Not My Eden

A single quill scratched madly against the rough parchment, and the inert stillness screamed back in response. Something was not right, but something was never right. Quite frankly though, she wouldn’t be surprised to know what she was doing actually so -wrong- as in her mind it seemed so -right-. It had felt this way for years now but she continued on her scribbling ignoring it as most people ignored bad habits.

No one had the bad habits -she- had. No one would ever think to even do such things. Things that made the skin crawl on her own back, but stirred a deep calm that overpowered the stress it caused as well.

Ginny had been plagued with the disease of insanity. It was the simplest answer she had , and maybe the only one she could even begin to believe. Oh it came and went, and it wasn’t so bad sometimes. Perhaps she was a bit on the over-stressed side of things? Of course! With a seventh year filled with the talk of War, and advanced classes and boys! Boys....who didn’t exactly, hang out with her. Well, neither did the girls actually... in fact, now as she thought about it, it seemed, even the professors seemed weary to talk to her much between classes.

The scribbling ceased for a brief moment, and a rustle of sheets took the place of the sounds. Ginny had been sitting quite rigid for such a long time, the small of her back ached and throbbed from a move to lay back on fluffed up pillows. No... no that wasn’t right was it? Was it, Ginny? No... her back didn’t hurt. She hadn’t been sitting up. Her hand didn’t feel cramped. She had not been writing.

“Tom...”

She let the name slip off her tongue like a sweet drop of rain from the sky above. God, it felt good to say it! She didn’t bother to read what he wrote on the parchment in her lap. She didn’t need to communicate that way anymore. Ebon lashes drifted shut over jaded oculars, and she had fallen into her thoughts once more.

Her eyes had always been a distinct shade of green, a -jade- her mother said. Jade was a precious stone, like her precious Ginny.

Jade wasn’t as precious as emerald. The emerald green that resided in -his- eyes. Ones that flickered with a sort of spark of curiosity and wit, that kept him alive and out of trouble. Above such eyes lay a scar that confirmed how precious he really was, Harry Potter. Of course she -adored- those eyes, and that scar, and that boy for oh so long.

Tom didn’t.

Tom would narrow her jaded oculars in response to the mention of that name. Tom would remind her that emerald was a better stone then any stupid -jade-. Oh how could she be so stupid to think she was really that distinct? She was another freckled face in a mass of red brothers. She was nothing to -them-, those...poor unworthy -traitors- . Mudblood loving...

“Tom!”

She surprised her self, at taking a tone of voice with him, with well, herself. One that was laced with a weary warning, as if she was his mother. She knew before she did how wrong it was to do so. Still, she found her self sitting upright once more and eyes jutting open suddenly. Fingers traced the parchment in her lap, and grasped the edges to hold it up to reading level.

/Oh Ginny! You know what I’m talking about...too well. I’ve already proved you -need- me. My dear...you are not a jade in my sights. You are...a Sparkling Diamond! That is always the case, you are much more than an emerald... through me...you are....worth....everything.../

For some reason Ginny found the corners of her mouth tug upward into a smile, or a smirk. Smugly either way she flashed a confident emotion through her freckled face. Her quill was grabbed , and the scribbling continued upon the single parchment . Rough, and splattered with specks of dried blood from a far off battle. A battle that continued to rage in her fragile mind. While she scribbled a response...

/Oh Tom... you know me so well... Tom...you...make.....me/

Inside a scream echoed in the cell behind her sense. She caged , she was “well protected” as the Demon told her plenty of times.

She was a prisoner of a personal war in her own mind.