Hey Jupiter

Hey Jupiter

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I'm thinking about you again. It's not such a surprise since Hedwig won't stop snapping her beak and pinching my fingers. You must have told her to force me to write you. I knew this gag order from Dumbledore was a bad idea. I knew you'd want to know what's been going on.

I don't blame you. If I knew what was going on I'd tell you, but I really don't know anything either. All I know is that I was invited to spend the last few weeks of the summer with the Weasley's again. I hope I'll find out more soon. More than that though, I hope I'll see you.

But you're not thinking that way. You just want answers. Not more questions.

No one's picking up the phone

guess it's me and me

and this little masochist

she's ready to confess

all the things that I never thought

that she could feel and

It kills me not to tell you how I'm feeling, and to not know how you feel. I know you've got much more important things on your mind, hell, people are trying to kill you. My greatest fear is that they'll succeed somehow and I'll never be able to tell you how I feel.

I think about all the opportunities I've wasted. I should have told you that night we saved Sirius and Buckbeak, but I wasn't sure then. I thought it was a simple crush. And I know Ginny had feelings for you and I didn't want to hurt her. So, instead, I ended up hurting myself.

Hey Jupiter

nothings been the same

so are you gay

are you blue?

thought we both could use a friend

to run to

and I thought you'd see with me

you wouldn't have to be something new

I can't begin to tell you how scared I was those few months ago when you came out of the maze after the final task holding the Triwizard cup and Cedric. People were yelling about someone being dead and my world stopped moving. After I realized it was Cedric dead and not you, I actually felt happy. Does that make me a bad person? I was so relieved that you weren't the one who was dead I didn't care about anything else. I thought I'd lost you again.

I'm still amazed I didn't even meet you until a few years ago. I can't remember a time in my life without you in it. It's funny; I remember hanging around with you and Ron in those early days. I loved having the both of you to myself. "My boys" I used to think of you. I never thought it was strange that my best friends were boys. I knew you both so well that gender didn't seem to matter. Funny how things change.

Sometimes I breathe you in

and I know you know

and sometimes you take a swim

found your writing on my wall

if my hearts soaking wet

boy your shoes can leave a mess

I remember one time you joked that it would be funny if I ended up marrying Ron and you married Ginny. You said that way we'd all be related somehow. You laughed, I didn't. I knew you were only joking about Ginny's crush on you at the time, but it hurt me for some reason. I didn't know why then, but I guess I already knew how I really felt about you.

And then, last year, you started talking more and more about Cho. I was worried at first, but after she turned you down for the Yule ball and went with Cedirc, my heart rejoiced. I knew you were disappointed, but I also knew she was all wrong for you anyway. But then Ron made that comment about not wanting to end up with a troll and I thought maybe you were thinking the same thing. Maybe you thought I was a troll. I admit I was the one who asked Victor to go with me to the ball. I was angry and wanted to get back at you. Instead I only made Ron mad. Way to go Hermione.

Hey Jupiter

nothings been the same

so are you gay

are you blue?

thought we both could use a friend

to run to

and I thought I wouldn't have to keep

with you

hiding

I remember the day the Daily Prophet ran the story about you and I being a couple. I remember my elation turning to heartache when you said how ridiculous it was. You must have used the word "friend" a thousand times. And it wasn't just you. I remember the other girls thinking it was laughable that the two of us could be more than friends. Ginny didn't even get mad at me. Mrs. Weasly did though. She thought I'd broken your heart. She didn't know it was mine that was broken.

I know you've been trying to set Ron and I up. He may be slow to take a hint, but I'm not. You're the type of person who would be happiest at seeing your best friends happy together. I think you can't stand the thought of truly getting close to someone for fear of putting their life in danger. You couldn't bear that. But we've been in mortal danger many times; don't you see I'd risk anything to be with you? That I already have? And you still call me "friend." I gave you that kiss at the train station last time we were together. Were you thinking of me as a friend then?

Thought I knew myself so well

all the dolls I had

took my leather off the shelf

your apocalypse was fab

for a girl who couldn't choose between

the shower or the bath

and I thought I wouldn't have to be

with you

a magazine

I kept thinking these feelings would pass. I chalked it up to another Lockhart type of thing. But Lockhart turned about to be a fraud and you, well, you always came out the hero. You've saved me more times than I can count. If it weren't for you, the dementors would have stolen my soul. But in saving me, you stole my heart.

Ron just came in the kitchen to tell me a group had just gone out to get you and bring you here. At the sound of your name Hedwig has stopped pestering me and is now hooting happily and flying along behind Ron. I guess I won't be the only female happy to see you. I'm left alone in the kitchen again. I guess I'll go upstairs and wait for you to show up. It will be great to see you again. I'm not sure what I'll do when I finally do see you. I'll probably grab you and hold you tight against me, like I've wanted to do for so long. But that's as much as I can do for now. Someday though, I'd like to do so much more.

No one's picking up the phone

guess it's clear he's gone

and this little masochist

is lifting up her dress

guess I thought I could never feel

the things I feel

Hey Jupiter