Winter

Winter

By fbline

No one's saying anything. We're all just sitting around, staring. It's hard to believe that just a few hours ago I was sleeping in my bed back at school, my greatest worry getting my Transfiguration paper done on time. It seems like a life time ago now. Fred and George were as lost as I was. Professor McGonagall came sweeping in to grab the three of us. I really started to worry then. I always thought that nothing bothered those two. They always laughed stuff off. They weren't laughing now. I cried like I was a child again. I didn't even know exactly what was going on, McGonagall didn't tell us very much. She told us to put on our robes and follow her. Fred asked where Ron was. McGonagall didn't answer. I thought that must have been what was wrong. Something had happened to Ron. I never imagined it was you. I wouldn't have let myself think that. Fred kept asking, and she finally told us that there was, "reason to believe that our father had been injured." My greatest fear was now confirmed. I tried to be strong, but I just couldn't. Fred and George couldn't either; we all just looked at one another. It was like we were all in a terrible dream we couldn't wake up from.

I wasn't surprised to see Harry with Ron in Dumbledore's office. He's practically a part of the family now. I guess that just makes my feelings for him all the more inappropriate. The knots in my stomach unclenched a little when I saw him. He'd saved the day so many times before; surely he'd save us now. Ron was a complete basket case. I don't think he wanted to believe any of it was really happening. Dumbledore knew that Umbridge would find out we were missing and wanted to get us out of there as soon as possible. Even he looked worried. I never thought he got worried either. It seemed I was growing up all in one night.

Snow can wait

I forgot my mittens

wipe my nose

get my new boots on

I get a little warm in my heart when I think of

winter

I put my hand

in my father's glove

Grimmauld Place seemed even gloomier than before when we showed up this time. The cold stone floor seemed more like a dungeon then the place where I had been throwing butterbeer corks for Crookshanks to find. I thought I might feel better, being away from the school, but it didn't seem to help. I still felt so confused. I wished mom were there. She always knew what to do. None of us seemed to be able to do anything.

Harry explained to the rest of us what he had seen in his vision. I think Ron still wanted it all to be a dream. In his mind you were still at the Burrow, safe and sound. We all knew it was true though. I had been possessed by Voldemort. I knew that he was capable of anything, and I knew that there was some kind of bond between himself and Harry. We all looked so vulnerable, standing there in our night clothes. I couldn't let the thought of you dying into my mind. I couldn't handle that. You were going to be okay. You had to be. I needed you to be.

I run off

where the drifts get deeper

sleeping beauty

trips me with a frown

I hear a voice

"you must learn to stand up

for yourself cause I can't always be around."

Sirius wasn't much better than we were. I think he liked having someone to take care of. Fred and George were a little shirty with him, but he understood that they were just upset. We all wanted answers, and there were none to give. Ron still wasn't talking. He liked playing the older brother with me, but I know he was just as frightened as I was. I could tell Harry didn't know how to feel either. It seemed like he felt guilty for some reason, like he was partially to blame for all this. I should have told him that nobody blamed him, but at the time I was too scared to say anything to anyone.

I thought back to when I was growing up. I remember feeling jealous of all my older siblings. One by one they all went off to Hogwarts, leaving little Ginny behind. I always felt like I was being left out of everything. Charlie was the big Quidditch hero, Bill and Percy were head boys, Fred and George were always getting into something, and Ron was best friends with the most famous wizard in the world. Then there was me, little Ginny. You used to tell me I was your favorite. I didn't realize until I was about eight that you told us all that we were your favorite. I remember you telling me bedtime stories, how you used to enchant the windows to look like a sunny day outside during storms, and telling me the thunder was just the ghoul upstairs, dancing. In your arms I felt safe from everything. I would have given anything for you to be holding me now.

he says

when you gonna make up your mind?

When you gonna love you as much as I do?

When you gonna make up your mind?

Cause things are gonna change so fast

all the white horses are still in bed

I tell you that I'll always

want you near

you say that things change

my dear

I remember how worried you were after my first year, when I had been taken by Voldemort into the Chamber of Secrets. You must have felt then like I do now, helpless. I still remember the look on your face when we all come through Dumbledore's office door. You gave me a telling off about telling the diary so much, about letting it into my mind, but I knew what you were really feeling. You couldn't wipe the tears from your eyes quick enough. You hugged me the way you used to when I was little and had a bad dream. That time it was different though, it hadn't been a dream. You were scared for my life. Now I know what that's like.

Even the butterbeer can't warm me up. Now we're all just sitting around the table, waiting for something to happen. Fred and George are still mad about not being allowed to go to St. Mungo's. I know they realize that Sirius is right about it being a bad idea, but that doesn't help them feel any better about it. I know they're just scared, and don't know how to deal with it. Ron's got his head in his hands and isn't moving. You'd think he was sleeping, but I can hear him sobbing. I know he wouldn't want anyone to know though, so I don't look at him. Harry and I are the only ones with our heads up. I have to confess that my feelings for him haven't changed. He's just so...strong. Not just in the physical sense, but in every sense. I'm trying to be strong too, strong for both of you.

boys get discovered as winter melts

flowers competing for the sun

years go by and I'm still here waiting

withering where some snowman was

mirror mirror where's the Crystal Palace

but I only can see myself

By the time that mom showed up, we were all desperate for something to happen. She said that you were going to be ok. My insides felt like they had thawed out. We were all so relieved. Fred started to cry, I'd never seen him do that. George and I both ran over and hugged mom as hard as we could. It was like three years ago all over again, I had been given a second chance at life. I guess this made my third chance now. Harry and Ron just looked at one another. I guess they're close enough friends that they don't even need to speak to communicate. Sort of like you and me.

Sirius went back to being the happy host. He and mom may have had their differences, but that situation seemed to bring them to a new understanding. We were all in this together, and to get through it we would have to stay that way. I don't think food ever tasted as good as that breakfast did, even if it was hastily put together. I couldn't imagine ever feeling happier than I did at that moment. You were going to be fine, we were a family again.

skating around the truth

who I am

but I know dad

the ice is getting thin

hair is grey and the fires are burning

so many dreams

on the shelf

you say I wanted you to be proud of me

I always wanted that myself

Seeing you sitting up and reading the Daily Prophet the next day made the whole thing real for me, it seemed to bring a closure that I needed to happen. I saw with my own eyes that you were alive and well. Mom and I were the first to reach you. I remember mom gave you a kiss on the cheek, and you gave me a hug. I don't think I said much for a while after that. I was too busy preserving the memory in my mind. I can still bring it back, crystal clear. You were indestructible again, my hero. My fears slipped away like leaves in a stream. I was reminded of how much I love you, and how much I know you love me.

Today's Christmas day. We're all going to be visiting you later, after we open our presents and have lunch. I've already had my best present though, knowing that you're going to be ok. Everyone seems to be enjoying the holiday, even Harry. After we visited you at St. Mungo's he distanced himself from all of us. He seemed to think that he was partly responsible for what happened to you. He thought he had been under the power of Voldemort. I told him he was being stupid. I reminded him that I had been the one possessed by the Dark Lord, and that whatever his connection was with him, it wasn't the same thing. So much is going on right now. I've had to come to terms with your mortality, and about my feelings for Harry. I guess you are the two most important men in my life right now. There is one major difference though between the two of you. I don't know what the future holds for Harry and me, whether we'll ever be more than we are now or not. But I am sure of you. You'll always be my hero. I know that, whatever may come, you'll be there for me. I'll be seeing you soon, dad. Hurry home.

he says

when you gonna make up your mind?

When you gonna love you as much as I do?

When you gonna make up your mind?

Cause things are gonna change so fast

all the white horses have gone ahead

I tell you that I'll always want you near

you say that things change

my dear