tom was afraid he'd come after me, and then the kids."

"He was after Peter."

"We didn't know that. So my brother helped me write a spell. A variation on the secret keeper. If someone wanted to find Roxanne they could. But if they were looking for Jennifer, He and his mate were bound to silence."

"Which is why they could never tell me where you were?"

Jen nodded.

"What about the Ministry? And all the Healers? I questioned a lot of them as well."

"Well, that's a bit more complicated. Let's just say no one remembered me. I'd been in England for almost five years, and then went to Brazil for another eleven. By the time I settled in New York, most anyone who knew me had moved on. We did have to use a few spells-"

She was cut off as the front door swung open. She stood to warn her children, but they had already seen the man at the table.

"Holy cow!" Jimmy crossed the room. "You must be Remus Lupin! I told you to owl! I didn't think you'd actually show up!" He was smiling, shaking hands vigorously.

"Are you alone? Did you bring Sirius with you?" Lily stood beside her brother.

Remus only stared at the two, dumbfounded.

He was looking at the Sirius from twenty years ago, and what Sirius would surely have looked like had he been a girl. His eyes flicked back and forth between the two, over and over.

"If you're going to help us," Jimmy grinned, "You're going to have to breathe."

"I-I'm sorry. It's just..." he stammered.

"Yes we know how much we look like our father." Lily said impatiently pulling an old school photo of Jen and Sirius from the wall and showing it to Remus. "Is he here?"

"No, Lily." Jen answered, pushing her into a chair. "But don't worry. I'm sure you'll see him soon enough."

Composing himself, Remus looked at Jennifer. "This is uncanny!"

She smiled, seeing the shock of how much her children resembled Sirius on her old friends face. "I know. I see it everyday."

"How much do they know?" He asked.

"Everything." Lily supplied.

"Everything?" He looked at Jen.

She nodded "Yes, look at them. How could I not tell them? It would only take one person to recognize them. They've been fortunate though; the only picture of Sirius floating around the public lately had been that awful one of him in Azkaban where he only slightly resembled Jimmy."

"Which I heard to no end at school," He smiled sitting next to Remus.

Remus looked between the three for a few minutes then said, "When are you planning on telling him?"

"Well, that's why you're here," Jen patted his hand and looked at her son gratefully for understanding the situation so completely before she did, "I haven't seen him in so long and, as you pointed out, I have no idea what's he's been through. We thought you would have some advice on how best to handle it."

"I definitely think sooner rather than later. And when I say sooner I mean really sooner. The more time that goes by before he knows the angrier he'll be when he finds out."

***** **

Tonks and Hermione were beginning to feel uncomfortable.

It had been close to five hours since Remus' departure, and people were starting to ask questions. At first it was easy just to say 'Oh, he said he had to run an errand.' But after five hours, they were slightly less convincing.

Molly Weasley had prepared a wonderful feast for six of the nine Weasley's (Percy, Fred and George had left earlier to tend to their businesses), Sirius, Harry, Hermione, Tonks, and Remus. But as they all sat for the meal, Remus was still absent. Only slightly concerned, because nothing was going to get Sirius down today, they had a wonderful time talking and laughing throughout the meal.

"So Arthur," Sirius grinned at Ron and Hermione flirting with each other across the table, then looked sternly at Ron's father, "What exactly are your son's intentions for the wonderful Ms. Granger?"

Ron's head shot up and his face furiously blushed. "Wha..."

"I mean really," Sirius went on. "By the time I was nineteen I knew better than to string such a pretty girl along."

Bill and Charlie both choked over their food.

"Hey now," Sirius looked offended at the eldest Weasley's, "I was a gentleman!" provoking them to laugh louder.

"I just had ale come up through my nose," Charlie laughed, "But it was so worth it!"

"Sirius!" Harry said in a soft, accusing voice.

Hermione's face had disappeared into her hands and Ron was stammering trying to think of something clever to say.

"Now Sirius," Molly smiled. "All my boys know how to properly treat a lady."

"Especially one as delightful as Hermione," Arthur added.

"A girl could do worse," Tonks giggled, "Then to be strung along by a Weasley. How awful would it have been to be taunted by a certain Boy-Who-Lived's Godfather?"

Sirius glanced around the table looking at each person, agast that any of them would think him so wicked, "I can't believe you all think I was such a cad!" he scoffed. "I was always a complete gentleman!"

The meal continued with jovial bantering and lighthearted teasing. It wasn't until the meal was winding down, close to ten o'clock that Sirius started to become really concerned about Remus.

He looked at Tonks.

"Are you sure he didn't say anything about where he was going?"

Tonks shook her head, "Nope. Just that he'd be back as soon as he could." She met eyes with Hermione, who was beginning to look quite scared. She shot a look at her, telling her to stay calm.

"I saw that!" Harry pointed at Hermione. "What was that about?"

"What was what about?" she asked as innocently as she could, knowing she'd never been able to lie to Harry.

"You know something, don't you?" Ron accused his girlfriend. "You've never held out on us before! Spill!"

Sirius sat up in his chair, "If you know anything about what Remus is doing, I would advise you to tell me."

"That won't be necessary," Remus stood in the doorway, looking somber. "I'm surprised they held out this long. Sirius? We need to talk."

Looking at Remus curiously, he stood. "About what?"

"Not here. Arthur, Molly," he looked at the Weasley parents. "Would you please make sure we have some privacy upstairs until one of us has come back down?"

"Of course." Arthur nodded his head, with the same curious look as Sirius.

"I mean that, Arthur. No matter what you hear, do not let anyone upstairs."

"I understand, Remus. Is everything okay?"

"It will be." He tried to smile as Sirius rounded the table to stand beside him looking uncomfortably concerned.

"What's all this now?"

Remus placed a hand on his shoulder and steered him into the hall, "Just follow me."

***** ****

Jennifer sat on a wooden chair in the room Remus has escorted her too.

The four had used a Portkey to arrive in front of Number Twelve.

Jimmy and Lily could both apparate, but as they'd never been to London, Remus and Jen felt it safest to use a Portkey.

Of course, it had taken some time to get official authorization to Portkey into another country. Red tape was the same everywhere. When they arrived at Grimmauld Place, everyone was in the dining hall eating, which allowed them to sneak upstairs unnoticed. Remus thought it best for Sirius to meet them privately.

In fact he wanted just Jennifer, then the twins. The twins were across the hall in another room, probably resting.

Her elbows were leaning on her knees with her hands folded tightly together. She had her head down and was taking slow-deep breaths. Her heart was beating so fast she was sure it would erupt from her chest. He was downstairs. Remus went to fetch him. They were in the same house. In a few moments she would see him. How would he ever be able to forgive her?

She was going to see the one man she had dreamed of everyday for the last eighteen years. She heard the footsteps approaching the door and she lifted her head, she was going to see him now.

Jen could hear Remus saying something, but wasn't able to make it out. She strained to hear when finally she heard his voice for the first time in eighteen years.

"Remus, open the door."