You Can Close Your Eyes

You Can Close Your Eyes

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Ron's asleep. That's just as well, he needs his rest. You can still make out the marks where the tendrils from that brain wrapped around him. I'll just have to go down to see Hermione on my own. I don't know what I'd do if it weren't for my invisibility cloak and the Marauder's Map. I don't fancy running into Filch tonight, that's for sure. Neville's asleep, too. I still can't get over how much he's changed this year. I would have never thought he'd hold his own against a group of Death Eaters. He would have really made his grandmother proud. Well, its past midnight now, the common room should be emptied out by now.

Yep, there's nobody here but Dobby. I'd stop and say hello, but I don't really have time for that right now. I like walking around the castle at night like this, it's just so peaceful. I could use some peace right now, too. These last few weeks have been anything else but. I still have nightmares of that night at the Ministry. I was the reason they got hurt. When that curse hit Hermione, I thought my world was ending. I just kept thinking to myself, "not Hermione, not because of me!" I'm glad Neville was to himself enough to check her pulse; I was convinced that the Death Eater had killed her. And then there was Sirius. How can you die, just by falling through a veil? Why couldn't he have just fall through the other side and still be alive? How many more people must die because of me? It could have been anybody falling through that archway, why did it have to be Sirius? No, nobody deserves that, I guess. What if it had been Hermione? I don't think I could have taken that, either. I have to push all of this out of my mind now; Hermione doesn't need me to add to her misery.

I'm in luck; Madam Pomfrey must have dropped off to sleep in her office. I'll be able to take of my invisibility cloak now. I sometimes feel like the hospital wing is my second home. I seem to end up here every year at least once. I think Hermione has me beat, though. Between turning herself into a cat, and getting petrified, she spent most of our second year here. I can see where she'd be lonely, with Ron gone; she's the only person in here. I don't think I've ever heard it so quiet in here. She's still not sleeping. I know she says that it's because of the pain in her chest, but I know her well enough to know that it's more than that. Walking towards her, I can see that she's lost in thought. She looks so small and vulnerable, lying there with her mind a million miles away. She didn't even notice my approaching until I sat down beside her. She smiles when she sees me, and I can see her eyes light up. We'll have to keep our voices down, but that doesn't matter. We don't need many words to communicate with one another anymore.

"Harry!" She says, in a loud whisper. "I'm so glad you came. I haven't been able to sleep. Madam Pomfrey is afraid to give me a sleeping potion; for fear that it might interfere with some of the others that I'm taking for the curse damage. How are you doing?

"I'm ok, I guess. I really miss you, Hermione." And, just as I did during that second year when she was petrified, I took hold of her hand. At that time it was like holding a weight, but now there was warmth, and now it was able to hold mine back. I smiled as she smiled at me, not realizing that it was the first smile I had since Sirius had died.

"Listen, Hermione, I want to tell you something. I just want to say that I'm sorry you got hurt because of me. You were right; I fell for Voldemort's trap and could have gotten you all killed, just like I did with Sirius. When I think of what could have happened to you if that Death Eater had been able to..."

But my words were cut off by Hermione's lips upon mine. The shock of this causes me to emit a surprised yelp that caused Madam Pomfrey to snort in her sleep, but she then merely resituated herself and fell back into a doze. No longer tired myself, I drew back from the unexpected kiss and looked at Hermione. She was blushing, and seemed to look rather pleased with herself.

"Harry, you don't have anything to apologize for. Not to me, not to anyone. Do you think I would have rather seen you get hit by that curse instead? No, never. I would give my life for you, Harry, just as I know you would do so for me. I did have reservations about going to the Ministry, but you have to know that I would go anywhere you had wanted. I would willingly go into the pits of hell, if you asked me to."

Hermione placed her hands on the sides of my face and I could feel the warmth of her hands flow through me, defrosting the ice that had formed around my heart.

"The death of Sirius isn't your fault, either. Nor was the death of Cedric last year. Voldemort is responsible for all of these deaths, and many more like them. No one blames you, Harry. And you shouldn't be blaming yourself."

I listened to her words. The things she said were making me feel better. I knew I shouldn't dwell on depressing things, but my life seemed to be so full of them. I couldn't dwell on them now, however. I could still feel the moisture on my lips from her kiss. What had she done that for? She had kissed me before, at the end of last year, but that was on the cheek. This seemed like more than just a kiss between friends, but was it?

"Hermione, there's something else we need to talk about. This is going to be hard, so please, let me say it all before I lose my nerve. The reason I was so scared when you got hit with that curse in the Department of Mysteries, is because I thought I had lost you. It made me really think of how I really feel about you. Every since we first met one another at the start of first year, you've been my closest friend in the world. Everything I've managed to do against Voldemort is because you've helped me."

Hermione made to interrupt, but I pressed on ahead.

"If it wasn't for you, I could have never been able to save the Sorcerer's Stone, or know it was a Basilisk in the Chamber of Secrets, or been able to save Sirius and Buckbeak, or gotten through all those obstacles last year, or managed to get to the Department of Mysteries this year. When I think about my life, there seems to be two parts to it. The first part is everything before you, and I can't stand to think about that. The second part is everything that has happened since I've met you, and these are the best times of my life. I can't imagine life without you now, and I don't want to. So, I guess what I want to say, Hermione, is that...I love you." I took my hand out of her grasp and looked at the stone floor, afraid of what reaction she may have had to my words, "I don't expect you to say anything in return, and I know that you love Ron, but I felt like I had to say..."

I was silenced again in the same manner as before. I did not emit the same noise this time, and instead closed my eyes and returned the kiss given to me. It was Hermione's turn to pull back now.

"Harry, if I knew that getting hit by a curse would get you to open up to me like this; I would have done one on myself a long time ago." Hermione grinned when she spoke, and I found myself grinning with her. "You have to realize Harry that you aren't alone in how you are feeling. Don't you think that meeting you that first day was the greatest day of my life as well? Don't you think that what I did to help you only counted for so much, but that you had to do those things for yourself in the end? My life has three parts to it, Harry. The first part is the life before you, and I don't want to think of that, either. The second part is everything since I met you, but the third part is the best one of all. The third part, is the rest of my life with you, because that's what I want most of all. I don't want to think about life without you either Harry, and we don't have to."

Hermione raised my chin up so that I could look into her eyes, I could see the traces of tears on her cheeks. "You're right, Harry, I do love Ron. I love him like the sweet, caring, and infuriating big brother I never had." Hermione chuckled at this and wiped the dampness from her cheeks. "But with you, Harry, my love is like the sun in the sky. I couldn't live without it, and I wouldn't want to. I know that we're only fifteen and that you've got so many responsibilities on your shoulders, but hearing you say you love me, and knowing how much I love you, it makes me..."

What it made her, I never found out. I had decided to take a page out of her own book and kissed her this time. She didn't make a noise either, and I discovered that kissing her certainly got better with practice. "Hermione, I do love you, and I can't tell you hoe happy I am to hear you say you love me too. But right now, you need to focus on getting well. And you can't very well regain your strength if you can't get to sleep. Isn't there something that can be done to help?"

I ran my fingers through her hair as she closed her eyes to my touch. "Well, there is one thing." Hermione answered with a wry smile. "When I was a little girl, my father used to sing me to sleep. That always used to help me. I don't suppose you remember any of the songs your parents used to sing to you do you, Harry?"

"Actually, when I was taking those Occlumency lessons with Snape I remember hearing my father singing a song to get me to sleep. It was really beautiful. Do you want to hear it?" I asked.

"Oh yes, please! I don't know if it will help or not, but I'd love to hear you sing to me." Hermione said, eagerly.

"Ok, but I never claimed to be any kind of singer, so be warned.

Well the sun is surely sinking down

But the moon is slowly rising

So this old world must still be spinning around

And I still love you

So close your eyes

You can close your eyes it's all right

I don't know no love songs

And I can't sing the blues anymore

But I can sing this song

And you can sing this song

When I'm gone

It won't be long before another day

We gonna have a good time

And no one's gonna take that time away

You can stay as long as you like

So close your eyes

You can close your eyes it's all right

I don't know no love songs

And I can't sing the blues anymore

But I can sing this song

And you can sing this song

When I'm gone

When I had finished the song, I looked over at Hermione. Her eyes were closed, and her breathing was slow and rhythmic. We will have a lot to talk about, but that can all wait. For now, all I want to do is watch her sleep.