Ain't Love Grand?

Ain't Love Grand?

Harry Potter, who was having a perfectly normal day, was planning on going down to lunch when Fred and George intercepted him.

"Hiya, Harry, nice weather we're having, eh?"

Harry gave Fred a sideways look. "No, it's raining."

"Well, now that the small talk is over, down to business," George grinned, leaning on Fred.

"We know that Snape put his pensieve out on is desk tonight, and we want you to go look in it!" Fred smirked. "Just put that in dare form, and you got yourself a pretty smart challenge."

"You guys shouldn't do that! I'll tell Professor Snape," squeaked a first year behind them.

Fred and George raised their eyebrows and turned around slowly to face the first year. "Oh you will, will you?" Fred grunted.

"I reckon we should do something about that, Fred," George grinned, nodding toward the broom closet.

"I was thinking the exact same thing, George!" And with that, they grabbed the first year and shoved him into the broom closet. "Have a nice lunch!'' Fred said happily, locking the door behind him.

"Anyway, where were we?" they said at the same time, turning back to Harry.

"You shouldn't have done that," Harry said, frowning at their rudeness.

"Well, the kid was going to tell Professor Snape! We didn't want that, and neither do you," Fred whispered threateningly.

"So, what if I don't do the dare?" Harry asked, not liking where this was going.

"If you don't, we'll post these pictures of you kissing Draco in the boys bathroom," Fred said, waving pictures of Harry and Draco, sure enough, snogging away in one of the stalls.

"You wouldn't!" Harry breathed.

"Oh, but we would! And you wouldn't want the entire Gryffindor common room.-"

"Or worse..." George breathed dramatically, "the entire school finding out that Harry Potter, The Boy Who Lived, is gay!" Harry just stood there, hardly believing that two of his good friends were blackmailing him to do something that one: He had already done and two: Didn't want to do again.

Harry rolled his eyes and mumbled, "Fine."

They grinned. "Good. We'll take care of Snape."

"Are you going to let the first year out of the broom closet?" Harry asked, nodding toward it.

"Umm...no!" Fred and George said, grinning at the door, which the poor first year was now pounding on.

Harry, finally getting down to the dungeons, more specifically Snape's office, looked around at all the rather unsightly things in jars. Sure enough, as Fred and George had said, the pensieve was on his desk, looking as it had the first time he had looked at it. He walked toward it, but something unexpected happened: Harry tripped, fell on it, and tipped it over!

The liquid spilled out on the floor, but it did something that normal liquid just doesn't do: it started covering the walls, the floor, everything! Harry watched in astonishment. Well, and terror, but mostly astonishment.

He watched as the room changed from a nasty, leaky dungeon to the beautiful grounds of Hogwarts in the springtime. He could feel the breeze, and smell the grass, and hear the...Professor Snape?

Harry had never heard him sound like this. He sounded happy! He sounded younger too... Oh, dang, he was much younger, like Harry's age. He was also chasing after a very pretty girl.

*~*

"Candy! Candy!" Severus yelled happy.

The girl rolled her eyes. "What, Sevy-poo?" she answered in an over-sugary way, like she was talking to a dog or something.

"I got your clean clothes, your books, and I did your homework," he panted, looking up at her lovingly, seeing, as she was a good inch taller than he was.

She smiled and said in her sugary voice, "Oh, Sevy-poo, thank you so much! Now I need you to carry my other books and my wand."

Snape, who had not put any of her other things down, whined pathetically, "But, I don't have any hands left, Candy."

"Well, you can't expect me to carry all these heavy books all by my self," she whimpered, sticking her lower lip out and making her eyes big and sad-looking.

Snape smiled (oh, my god, he actually SMILED?) and said, "Well, how can I say no to that? Pile them on!"

Once they were all in Snape's arms, as they towered over his head, she placed her wand in his mouth and said, "There, perfect! Now, don't drop any." His legs were shaking with the weight of all the books, but he still nodded and walked her to her class.

As they passed the fountain, they heard a certain James Potter yelling, "Hey, Candy! Nice dog! Got him on a short enough leash?"

"Hey don't say that!" she snapped/giggled, stopping short, which caused Severus to run into her, dropping her books all over, with a good amount on top of him.

"I'll have you know that we, Candy and I, are equals in this relationship," Severus said proudly.

Candy rolled her eyes again. "Just pick up the books," she said, patting him on the head.

"Right away, dear." And with that, he popped down to pick them up, which sent James, Sirus and the rest of the crew into a fit of laughter.

"Oh, right, you're equals!" laughed Sirus.

"Come on, Sevy-poo, let's go," Candy said, picking him off the ground. Which was after he had all her books, of course.

This sent the group into a fit of laughter so hard that Remus almost fell into the fountain.

"Sevy-poo?! Did she just call you Sevy-poo?!" Sirius and James screamed together. They were almost to tears with laughter and they had as though charismas had come early.

"Yes she did! Don't make fun of her," Severus said, turning bright red.

"Oh, never would even think of it! We'll just make fun of you, Sevy-poo," James teased, and with that, they fell into loud, annoying laughter again.

"You gits!" Severus yelled, whipping out his wand.

"Oh, now let's not get violent," Sirius laughed, snatching the wand out of Severus' hand. With that, James and Sirus hoisted him up and marched toward the rubbish bins.

"No, no, not the rubbish bin!" Severus yelled. "It's not Tuesday!"

Sirius gasped. "No! It's not! How on Earth could we make such a mistake?" he asked, very melodramatically.

"What in Merlin's name are we to do, Padfoot?" James said, sadly.

Remus rolled his eyes. "Well, why don't you just toss him in the lake?" he asked exasperatedly.

James' eyes lit up. "Great idea, Moony! To the lake we go!"

They ran off to the lake, Severus still hoisted high above their heads.

Remus, who had only meant that as a joke, was running after them shouting, "No, wait! Sirius, James, I didn't mean it! I was just joking!"

"Doesn't matter if you were joking, Remus, it's still a great idea!" Sirius yelled as they reached the bank.

"Ok, ready, Sevy-poo?" James asked. "Here we go! One...two...THREE!" He and Sirius launched Severus as far into the lake as they could.

He came up sputtering, choking and struggling for breath. He was so far out in the water that his feet could no longer touch the ground, which was bad for him, seeing as he'd never had a swimming lesson in his life.

The Fab Four (a.k.a. Marauders) broke into the largest fits of laughter of that particular day. They didn't know how badly all this was affecting Severus. They didn't know that he was deathly afraid of water, seeing as his father had tried to drown him once when he was a very young child.

A pretty, thin-sounding laughter came from behind the Fab Four, causing them to turn around to see who it was. As it turned out, it was Candy, laughing her head off.

"What the bloody hell are you laughing at?" James asked incredulously. "I mean, I'm no big fan of Snivellus, but he's your boyfriend, woman! You shouldn't be laughing!"

Candy stopped laughing immediately and glared at James. Just then, she noticed that Lily Evans had helped Severus to get back onto shore. Mustering up all the stupidity that was in her, she ran forward to Severus, slammed Lily out of the way, and squealed, "Oh, Sevy-poo! Are you alright?" She fell on him and immediately began administrating mouth-to-mouth.

Severus pushed her off of him. "Candy, what are you doing? I'm fine! Honestly, where were you when I was out there, drowning? That's when I needed you!"

The Fab Four, yet again, went into uncontrollable fits of laughter.

Candy glared at them, helped Severus to his feet, and stalked off, dragging him along behind her.

*~*

The scene around Harry swirled and changed. He was now in a corner of a common room, which he assumed to be Slytherin's. Severus and Candy were sitting in armchairs by the fire, very close to each other, holding hands.

*~*

"Candy, we've been going out for over three months now, and there's something I want to give you," Severus said lovingly.

"What is it, Sevy-poo?"

"Oh, it's just a small something, but I think you'll like it."

"Oh, Sevy-poo, something small? Well, it had better be pretty, or I might not like you anymore," she teased in that not really teasing kind of way.

"Well, it's a necklace. It was Great-Gran's, and it's been passed down ever since. When it was passed down to me, my mum gave it to me to give to the girl that I found most important, and...well, you're the most important girl that I know of."

And with that, he pulled out the necklace. It was beautiful! There were two snakes that had deep, ruby eyes and white silver bodies.

"Oh, Sevy-poo, it's beautiful!" she breathed. She slipped it on. It really was gorgeous. The two snakes intertwined in the shape of an S. The rubies shined attractively in the torchlight.

Severus stared with his mouth slightly open when he looked at her. Candy smiled and kissed him on the cheek. Severus's eyes got as big as baseballs when she did this, because she never kissed him, or did any other form of physical contact for that matter. "Wow! I didn't know you would

have a present for me, too!" Severus stammered.

The next day, the lovebirds were separated quite early in the day and, poor Sevy-poo got so-called help from non-other than Mr. James Potter.

Severus was unfortunate enough to be stuck in Flitwick's classroom after the class had ended. During the week, house-elves were supposed to have been painting the Charms classroom, but they had stopped for classes to take place, and they left the paint buckets where they were.

Unfortunately, Severus had accidentally caused the paint buckets to explode, earning him the privilege to clean it up during his lunch.

And so, that was how James found him: on his hands and knees, scrubbing paint off the floor.

James strolled in casually. "Quite a mess you've made here, Sevy-poo!"

"What do you want, Potter?" Severus asked, not turning around.

"Oh, but it's not what I want, it's what your girlfriend wants. She sent me up here to get you."

Severus looked up at him suspiciously. "And...why would she do that?"

James shrugged. "I don't know. But she was acting like it was urgently important."

"Honestly?"

James raised an eyebrow. "Now, Sevy-poo, would I lie to you?"

Severus rolled his eyes and stood up. "You'd better not be lying." He started towards the open door.

"I would run if I were you, Sevy. She's not in a very patient mood today."

Halfway across the classroom, Severus broke into a run. He sprinted to the open door...

...and stopped short, as if he had slammed into something. He fell over backwards and clutched his forehead.

James broke into hysterical laughter as a door materialized out of thin air.

The door opened and Sirius came walking in, holding his sides with laughter.

"Oh, I'm sorry Snivellus!" he roared. "It was an accident!"

"Yeah, he didn't mean to make the door invisible!" James laughed.

Severus stood up, glared at them both hurtfully, and stormed out the door.

"There you are!" Candy roared at him as he walked past the Transfiguration classroom.

"What do you mean?" Severus asked.

"I sent James after you almost fifteen minutes ago!" she yelled. "Honestly, Sevy-poo, sometimes I think you don't really love me!"

"Of course, of course I love you!"

"Well, you don't show it!" Candy wailed, running out of the room, leaving Severus to stand there and look confused.

"Wait, Candy, please! I love you! You know I love you! James just came to get me, I swear!"

"Oh, whatever, Sevy-poo you're cheating on me, I just know it!" Candy whimpered.

"What? First of all, no, I'm not. I could never cheat on a wonderful girl like you, and second of all WITH WHO?"

Candy thought for a moment and smiled wickedly. "You're right. Your personality is not wanted or tolerated by most other people." She laughed turning and trotting away.

Severus gave a hollow laugh and looked hurtfully down at his shoes, as a fellow Slytherin girl walked by him, almost in tears with giggles. Harry looked at Snape. He knew the feeling; like no one cared.

~*~

The room swirled and changed once again to show the Great Hall. It was not long after dinner, because most people were still sitting at their tables, chatting with friends and putting off homework. Harry looked around and noticed Candy and Severus sitting at the end of the Slytherin table.

Candy sighed impatiently, and looked as if she didn't want to be there at all. "Severus, what is this all about? And make it fast, I would like to talk to my friends!"

"Oh, well, it shouldn't last too long," Severus said nervously. "It's just that...well...I have a question to ask you...."

"Spit it out, Sevy-poo, you're wasting my time."

"Alright, then." Severus slid out of his chair and knelt on the floor in front of Candy. "Well, Candy, I've been thinking and...I mean, I really love you, and I would like to...to grow old with you a-and...maybe have a family, so..." He took out a box with a beautiful silver ring with a heart-shaped diamond in the center. "So...will you marry me?"

Candy stared at him for a second, her face growing redder with each passing second. "What? What? Of course I won't marry you, are you mad?" she shrieked. "In fact, we're through. I no longer want to see you ever again, Severus Snape!" She stood and stormed over to her friends and smiled bubbly as if nothing had just happened.

Severus watched her go in disbelief, feeling a horrible pain in his heart. He stood and started walking shakily to the door of the Great Hall, fighting back tears with all his might.

"So, Sevy-poo, you just got your heart and your pride broken in front of the entire Great Hall by the one girl you ever loved! How do you feel?" James yelled, grabbing Severus and holding him so that everyone could get a good look at his pain.

Severus didn't say anything; he just shut his eyes tightly as tears started leaking down his face silently.

"Come on, come on, Sevy, answer! We won't judge!" Sirius laughed, wrapping his arm around his neck."

"Guys, don't!" Remus said harshly.

"Hey, I think you're forgetting who we're talking to! It's Snivellus! Hello! It's not like one of our hearts were broken," James said with an eye-roll.

"That would be impossible! You don't have hearts to break!" Severus cried, shoving Sirius, who slammed into James, knocking them both over.

With that, Severus ran out, sobbing.

Harry felt incredibly angry. Not at Severus, but at James. How could his own father be so heartless?

"Evening, Potter."

Harry froze as he heard Snape's icy voice behind him. "Professor! I..." Harry started to say, but Snape stopped him.

"Is watching my worst memories just a hobby of yours?" The picture swirled, and suddenly, the room was no longer covered in the solid light (or liquid wind, which ever it was).

Snape walked over to his desk and sat down, not looking at Harry. "Now you know why I hate your father. Turns out, Candy never liked me. She was only going out with me as a dare from your father and his little lackeys." He dropped his head into his hand and looked so pitiful that Harry actually felt his own heart break.

"Professor, really, I'm so sorry..."

"Just get out, Potter," Snape whispered hurtfully.

Harry walked out of the office quickly to find Fred and George on the other side of the door, looking at him with rather guilty grins.

"Oh! Hiya, Harry!" Fred said, looking at George.

"Yeah, sorry about Snape. We tried to stop him; we even shoved him into a broom closet like that one kid, but he blasted the door off!" George said with a small laugh.

"Good news is...you're still alive! Bad news is...umm...Gryffindor is down, like, 95 points and you have detention for a month because we kind of told him what you were doing, so 'NIGHT!" they both said together in one breath, and left Harry there, quite stumped.

FIN