How Kissing Works

"Harry, have you ever wondered how it's like?"

Harry looked up from his homework and looked over at Ron, who obviously had his mind on something else at the moment besides the Defense Against the Dark Arts essay due the following day. "How what's like?"

Ron quickly looked down at his lap. "You know... kissing girls," he said quietly, almost at a whisper, his cheeks starting to redden

Harry didn't know how to respond to this. He never had anybody to talk about girls with. Dudley surely would've teased him mercilessly if he ever brought up the subject of kissing. "Well, er-"

"I mean, it can't be that gross, right? My older brother, Bill, always said that he enjoyed kissing girls. I even heard him say that," Ron squished up his face in disgust before continuing, "-that he used his tongue once. Can you believe that? He actually stuck his tongue into another person's mouth!"

Harry took a moment to take this all in and had the mental image of an older version of Ron grabbing a girl's face and shoving his straight and stiff tongue into her mouth. He pictured Ron and the girl standing still with their faces against each others, with Ron's tongue still in her mouth. Harry never realized that friends talked to each other about things like this.

"Maybe your brother had a reason for using his tongue, Ron. Maybe, while they were k-k-kissing, the girl's mouth accidentally opened, and his tongue just, well...er, slipped through," Harry said, glad that he came up with a logical explanation. He really couldn't see any reason as to why somebody's tongue wouldn't just accidentally end up in another person's mouth.

"No," Ron said, thinking it over, "no, I'm pretty sure Bill did it on purpose. I feel really sorry the girl though. For all we know, Bill could've been eating corned beef an hour before!"

Harry couldn't help but to laugh. If he would ever stick his tongue into a girl's mouth, which Harry decided would be never, he would at least do her a favor and brush his teeth before hand.

"I always wondered how kissing a girl would feel like, though." Ron sighed and crossed his arm, leaning his head back.

Harry was surprised that Ron wasn't embarrassed about admitting this. He never had anybody admit a personal secret like this to him before. It made him feel happy, in a way, that he could be trusted, that he had a friend who actually wanted to confess secrets to him. Harry decided that he should be honest about kissing girls with Ron too, even though he was too embarrassed to admit anything.

"Yeah," Harry started, somehow feeling a little glad to be getting it out, "me too." He smiled and looked at Ron, who was now doodling on a spare piece of parchment.

"It'd probably feel nice though, right? Nice, but maybe not too nice. Weird, maybe. Weird, but in a nice way. Maybe... Oh what the bloody hell do I know? It's not like I've ever kissed a girl before!" Ron said a bit too loudly. He started drawing furiously on his piece of parchment, not noticing that a couple of people around them were starting to stare.

Meanwhile, Harry quickly turned around, quickly explaining to everybody that they were quoting lines from a muggle movie. They all look gave him confused looks but, thankfully for Harry, turned back to whatever they were doing.

He turned back to see Ron looking at his finished drawing, who had a very smug look on his face. "What's that?" Harry asked, trying to catch a glimpse of the parchment. He had secretly hoped that it was a hideous drawing of Professor Snape.

Ron quickly stuffed it his pocket. "Oh! Nothing, nothing."

"Hey, Ron, don't worry about it. I've never kissed a girl either," Harry said, trying to sound comforting. He gave Ron a hopeful smile. "And I'm sure nobody here really even cares if other's have been kissed or not. Well, I don't, at least."

"Yeah, well... I guess you're right. I mean, why should it matter, right? We're not even teenagers yet, so why should it matter?"

"Right! We are only 11-years-old, after all. Who would expect us to be expert kissers? We're still practically kids! We don't even have armpit hair!"

Ron flushed and stared down at his lap. "Well, actually..."

"Really? Is it red?"

"Harry!" He gave Harry a look. "And yeah, sorta. But there was only one little hair the last time I checked."

"Aww... little Ronnikin's been checking for armpit hair!"

"And he even has a little one!"

"I remember being eleven and doing quick little checks every now and then-"

"Turned out we both had several hairs on our pits as well."

"We were feeling like men already!"

Harry and Ron turned around to see Fred and George standing behind them, both of whom were looking pretty smug at the moment.

"So, Ron-"

"How long have you two been standing there?" Ron's face had suddenly very red. He didn't seem to thrilled to find his two older brothers listening in on their conversation.

"Long enough to know, little brother-"

George cut Fred off, finishing the rest of the sentence, as most twins did. "-That you are interested in knowing how kissing feels like. We didn't have any idea you were into girls yet."

"You should've come to us, Ron. We both happen to have some expertise in the area of kissing girls-"

"Me, a little more than Fred over here!"

Fred placed his hand on his hips and gasped, trying to sound offened. "How could you say that? We've both gotten 2 kisses each... Unless," he gasped again, "George Weasley, have you been keeping secrets from me? Could you have possibly gotten kissed by Angelina on the Hogwarts Express before we came home last year?"

"You kissed that girl on the Quidditch team?" Ron asked, almost sounding impressed.

It was George's turn to blush. "Yeah well... Hey! How did you know?"

"Well, let's just say that I have my sources," Fred said, acting like some detective, "Plus, I saw you leaving the compartment with that 'I just got kissed' face of yours in a hurry. Tsk, tsk. I should've known not to leave you two alone in there, even for just a minute."

"That's besides the point! The point is: Our littlest brother is in need with some help. And us, being the older, role model brothers, need to help him out!"

Harry secretly wished that he had older brothers that could look out for him and help him whenever he needed it, even if they were just doing it just to get into his personal business. He always envied the fact that Ron had such a big family from the time since he had met him on the train.

"Well, your little brother does not need help, thank you very much! Your little brother would, in fact, appreciate it if you two would stop eavesdropping on his private conversations!" Ron turned back around and faced the table they were sitting at, pretending to be writing something down on a piece of parchment, which reminded Harry about the essay he still had to finish.

"Me 'n Ron, we should probably finish that essay we have for tomorrow," Harry murmured at Fred and George. He looked down at the ground, not exactly sure what to say next. He didn't want to come in between things between Ron and his brothers.

It became clear to Harry that Ron didn't feel too comfortable talking to his brothers about things like this. Harry was sure that if he had an older friend or brother who knew about these things that he would go to them and ask for advice. Then again, he had been nervous when Ron and brought up the subject on kissing with him, and he did feel a little uneasy about talking about it openly, so he decided that he couldn't blame Ron. Though, Harry secretly rejoiced in the fact that Ron choose to talk to him about the subject over his brothers.

"It's okay, Ron," Fred finally spoke.

"Yeah, we weren't exactly all that open when Percy gave us advice on this sort of thing either-"

Ron snorted and turned around. "Percy? Really?" he asked, sounding interested. "When?"

George smiled. "A while back. The whole talk was a little too embarrassing-"

"Yeah, I remember him saying 'George, Fred, remember to kiss girls as if you're kissing a pillow. Their lips are soft, not hard like apples.'"

Ron bursted out laughing. "You serious?"

Fred and George both nodded.

"As much as it hurts us to say-"

"Yeah, Percy's about the world's worst advice giver."

"We pretty much begged him to stop when he got to the part about comparing making out to having porridge in your mouth-"

"Never looked at breakfast foods the same again," Fred said, shuddering.

Ron opened his mouth to say something, but suddenly closed it. He never thought Fred and George would be talking to him about kissing. It was probably the last subject he thought the three of them would ever discuss. Ron finally managed to get a word out: "P-porridge?"

"Mmhmm... and we are extremely sorry if that just took away your love for porridge."

"Yeah, well-" Ron started.

"Listen, we're just offering our knowledge about kissing to you before Percy comes and scars you for life. It's what brothers are for, anyway," George said.

"Right. So if you and Harry want to hear it from us first, rather than going out and kissing some girl and embarrassing yourself just to find out, just let us know."

"We promise we won't make fun of you-"

"Okay, maybe just a little bit- Ow!"

George had elbowed Fred on the side. "Ignore what Fred said. We're at your service, Ron."

Ron could tell that they seriously wanted to give him advice. "Well, er, maybe tomorrow, we sort of have this essay due tomorrow." He looked up at his brothers. "I could use some help on it actually. You two said you'd be willing to help, after all."

Fred and George looked as if they were trying to come up with an excuse to not help Ron.

"We actually sorta meant we'd help you out-"

"With issues when it comes to girls. Homework help wasn't included in the package."

Ron turned around, towards the blank roll of parchment that he had to fill before the night ended. "I got an essay to finish," Ron said, with his backs towards them, "thanks for the offer, though. I think I can figure out how kissing works by myself."

"If you say so," said Fred. He and George walked away, leaving Harry and Ron alone once again.

"So... about what Fred and George said," Harry started, looking at Ron.

Ron flipped open the thick Defense the Dark Arts book that had been lying on the table for the past hour. "Not now, Harry. We should finish our homework."