No Longer Loving In Silence

That evening after dinner, the group of young adults lounged inside the Weasleys' small, but cozy, living room. Harry, who was feeling drowsy after drinking two mugs of hot chocolate, was too lazy to conjure a chair for himself. He sat on the floor and leaned back against the wall. He smiled lazily as he watched the antics of the youngest Weasley sibling and his two best friends. Harry was too preoccupied looking at the lively scene of teasing to be aware of a monstrous, velvety and rectangular object that was coming fast in his direction.

His laughter was suddenly cut off as a cushion smacked the side of his face. "Owww."

"Harry, you're slipping. You used to be able to duck when things came flying at you." Charlie Weasley, the wizard responsible for the flying cushion, grinned broadly.

"Fuck off, Charlie," Harry said crossly.

"Harry." Hermione's voice held a dangerous note.

"Oh, come on!" Ron gave his girlfriend a pleading look. "It's a good sign, you know. I mean, when Harry swears."

"Ronald, sometimes your perception of things often makes me wonder if you're all right in the head."

"Y-ouch," Fred and George said at the same time. The company, except for Ron and Hermione, burst out into laughter.

"Move over, Harry." Charlie waved at him and Harry moved to make room for the dragon keeper. "So ... how are things going for you?"

Harry could not tell why he felt uneasy. He told himself that perhaps he did not like people to sit so close to him, especially in an already cramped environment. "All right, I guess. But I don't understand why business is still brisk, though." His expression became amused.

"Ha ha." Fred snorted derisively.

"Exactly, twin. What in the bloody hell was Lockhart thinking?"

"Well, if he still want to write, that's his business," Ginny said, shrugging.

"Write a load of nonsense, probably."

"That's good then, Harry. You won't have time to feel bored," Charlie said sententiously. "So ... Harry. Do you have a girlfriend?"

"Oi, Charlie!" Fred called.

"It's boyfriend. Not girlfriend," George corrected.

"Someone's getting old." Bill snickered.

"And someone's even older," Charlie muttered and his face reddened slightly. "Ah – sorry, Harry. I had forgotten about that." He actually sounded sheepish. "So do you have one? Mostly every one here has a partner – even my baby sister has one."

Ginny cleared her throat dangerously and Harry's eyes flickered to watch her. She was gazing at Charlie with a sardonic expression, but she was also slapping her hand threateningly against her thigh. "Charlie, before you expect Harry to answer that, why don't you tell us about yours?" Ginny asked satirically.

"Yeah, baby Ginevra's right," Bill agreed.

"Oh hush."

"I can only afford to pay attention to my dragon, my good siblings and friends. How on earth do I have a girlfriend when I'm too busy making sure that Sheva's got all her eggs," Charlie said ruefully. "So, back to you, Harry. Who's the lucky guy?"

Harry fidgeted nervously. "No one."

"Come on – we don't believe you. You disappeared on us for several months. Surely you were spending time with someone."

Harry could only shake his head. Fortunately for him, the Weasley twins quickly turned the conversation back about work, and Hermione was more than glad to have the chance to tell them about her experience working in the Ministry. Harry really tried to pay attention to what she was saying, but he was so sleepy. He hugged the cushion tightly in his arms. Damn, but I wish it were Severus that I'm hugging. I miss him. Before he could further examine that particular thought, he fell asleep.

Fred had been watching his emerald-eyed friend for quite some time, and when Harry started to sway, he reacted quickly and steadied the young wizard.

"Eh? Asleep already?" Charlie was surprised.

"Harry? Harry?" Fred started to shake the sleeping man gently.

"Hmmm?"

"Get up. If you want to sleep, sleep in a bed. You'll sleep in our room tonight."

"All right."

George came to his side quickly, and they hefted Harry to his feet together. They were heading for their rickety, old staircase when Ginny spoke loudly.

"The two of you better not try to experiment your products on Harry! He still has to work tomorrow!"

Fred swore under his breath. "That girl sounds as if she's his wife," he muttered darkly.

"Too bad our friend here absolutely prefers a husband," George sneered.

"Shut up, you two. What about you? Where are your girlfriends?"

"Oh? Awake, is he?" Fred remarked cheerfully.

"We don't really need girlfriends –"

"– to keep ourselves happy."

When Fred felt Harry stiffen, he thought about what they had said, and groaned. "Uh-oh. George, I think Harry here misinterpreted our words." His twin kicked their bedroom door open, and winced when their mother screamed at them to keep the noise down. The Weasley twins dumped Harry on one of the beds.

"You don't have to be so rough about it," Harry muttered and started to take his socks off.

George laughed and Fred draped his arm about his twin's shoulders. "Now, before we leave you alone in our bedroom, we just want to say –"

"– we weren't happy when we had girlfriends."

"That's because they wanted to keep us separated –"

"– which is rather troublesome since I don't feel whole –"

"– when he's not around to prank on me –"

"– and you two should stop talking and let me sleep. You're giving me a bloody headache talking like that," Harry finished for them.

The twins laughed and quickly exited the bedroom. They managed to close the door before the pillow Harry threw could hit them.

"Woah. Pretty impressive vocabulary you've got, Harry!" Fred raised his voice slightly, and then chuckled with his twin. They descended the staircase slowly.

"Fred, do you think he and Remus are an item?"

"Why do you ask?" He glanced at his twin and gave an inquiring look.

"Well ... Remus does spend a lot of time with him."

Fred thought about it but after he recalled what he saw a few weeks ago, he shook his head. "I don't think so, George. Not Remus. However, I think that, perhaps..."

"Snape?"

"I know how you feel," he said sympathetically. "But for some reason, I suspect that Harry had set his eyes on the git for a long time."

"You know, that morning when we went back to Grimmauld Place, I saw Harry staring at Snape," George told him.

"Really? And?"

"I think he is in love, maybe. Just that he was staring so intently at the bastard. But Snape refused to look at him all through breakfast. Can that mean something?"

Fred could not suppress the shudder that coursed through his body. "Now, that will be scary, won't it? The possibility that Snape loves Harry?"

"I don't want to think about it," George said gloomily.

It was lunchtime and Harry was walking briskly toward the Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes. There was a sign that said 'Closed for Lunch' hanging on the door, but George signaled him to come in. Fred was not around in the shop.

"George, I'm going to the hospital," Harry informed George and was not surprised to see his friend frown.

"You don't really have to see him, Harry," George said sternly.

Harry smiled and nodded. "I know," he began quietly, "but my conscience has been bothering me for several days."

"I think I'll accompany you," George muttered.

"No, you can't," Harry interjected quickly.

"Why not?"

"Kingsley warned that Draco gets a little ... mad when he sees two wizards together. But that was weeks ago. Perhaps that has changed."

"Well, take Gin." George abruptly stopped. "Crap. Ginny doesn't know." The redhead smacked his forehead.

"Nothing will happen to me. Kingsley told me that Draco's watched by two of the hospital staff all the time."

"If you're set on going then I won't stop you, but please, be careful. I don't want to have explain to Mum why you keep on disappearing," George said grumpily.

"Don't worry. I'll be careful," Harry reassured his friend.

Harry waited until the two medi-wizards leave the room before he spoke to the wizard who sat calmly on the white, immaculate bed. "How are you?" he asked carefully.

"You have plenty of courage to come here and see me," Draco drawled. "Do you think that you'll be safe from me, just because the door is wide open?"

"Draco –"

"Why? I know you can't bring yourself to use magic against me." Draco slowly got out of the bed and gave him a penetrating stare. Harry shifted on his feet nervously.

"I want to know the real reason why –" His voice broke at that point, and he coughed. He tried again. "I need to know the real reason why you..." It seemed that no matter how many times he rehearsed that question, he was not able to finish it.

"You used Legilimency on me, didn't you? You already know the reason, Harry. Why ask me?" Draco smiled. "Hurting you gave me pleasure."

Harry forced himself to stay still even when Draco sidled against his side, trailed one finger over his thigh and breathed against his neck. When he felt the Slytherin lean forward slightly, to kiss at the spot beneath his ear, he shied away. Draco smiled thinly at his reaction.

"It felt so good – tasting your blood, watching you feel pain when I'm inside you..."

"I don't believe you, Draco," Harry said finally.

"Whatever, Harry. It also fulfilled my thirst for revenge."

"Revenge?"

"Stop pretending as though you don't know what I'm talking about. I know you didn't love me from the beginning."

Harry felt peaceful at last. "Yes, you're right," he admitted. "I cared about you, but I couldn't love you."

"That's one other reason why I like it rough." Draco's grey eyes hardened. "So that you wouldn't be able to fantasize about someone else."

"That's enough, Draco."

The new voice startled the two wizards in the ward. Harry saw an expression of alarm flicker on Draco's face. Harry turned around swiftly to face the person who had spoken to his ex-boyfriend and his fingers twitched suddenly as he stared at Lucius Malfoy. There were two Aurors with the prisoner, and one of them released the chains that linked his wrists to his ankles.

"You only have two hours," the Auror said gruffly. He pushed Lucius into the room, and door closed. Harry frowned slightly at that.

"Father."

"Drop the façade, Draco, and tell him the truth. If you do not, then I will."

Harry was too shocked to demand as to why Lucius was here.

"Father –"

"I may have raised you to be a Slytherin, Draco, but do not forget that above all else, you're a wizard and a man," Lucius Malfoy said harshly. "It is Potter's right to know. Why you never told him from the beginning astounds me. Draco was cursed, Potter," Lucius said calmly, but his grey eyes were filled with anger.

"Stop it!" Draco screamed.

"Cursed?" Harry's eyes narrowed.

"Draco was cursed because of me. Because of my failure to capture you in stealth. My m – he cursed the two of us."

"What exactly did he curse you with? And how does it explain Draco's behavior toward me?" Harry took a step forward, and forced his arms to stay still, although they wanted to shake Lucius. Then Draco shouted something, and he suddenly rushed at Harry.

"Don't listen to him! Don't listen! They're all lies!"

"Silencio," Lucius said softly.

Draco's mouth worked but nothing was heard. Harry gasped and placed himself between Draco and Lucius immediately. "How did you –"

"You and I know that our wands are nothing more but tools to aid us direct our magic, Potter," Lucius replied gravely. "The two of you – sit."

Harry ignored the wizard's order but Draco fell to his knees and covered his ears with his hands. "What curse, Lucius?" Harry asked, feeling peculiarly detached at the moment.

"He knew I did not want Draco to be a part of his cult. When I failed to bring you, he..." Lucius paled. "He..." The wizard's shoulders shook tremulously. Harry was slightly alarmed to see the wizard react that way. He knew that it was not just being an Azkaban prisoner that made Lucius fearful, and whatever it was must be unpleasant to be thought of. "I had sex with Draco that night," Lucius whispered.

"I raped him," Draco said hoarsely. His voice was still affected by the Silencing Charm. "Vold – he made me rape my own father. Then –"

"The Dark Lord altered the spell so that my son would always be dominant ... and excessive."

"But why –" Harry stared at Draco, lost for words. His ex-boyfriend was sobbing, and then, Harry understood. "You couldn't bear the memory." He saw Lucius nod.

"Draco replaced me, with you. He felt guilty, so he took it out on you." Then Lucius smiled crookedly. "However, I'm glad that it was you." Harry felt his body stiffened in anger. "At least you have the notorious reputation to bounce back on your feet after a bad experience. I certainly don't want to imagine what would have happened if it had been someone else." Malfoy's face turned thoughtful. "And when the Dark Lord died, he took the information of the counter-curse with him."

Harry's knees went weak suddenly, and he sat on a nearby chair. His temples pounded and he squinted at the pain. He felt sick and waited for his nausea to pass. By that time, Draco had crawled over to where his father was. Lucius was sitting on Draco's hospital bed, and his son was hugging his legs, still crying.

"Finite Incantatem," Lucius murmured and released Draco from the charm.

"For months, Harry, I hated you," Draco said softly. "For defeating him. But now, I thank you, for bringing me here."

Harry tilted his head to one side and looked at the Malfoys in confusion. "I don't understand."

"Please forgive me," Draco whispered. "I owe you for your help in breaking the curse."

"But –"

"The answer had been so simple, and yet I was blind and stupid not to realize it. You defeated the Dark Lord with it – with a very simple thing."

Harry remained silent and considered Draco's words carefully. Then for what felt like eternity, he studied father and son. He knew the answer after he saw the way Lucius stroked Draco's hair. In addition, as though to confirm his suspicion, Draco said, "I love my father. I loved him – which was why I couldn't love you. The curse was broken when I finally admitted it to myself. I know just how wrong it is to love my own father in this manner but I can't help it. I love my father. I love to see him smile. I love to make love to him, and him doing it to me. The curse was neutralized when he visited me three days after Shacklebolt and Tonks put me here. I am actually happy with how this turned out."

Dear gods ... this is so twisted....

"I do not pretend to be a good person, but it certainly caught me off-guard to know that I did not mind to see my own son arch over me. Then I could not control the way my heart started to feel about him, or my body. It's just like –"

"A door had opened for us. Just for us," Draco said quietly.

No more. His head hurt. "I understand. You don't have to ask me to stay silent. I will not tarnish your names further."

"Thank you," Draco and Lucius replied at the same time.

Harry felt his face burn as he watched the two silver-haired wizards across him. They were giving each other looks, and Harry could tell that it was not a look that was usually exchanged by fathers and sons. My head really hurts. "Just one more question, Draco. How did you slip past the wards of my house?"

Draco blinked his eyes and stared at Harry with another penetrating gaze. "Kreacher."

Harry fisted his hand. "That elf is still alive?"

"Don't worry about it any longer, Harry. I couldn't stand him myself, so I took an axe and beheaded him."

"You did?" Harry said incredulously.

"If you happen to see Snape, please tell him that I'm sorry."

Harry looked curiously at Draco but shrugged in the end. "Well, I suppose I ought to thank you for eliminating that house-elf. And I really ought to go now." He stood up, anxious to get out of the ward immediately. "Take care, Draco."

They were not listening to him anymore and Harry blushed furiously. When he left the hospital grounds, it was with an untroubled heart, but his head still pounded. I think I am shocked by their incestuous relation. But – forget it. They're happy at least.

When Harry returned home that night, Remus was in his kitchen and was preparing dinner for two. His face must have shown that he was in pain because Remus immediately inquired, "Is this why you're home early? You have a headache?"

"Yeah, but it feels more like a migraine," Harry said with a slight smile. "Is that tea brewing on the stove?"

"Yes." Remus nodded. "I think Severus had left a headache remedy in your bedroom. I'll go check if it's still there."

Harry thanked Remus, feeling both grateful and relieved. I hope the twins kept my visit to the hospital a secret. Remus returned with the potion and they quickly laid dinner out on the small table. After Harry had his meal and medicine, he lingered, and sipped on his tea slowly.

"I don't know if I should mention this, Harry, and I know you will probably curse me for it," Remus started, "but you look lonely."

"Damned right you are," Harry growled. "What brought this on?"

"The way you looked, of course." Remus watched him expectantly and it made him nervous. "You should go out more and move on."

"I think I had rather remain single," Harry said. "It's a less convoluted life."

However, it will also be a more lonely and silent life.