Kiss the Girl

Kiss the Girl

Chapter 5

Temporary Truce

~*~

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"The world is full of obvious things which nobody by any chance ever observes."

-The Hound of the Baskervilles - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

***

Hogwarts was supposed to be the safest place on Earth. No place else could one be more protected, secure, and all the other synonyms that go along as with such words. Harry Potter had never felt this to be completely accurate. Probably because of that incident in his first year where an employee had had a dark lord strapped to his head.

Oh...but then there was that time that the self same dark lord preserved his past self and set a basilisk on the school, almost killing his best friend´s little sister and closing the school. There was also a deranged murderer who had been able to break in, even if in the end said deranged murderer proved to be neither of these qualities. Not to mention the dementors. And the evil spy. There was also that portkey that the evil spy had created...

And that was only a list of the obvious.

This is why Harry was only mildly surprised when a hand pulled him into a classroom. There was the initial alarm, yes, but after that, just a lack of patience to find out who was trying to kill him this time. Surprisingly, the evil that wanted to have a word with him was not Voldemort, but Draco Malfoy.

Draco stood there in all his Slytherin glory. Glory in this sense meaning a smug grin on his face that Harry had gladly wished Hermione had gotten rid of permanently when she slapped his face during third year.

"Potter," Draco stated.

"Evil Incarnate," Harry replied.

"Touché, Potter, when did somebody hit you with the witty stick?"

"Around the same time somebody hit you with the stick called slimy git."

Draco looked mildly impressed. It wasn´t every day a Gryffindor stood around and shouted at him with phrases that didn´t include, "Shut up, Malfoy." He inwardly supposed that it was a nice change, for once.

"I´m not here to conduct verbal warfare, Potter." Harry raised an eyebrow.

"Malfoy, I´m not joining Death Eater Youth with you. I thought I made this clear first year."

Malfoy smirked, "Yes, I remember quite well. You chose Weasley the pauper and Granger the Mudblood instead."

"Isn´t that getting a bit old?" Harry scowled. "I thought somebody with your `brilliance´ could have thought out a new insult by now."

To Harry´s utter amazement, Draco nodded. "My thoughts exactly, Potter. So what we need is to get together and make something happen."

"Whoa!" Harry scampered back against the nearest wall. "I ask you Malfoy, in the name of all that is good--or in your case, obnoxious, to keep your kinky thoughts to yourself! I always knew you Slytherins were a strange bunch, but this is crossing the line!"

"Seriously, Potter. We have to get this done quickly, I have class in a few minutes."

Harry gaped, but soon regained speech. "I will not have any type of relationship with you, Malfoy. My broomstick does NOT fly that way!"

A disgusted look crossed Draco´s porcelain visage. "While Malfoys do not usually resort to such vulgar wording, I think it´s in my right to say this now. Eww!" Draco shuddered, and then ran a hand threw his silver-blond hair, "Potter, I wouldn´t touch you with a fifty-foot pole. I´m here to fix up your idiotic friends. Besides, I wouldn´t want to disappoint the female population, especially with...you."

"And I´m supposed to find this less unnerving?" Harry looked as if he wanted to pinch Draco to see if he was real, but then thought better of it. The dark-haired boy wasn´t sure, but he might very well be permanently scarred.

"Potter. Let´s just get this over with," Draco took seat at a random desk, using the chair in front of the desk as a makeshift ottoman.

Harry rolled his eyes. Once a Malfoy, always a Malfoy. "Why should I believe you? All you´ve ever done is attempt to terrorize me and my friends, the fact that you want to help any of us do anything is beyond comprehension."

"Wow, that last word had four syllables. How long did it take you to think it up?"

"Malfoy! Don´t change the subject." Harry took a firmer grip on his wand, just in case Voldemort was using Draco´s body as a vassal. One can never be too careful about these types of things. At least, not if your name begins with `H´ and ends with `arry Potter.´

"Listen, you may be the famous--"

Harry yawned, cutting Draco off. "I´ve heard this one before. Skip to the part after you threaten me."

Draco looked disappointed. "That was my favorite part, too. Anyway, the cause of all my problems is the fact that there´s absolutely nothing original for me to degrade you three with anymore. It´s as if the world is void of all that is sinister."

"Yeah...I think I´m going to go now. It´s been fun!" Harry tried to get out the door.

"Wait!" Draco ran over and blocked the doorframe. "You have to help me! I´ve been composing a list of all the insults I can hurl at a coupled Weasley and Granger since last summer, and at the rate those morons are going, I´ll never get to use any of them! I think I may just have a right to be alarmed."

"So," Harry began, "You want me to help you, help me, help you--" Harry and Draco each began to count their fingers, but could not effectively figure out who was trying to help who do what. "So you want to get Ron and Hermione together?" Harry finally said.

"Yes. But if anybody asks, I´m plotting world domination."

"Right."

"It´s a long list, Potter. With some really good ones on it. Insult number sixty-seven being my absolute favorite. It goes, what do you get when you cross--"

"Okay! I get it; you´ll keep the evilness to yourself, if you don´t mind. What do you have planned?" Harry couldn´t understand the words coming out of his own mouth. They sounded as if they were in cahoots with Draco Malfoy, but that couldn´t be the case. Harry willed himself to pay special attention to Draco´s answer, hoping to hear him break into song...at least then he would be sure he was dreaming.

Sadly, Draco did not get out his tap shoes and dance a little ditty. He said, "Well, most importantly we´ve got to fix Weasley up a bit. First off, we have to take care of that `I just rolled out of bed look´--simply revolting. Oh, and what about his attire? Really. My father would never let me keep my robes in such condition, it´s a wonder they don´t smell worse than they already do."

Draco paused to reflect on what an awful existence he would have if he were Ronald Weasley. It was a very short pause, however, as the image was very disturbing to the spoiled-brat...er...Draco. Eventually, he continued. "He needs to be more suave, sophisticated," Draco gained a cheeky grin, "In general, more like me. That should get Granger fired up."

Harry winced; he did not want to think of Hermione `fired up.´

"Why do you say that?" Harry asked, not really wanting to hear the answer. If he were a girl, he certainly wouldn´t want a guy who was remotely like Draco Malfoy. This thought was not actually told to the Slytherin, as the blond was likely to have an apoplectic fit that somebody didn´t find him striking.

Draco looked at him incredulously. "Do you see this body, these clothes, this hair?" He pointed to the indicated areas. "I am a god. And while I can´t promise that Weasley will look even a fraction as good as me, I definitely can give the kid some pointers. So, I´ll order the necessary equipment, and you have Red-Rodent down here next Friday before he leaves for Hogsmeade with Granger. And Potter, make sure you´re here early. Rome wasn´t built in a day, you know."

"How did you know about the Hogsmeade thing?" Harry asked, trying to block out the parts of Draco´s speech where he had made himself out to be Casanova.

"I´m a Slytherin." Draco stated. Harry merely stared. "Sneaky, conniving, with personal cronies all over the school." Draco looked quite proud of these qualities. Harry, on the other hand, looked like he was going to be sick. "Not to mention one fine piece of man. I think I may have gotten your share, Potter."

"Can´t we have a temporary truce or something, just until we´re done?" Harry asked wearily, scorning his traitorous words.

Draco contemplated, "But you´re so easy. It´s really only Granger and Weasley that I´m trying to h-he-hel..." Draco trailed off, his mouth unable to actually form the word `help´ when applied to this type of content.

"Personally, I don´t think I need your help," Harry quipped, "It´s not really necessary for my plans to work any time soon. You´re the only one who has anything on the line. Odd and twisted as what´s at stake may be."

"Are you saying that my daily repartee is not enjoyable to you?"

"No, I´m saying I wished you had been born without the ability to speak."

"Now, now, Potter. No need to say things you don´t really mean. I´ll agree to your truce for now."

"Deal," The two boys said. However, they could not bring themselves to shake hands. Each looked out the door, making sure the hallway was completely empty before departing.

Once they were gone, all was silent and peaceful. A pair of eyes twinkled in the shadows, "This is getting rather interesting."

*~*~ -------

When Harry recounted the day´s events to Ginny, she nearly fell over from shock, "What did Ron say?" She exclaimed.

"He didn´t say anything," Harry said.

"Did he die?!?!" Ginny shot up, obviously looking for Ron in the crowded common room.

Harry held her shoulders until she was once again sitting down on her chair, "No, Ginny, he´s not dead. I just didn´t tell him. Remember, we´re trying to keep them in the dark until the last possible minute. If we tell Ron about the date now, about Malfoy now, he´ll go live with Krum in Bulgaria."

"But Ron hates Krum," Ginny stated, obviously still confused.

"That´s the point."

"Oh." Silence, then, "You really had a conversation with Satan?"

"Yes, Ginny, I had a conversation with Malfoy."

"What is this world coming to?" She whispered, falling back farther into her seat, in a very dramatic type of way.

"What´s what world coming to?" a new voice interjected. Hermione laid down her books on the coffee table, then plopped into a spare chair next to Harry. Not bothering for Ginny to reply, the brown-haired girl went on, "I´ll tell you one thing, with the way rumors fly around these halls, I won´t be surprised by whatever it is you´re talking about. I may even know already."

"It´s not true!" Harry shouted. Ginny shot him a look that clearly said, "Smooth, Harry, very smooth."

"I don´t know if it is or not. I´m not really friends with Padma," Hermione continued, apparently nonplussed over Harry´s defense of the Ravenclaw. "But you have to figure she and Parvati must want to switch places once in awhile, just for a laugh. Fred and George certainly do. I just think the fact that she wouldn´t tell her sister´s boyfriend when he leaned in to kiss her is somewhat odd."

Harry blushed; maybe Draco really did have cronies that kept the rumors Draco didn´t want heard out of circulation.

"That is odd, Hermione." Ginny said, although she´d been there when the incident had happened and had witnessed Parvati dragging her sister into the hallway for a good tongue-lashing over kissing Dean Thomas. Truthfully, she´d found the event hilarious.

"Well then, I think I´ll go find Ron, you know, just to see if he needs any help on his homework or anything." Hermione smiled and went off to find her friend.

"Are they really that oblivious to each other?" Harry said, watching Hermione walk away.

"Love can be unaware sometimes. Maybe even unwanted."

"How can you not want to love somebody you already love?" Harry said, brining new meaning to the term oblivious.

"It was just a random thought, Harry. Don´t worry about it. So, I´ll talk to Parvati and Lavender, and have Hermione ready for next Friday." Ginny said goodnight and walked up the dormitory stairs.

Harry blinked, trying to muddle through Ginny´s philosophy, as well as her comments about his two female classmates. When the thought came to him, it was voiced aloud, "Did I miss something?"