Confessions: A Tale of Locked Doors and Deception

CHAPTER THE FOURTH

Arriving at the school at quarter to five, I had just enough time to unpack, change into my new cashmere turtleneck jumper and black trousers, fuss in front of the mirror for a bit, then rush to the Great Hall just in time for the feast. Conversation lulled over sumptuous food and sparkling cider, as everyone's minds were set on the nights 'festivities'. Lavender hinted at a tumble in the vacated East Tower with Dean, and Ron tried to ignore Harry and Ginny's obvious coupledom, while trying to catch Hermione's eye. It all would have amused me immensely if it weren't for my preoccupation with a certain somebody sitting at a certain staff table. Dinner finally ended, and I zipped up to my dormitory to grab a bag that contained Remus' present.

Even before most had left the feast, I was in Remus' back room, waiting for the clock to chime seven. Finally, he stumbled in, and by the look on his face, I remembered that I had forgotten to inform him. Oops. It was a happy-shocked face, which is always a good thing. As is being pulled up off the bed and being kissed so hard that it seems as if your lips might fall off. Collecting myself, I presented my gift.

"Merry Christmas, Remus. It's not much, but you need one, you're always cold to the touch and..." my voice trailed off as I waited for his reaction. His long fingers untied the red ribbon bow and broke the seals on the star bedangled gift-wrap. Another lip-tingling kiss was my reward, as was a small package, roughly the size of a wand-box. Opening it, I found an aged gold locket, oval-shaped with runes embossed into the white-gold cover. Opening the miniscule clasp, it revealed its inner panels to be blank, devoid of a traditional lovers' tableau. He lifted it from the blue crushed velvet and clasped it around my neck.

"It's an old family heirloom; my mother, bless her soul, told me to give it to the love of my life. It suits you." He was now regarding the blank interior. But blank it was no longer; one side showed a thirty-something man, the other, a teenaged girl: Remus and myself smiling up at me. Closely examining the runes, I translated the symbols:

True love's heart is stored within

Later, I was to find that when others examined it, such as my dormitory mates, they found nothing. In fact, they found the clasp to be broken and assumed I wore it for 'decoration'. Remus also told me, at a later date, that the magic woven into the charm ordained the pictures not to be shown to the outside world until the love had been as well. Needless to say, no one was to see the contents of the gilded safe, except for the two within.

After our gift exchange, we caught up on each other's last week over a bottle of champagne, in each other's arms. As normal, conversation swerved, then once again resolved a few hours later on his bed, his body over me and his mouth on mine as if his very life depended on it. In my delirium, I felt his hand free itself from my back and slowly slide its way under my sweater and up may back to unclasp my bra. From there, it snaked around to my stomach and up, where it lightly rested, cupping my breast as if afraid to go any further. It surprised me, as I had assumed the alcohol had lowered his inhibitions, but no, it was his own free will that brought him so far, the caution barrier remained.

I broke the kiss, my line of oxygen, and as our eyes met, I knew what he longed for but would never take. Gently removing his hands from my, I slid off the bed, and it was apparent that he took this action as rejection. However, the notion faded away as I pulled the jumper over my head, unbuckled my trousers' waistband, and a few moments later, stood before him, completely nude. Laying my body against his, I undid the top button of this shirt, and the rest was removed by his own action. He pulled down the corner of the bed-sheet and I slid under, him following me.

It was I'd never dreamt of, I was entirely open to his caressing hands and yearning mouth, and was overjoyed to reciprocate. Though I knew he had experience with his age (he was a father, of course!), it seemed to me that he was as timid as I, exploring my body with a driving curiosity, and becoming elated with his discoveries. In his arms, I wanted to laugh aloud from sheer pleasure; it was all I'd ever wanted: to finally be the only one in his thoughts, dreams, and presence. For when we wrapped the coverlet around ourselves, any thought of betrayal and infidelity was finally shut out.

***

I awoke in his arms a few hours later. From his clock on the dresser, I estimated that it was about three forty-five, three hours before dawn. Judging by their 'illegal' escapades, I guessed that in roughly an hour and a half, the hallways would be filled with students creeping back to their dormitories, and if I lingered, I would be interrogated about my previous doings. So I quickly gathered my clothing and dressed myself. Remus groggily opened his lids as I placed a parting kiss on his forehead, and with a final fleeting glance at my beloved, I scurried back to my dormitory.

***

I lay in bed for a while when giggles informed me of my roommates' return. Lavender in the lead, very scantily clad, floated in, followed by Hermione, Monseralte, and Caeleen. They seemed very surprised to see me in my bed, and Lavender automatically began to offer her hypotheses.

"Ooh... you knew we would all be gone... did Davies come here? How did he get the password? You didn't tell him, did you?"

"No," I replied rather crossly, "I was tired so I slept here... alone. It's not criminal, is it? Now, if you don't mind, I'm going to go bathe." I kicked back the sheets and stood up. Halfway across the room, I heard a gasp from Monseralte.

"Ooh, you poor girl! No wonder. Such horrible timing, too". Looking back, I saw the three of them (Hermione was already in the bathroom) staring at a red blotch on my sheet. Looking at my backside in the mirror, there was an identical one staining by pajama bottoms.

"Oh. I'll have to take this then." I grabbed a tampon from the top drawer of my armoire. Upon closer examination in the bathroom, It didn't seem like 'nature was playing a cruel joke'; the blood was redder, and I remembered the burning that I had felt between my legs earlier. Damnit, a tampon wouldn't solve this. Besides, the bleeding had basically stopped, and responsible Caeleen would be ordering a sheet change from the house elves by now, while Hermione grumbled about slave labor and spewing, or something like that. Nothing more for me to have worried about.

***

Later, I found the reason that Davies was Lavender's fist guess to whom I had seduced (or who had seduced me) was that he had bragged about going to the Astronomy Tower to meet a girl he'd been with at the last Hogsmeade weekend, Padma. You'd think that my best friend would have figured it out by now. Stupid Girl. But now I had some good ammunition with which to annoy Padma to death, which was not all in vain. Ha, I knew she was up to something. Well, if they have children, I'll have arrogant, smart Quidditch Stars for nieces and nephews. Lovely.

Speaking of, I had a feeling that Padma knew I was up to something as well, even if everyone else was rather oblivious. There's this strange phenomenon where we can sort of tell what the other is thinking and such. Fred and George can do it, too, I think, so maybe it's a twin thing. But whenever I talked to her, she gave me a patronizing look that she knew I did not stay in the dormitory all New Year's. She knew.

***

Sometime in the second week of January, Caeleen and Monseralte decided to brew a love potion of some sorts for Valentine's day. Eros' Ambrosia, it was called, and they needed the full cooperation of the entire dormitory. Lavender was easy, she was all for making fools of our classmates as they embarrassed themselves into oblivion, and Hermione was as good as in once the words 'difficult potion' were mentioned. They just didn't mention its name or its purpose. The only problem was the need for dried nightshade, a flower used often in the Dark Arts. And who was volunteered to obtain it? Of course. But Snape would sooner kiss Harry as hand over lethal vegetation to his students (to Gryffindors, especially). But who else could obtain it?

"Remus?"

"Yes, Parvati?"

"I need you to do me a favor."