Girl in the Picture

Girl in the Picture

By fbline

Well, the old place certainly looks better than it did last year at this time. I wasn't sure if you would keep Grimmauld Place or not, now that Sirius is gone. You were so happy when all the members of the Order pitched in to help clean the place up. The rest of us did our fair share as well, of course. I must confess that without Kreacher stalking around, the place is a lot cheerier. I'm just glad that mum and dad decided not to go abroad this year so I could come here early. It's not that I don't love staying with the Weasley's, but it's much harder to get you to myself with all of them around. They're all supposed to get here tomorrow, so my time is running short. I have to say something today. I cannot go through another year of keeping my feelings locked away. I can't keep wondering if everything you say to me has some kind of deeper meaning to it. I know that you care about me, but you care about a lot of people. How am I supposed to know who you care about the most?

You keep saying

"I love you"

"I do not"

And just like a daisy chain

I'm tied up in

"Why knots?"

Your vagueness

Discloses

Who you refuse

To be

If only this weren't such bad timing. I know Cho hurt you last year, not to mention the death of Sirius. There were so many times last year that you were so angry with everyone. I know Ron was really frustrated by the walls you were putting up around yourself. I wasn't just frustrated, I felt like a part of myself was dying. When I woke up in the hospital wing after our fight at the Ministry, I was sure that you were the one that had died. In my mind I recalled all the chances I'd had to tell you how I felt, and how I had wasted them all. I had told Sirius how I felt about you, and he had promised to help me tell you over the summer. I knew that I'd need support, and I knew how much Sirius cared about you as well. We never got the chance, though. Now I've got to try and do it on my own.

You dance me

In circles

You dip me to the ground

You give me your silence

All covered up in sound

You may ask yourself

Why I'm still waiting around

For you

I'm still not convinced that Ginny is over you. I know what she has said, but I've spent enough time with her to know that there's a lot more to, "Ron's little sister," than either of you give her credit for. She gains a lot of strength from her emotion, and a first love is always very emotional. I know you think it's funny that Ginny dates around a lot, and that Ron finds it all a big scandal. The truth is that she's looking for someone to fill the void you left in her heart. I know about that void, it's the same one I have.

When I'm still

Not the girl

In the picture

I'm still

Not the girl

In the picture

My plan last year failed miserably. Didn't you ever think it was odd that I kept writing letters to Viktor, and yet never got any in return? Do you think I'd write something so personal in the common room? Maybe if I soft pedaled it a little more, Ron wouldn't have worked himself up into whatever kind of feelings he has for me now. I don't think he knows I know about them. The perfume was a bit of a give away. Well, that, and the fact that Ginny had already told me. He should know better than anyone that you can't hope to keep a secret at the Burrow. Why can't it be you that has these feelings? Can't you see me as anything more than a brain with feet?

I'm in your bed

And I'm on your shelf

And I'm lying about seeing

Somebody

Somewhere else

You say that you miss me

What you're really missing

Is yourself

I wonder if you know that I kept a copy of the issue of The Daily Prophet that had Rita's article in it about you and I being a couple. I like to think of it as the way things should have been. Who do you think told Colin to tell Rita about us? I had to show the little pervert my bra strap to get him to tell her that. All you did was act like the idea was ridiculous. I played along, not wanting to let anyone see how much it hurt me to hear you say that. I blamed it all on Cho. If it wasn't for her, maybe my plan would have worked. You would have seen that you and I belonged together after all. At least it convinced Mrs. Weasley, I guess that's something.

And I'm still

Not the girl

In the picture

I'm still

Not the girl

In the picture

"Harry, could I talk to you? It's important." Well, here goes nothing. I'm just going to come right out and tell him how I feel. I'm very aware of my tongue right now.

"What's wrong, Hermione? You look a little like you're going to be sick," Harry asked, concern evident on his face.

"No, I'm fine. I'm just a little nervous. Harry, do you remember that kiss on the cheek I gave you at the station that time?" The butterflies in my stomach are turning into hippogriffs.

"Yeah, I do. I was a little surprised by it, actually. It was a nice surprise, though. It made me feel better about having to go back to Privet Drive," Harry said.

"Ok, do you remember when you and Ron weren't talking in fourth year, because he thought you had managed to put you name in the Goblet of Fire?" The hippogriffs were now turning into thestrals.

"How could I forget? I thought for a while there that Ron and I would never be friends again. If it weren't for you, we probably wouldn't be." Harry was looking more serious now.

"Right, and do you remember last Christmas when I came here to talk to you because you were withdrawing from everyone else in the house?" The thestrals were now turning into full size replicas of Grawp, dancing around inside my chest.

"Wow, yeah, I do. I was a real mess. I just wanted to get away from everyone and everything. I had convinced myself that I was some kind of extension of Voldemort. When you knocked on my door, I realized I wasn't alone. I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't come to save me." Harry now grabbed my hand and held it in his own.

"Harry, I love you." The words came out so quick; I didn't have time to give any kind of further lead up. The army of Grawps that had been slam dancing in my throat disappeared, and I was lucid for the first time since I had arrived at Grimmauld Place. Harry didn't say anything for a few minutes, nor did he let go of my hand. I decided that the time for wasting opportunities was behind me, and I leaned forward to deliver our first proper kiss, which I hoped would be one of many. It was at that moment that he broke his silence.

"Hermione, I...I...I don't know what to say."

I stopped leaning forward. He had let go of my hand and now looked into my eyes. I couldn't help but notice that his appeared to be a lot moister than I remembered them being a few minutes before. After another pause, he continued.

"I love you too, Hermione. And I don't mean like a best friend, or a brother, or anything like that. I've loved you since that night in the Department of Mysteries. When you got hit with that curse, I thought I'd lost you. In that moment, my whole life flashed before my eyes and I knew that I couldn't hope to carry on living without you. That's when I really knew I loved you." Harry was now letting his tears cascade down his cheeks to drop silently to the floor.

"But there's something you have to know. The prophecy really was destroyed that night at the Ministry, but I was still able to hear what it said. Dumbledore was the person that the prophecy was told to, and he told me what it was. My life can only end one of two ways. I will either kill, or be killed by, Voldemort. There is no other way." Harry now stared down at the droplets of water at his feet.

"I can handle this for myself, because my life has always been heading in this direction, but I cannot let you throw your life away as well. You've already risked your life too many times for me, and I cannot ask you to do it for the rest of your life. I'm sorry, Hermione. I just can't do it." Harry wiped his eyes now, still maintaining his gaze at the floor.

There's nothing running around inside me now, because there is no me left. Don't you realize that the reason I would risk my life willingly for you, is because without you I have no life? I have to make you understand this. I have to make you see that I don't care about any damn prophecy. All I care about is you.

"Harry, I..."

"Hello? Harry, Hermione, anybody here? We decided to come a day early. Where are you guys?"

It's Ron. You wipe your eyes and walk over to the door. You turn when you get to the hall way.

"I do love you, Hermione."

And, with that, you are walking downstairs to meet everyone. I can hear them all downstairs. You don't seem to be talking much. I can imagine what you're thinking about, though. Well, I guess I'd better get down there. I'm not giving up, I'll never do that, but to talk about it anymore tonight would be useless. We will talk again, Harry James Potter, you mark my words.

You ask me questions

About where I'll be in seven years

You want me to wait

And it drives me to tears

You make me

Think I must be insane

Investing myself

In your picture frame

And I'm still

Not the girl

In the picture

I'm still

Not the girl

In the picture