Arden's Refuge

"These things are never easy, Severus," Dumbledore began, after hearing Severus's version of the story, "but I must say, you were a complete idiot."

"Thank you, Albus. Helpful, as always." Severus was tired, tired of agonizing over his mistakes, tired of trying to gather courage that he didn't think was there. And he missed Hermione.

"You've got to do something. She isn't going to come running back, begging for you to love her. You've given her every reason to think that you don't care. And you do, don't you? You do care, right?"

Severus nodded. "More than I'd like to tell you."

"I'm glad you came to me."

"Me, too." As annoyed as he sometimes pretended to be at Albus, Severus always seemed to turn to him.

"Courage, son, courage," Albus said, squeezing the younger man's shoulder.

Severus shook his head. "That's easy enough for you to say. Easy enough for a Gryffindor. Do you realize how different things are for me? I would be going to her with nothing to recommend myself, no superior qualities to boast of, no good looks to attract her..."

"Severus, you aren't the best-looking man in the world. That's a fact. But you aren't half as ugly as you believe yourself to be. And Hermione has made her feelings known. You cannot be any longer in doubt?"

"I cannot help doubting."

"You need to have more faith in her and more faith in her honesty."

He stared at Dumbledore. "What do you know? Who are you, a lifetime bachelor, to presume to tell me about love?"

Albus looked down sadly. "You forget that I was married once. Over a hundred years ago... Miranda... Grindelwald killed her." He looked back up at Severus deliberately. "And I have been in love since then."

"Who...? When?" Severus asked hesitantly.

"I should have thought it was obvious," Albus said. "But these things are never so obvious to our loved ones as we think they are. She is happy now with Alastor... perhaps it is for the best." Albus put his hand over his eyes. "But I can't really get over her..."

"You don't mean... Minerva?"

"I thought I was too old for her. I thought she could never possibly be interested. She was... my best friend. And I loved her. I love her. I never told her," Albus blinked several times rapidly, his eyes temporarily losing their characteristic twinkle. "One night I was walking with her from the Forbidden Forest--we'd been talking to the centaurs, you see--and I wanted very much to kiss her. I stopped walking. I turned to her. I started to lean down. She closed her eyes. And then I stopped. I was too frightened... That was twenty years ago, Severus, and I always found an excuse not to make it right. It's amazing how fear keeps us away from something we want so badly."

"I remember right after they were engaged, you disappeared to Egypt for a few days... Was that--?"

"Yes, that was why. I wanted her to be happy; really, I did. But I had to get away until I could really feel happy for her."

Sevurus looked at him seriously. "Thank you for sharing that with me, Albus."

"I said all that for a reason. Don't do what I did. You know where she lives. Go over there now and make things right. Let her know how you feel before she gives up on you. Don't be such a dunderhead!"

"Do you really think she's interested?"

"If I didn't think so, Severus, I never would have made you take her out in the first place."

"You nosy, interfering old coot."

"But you love me, don't you?" Albus asked, his eyes twinkling once again.

"Not like I love her," Severus answered simply.

"Good. Now be gone!"

-----

This time, as Severus walked the sidewalk between 12 Grimmauld Place and Hermione's flat, the sun was shining. He hated to think in clichés, but it did seem to be a hopeful sign. Still, his fingers trembled slightly and he felt slightly light-headed. He would be there soon enough.

He approached the door of her flat uncertainly, slowly, with none of the self-possessed stride he normally exhibited. It took him several moments to find the courage to push the doorbell. He could hear her footsteps walking toward the door. It seemed like an eternity.

The door flew open suddenly. "Severus," she said, with a small smile. "Sev'rus."

"I have missed you." Now that he had begun, it seemed easy that he had imagined.

Hermione widened the door. "Come inside," she said softly. Her flat was small, simple, and rather messy, with books and papers scattered haphazardly across the desk, the furniture, and even the floor. "I'm sorry it isn't neat."

"It's fine," he said.

"You never wrote to me," she said, sitting down on the sofa--the only available sitting space in the room.

Severus sat down beside her. "I was frightened."

"Of what? Of me?"

"Of myself, more than anything."

"But not now?" she asked, looking directly at him.

He found her hand and grasped it. "Now more than ever."

He was encouraged by her smile. She took his hand in both of hers--her tiny, beautiful hands, warm, soft--even this was almost too much for Severus. "It will be all right," she said, stroking his hand softly.

He moved closer to her and slipped his free arm around her. "Yes, it will be all right," he replied. She leaned in closer, resting her head on his shoulder. He found himself--familiarly enough--running his hand up and down her back, stroking her hair. And this time he was himself. There were no disguises, and yet, she sat there--embracing him. "Te amo," he whispered.

She pulled back slightly and looked up at him with a wicked smile. "What does that mean?"

"You know what it means, you--" Unable to think of a suitable insult, he promptly stopped the conversation with a kiss--a quick, almost desperate kiss.

She twined her arms around his neck and pulled him closer. "Yo a ti," she whispered into his ear. Before Severus properly closed his eyes to kiss her again, he noticed a Spanish textbook lying on the floor.

-----

A mere three months later, Severus found himself doing something he had never imagined he would do: standing at the end of an aisle watching his bride walk toward him. Upon announcing his engagement to Albus, Severus had asked him if he thought it was too soon to take such a step. Albus had firmly answered, "Marry her as soon as possible."

Hermione, unlike most women, was capable of planning her wedding in only two days.

She'd insisted upon getting married on the portico behind the library, and he had to admit that it was really perfect--the soft sound of the waterfall, the shady trees all around, and Albus Dumbledore waiting to administer the vows. A few close friends--the Lupins, the Moodys, and part of Hermione's family--observed the simple ceremony. As he stood there holding Hermione's hands, he thought he noticed a wistful look on Albus's face, followed by a quick glance beyond the couple in the general direction of the Moodys. If only everyone could be so perfectly happy...

He was delighted to hear a thunderclap just as he kissed his bride. The perfect dramatic touch, of course--and the lightning would be lovely to watch from inside the library... He put his arm around his wife and ran inside. He didn't want to catch a cold.

---THE END---