Memories

Memories

It was a bright sunny Saturday morning when Harry woke up. The sunlight hit his face. He grumbled at it for disturbing his short sleep, and turned his back to the window. He hated the sun. He hated the way it greeted him. Before, he enjoyed the morning sun showering his face and would appreciate it, but now, he just wanted to be left alone, in his bed, under the covers.

He sat up lazily and stretched like a cat. He was all-awake now. He had had a hard time sleeping for over a year and any sudden movements or irritation made him fully awake, even if he had just slept for a few hours.

He looked at the clock that was sitting on the bedside table. It read nine fifteen. Too early, he thought. He unshielded his ears and listened if the telly was on in the living room, but the house was dead quiet.

He took off the blanket that was covering his lower body as he swung his legs on the side of the bed. He rummaged his feet to find his slippers. He liked these slippers. They were very comfortable and very soft. Draco had bought him this pair when they were in Morocco for their fifth year anniversary. That was years ago but Harry took care of these slippers.

He looked at the slippers while his feet were in it. He played it for a while; swinging his right leg slowly and carefully not letting go of the slipper. While he was swinging his leg, he did not see that his bedroom door had opened.

"Daddy?" she asked innocently.

Harry looked up and saw his seven-year-old adopted child, Andrea, still in her sleeping garments. She was clutching a teddy bear which Harry and Draco gave her when she was two, and her other hand was still holding the doorknob.

"Good Morning, sweetie," he said as he smiled at her.

Andrea smiled and ran towards Harry and gave him a hug. Harry caught her and hugged her tiny body. Harry straightened her shoulder-length blonde hair and kissed the tip of her head.

"Hungry, angel?" Harry asked while he was still holding Andrea.

"Yes, Daddy," she muffled to his chest. Harry felt her stiffened a bit. It was his first time to call her angel; only Draco called her that.

Harry gave her a light squeezed and said, "Come on," he shook her lightly, "let Daddy make you some pancakes. What flavor do you want this time?"

Andrea released her hug and looked brightly at Harry. Harry could have melted on the spot. Seeing her light grey eyes and her pale skin, she looked a lot like Draco. Harry touched her cheek as she softly spoke, "I want some chocolate chip, Daddy."

Harry smiled at her. "All right, sweetie. Daddy will make some chocolate chip pancakes. Why don't you go to your room and play with your toys while Daddy cooks, okay?"

Andrea nodded, released her hug and walked towards the door. When she touched the doorknob, she looked again at Harry and asked, "Are we going to see Papa today?"

"Yes," Harry almost sobbed when he spoke. He tried to smile. "Yes, sweetie, we're going to see Papa today."

Her face lit. "Okay," Andrea smiled at him. "I'm going to pick out some flowers for Papa. Is that okay, Daddy?"

Harry closed his eyes and hung his head as he nodded. After a few seconds, he heard the door closed.

~~~~

Ron called Harry after they ate breakfast and asked him if he and Andrea could drop by at the Burrow later this afternoon since it was Joshua's, Ron and Hermione's eldest child, birthday. Harry said they would follow but he and Andrea had to go see Draco.

"I understand, Harry." Ron's voice was soft.

"It's our anniversary and I have to see him. Hope you don't mind."

"Of course not!" Ron almost shouted. "That's fine. Take your time. Oh, can you also bring your Firebolt? I wanted to show it to Joshua since he speaks highly of you, you know."

Harry laughed softly. "Okay. I think I placed it in the attic. I will bring it, don't worry."

"Okay, mate. See you then."

"Bye."

"Bye," then Ron hung up.

"Andrea?" Harry called when he got to her room but she wasn't there.

"I'm here, Daddy!" she called from outside. She was at the garden. "I'm just picking flowers for Papa."

Harry smiled at her as he peered through the window from her room. "Okay then sweetie. You'll be careful, all right? We'll be leaving in thirty minutes to see Papa."

"Okay, Daddy, I will," she replied cheerfully.

Harry decided to get the Firebolt before he took a shower. He went up to the attic; he looked around and saw the Firebolt. Once he got it, he knocked over a small box and the items in it scattered all over the floor.

Cursing to himself, he leaned the Firebolt against the wall and sat down on the floor. He took the box and carefully picked up the things that were inside of it. When he looked at the items, all of them were pictures of him and Draco.

He looked at each photograph before placing them back inside the box. The first picture he looked at was of him, lying on the grounds near the lake of Hogwarts, and was laughing silly. He remembered that this was taken just after their N.E.W.T. exams and Draco took this picture after he told a joke that Harry thought was hysterical.

The next one was a picture on their graduation day. It was Draco, Harry, Ron and Hermione, grinning wildly and waving. Then Ron suddenly lifted Hermione up and she began to hit his head. The third one was of him and Draco, and Harry remembered that Ron took this picture. It was the first time they moved in to the house where Harry is currently living. He built a house near his parents' house ruins, which Draco had asked him to.

The fourth one was when they adopted Andrea when she was still six-months old. Harry was holding Andrea and was waving her small baby arms to the camera. The next one was Draco and Andrea sleeping on the couch, after a week they had adopted her. Harry stared at the picture and he noticed how peaceful and touching they looked. Andrea had her chest on Draco's and Draco had his arms wrapped around her. Harry remembered that he took this picture after he came home from Ireland. He was the Seeker in England's Quidditch team and had quit a year ago.

The next one was of him, Draco and five-year old Andrea in a room in St. Mungo's. Harry looked intently at the photograph and he could see a thin plastic tube that was attached to Draco's wrist. He ran his forefinger on the picture and couldn't believe that Draco was still beautiful even only wearing a white over-large plain cloth.

He didn't notice that tears were forming in his eyes as a stab of pain hit his chest while looking at this picture. He furiously gathered all the pictures from the floor, placed them in the box and threw the box on the corner, making the pictures scattered on the floor again.

Harry began to shake as he sobbed. He placed his hands on his face and cried loudly. It was his first time to cry like this again. He tried not to cry but he couldn't help himself. Seeing all the pictures of Draco and him, all those wonderful and painful memories, broke his wall that he built inside of him and began to cry out all the pain that he had kept. He didn't realize that he was crying so loud and didn't hear Andrea coming.

Andrea hugged his head. "Daddy? Please don't cry. Please don't," she whimpered as she petted his hair.

Harry found Andrea and hugged her tightly. She was standing and Harry was crying on her little body.

Andrea hushed him and smoothened his hair. "Please Daddy, don't cry." Her voice was cracking. "Papa doesn't want to see you cry. He doesn't want us to cry. Remember? We promised him that we wouldn't?"

Harry took a deep breath and looked at his daughter. "I'm sorry sweetie, but I miss Papa so much."

Andrea wiped Harry's tears using her little hands and looking at him with sadness in her eyes. "That's okay, Daddy. I miss Papa too."

They hugged once more and Harry cried. Andrea closed her eyes as she was hushing him until Harry's breathing was normal.

"Daddy?" Andrea asked softly.

"Yes, sweetie?" he asked as he tried to find his voice.

"Can I keep that?" she pointed to something on the floor.

Harry looked as to where she was pointing and it was a picture of him, Draco and Andrea. He suddenly had a flashback of the picture. It was when they went to a fair near London more than a year ago, and just had their face painted for fun. Draco's face was a cat, Harry's was a dog and Andrea's was a mouse. The picture was moving and it showed that Draco was clawing in the air, Harry was barking at Andrea and she was laughing uncontrollably.

Harry picked the picture up and gave it to Andrea. "You can keep it, sweetie," he said as he wiped his tears from his face.

"Thank you, Daddy," Andrea said as she placed the picture in her back pocket.

Harry smiled at her. He rubbed her arms with his hands and said, "So, you're ready?" he sniffed. "Daddy's just going to take a quick shower, okay?"

Andrea nodded. Harry stood up, took the Firebolt, carried Andrea and left the attic, promising to himself that he wouldn't go to the attic without Andrea with him.

~~~~

"Hello Draco," Harry spoke as he sat down. He looked at where Andrea was and she was busily playing with a squirrel.

"I just wanted to greet you a happy twelfth year anniversary. Andrea's doing well at school and she's the top A student in her class," he spoke softly as he played with the grass on the ground.

He swiped a dried leaf that was sitting on the gravestone, placed a white candle and lit it. He then placed the flowers that Andrea picked earlier beside it. "Your angel picked these for you. She hopes that you like them. She told me that she had a hard time reaching for the lilies at our pond. But she tried her best to get them since she knows that lilies were your favorites."

Harry looked again for Andrea and saw her running around, trying to catch a butterfly.

"Oh Draco," Harry whispered as he broke down into tears, "I miss you so much." His body was now shaking and tears were flowing endlessly from his eyes. "I still can't accept that you're gone. I just wish I could see you again," he sobbed into his hands. "Even for a moment or for a second or a glimpse," he whispered as he tried to control his quivering lips and the cracking of his voice. "I just want to hear your voice," he choked, "or to touch your face once more," he looked up at Draco's name that was etched on the gravestone. "Oh god, Draco," he wrapped his arms tightly around him, embracing himself, "I love you so much. It hurts that I can't feel you anymore," he hung his head as he sobbed loudly. "Please Draco," he whispered, "please come back to me."

Andrea walked slowly towards Harry and hugged him. "Daddy?" she whimpered. "Please don't cry. Papa told us not to cry when we visit him," she said as she hugged Harry tightly and controlled her tears.

Harry looked up at her. He tried to smile but he couldn't stop crying. He whispered, "I'm sorry sweetie," he said as he clipped a few strands of hair on her ear, "but Daddy misses Papa so much that it hurts."

"I know," Andrea said as she kissed Harry's forehead. "I miss Papa too, Daddy. That's why I'm going to leave a gift," she looked at the gravestone, "so Papa would never miss us," she said as she took out the picture from her back pocket. She sniffed while placing the picture slowly and neatly beside the flowers then sat down beside Harry. She bowed her head and played with her hands. Harry could see that she was trying hard not to cry.

"Andrea, that is so sweet of you," Harry choked as he hugged her.

They both hugged each other and cried. After a while, as they wiped their tears off, they sat quietly and admired the photograph on Draco's grave.

The End