Moonlit Courage

Chapter Seven

Even with all of his being screaming at him to speak, Neville suddenly felt a great unwillingness to move come over him. He just wanted to stand here forever, drinking in the sight of Luna bathed in moonlight, nothing interrupting them, nothing revealing that the wizarding world was at war.

But then he thought of Ginny and Harry, and of his parents. What would have happened if Frank hadn't said anything to Alice? Would Neville be where he was right then?

Stop thinking. Just go!

"I wrote you a letter, sort of," he said abruptly, no prologue, nothing to start it off eloquently. He thought he could hear the silence shattering.

Luna turned so that she was facing him and cocked her head slightly to one side. Neville reached for his pocket, his fingers brushing his father's letter before closing around his own paper.

"Um... well, it's... for you. Describing how I... how I feel about you," he finished. Luna smiled at him and took the parchment. Neville could feel the blood draining from his face. There were so many ways to interpret this, most of them bad ways. He was a stupid idiot, nothing more than a lovesick fool who couldn't even-

"It's blank," Luna said calmly. She looked at him, her huge eyes peaceful, no doubt or anything in them. She trusted him enough to let him explain.

"The thing about it was... I couldn't find any words great enough to describe you. Luna, you're just... I'm..." Neville threw his hands up in the air.

It is said that the moonlight makes people do strange things, things they may or may not regret. There was no full moon that night, but Neville could feel himself leaning down to Luna's height and pressing his lips against hers.

It wasn't totally on her lips- Neville was slightly off and managed to kiss the corner of her mouth, but he was rather surprised he made it anyway near her face. He could feel her smile into him. The movement of her mouth made him jerk back quickly.

"Luna-" he gasped, very unsure of himself. He could picture his lion rolling on the floor, howling with mirth, and as long as he was going with similes, Luna looked like the man in the moon, beaming at him. Did he do something... right?

But Luna continued to stand there, grinning, although she wasn't looking at him anymore. Her eyes were focused on the great silver moon above them, reflecting the light like nothing Neville had ever seen. Maybe she was really uncomfortable, and this was her way of showing it?

"Luna," Neville took a shaky breath. "If it's not okay with you, I-"

Luna turned a little so that she was facing him again, and fixed her eyes on his. He swayed on the spot, caught off guard by those huge orbs.

"Thank you," she told him, then reached up and kissed him on the lips. It wasn't long, or strong, or anything outstanding, but Neville could have been blown off his feet if her hand hadn't snaked its way into his.

"For what?" he asked, like she hadn't ever kissed him, feeling a little confused.

"For kissing me!" she answered, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "I'm proud of you."

"Thank you," he said, grinning indecisively.

"For what?" she asked right back, staring up at him. He wasn't sure if she was playing or not. As he stood there contemplating this, he felt a tug on his hand and realized she was pulling him through the water towards the shore. He had entirely forgotten they were in the water.

She sat on the ground and looked up, waiting for him to make the next move. He scuffed his toe against the ground, his hands in his pockets, then out. He took a breath. He looked up at the sky. Then, with a sudden plummet, he dropped down right next to her and looked straight into her eyes.

"Luna, this- this is okay with you, right?" he asked quickly. "Because if it's not, or you don't like it, or you're feeling weird with it, just- say something and I swear I'll stop, because I don't want to hurt you, not ever-"

"Neville," she said, in a voice that could only be described as confused, "why wouldn't I be okay with it?"

"Well," Neville fumbled, "you might not have liked me back, or- or-"

Luna laughed and reassuringly patted Neville's hand. "Don't worry, I like you."

"Yes, but I wasn't sure-"

"Neville," Luna said, now very serious. "You don't give yourself enough credit."

"I know I don't, but-"

"You understand me."

Neville titled his head all the way back, extremely frustrated. "That's what Ginny told me! I- I'm really sorry, Luna, but I... I don't completely understand you. I'd like to think that I do, but... I don't."

Luna looked at him. Neville flushed. "I mean, I just... Luna, you're so complex, it's amazing... but that's a good thing, it's..." Neville sighed and ran a hand through his hair, "...wonderful."

"Thank you for coming down here tonight, Neville," Luna said, snuggling up to Neville, pressing herself against his side. He hesitated, then carefully, slowly, put an arm around her.

"You're... welcome."

"Think about what would have happened if you hadn't," Luna said, smiling faintly.

Neville frowned. "I'd rather not... dwell on the past." He felt like such a hypocrite. How long had he spent wishing his parents were healthy? How many times had he wished that the incident had never happened? He looked down at the girl next to him, who was tracing a circle on the ground. Didn't everything happen for a reason? Would he still be here, starving for love, if his parents hadn't faced Bellatrix? Would he still consider Luna to be the only one for him?

Luna didn't say anything. Neville couldn't believe the pressure he felt to tell the truth around her. "Actually, I do think about the past a lot," he admitted. "But it's not a good feeling. Sometimes I feel sick, and just wish I couldn't even think anymore. I know it's not healthy, but... I wonder."

"You just have to know where to draw the line," Luna told him gently. Neville knew that she always told the truth, and wasn't fazed by it, but this was a different kind of truth. This was just being totally open, exposed but not uncomfortable. It was a side of Luna that Neville hadn't really seen before. She had even freely told him the story of her creatures. He drew even closer to her, trying to absorb her into his self.

"I'm not going anywhere!" Luna laughed, apparently feeling Neville's increased grip. "You don't have to worry about losing me."

Neville marveled at how she seemed to know what he was thinking. "But Luna... there's a war going on, you know that. What if I lose you through that?"

He didn't think he needed to tell her about Voldemort possibly being after him. It wasn't the right time for that subject; it could wait until later. This was the closest they had come to the subject, and he was a bit uneasy.

"You don't have to worry about losing me; I would just be on the other side of the veil!" Luna told him. "I'll always be there. You'll always be there. It's not like it's the end of everything. Others may die, but as long as you're alive, life goes on."

"It does, doesn't it?" Neville agreed quietly. It was the most obvious thing in the world, but it sounded like a great philosophical statement coming from Luna like that. He gently put his chin on top of Luna's head, all the while very aware of her facial expressions and overall manner, waiting for the slightest sign of her being uncomfortable.

"Ginny Weasley was right about whatever she told you," Luna said conversationally.

"How do you know she told me stuff?"

"I can feel it. But she was right. And even though she started it, you carried it out. You should be very proud of yourself," Luna informed him. Neville grinned.

"I kind of am."

"Good," Luna said. "I'm proud of you, you know."

"I do know. You've told me."

"I want to make sure you knew."

"I do."

"Good."

The conversation was really going nowhere, but meaningless conversations weren't possible with Luna. Neville treasured every word, every syllable, despite what Luna said about having to let life go on as usual. This was something he'd never forget.

"I'm glad you're happy," she said, looking at him.

"I'm glad, too. That I'm happy. And that you're happy. You are happy, right?" Neville looked down at the top of Luna's head, her dirty blonde hair parted slightly off center.

"I have never been happier in my life," Luna said softly.

Neville looked at Luna, Luna Loony Lovegood. Her huge silver eyes couldn't have been bigger, and her wet robes made him want to smile. If she had always been truthful before, then he couldn't imagine what it was to be called now. And he could only return the favor of honesty. He thought about everything, feeling very Gryffindor-ish, and smiled into her eyes.

"Neither have I."

Fin