Snakes and Lions

Nightmares And Dreams

Draco settled in a sleeping bag between Harry's bed and the window, and immediately closed his eyes. He showed no other sign of being asleep. Harry watched him as Neville got ready to go back to bed. Seamus, Dean, and Ron were already in theirs. Harry hoped that Draco was comfortable enough. He had a sudden impulse to call down that his bed was more comfortable than the floor, and he grinned, imagining what Seamus would think.

On the other hand, he wondered, what had Draco intended? If it was a sexual invitation, it was badly timed, he decided. At that point, he barely would have noticed if Draco had come down and kissed him.

"Shall I douse the light?" Neville asked. Harry took one final look, and saw Draco's eyes squeeze tight.

"Go ahead," Seamus called out. Neville extinguished the lamp, and the room went from dim to dark. Harry settled down and, for the first time in ten days, fell immediately asleep.

He was woken by Draco screaming. Harry tumbled out of bed, barely managing not to land on his friend. Draco was calling either at or for his father. Harry could not distinguish most of the words, which were indistinct, but he thought he recognized "Marcella," said angrily. He laid a hand on Draco's shoulder, and Draco thrashed violently. Harry got an arm up in time to protect his face. The impact woke Draco, and he moved in the dark. Harry felt the point of something pressing into his chest less than a second later. Draco was panting audibly.

"It was a nightmare," Harry soothed. "Calm down, now. It's just me. Just Harry." Draco moved again, and the pressure lightened.

"Lumos," Draco whispered. The air between them filled with wand light. After the pressing darkness, it seemed much brighter than usual. Harry could see, now, that Draco's weapon was his wand. Slowly, Draco let his wand hand sink until it rested against the floor. His breathing steadied. "Sorry," he said.

"'Salright. You were dreaming." Harry tugged slightly at Draco's shoulder. "Come on. My bed is more comfortable than the floor."

Draco hesitated a moment, then nodded. He climbed into Harry's bed and settled on his side, his knees tucked up as far as his waist. His wand was still out and alight. Harry climbed in and drew the curtains, totally enclosing the bed. He reached out to get his wand from the bedside table, then drew it once along the curtains and once across the canopy, whispering "Tace" for each.

Draco had twisted to look back at him.

"What?" he mouthed.

"A silencing spell," said Harry. "It makes the things touched impervious to sound. Neville taught it to me. We both use it when we're having bad dreams. If you really shriek, a little sound will get out through the gaps, but not enough to wake someone."

"Oh." Finally, Draco put his wand light out. The enclosed bed was totally black. Harry lay down facing Draco's back. Draco was taking shallow, quiet breaths. They lay still for several minutes, at the end of which Harry was no closer to sleeping and judged that Draco wasn't either.

"Lumos," he said quietly.

Draco twitched at the flood of light. "What?"

"Could I ... May I ask you something irrelevant? Or would you rather I waited a day or two?"

"You can ask me anything that isn't about my dreams, my family, or You-Know-Who and his supporters."

"That's about what I meant by 'irrelevant'," Harry agreed. He shifted up to lean his upper back against the headboard, so he was high enough to see the side of Draco's face.

"While you were gone ... Seamus said everyone thinks you're my boyfriend, or something." Harry wasn't sure how best to continue. He was fairly certain this did not upset him, beyond the usual irritation at other people's fascination with his personal life, but unsure he had any interest. He knew that he wanted to know what Draco felt. He saw Draco's jaw tighten.

"It's not my fault," Draco said defensively, still speaking to the windows. "I deny it when anyone asks, and if I did more than that it would only have people more convinced. It's nowhere near 'everyone,' anyway."

"That's all right, but ... Thinking back on it, there were times when.... Are you interested in me? Like that?"

"You didn't notice?!" Draco actually rolled onto his back. "I mean, honestly, Potter, was inviting you into my bed too subtle?" He looked up at Harry and sighed. "Look, don't worry about it, please? I gave up at the end of January. I'm perfectly content to be friends. Really."

"Er...." Harry looked down at Draco, who looked back at him rather desperately. Harry suddenly realized that Draco was afraid. If Harry rejected him, he would be cut off from everybody on which he had any social claim.

"Harry? Please?"

"I don't mind," Harry said reassuringly. "I was just .... Are you over it?" He was afraid he sounded as if he required that, and added: "I mean, if I decided I wanted to get you to reconsider, could I?"

"What?" Draco angled his head back to stare at Harry. Harry pushed away from the headboard and slid down to his side, so he was not quite so far above Draco. Draco flinched at the motion. "Do you want me to?" he asked.

Harry shrugged. "I don't know. Really, I've no idea. It didn't cross my mind before tonight."

Draco bit his lip. He looked down, hiding his eyes from Harry. "So what do you want?" he asked.

"Draco!" Harry stared in surprise at Draco's resigned tone. "Well, I was going to ask for a kiss, just to see what it was like, but not if you don't want to."

Draco stared at him for a moment, then, his movement uncharacteristically jerky, raised a hand to the side of Harry's face. He slid his fingers into Harry's hair, and pulled him closer.

Draco's lips were soft, and he kept them slightly open. At first, he tasted faintly of fear and sleep, but both faded quickly under Harry's mouth. After the first, hesitant contact, he kissed with a leisurely indulgence, exploring Harry's mouth first with his lips, then with both lips and tongue. Now and then his hand slid through Harry's hair, or up the nape of his neck. Harry was too absorbed in what he could do with his mouth to attempt any other touch.

Several times, they started to pull apart, then one or the other would stretch to resume the kiss. When they finally did stop, Harry's heart was hammering as if he had just won a Quidditch game. He stared down at Draco for a bit. Draco's half-closed eyes and dreamy smile looked utterly lovely, and completely different from any expression Harry had ever seen on him before. Harry settled down next to him.

"Draco?"

"Mmm?"

"I liked that."

Draco's eyes opened. "And?" he asked wryly.

"Well it wasn't like kissing Cho, or Melinda. Of course, they weren't anything like each other either."

"Who is Melinda?"

"A Ravenclaw girl." Harry laughed slightly. "Another one. I went with her to the Halloween Dance. It ... by the end of the evening, I knew I wasn't really interested, and decided not to keep her hanging on as long as Cho had kept me...."

"So what about me?"

"I don't know."

Draco sighed. "Look," he said. "No is okay. Yes is okay. I can't take much of 'I don't know.' I managed not to fall in love with you once. I'm not sure I can do it again, if I start hoping."

"Sorry. I'll try to work out what I can on my own, but --"

"If you are going to ask if you can fuck me, no!"

Harry blinked. "Er...."

Draco let out a ragged breath. "Not only am I not in the mood, but the last time I had sex with a friend, I ruined a perfectly good friendship. I'm not doing anything of the sort with you until I'm certain it won't be a disaster."

"That's fine." Harry looked away. "I hadn't ... thought that far. I ... If you ... I suspect getting me to that would be a project." Cautiously, Harry settled an arm over Draco. "I'm not very used to physical contact," he confessed.

"You're faking it pretty well."

"I don't want to let go of you," Harry said. "I was so afraid you wouldn't come back."

"That's another thing," said Draco firmly. "I am traumatized, right now, and you are obviously not all here, either. Nothing about what we feel now is reliable. I'm in worse shape than you, but ...."

Harry nodded acknowledgment. He felt slightly guilty about even bringing it up, under the circumstances.

"So, what do you want?" Draco asked. "Right now."

Harry tightened his arm around Draco. "I want you here," he said, "where I can feel you are here if I wake in a panic. I want you to promise you will return in September as someone I can still associate with in private. That's it, for now."

Draco nodded grimly. "I don't think that's a problem," he said. "Presuming I manage to live through the summer. Now stop the light, would you? We need to sleep."

"Yeah," Harry agreed. "Nox," he said, and tucked his wand under his pillow.

"So," he said into the darkness, "shall we talk again tomorrow?"

Draco rolled back onto his side and cuddled back against Harry. "If you still want to discuss it after we've recovered a bit, I'm amenable."

"Oh, good." Harry nuzzled the side of Draco's head. Whatever Draco used to keep his hair in place was gross, he decided, but the edge of Draco's ear was delightfully soft. He found himself considering another kiss, but decided against it. "Sweet Dragon."

"Mmm," Draco murmured.