Just Getting By

Just Getting By

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I must look really miserable, even Fred and George are being nice to me. Well, I can't help it, I am miserable. I know I shouldn't be, but damn it, I'm tired of always being in your shadow.

You knew how much I wanted to get my name into the Goblet, how much I could use that thousand galleons. It wouldn't mean anything to you; you've already got more money than my entire family will ever see. How did you get your name in there, and why did you do it? You're always saying how much you wished you could just be a regular person, but is that really true? Maybe Snape is right about you; maybe you do want all the attention. You didn't even have the decency to tell me how you got your name in there. What else have you lied to me about, and what about Hermione? Do the two of you keep me around as some kind of charity case?

Look at me; I'm the one who got away

The one who could've shone,

I tried to do my best but

I guess your best don't last for long.

Just how long have you been lying to me? I remember when we first met on the train, back at the start of first year. You said you didn't know anything about why you were so famous, but how could you not have? Hermione did, and she's a Muggle born. I actually felt a little superior to you after that, since you didn't know anything about the magical world. I didn't even think about your money back then. We were mates, that's what I cared about. After Hermione joined up with us, it seemed like you were both extensions of my own family. I know I would have certainly traded Percy for either of you.

The end of that year is what seemed to take our friendship to a whole new level for all three of us. We all played a hand in saving the Sorcerer's Stone from Voldemort, but you would have never made it past that Chess game without me. I was the one who got knocked out, not you. Now that I was out of the way, you and Hermione could go on, together. You'd still be stuck in that room if it hadn't been for Hermione telling you which potion to drink, or maybe you would have ended up drinking the poison. No, I guess I didn't mean that. You were the big hero after that, just like you are now.

Look at me standing with my tattered pride

Of toothless little lions

We tried to make a difference

Do something no one else had tried

That summer, you came to the Burrow for the first time. I could tell you were amazed by the place, even if it was rather pathetic. I let myself feel a superior to you again after that. You told me you'd give all the money you had to have the family I did. You didn't realize that you were a part of the family already. Mum and Dad have always looked at you like one of their sons, except that you don't get yelled at like we all do. The rest of us looked at you are a brother, everyone except Ginny, of course. I thought her crush on you was funny. Fred and George teased her about it all the time. I never imagined that her feelings for you would get her into so much trouble.

Hermione wasn't with us that time. It was just you and me against Voldemort. Yet again, I could only go so far. If it wasn't for that idiot, Lockhart, it would have been you and me both against him and that Basilisk. I wasn't even able to save my little sister. You did though. I was so relieved to see you both alive that I didn't care about everyone calling you the hero again. Yeah, I got a few claps on the back, but even mum and dad thanked you for saving Ginny, not me. I was the side kick again, and you were the big hero.

But if you see me walking and you're wondering why,

Well, it's just the business of life

If you're not getting lucky

You're just getting by

Last year you ran off before we could even come get you. Everyone was so worried about you, I didn't know the full extent of why at the time, and I just thought they were afraid of Voldemort getting to you. I hadn't even heard the name Sirius Black. Dad told us you were staying the rest of the summer at the Leaky Cauldron. I was so jealous; I would have loved to spend a few weeks there, just hanging around Diagon Alley all day. Instead, I was back home, with a house full of people. Hermione came to visit though. She was all concerned about you as well. Even when you weren't around, you were the only thing people wanted to talk about.

At least we didn't have to face off against Voldemort last year. Naturally though, I came out the worst when we did get in that scrap with Sirius. My leg still hurts when the weather gets damp. It was up to you and Hermione again. All I could manage to do was lie on the bed and groan. And then I was laid up in the Hospital wing, while the two of you were saving Sirius and Buckbeak. Once again, I was out of the picture while you were being the hero. It was becoming just you and Hermione more and more. I bet you loved that.

Look at me, is it written on my face

The luxuries I've known?

Am I a foreign presence someplace that used to be my home?

I'd wanted to see the Quidditch World Cup for as long as I can remember. When Dad said he had gotten tickets, my first thought was to invite you. I knew you loved Quidditch as much as I did, and you wouldn't be able to go otherwise. It was the first chance I'd had to do something for you for a change. You had to do something though, didn't you? Three pairs of Omnioculars, did it feel good to you to blow what Dad makes in a month on things that we'd probably only use once? You just couldn't pass up a chance to look like a big man around Hermione. I didn't see her try and pay you back with the Leprechaun gold. You two probably had another way planned out for her to repay you.

I have to hand it to you; I was as surprised as anyone when your name came out of the Goblet of Fire. You did a great acting job, pretending you didn't know how your name got in there. Hermione may have bought all that, but I bloody well didn't. Is that why you did it, to impress her? I don't know why you bothered really; she's obviously in love with you. What's the matter, Ginny not good enough for you anymore? And what's the deal with Cho? Are you planning on making your way through all the girls in the school? You laughed at me for how I looked at Fleur, are you pulling her now too? I bet you all have a good laugh about us lesser people. I can't believe I risked my life for you all those times. It isn't fair, when do I get something for it all?

So if you see me walking, just a regular guy

Well, it's just the business of life

If you're not getting lucky

You're just getting by

I'm glad Fred and George invited me along with them today, I needed to get away from the castle for a while. I wish I could get a little something stronger than butterbeer though. At least you aren't around. I imagine that Skeeter woman has you scared to come out. A lot of the other students are made at you as well; they think you're an attention seeking little tosser as well. Cedric should be the only one for us to cheer for. The three of us should all be sitting around talking about the tournament. Instead, we aren't even speaking to one another. I'll be damned if I'm going to come to you though. You lied to me, lied to your best friend. You have to know how wrong that is. I never imagined that we could end up this way; after all we've been through.

Hey, there's Hermione. I think I'll call her over. I haven't talked to her in a long time. Not really since you and I had our falling out. Wait, why does she have two butterbeers with her? Oh, I get it; she's not alone after all. You must have your invisibility cloak on. It figures. I know that you two have been spending a lot of time together. I saw her nick some toast the other day at breakfast; I knew she was getting it for you. Must be nice, having someone bring you breakfast in bed. My not being around has probably been a big help for the two of you. I see where I stand now. I'm used to being the third wheel by now, since I've been one for four years now. I should just go over there and tell you what I really think of you, but you'd like me to do that, wouldn't you? Make me act like even more of an idiot in front of Hermione. No, I'll just ignore you both. Damn, it's no good. I've got to get out of here.

"Fred, George, let's go."

In that weightlessness that comes with good luck

The one thing you don't expect

Is feeling the drop.

Look at me; I'm the one who got away

And then came crawling back

I tried to do my best but

I guess I never had the knack

So if you see me walking, just a regular guy

Well, it's just the business of life

If you're not getting lucky

You're just getting by