Good Doctor

Good doctor

Remus held on for dear life. He couldn't let go; he didn't want to let go. If he could just hold on a little bit longer, then maybe (just maybe) he could save himself.

"Damn it, Remus! Let go of your bedpost! You're going to the doctor!"

"No! NO! NO! I will not go to the doctor! No! It's just a broken foot! It will heal!"

"Yes, it will heal: WRONG! Now let's go! There is nothing to be scared of!" Lily grunted, pulling on Remus's not-broken foot.

"Come on, Moony! You'll get a free lollipop!" James insisted, picking at Remus's fingers, trying to make him let go.

"I don't want a free lollipop! Then I'll get a cavity and go to the dentist's, and you think this is hard? Try getting me there!" He panted, still holding on to the bedpost.

"Oh my god, you big baby!" Lily yelled in frustration.

"Hey! I am not a baby!" Remus whimpered.

"I'm not a baby," Lily mimicked.

"Sirius, help me, please! You know how much I hate to go to the doctor!" Remus whined, reaching toward Sirius, who was sitting there utterly enjoying himself.

"Oh, you guys, come on. Does he really have to go? Look at that face," Sirius said with a large gesture toward Remus, particularly his facial region.

"Don't you help him!" Lily snapped threateningly.

Sirius looked like he might wet himself, but he stood his ground. "No. You're not going to take him to the doctor if he doesn't want to go," he mumbled timidly.

James looked at Lily with a 'let me handle this' type of air. "Ok. We're not going to take him to the doctor. But you know...what if the town goes all wonky and they come after him again? He can't run, by the looks of it. It's not going to heal right, so he might not even be able to run even when it does heal," James said coolly.

"So to be honest, we're looking out for Remus by doing this. It's in his best interest," Lily said in the same manner as James.

Sirius was silent. He remembered when the town was crazy. They didn't like Remus. It was a very small town, and they didn't really like the idea of a werewolf in their town. They practically brought a lynch mob to their front door.

"You're right. I'm wrong. Sorry, buddy!" Sirius laughed, tickling Remus under his ribs.

"No! You traitor!" Remus laughed/screamed, letting go of the bedpost and crumpling up like a dead spider to protect his ribs. Sirius and James tackled him and carried him out the door despite his kicking and screaming. It was a long trip to the doctor's, to say the least.

"Hey, I'll give you a galleon if we don't stay!" Remus said hopefully, pushing a galleon under Sirius's nose.

"Remus, are you kidding me? My family is one of the richest families in the wizarding world! Do you really think a galleon is going to sway me enough to be killed slowly and inventively by Lily? Answer wisely! Remember, you can't run!" Remus put the galleon back into his pocket looking, very gloomy indeed.

"Mr. Remus Lupin, the doctor will see you now," the fat little nurse said from behind the desk. He gulped and stood up was walked uneasily to the door as James hummed the funeral march. Remus came into the blindingly white room and sat down on the bed.

"Hello, Remus. Congratulations! You're pregnant!" the doctor said with a smile.

"What! H-how did THAT happen? Well...I know how it could happen but... how - why - I'M A BOY!"

"Just joking! Normally only the females buy it, though!" he laughed, clapping Remus on the shoulder. Remus blushed. He couldn't believe he fell for something so stupid.

"Anyway, let's get on with the fun part. Open your mouth" he ordered, sticking his fingers in Remus's mouth without washing them first.

"Umm, what are you doing? Doesn't the dentist check my teeth?" Remus asked, trying to talk around the huge fingers in his mouth well trying not to drool on himself.

"Common misconception. Truth is, I do that now. Oh, looks like you have quite the pair of tonsils there, Mr. Lupin." The doctor grinned and with that, he poked one of them.

"Hey!" Remus coughed, pulling the doctors finger out of his throat and fighting the urge to vomit. "You don't need to gag me! I know I have a big pair of tonsils, thank you!" he snapped angrily.

"Well there is no need to get snippy, my little K9! And speaking of which, time to check your reflexes!" All of a sudden, the doctor pulled out his little reflex-checking thing and hit Remus in the ear quite hard.

"HEY, OWW! That's not where my reflexes are supposed to be checked!" Remus yelled, clutching his ear.

"Hey! Hey! Hey! Who's the doctor here?" the doctor snapped angrily, as if he were the one who just got hit in the ear.

"Well, you, but - hey, OUCH!" Remus yelped as the doctor grabbed his foot.

"What's this from?" he grunted, holding up the broken foot, much to Remus's dismay.

"MERLIN'S BEARD!" Remus screamed, tears swelling in his eyes.

"Do you guys think we should check on him?" Sirius asked, looking up from his Cosmo magazine.

"No, I'm sure he's fine," Lily said with a wave of her hand.

**Meanwhile back in the doctor's room...**

"Hey, ouch! OUCH! That's not supposed to bend!" Remus yelled as the doctor bent his nose to its breaking point.

"Stop talking. It's rude," the doctor said shortly

"WHAT?"

"Shut up!"

"NO! You're the doctor here and you haven't even asked me about my problem...jerk!" Remus clucked angrily.

The doctor sighed, stared at him rolled his eyes (much bigger than he needed to) and said, "Fine, it's very unorthodox, but what's your problem?"

Remus' jaw almost hit the floor. "Unorthodox...? UNORTHODOX?! YOU'RE A DOCTOR! It's your JOB! And my foot is broken!" Remus said angrily, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

"Well, ok. You know what you need?" He paused. "A shot!"

Remus yelped. "What? NO! I hate shots! No way!"

"Well, I'm the doctor, and I say you need a..." he trailed off, held out his hand, and a small syringe popped into it, "shot!"

"NOOOOO!!"

"Ok, I really think somebody should check on him..." Sirius said with a glance to the door.

"Oh, Sirius, stop! He's fine!" Lily said, getting quite tired of Sirius' constant longings to go and check on his whinny boyfriend.

Oh how wrong she was! "STOP, STOP, STOP!" Remus positively shrieked, hopping around on one foot in an attempt to get away from the doctor, who was still holding the syringe.

"Oh, just hold still. This won't hurt but a little!"

"What's it for? You can fix my foot with a spell for God's sake!"

The doctor stopped in mid step. "Now who told you that?"

"Smart people! Very, very smart people who don't prick me with needles!"

**Meanwhile, back in the waiting room.**

"Ok, that's it. How long does it take to do a healing spell?" Sirius huffed, standing up and walking to the nurse. "Excuse me." He smiled charmingly.

"Yes?" the little witch asked, almost starting to drool.

"Yes, well, my Remus taking a bit long. Could you pop in the room and see how much longer this is going to take? He's Doctor Karvorico's care." The nurse gave a very jiggly chuckle.

"Oh, no he isn't, he couldn't be. Dr. Karvorico has been fired for months now."

Sirius smile was still on his face only because the statement hadn't sunken in yet. But when it did: "WHAT? ARE YOU TELLING ME MY LITTLE REMY IS IN WITH A SOME QUACK WHO IS DOING... QUACK-LIKE THINGS TO HIM?!" Sirius exploded into the room to find Karvorico trying to wrestle Remus's shirt off to check his blood pressure.

"Who are you, then?" he asked happily, releasing Remus from his grip just as the little nurse pushed her way by with surprising strength for such a little witch.

"Now doctor, what are you doing out of your straitjacket?" she asked as if talking to a child.

And surprisingly, he answered like one. "I didn't want to wear it. It was itchy," he whimpered, sticking out his lip.

"Oh." The little nurse smiled, pulling out her wand, mumbling a spell and tapping Remus on the foot.

"There. You're free to go, now where did you put the other doctor young man?" She poofed out with the doctor before he could even utter a 'What? That was it?' There was a moment of 'what the hell just happened' before Remus piped up.

"Can we get ice cream?"

Sirius, after getting up from the floor from laughing so hard, took a few deep breaths and wheezed. "Yeah..." he trailed off, walking over and hugging Remus to him and kissed his forehead. Sirius chuckled, "Now, that wasn't so bad, was it?"

The end