Dealing With the Consequences

Confessions

Ginny woke up the following morning feeling warm, pleasant and relaxed. And with a headache that made her head feel like it was going to explode. As she opened her eyes she was startled because she couldn't remember where she was. Then she turned her head to the right and when she saw a couple of dark eyes fixed on her she remembered and blushed slightly. She heard his deep chuckle and her face turned a darker shade of red.

"Why are you blushing, Gin? I don't recall you being particularly prudish last night," he said in a teasing tone, a big grin brightening up his face.

"Oh, shut your mouth, Sirius. That Firewhisky didn't do me any good I tell you. My head's throbbing like hell and I wake up lying in bed next to you. This must be the worst morning ever," said Ginny dejectedly, but her eyes sparkled with laughter.

"You don't regret it, do you?" he said, trying to hide his apprehension.

"No, I don't. I told you last night, and I'll tell you again if you wish, but I thought I made it perfectly clear that I've never been so sure about anything in my life before. And you weren't that bad," Ginny said, starting to giggle as she saw the expression on his face.

"Oi, Gin, be careful. I could be tempted to prove my skills," he said, smiling widely, one of his hands starting to stroke the curve of her back.

"I don't mind," she whispered, leaning in to kiss him softly on his neck.

"You asked for it."

They didn't leave the room until late that afternoon. Ginny was searching through the cabinets in the kitchen trying to find something edible. Her arms full of Pumpkin Pasties, Chocolate Frogs and some apples and pears she entered the living room where Sirius was sitting in a comfortable armchair in front of the crackling fire, waiting for her. She put down the food on a nearby table and sat down at Sirius' feet. Ginny leaned her head against his knee, and his hand automatically started caressing her hair.

"I've never considered this old house my home. It's always made me feel unpleasant somehow, but now... Although it is still Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place, something's changed. It's not as cold and uninviting as it used to be anymore. Instead it's warm and friendly. Well, maybe the whole house isn't, but at least the kitchen has improved and so has this room. And of course my bedroom," chuckled Sirius.

"Very funny. Although I have to admit that you're right. It's not that bad any longer, spending time in this old ruin, but I hated it at first," she stated while changing her position to a more comfortable one.

"The first summer I spent here was horrible. All I did was clean out wardrobes and throw away your old inherited belongings, and on top of everything I wasn't allowed to take part in the Order's meetings. I understand now why you didn't let under-aged wizards and witches attend to the meetings, but I was only a child so you can understand how frustrating it was not to know what was going on. Well, actually, you should understand it better than most people. It makes you feel so useless if you can't help with anything meaningful, and that made me hate this house. I felt like it was my prison, not as much as it must have been yours, but still, I felt locked up. And then when you fell through that veil..." she stopped for a second and rubbed her eyes, feeling them prickle with tears, "I hated this house more than ever. No one wanted to come here 'cause everything reminded us of you. Still we had to keep on going, and it hurt so much to look into Harry's eyes when we came here, for they were full of pain and sorrow. And when you got back, after the Final War, after Voldemort's defeat..."

Ginny couldn't stop the stream of tears from falling down her cheeks and she started crying silently while Sirius lifted her up and put her on his lap. She still had nightmares about that night. So many had lost their lives, and she could still see them in her dreams, their eyes full of fear and grief. Sirius was rocking her and holding her tightly in his arms, not saying anything. He wished he could take her pain and make it go away, make every bad thing that had happened to her undone, but he couldn't. He hadn't been there, hadn't done anything to help them against the Dark Lord, and now the guilt washed over him.

He didn't know how or why he had been able to step out from behind the veil and he couldn't remember anything about the time that he had spent there. But one day he had pushed the heavy curtain aside and stepped out into the room in the Department of Mysteries, where he once had fought Bellatrix Lestrange and the other Death Eaters. Five years of his life had passed by without him aging a day, so to him it felt like he had just fallen into the veil.

The following days after his return were kind of blurry and he didn't remember much of them. He had a vague memory of someone visiting him every now and then, probably Harry, and he had also felt the presence of someone else in the room, someone who had watched over him day and night. Then he had started to recover faster, and his adjustment to this new world, a world without the threat of Voldemort's return hanging over them, had begun.

It had been hard to start all over, for he didn't know what had happened the last five years, but with patience he soon found out all the important things. Hermione and Ron had gotten married just before the Final War broke out, but when Bellatrix had hit Hermione with a shouted 'Crucio' in the stomach, Hermione had fell so hard onto the ground that she'd lost her unborn baby. Harry, who had watched his best friends suffer unspeakable pain caused by the loss of their child, killed Bellatrix two weeks later. Charlie Weasley, Tonks, Moody, Kingsley, McGonagall, Moony, and Dumbledore had died while defending the walls of Hogwarts where the battle had took place. Harry had defeated Voldemort with Dumbledore's help, who in the end had to sacrifice himself so that Harry could live. And he, Sirius, had stepped out from behind the veil just the very second Voldemort had died.

"Sirius, what are you thinking about?" he heard Ginny say.

"Was it you?" he asked quietly.

"What?"

"Were you watching over me the days after I got back? Were you the one not leaving my side until my condition improved?" said Sirius, his eyes fixed on the fireplace.

Ginny didn't answer immediately. She just looked at him with an odd expression, hiding her emotions behind a mask.

"Yes, I was there. All the others were busy, and I didn't want to leave you alone 'cause your condition was quite critical," she whispered, "I mean, you could have died..."

"Well, I didn't," he interrupted her as he saw tears glitter in her eyes yet again, "but thank you for not leaving me alone," he murmured and kissed the wet traces the tears had left on her cheek.

She snuggled up to him and placed her head on his chest, falling asleep to the sound of the crackling fire and his regular breaths.