In The Frame

In The Frame

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Dear Cho:

I'm not sure how to start this. I've never done a letter like this before. I suppose I should start off by asking how you are doing. How is your summer going? Done anything interesting? I spent the first couple weeks back with my relatives, but I left there a couple days ago and am staying somewhere else now. Since moving, I'm a lot happier. Living with the Dursleys is horrible, but until I graduate I have to stay there. Anyway, I didn't write you to give to the startling news that I don't care much for my relatives. I wrote to tell you something important, so here goes.

I'm currently staying with Hermione and her parents. I usually go stay with Ron's family towards the end of the summer, but Hermione asked me to stay with them this year, so here I am. I can guess how you feel about this arrangement. I know you don't like Hermione, and I should tell you that we talked about you when I first got here. I wanted to know if she could understand why you didn't like her, and if she did, could she explain it to me. I thought she may not have known that you didn't care for her, but she seemed to have known all along. She told me the reason was rather obvious, but I still didn't understand. She told me that you were jealous of her about the relationship we have with one another. When I finally understood that, I knew I had to write to you and tell you what's really going on. I want to clear this up before school starts again.

Put me in your pocket now

Put me in your dress

I will remain the one

You loved best

Don't try to rip me up

If I hurt you when

Everything is fouled up at the end

You have to understand some things first though. When I first found out that I was a wizard, I couldn't understand what that really meant. Having been brought up by the two biggest Muggles the world has ever seen, anything other than "normal" was forbidden. Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon don't even let me watch EastEnders. They keep telling me it's a show for communists. From the moment that Hagrid took me to Diagon Alley for the first time, I was transplanted into a whole new world where I didn't know anyone or anything. I was so scared that I would be a failure, afraid that I'd be sent back to the Dursleys so that they could torment me the rest of my miserable life. Fortunately for me, I met two people on the train that helped me out of my anxiety; Ron and Hermione. I had never had any friends before, my cousin Dudley had made sure of that, so the two of them meant a great deal to me, and I came to rely on them more and more. Ron was the brother I never had, and Hermione was like a sister, or at least what thought a sister would be like, having only grown up with Dudley I never got an understanding of females in any regard. Of course, you could have guessed that after last year.

By the end of that first year, the three of us had been thorough more than most adult wizards, and we were still only eleven. We had all risked our lives for one another, and because of that the three of us went from being friends to something more, something deeper. When we had saved the Sorcerer's Stone from Voldemort, it was like a spotlight shined on us, and it's never turned off since. At the end of that year we all went our separate ways, but in truth we've been together all along. It's almost like we're three separate people, but at the same time one person. I know it all sounds rather biblical, but that's the best way I know of to describe it.

Let me always stay now

Laughing as you say how

Do I always look like I'm in pain?

And you always get your finger in the frame

When the second year started, I felt more comfortable with wizard life. I had spent the last few weeks of the summer vacation with Ron's family and had high hopes for the year ahead. I would have never guessed that I would have to deal with Voldemort again so soon, or that Ron, Hermione, and I would be risking our lives for one another again. Oh, and on top of that, Ginny had a massive crush on me. Since I looked at Ron as a brother, I guess I came to look at Ginny as a little sister. Again, I had no experience with girls and had no idea she had any different of feelings toward me. Tom Riddle took advantage of those feelings, and that's how she Chamber of Secrets came to be opened.

Once again, the three of us were called upon to save the day. As it was the year before, we all had to work together if we wanted to defeat Voldemort. And, just as it was last time, it was up to me alone in the end. I don't know how I had managed to escape death at his hands three times; it all just seemed like a huge stroke of luck. After we got Ginny out of the Chamber and everything had returned to normal, the three of us discovered that we were even closer than before. Who knows, maybe we were even a little cocky. We had survived twice now, and it seemed like nothing could defeat us as long as we were together.

Put me in your bottom drawer

Under old exams

There I will always be your

Cheating hand

Everything changed again that next year. I was sick of being stuck with my relatives so I ran away. At the time, I didn't have any idea of where to go, or how I would get there. I didn't know that the Ministry was watching me closely either. They thought that I was the target for a supposed murderer that had escaped from Azkaban. Fudge was there the instant I got off the Knight Bus. It wasn't until I overheard Ron's parents talking to one another that I found out about Sirius, and how the Ministry was trying to get to him before he got to me. That whole year was spent trying to find out what was going on, and who Sirius was, and why he wanted me dead. I thought he had killed my parents, and so did everyone else.

As it turned out, Sirius hadn't killed anyone, but that he had never been given the chance to prove his innocence. He had spent all those years in Azkaban for a crime he did not commit. When the three of us found out that he was innocent, we knew we had to find a way to save him. It was different this time though; Ron was injured and couldn't help us. It was just Hermione and me this time, and although we weren't fighting Voldemort this time, we had to risk our lives yet again. You can't imagine what it's like to come up against a hundred dementors. It only took one of them to knock me out at the beginning of the year, and a few more to do the same at the Quidditch match against Hufflepuff. This time it was a hundred, enough to suck the life out of the entire castle. Sirius was down, as was Hermione, and it was up to me alone to save us all. How I was able to create the Patronus to drive them all away is still something that is beyond me, I just knew that I had to do something to save them. They would have taken our souls, a fate worse than death.

Don't try to send me back

In some maudlin phase

What has developed here

You can't erase

Do you see now why my friendship with Hermione is so difficult to explain, how it's different than any normal kind of relationship? We had been through more than most fully trained wizards, and we were still in school. When our fourth year started, I had given up thinking that it would go peacefully. I wouldn't kid myself like that again. Did I ever tell you that Ron actually thought at first that I really had put my own name in the Goblet of Fire? For a long time we didn't speak to one another because of it. The only person who stuck by me was Hermione. Ron came around eventually, and the three of us were back together again. They helped me get through the challenges of the Triwizard tournament, just like they had been helping me since that first day we met on the train. I had the two of them, Cedric had you.

When I came out of that maze with Cedric, everything seemed to happen at once. I was dragged away from everyone, only to have my life threatened again by a Death Eater we had all thought was Professor Moody. I know it was devastating when Cedric died, but please believe me when I tell you that I was devastated by it too. My parents died to protect me, but Cedric had nothing to do with anything, except that he stood between Voldemort and me. I was in a state of shock after that. If it weren't for Ron and Hermione, I think I would have gone mad. They helped me get through the worst of it. I wish I could have done the same for you, but I couldn't help anybody. Everything was just too much for me right then.

Let me always stay now

Laughing as you say how

Do I always look like I'm in pain?

And you always get your finger in the frame

This past year has gone by in a flash it seems. I sometimes wonder what could have happened if I had been expelled after all. Sirius might still be alive, and maybe you would have found somebody else who could have been what you needed them to be. Remember when you saw me the first time last year, on the train covered in stinksap? Who would have guessed that would have been one of the better times we had? I was scared to talk to you, not just because I was nervous about my feelings for you, but also because I didn't know if you felt like I was responsible in some way for what happened to Cedric. If you hadn't have been the one to kiss me that night after the DA meeting, I would have probably never gotten the nerve to ask you out for Valentine's Day. I'm really sorry it turned out so badly. I don't think I apologized for that before. I really am sorry, I didn't know what to do or say. I cared about you, but I didn't know who to tell you. Instead, I managed to mess everything up and pushed you away for good.

It was our last conversation we had that got me thinking, and led me to write you this letter. I'm still not sorry for saying that Marietta deserved what she got, because I still think she did, but I should have been more respectful of your feelings. She was your best friend and you were sticking up for her, I would have done the same. It was when you brought up Hermione that I lost my head completely. You called her "darling Hermione", and I took that as a direct insult for some reason. I didn't understand why it bothered me so much, but it felt like you had insulted my family. I guess it's because that is what Hermione is to me. I remember yelling at you, and then you were running away from me again. This seems to be the pattern for us now. I guess that's when I knew that what we had, whatever it had been, was over.

So maybe all these fights will never happen

Maybe nothing's going to change

Maybe I'll be always laughing

Nothing standing in the way

Nothing clouding up the future

Not the faintest threat of rain

Nothing clouding up the picture

But a finger in the frame

Hermione wrote to me a few weeks ago and asked if I wanted to spend the rest of the summer with her and her parents. They weren't going abroad this summer, and with Ron's parents being busy with other things, I took her up on her offer. Hermione's parents are both dentists, sort of a Muggle version of a healer that specializes in teeth. Since Muggles can't just magic their teeth white, they need dentists to help keep their teeth from falling out. It really can happen! Anyway, Hermione's parents live in Knightsbridge, very near a store called Harrod's. You'd like Harrod's; it's sort of like a Muggle version of Diagon Alley, except that it's all under one roof. We spent the first few days walking around the neighborhood. Hermione's a lot different out of school than she is in school. I was amazed at what a shopper she is. I must have seen every square inch of Harrod's, which is really saying something. We also went to another store called Harvey Nichols. She also showed me around to some of the other sights as well. One night we went to a club in a part of London called Earl's Court. It was quite a place with some really interesting people. Hermione's parents were even able to get us tickets to a concert in Shepherd's Bush. The singers name was Bjork, and we managed to talk to her after the show. When she saw my scar, she said she knew who I was, and then she asked how Dumbledore was! It turned out that she is also the Professor of Transfiguration at the school of magic in Iceland. She told us the name, but it all sounded like clicks and buzzes to me. While we were there she even transfigured herself into a swan. It was wild! Hermione and I spent almost every minute together for weeks on end. I was afraid that I would end up getting on her nerves, but instead we didn't seem to be able to see enough of one another. We were both having the times of our lives, and then something happened. And that's why I'm writing you, because I feel I need to tell you.

I know that you'll be upset, I would be too. I never meant for anything to happen between Hermione and I, and nothing had ever happened before last night. I never meant to hurt you either. You must believe me when I say that me feelings for you were very real and that I still care about you and always will. I hope that, in time, we can be friends again. You are a beautiful, smart, caring woman, and any man would be lucky to have you. I can't be that man anymore, but there are plenty of men who would love to be. Maybe you were right, maybe Hermione and I were fated to be together, I don't pretend to understand fate or destiny. I wanted to tell you that I'm sorry. I'm sorry for hurting you yet again. I never meant to hurt you, ever. I know it's going to be awkward seeing each other next year. It may not be quite as bad though, I haven't heard if my ban from Quidditch has been lifted yet. I'm so sorry Cho. I know there's nothing I can do to make this up to you, but I hope you can forgive me someday. Take care of yourself Cho; I really hope that good things happen for you.

Always,

Harry

So put me in your the pocket of

This very dress

And I will remain the one

You loved best

And I will always stay now

Laughing as you say how

Do I always look like I'm in pain?

And you will always have your finger

In the frame